This is wise advice. Feeling the need to buy something at full price that is readily available at resale just to increase "prespend", while already feeling financial stress...this is why we have this thread
Taking an Hermes break or just slowing down. Feel free to join or give support.
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If you don’t feel comfortable and you won’t lose a deposit, there will be another buyer. I wouldn’t worry about your SAs feelings on it as she isn’t paying your bills or responsible for your savings. Hermes is always there in the future but by then you will likely be enjoying what you have and the feeling of being in control amd spending on your own terms.
Oh no, you've mistaken. I don't think I've ever calculated prespend like that. The necklace is my early Valentine's Day to myself. I have never bought anything just for the sake of prespend. I've never bought blankets/pillows, RTW, watches, costume jewelry, and home goods, so far. My financial stress is coming from other expenses outside of H (just bought my first house recently and put most of my savings into it), and I just feel like I should slow down, that's all.This is wise advice. Feeling the need to buy something at full price that is readily available at resale just to increase "prespend", while already feeling financial stress...this is why we have this thread
Thank you for you advice. I probably should have thought about buying this item at resale before asking my SA to secure it for me.
I usually abstain from giving unsolicited advice but the words “financial stress” can get me a bit too worried
Congrats on your new home!!!
Your SA has likely heard this from other clients.
Your sanity is more important than the insanity of what goes on at Hermes, JMO
Totally understand! Sorry I misunderstood, and I understand now. I bought a jewelry piece last year that I probably could have found at resale, just because I absolutely adore that particular SA. Nothing wrong with the easiest and friendliest route!
I do still think that talking through our buying here is healthy
I don't even believe in prespend (or, maybe it just doesn't exist in my stores) and yet I find myself thinking "hmm should I buy this from store A or store B or online?"To stay on topic, I am definitely on a pause at the moment, genuinely because my wishlist is down to a couple items. I was planning to buy a shawl or two, but honestly...the quality is literally down from this past summer 🤷♂️
ETA: I mean this about the CSGMs - I handled a few new shawls and was shocked. So thin! My husband, who knows his bags but has never thought much about the scarves (although he wears a few 100 cms) literally and innocently said "this doesn't feel like the ones we have, is this a different material?". One of the relatively few times I have really been brought up short by a quality decline. It makes me a bit sad but I KNOW I can find a nicer cashmere mix shawl for $1300 USD....sigh.
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I want to take an Hermes break because I am annoyed with my SA and I realized that I already have too much stress in my life for the stress-relieving activity (i.e. luxury shopping) to cause me additional stress! 
(the only snag is that I'm going to Paris next week... oh darn, foiled again!)
(the only snag is that I'm going to Paris next week... oh darn, foiled again!)
Paris won't be stressfulI want to take an Hermes break because I am annoyed with my SA and I realized that I already have too much stress in my life for the stress-relieving activity (i.e. luxury shopping) to cause me additional stress!
(the only snag is that I'm going to Paris next week... oh darn, foiled again!)
It will just be fun!
I want to take an Hermes break because I am annoyed with my SA and I realized that I already have too much stress in my life for the stress-relieving activity (i.e. luxury shopping) to cause me additional stress!
(the only snag is that I'm going to Paris next week... oh darn, foiled again!)
Enjoy your trip to Paris! Extra special H shopping there!!
Everyone has spoken my mind in this thread. Over the years I've been shopping at Hermes with ultimate goal to purchase their QBs. I have enough scarves to wear for each day of the month and many shoes and belts stored away in their orange boxes. The most overwhelming part for me was to re-organising my wardrobes/shelves, make more space just to purchase more...
When it comes to bags, I found it very hard to curate my collection just because when I got "offered" the bag, it's never been the exact combo that I requested. Even if I tried my hardest to only accept what I wanted 100%, there were some pressure to settle for a bag that was close enough to what I wanted. Some sour conversations I experienced such as "You rejected 2 bags already this year.", "We ( kind enough ) to let you on a wishlist" and when I finally purchased the bag, I was told I was "well deserved". I don't know why I let myself being treated that way just because it was Hermes but I know for sure this is not a healthy relationship.
2023 was the year I started to purge my H collection and I'm hoping to stop purchasing this year ( being distracted by LV along the way
). The hardest part I found is the social media posts, tpf and fashion bloggers but a thread like this is very helpful and reminds us to come back to reliability and maintain healthy shopping habits. Exactly how many bags, scarves, bracelets, shoes we need vs H expects us to purchase before granted our wishes to purchase QB ( or sometimes even with non-QB ) and whether we deserve to be treated the way H treated us as paid customers.
When it comes to bags, I found it very hard to curate my collection just because when I got "offered" the bag, it's never been the exact combo that I requested. Even if I tried my hardest to only accept what I wanted 100%, there were some pressure to settle for a bag that was close enough to what I wanted. Some sour conversations I experienced such as "You rejected 2 bags already this year.", "We ( kind enough ) to let you on a wishlist" and when I finally purchased the bag, I was told I was "well deserved". I don't know why I let myself being treated that way just because it was Hermes but I know for sure this is not a healthy relationship.
2023 was the year I started to purge my H collection and I'm hoping to stop purchasing this year ( being distracted by LV along the way
). The hardest part I found is the social media posts, tpf and fashion bloggers but a thread like this is very helpful and reminds us to come back to reliability and maintain healthy shopping habits. Exactly how many bags, scarves, bracelets, shoes we need vs H expects us to purchase before granted our wishes to purchase QB ( or sometimes even with non-QB ) and whether we deserve to be treated the way H treated us as paid customers.
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I have been in the ‘game’ for under 3 years. Bought at different stores at first just for the items (on holiday) and started a relationship with an SA like a year ago. Got my 2 bags in total (1QB) and i am satisfied. You know why?
The bag offer was even better than what i wanted. I was sooo thrilled but the suspense I built up in my head was gone after a week or so.
Do not get me wrong: I love the bag and my non QB as they are perfect but they made me realize they are just bags. After that week or so my initial response to the drop in dopamine was to try to get a 2nd bag ASAP but then i stopped myself. I am someone that can really obsess about things. I did with the first QB but do not want to go through this again.
I got to the realization that there is more to life like good people and good food (in your beautiful H outfit hahaha) AND I really need time to wear my purchases. I have 6/7 shoes, multiple scarves and belts and even more that i really need to enjoy before chasing after ‘the next thing’
I am also leaning more to minimalism nowadays and really use and love what you already have instead of the never ending rat race of wanting more. I practice more Gratitude as well and find myself so happy with everything.
Love this thread
The bag offer was even better than what i wanted. I was sooo thrilled but the suspense I built up in my head was gone after a week or so.
Do not get me wrong: I love the bag and my non QB as they are perfect but they made me realize they are just bags. After that week or so my initial response to the drop in dopamine was to try to get a 2nd bag ASAP but then i stopped myself. I am someone that can really obsess about things. I did with the first QB but do not want to go through this again.
I got to the realization that there is more to life like good people and good food (in your beautiful H outfit hahaha) AND I really need time to wear my purchases. I have 6/7 shoes, multiple scarves and belts and even more that i really need to enjoy before chasing after ‘the next thing’
I am also leaning more to minimalism nowadays and really use and love what you already have instead of the never ending rat race of wanting more. I practice more Gratitude as well and find myself so happy with everything.
Love this thread
I absolutely love this thread. Thank you OP for starting it! I too am currently taking a break from Hermes. Honestly, I feel so incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to build my collection over the years. But for me, all good things must come to an end.
My break started after my wonderful CA left Hermes a while ago. She made shopping so much fun. I never felt like I had to play the "game" which I hate the term and the concept. For me, I always felt like I was offered bags and goodies because I am an equestian and love the brand. I have heard recently that you are expected to continue the so called pre-spend on an annual basis. I haven't spent that much over the past couple years which is why my current CA rarely communicates with me. Spending that kind of money on "wants" does not fit with my current financial goals.
So again, I will continue to use and love everything I have, but won't be adding to my collection any time soon. For the first time, I can truly say that I am at peace with that.
My break started after my wonderful CA left Hermes a while ago. She made shopping so much fun. I never felt like I had to play the "game" which I hate the term and the concept. For me, I always felt like I was offered bags and goodies because I am an equestian and love the brand. I have heard recently that you are expected to continue the so called pre-spend on an annual basis. I haven't spent that much over the past couple years which is why my current CA rarely communicates with me. Spending that kind of money on "wants" does not fit with my current financial goals.
So again, I will continue to use and love everything I have, but won't be adding to my collection any time soon. For the first time, I can truly say that I am at peace with that.
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Thanks to everyone for the contribution to this thread. It is very helpfull and interesting to get everyone's perspective.
From what I have read we have different reasons to slow down. For some it might be the relationship, for others it can be the spending, the number of items already owned, the energy it takes to shop at H…
One key take away for me is :
Putting things into perspective. I think this sums it up all.
Do I need this item?
If it is not a need but just a want, the same question applies !
Do I really want this item ??
Am I buying because I am trying to please my SA ? because of my prespend ? because of FOMO ? because I dont want to leave empty handed ? Am I too stressed in my life and want to compensate?
Am I buying because I love this item and there is no pressure from my own self to buy ?
I will be buying only if the answer is yes.
I went back to my homestore because I decided to exchange an item I bought because of FOMO.
And I have to say I love spending time with my SA and shopping with them. But still, I need to be mindfull and respect my own bondaries.
Reading in this thread, I think an important point is also to Take our own responsability in the shopping process : no one is forcing us to buy.
Yes sometimes it is not fair , but if this happens, we are totally free to walk away.
We are grown up adults, leading a team at work, taking care of our family, managing a business, and dealing with so much important things in life.
Hermes should be pure pleasure, the cherry on the cake . Not a source of stress, self doubts or bad decisions..
From what I have read we have different reasons to slow down. For some it might be the relationship, for others it can be the spending, the number of items already owned, the energy it takes to shop at H…
One key take away for me is :
Putting things into perspective. I think this sums it up all.
Do I need this item?
If it is not a need but just a want, the same question applies !
Do I really want this item ??
Am I buying because I am trying to please my SA ? because of my prespend ? because of FOMO ? because I dont want to leave empty handed ? Am I too stressed in my life and want to compensate?
Am I buying because I love this item and there is no pressure from my own self to buy ?
I will be buying only if the answer is yes.
I went back to my homestore because I decided to exchange an item I bought because of FOMO.
And I have to say I love spending time with my SA and shopping with them. But still, I need to be mindfull and respect my own bondaries.
Reading in this thread, I think an important point is also to Take our own responsability in the shopping process : no one is forcing us to buy.
Yes sometimes it is not fair , but if this happens, we are totally free to walk away.
We are grown up adults, leading a team at work, taking care of our family, managing a business, and dealing with so much important things in life.
Hermes should be pure pleasure, the cherry on the cake . Not a source of stress, self doubts or bad decisions..
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I noticed this too. Bought the h lift in blanc naturel from the recent collection and it’s a bit sheer compared to other light colored cashmeres previously.Totally understand! Sorry I misunderstood, and I understand now. I bought a jewelry piece last year that I probably could have found at resale, just because I absolutely adore that particular SA. Nothing wrong with the easiest and friendliest route!
I do still think that talking through our buying here is healthy
To stay on topic, I am definitely on a pause at the moment, genuinely because my wishlist is down to a couple items. I was planning to buy a shawl or two, but honestly...the quality is literally down from this past summer 🤷♂️
ETA: I mean this about the CSGMs - I handled a few new shawls and was shocked. So thin! My husband, who knows his bags but has never thought much about the scarves (although he wears a few 100 cms) literally and innocently said "this doesn't feel like the ones we have, is this a different material?". One of the relatively few times I have really been brought up short by a quality decline. It makes me a bit sad but I KNOW I can find a nicer cashmere mix shawl for $1300 USD....sigh.
One of the reasons I would likely pause as well. And our store doesn’t always get a lot of things and I’m at a point that I don’t want to settle if the item specs do no exactly match what I want. I need to enjoy what I have before making the next round of purchases to see if there’s any gap I need to fill. Hoping the H insanity driven by social media will lessen by then
One time I was trying on boots. The 38 was too small the 39 too large…both not comfy. The SA kept giving me all these wacky suggestions of things I could do to “make” them work (wear two pairs of socks! Stretch them out with newspaper!) until finally I looked up and said “Or, I could just find other boots that actually fit me at another store.” She was astonished.
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