Sentimental Wedding Band Problem

[PaigeMerlin]

Hi All!

We became engaged at the start of November, very happily so & with an 18ct white gold ring. Unfortunately we have hit a snag with the wedding bands. I told my fiancé about owning some of my late Nans engagement and wedding bands that I would like for us to use. My fiancé was just as excited as I was to have something sentimental reconfigured into our desired styles. I got in contact with a jeweller who I had met previously, but due to health issues it’s only all coming together now.

My existing rings from my Nan are a wide 9ct yellow gold band, 18ct yellow gold exceptionally thin 2/3 band to an engagement ring (head is a white metal with teensy diamonds I assume would be scrapped), and a small 18ct yellow gold band.
Our hope is to have two white metal rings - mine white gold as a half eternity lab diamond band and my fiancés as a 5mm court band with two grooves either finished in white gold, titanium or platinum.
I thought we could use the yellow gold and then coat with our chosen metal.

Our jeweller has come back and said that she doesn’t like to plate wedding bands because the amount of use they get it will fade really quickly. It looks like if we want white metal bands we would either have to offset the cost by scrapping our existing rings or keeping them for something else. Just to make sure we aren’t missing something - Is this correct?

If we don’t want to see yellow gold in our wedding bands is there anything else you can suggest that would be a good use of these rings for sentimental reasons? Something to do with the wedding. I think there aren’t options - anything we do will clash. It’ll just be that I keep them for something worn less often or which is yellow gold facing. For in the very distant future when I find enough money between seat cushions for anything like this again!

 

[leechiyong]

Best wishes on your upcoming wedding!

I'm not quite understanding what you're requesting; pure gold is yellow, but melted and mixed with other metals to create different colors. My expectation would be a jeweler would melt your pieces and use the gold content to create white gold to make your rings. Are you trying to retain the rings in their present forms? If not, was this an option presented to you? It might be an alternative worth exploring.

 

[lill_canele]

Same, I'm a little confused.

Do you mind posting photos of your Nan's rings and your engagement ring together so we can get a better idea?

What do you mean by existing rings? Does that mean you already bought white gold wedding rings? But then also want to use your Nan's rings?

Overall, I have a feeling that you basically don't want the color of yellow gold for your wedding bands.
I agree with your jeweler. Plating the YG with WG won't last very long on a wedding band that's worn daily and usually not taken off.

Personally, I would either just use my Nan's rings as my wedding band as is or I'd just keep it and wear it out whenever I felt like it or for more special occasions.
When I got married, I inherited a lovely collection of rings from my late grandmother. They are too fancy to be wedding bands but I do enjoy wearing them here and there, and especially for family events and special occasions.

Congratulations on your engagement and have a wonderful upcoming wedding!

 

[limom]

Have a jeweler melt the gold and create two medals with pics of you and your fiancé facing.
Have the wedding date engraved in the back.
Done.

 

[PaigeMerlin]

Thank you for the replies and congratulations

Sorry to have been vague! The existing rings are my Nan’s old yellow gold rings (now attached in a photo).
My engagement ring is white gold and I don’t want a yellow gold band because of the clashing metals. Keeping the rings in their existing form is also not possible due to the extensive age and wear. My ideal band is a diamond half eternity ring that is flush with my engagement ring (the closest I could try on to what I want was the ruby-diamond band shown in the second photo).
You’re right, white gold is made up of a yellow gold alloy but I’ve been told it’s using far more pure gold and that the extraction process from my 9/18ct bands is difficult and costly. Too difficult and costly.

I LOVE fine jewellery, but this may be my only chance of buying or commissioning anything in this category for decades. Poor health = low wages. I don’t want to mess up the opportunity, I want something I love and I don’t have the sure knowledge that what I’m being told is right. Maybe it’s easier to use the yellow bands than I’ve been led to believe?

@limom that is a left field suggestion that really plays into my love of coins! I am not dismissing this, it’s certainly intriguing, but it wouldn’t be something I’d wear each day. Though it may be that there isn’t a perfect option that I could wear each day.

 

[ChickosMom]

Thank you for the replies and congratulations

Sorry to have been vague! The existing rings are my Nan’s old yellow gold rings (now attached in a photo).
My engagement ring is white gold and I don’t want a yellow gold band because of the clashing metals. Keeping the rings in their existing form is also not possible due to the extensive age and wear. My ideal band is a diamond half eternity ring that is flush with my engagement ring (the closest I could try on to what I want was the ruby-diamond band shown in the second photo).
You’re right, white gold is made up of a yellow gold alloy but I’ve been told it’s using far more pure gold and that the extraction process from my 9/18ct bands is difficult and costly. Too difficult and costly.

I LOVE fine jewellery, but this may be my only chance of buying or commissioning anything in this category for decades. Poor health = low wages. I don’t want to mess up the opportunity, I want something I love and I don’t have the sure knowledge that what I’m being told is right. Maybe it’s easier to use the yellow bands than I’ve been led to believe?

@limom that is a left field suggestion that really plays into my love of coins! I am not dismissing this, it’s certainly intriguing, but it wouldn’t be something I’d wear each day. Though it may be that there isn’t a perfect option that I could wear each day.

talk to a second or third jeweler about remaking this. i think, jewelers use their the metal they already have to build the ring and not wait to extract gold from these rings to make your new ring

 

[BigAkoya]

Hi! First, congratulations on your engagement!

If I may share my thoughts for your engagement ring...

I would not try to re-do Nan's rings. Why?
First, if you make it WG, it will be a maintenance nightmare as the WG will need to be plated often. Also, if you "re-do" the rings, they are not original, so it kind of misses the point of wearing "Nan's original ring", at least to me. It feels more like wearing a "recycled gold ring" vs. wearing an "original antique ring" which is a subtle, but important, distinction in my mind. This is the same if you melt the rings down; the meaning is lost. That's just me though, and all this is emotional, so think about what you really want from this.

What would I do?
I would buy the wedding band of your dreams... go for it. You will wear that band everyday, you will stare at it, and you will love it.
It will be the special piece created for your marriage.

For Nan's rings, you have three of them... a trinity! I would have the jeweler cut & solder them together to make interlocked rings (aka Cartier Trinity theme), and I would wear them as a long pendant. They may be too bulky and look odd as a short pendant, but they will look great worn on a nice long chain (you'll have to play with the chain length that works best for you). As a long necklace, you will also be able to see them, touch them, and remember Nan.

Here are some photos so you can visualize what I mean. The first photo is the perfect ring looping. You can see how it can look 3D and not flat. The second photo is what I would not want. In the second photo, all the rings are flat and looped the same, like three metal washers strung together (not a good look). Hence, if you like this idea, be sure to have the jeweler cut & solder back rings so they can lay and look 3D.

Just a thought. Hope this helps in your decision. Good luck, and congratulations again!

 

[A1aGypsy]

Love that idea Big Akoya!

I second the “get the ring of your dreams”. Unfortunately, remaking or reusing rings seems like it should be a cost savings but it often ends up costing way more than buying a premade ring.

Also, and I am sorry for being unromantic here, but awful and unexpected things do happen. I would recommend using the rings to make something you can keep and wear with fondness, no matter what happens.

And I wish you a lifetime of happiness!

 

[Bagatha Christie]

Honestly, I wouldn’t go near melting down rings that you care about to make something else for a lot of reasons.
1. because jewellers skill levels vary massively and theyd be irreplaceable if damaged.
2. also our own tastes vary massively over the years. I think there would be nothing worse than knowing you sacrificed several things that represent people you loved for something that is no longer ‘you’ if that makes sense - just get a matching band in white gold to be your ring for your new marriage.
3. Also I don’t want to be doom and gloom but what if the marriage doesn’t work out? I do think there’s something to be said for your wedding band only representing that marriage and you are free to Chuck it in the river and draw a line under it without hurting any other memories.

 

[ame]

I wouldn't do ANYTHING to these at all. They are old and sentimental, and you can have them copied and made to your tastes so that you have something that is more representative of your style without risking the original. I fear that if you mess with the original and scrap the original stones, you may regret that down the line. If you wish to wear them, wear them as-is, you can also maybe even exchange them as part of the ceremony with your "official" bands. But definitely make sure there's a legal document drafted somewhere to assure your spouse returns theirs to you should the relationship end.

 

[saligator]

Hi All!

We became engaged at the start of November, very happily so & with an 18ct white gold ring. Unfortunately we have hit a snag with the wedding bands. I told my fiancé about owning some of my late Nans engagement and wedding bands that I would like for us to use. My fiancé was just as excited as I was to have something sentimental reconfigured into our desired styles. I got in contact with a jeweller who I had met previously, but due to health issues it’s only all coming together now.

My existing rings from my Nan are a wide 9ct yellow gold band, 18ct yellow gold exceptionally thin 2/3 band to an engagement ring (head is a white metal with teensy diamonds I assume would be scrapped), and a small 18ct yellow gold band.
Our hope is to have two white metal rings - mine white gold as a half eternity lab diamond band and my fiancés as a 5mm court band with two grooves either finished in white gold, titanium or platinum.
I thought we could use the yellow gold and then coat with our chosen metal.

Our jeweller has come back and said that she doesn’t like to plate wedding bands because the amount of use they get it will fade really quickly. It looks like if we want white metal bands we would either have to offset the cost by scrapping our existing rings or keeping them for something else. Just to make sure we aren’t missing something - Is this correct?

If we don’t want to see yellow gold in our wedding bands is there anything else you can suggest that would be a good use of these rings for sentimental reasons? Something to do with the wedding. I think there aren’t options - anything we do will clash. It’ll just be that I keep them for something worn less often or which is yellow gold facing. For in the very distant future when I find enough money between seat cushions for anything like this again!

First of all congratulations!

Secondly, go with Platinum. You'll thank me later -- and it's cheaper than gold right now. Super durable, best metal ever!

That leaves what to do with Gran's bands.

Get them sized and wear them -- you'll find that sometimes you won't want to wear your wedding set and will be happy to have some other rings to play around with.