Why would there be "sticker shock" at checkout? The shipping cost is right there in the listing so you just add it to the price of the item! (The only "surprise" might be an added sales tax that is added by the venue and charged by YOUR OWN STATE. The seller has nothing to do with that; it's collected by the site and forwarded to your state DOR.)
You say you're "drawn to items that offer free shipping over someone charging $11 to ship a purse that doesn’t weigh much." The problem is that most buyers aren't aware of how much USPS, UPS or Fedex charge for shipping. A seller who charges $11 to ship that bag might still be paying an extra $4 or more to cover the cost. (I just shipped a 2 lb. package across the country and the shipping price was over $13! The buyer had paid $10.)
Sorry but that makes absolutely NO sense! And certainly isn't the smart thing to do for your budget or your wallet!
When I shop, whether online or at a B&M store, I have a figure in mind of what I can afford to pay and when I calculate the cost, I consider the total bottom line. (I add shipping, sales tax, etc. and that's the price of the item.)
IMO, to be willing to pay $100 (with free shipping) for the same item that you could get for $75 (including shipping) is just plain dumb!
Bottom line is the total!