It's interesting. . . I was thinking about this thread last night and wondering when we got so *hung up* on THE ring.
When my parents and my ILs and my grandparents were married, they were surprised with a basic engagement ring, and it was exciting, but not usually something flashy. It was a ring that *fit* with their stage in life, which was "just starting out."
My mom still wears her original, small diamond. My Dad is very successful now, but a few years ago, he and my mom simply had the original diamond reset in a beautiful setting, with two, small, matching, interesting, non-flashy side bands. My MIL got another stone, 2.5x the size the original stone, on her 25th anniversary (so not until she was in her late 40s) and a third stone, to make a 3-stone ring, on her 40th (so not until she was in her early 60s). But the original stone and her original, simple, wedding band are still part of what she wears.
Even ten years ago, when I was married, it was exciting to get your ring, but I don't feel like my friends (mostly successful businesswomen with successful husbands, many from the Ivy League, living in the big city) were so well informed about the *best* jewelers, the *best* cuts, the *best* size. It was just exciting to get a nice ring!
The most informed of the fiancés all went to diamond dealers for the best prices on the best stones, and brand names weren't really a factor. We didn't talk about Tacori or Tiffany or Cartier. I mean, looking back, I am pretty sure one friend's ring came from Tiffany and another from Cartier, but that wasn't the focus. If we talked about anything, it was more about how pretty the rings were, and what our fiancés looked for in stones when they went to the diamond dealers.
My ring was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen then. . . it probably isn't what I would pick if we were just getting engaged now. I would probably pick something slightly larger and more simply set.
We've talked about eventually upgrading. . . and yet. . . I am somehow disinclined to get rid of the original. I would most certainly reset with the original stone in a 3-stone design. . . and maybe not reset at all, but add a large eternity band. That ring symbolizes something about where we were in our lives at that time, and even though my tastes have changed a little, those are good memories. And 10 years in, brand names mean nothing. I wouldn't like it any more or less if it were from Tiffany or Cartier. My stone is beautiful b/c my husband picked it himself, based on his favorite of the 4Cs, and the ring is beautiful because we chose and modified it ourselves, at a *no name* goldsmith's shop.
Friends who have waited until later in life to get married all have larger (much larger) rings, many of them from places like Cartier. But that also says something about where they are in their lives-- older, more stable, more successful, more definitive in their tastes. Nothing wrong with it-- just like my ring reflects my life ten years ago, their rings reflect their lives now. IMO, your ring should be a little bit aspirational, of course, but not so much so that it has nothing to do with your current stage in life.
When my parents and my ILs and my grandparents were married, they were surprised with a basic engagement ring, and it was exciting, but not usually something flashy. It was a ring that *fit* with their stage in life, which was "just starting out."
My mom still wears her original, small diamond. My Dad is very successful now, but a few years ago, he and my mom simply had the original diamond reset in a beautiful setting, with two, small, matching, interesting, non-flashy side bands. My MIL got another stone, 2.5x the size the original stone, on her 25th anniversary (so not until she was in her late 40s) and a third stone, to make a 3-stone ring, on her 40th (so not until she was in her early 60s). But the original stone and her original, simple, wedding band are still part of what she wears.
Even ten years ago, when I was married, it was exciting to get your ring, but I don't feel like my friends (mostly successful businesswomen with successful husbands, many from the Ivy League, living in the big city) were so well informed about the *best* jewelers, the *best* cuts, the *best* size. It was just exciting to get a nice ring!
The most informed of the fiancés all went to diamond dealers for the best prices on the best stones, and brand names weren't really a factor. We didn't talk about Tacori or Tiffany or Cartier. I mean, looking back, I am pretty sure one friend's ring came from Tiffany and another from Cartier, but that wasn't the focus. If we talked about anything, it was more about how pretty the rings were, and what our fiancés looked for in stones when they went to the diamond dealers.
My ring was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen then. . . it probably isn't what I would pick if we were just getting engaged now. I would probably pick something slightly larger and more simply set.
We've talked about eventually upgrading. . . and yet. . . I am somehow disinclined to get rid of the original. I would most certainly reset with the original stone in a 3-stone design. . . and maybe not reset at all, but add a large eternity band. That ring symbolizes something about where we were in our lives at that time, and even though my tastes have changed a little, those are good memories. And 10 years in, brand names mean nothing. I wouldn't like it any more or less if it were from Tiffany or Cartier. My stone is beautiful b/c my husband picked it himself, based on his favorite of the 4Cs, and the ring is beautiful because we chose and modified it ourselves, at a *no name* goldsmith's shop.
Friends who have waited until later in life to get married all have larger (much larger) rings, many of them from places like Cartier. But that also says something about where they are in their lives-- older, more stable, more successful, more definitive in their tastes. Nothing wrong with it-- just like my ring reflects my life ten years ago, their rings reflect their lives now. IMO, your ring should be a little bit aspirational, of course, but not so much so that it has nothing to do with your current stage in life.
