Rotating bags at a new job; how soon is too soon?!
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I'll be starting a new job in the near future, my Boss is retiring soon, I was thinking the same thing. My 3 coworkers are not bag ladies, but do check mine out and comment. I have felt defensive a bit, even pointed out that I don't travel, have kids in college etc. I got them to quit when I pointed out one collects antique watches and one gemstone rings. Now they get it that this is my thing. And now they are buying bags off me on occasion, this has worked out. But when I start the new job, here we go again. I think I'll stick to a basic leather bag for a few days at a time to get the feel of things, I want to be noticed for what I do there, and not have the attention on what I carry. And I don't want to carry better than my Boss, I have been doing that for ages, LOL. But I think many people notice, we all look at whats around us,
Sad but I find this to be true. Bags have become such a noticeable accessory item and when one has good taste, and wears a very attractive bag, it does stand out!
I think the best thing even though it might seem cold is not to discuss your bags at all with any of the women at the office if they bring it up, until you've been there a while and gotten to know them. Literally, like nod and thank you and talk shop. I have been in the position of opening up my mouth once about fashion and all of a sudden I get "oh is that a new bag/dress/shoes?" every time I walk into the office in the mornings. Since you are new there, you don't want to get pigeon-holed into that role. I would take my cue from the boss's wife over a period of time.
A new bag is definitely noticed at my work as everyone's is placed on a common shelf. I decide on 2-3 neutral, functional work bags to switch out for different seasons and frankly save my other bags for my off time. Also many of my coworkers are in a hard place financially and I feel it would not be in good taste to show up with a new bag even every month.
I think women at the office definitely notice. At my last office (I am now self-employed), I wore the same cheap handbag for months at a time and when I switched to another beat-up cheap handbag, people commented. I bought a new top maybe twice a year, and when I wore it, someone would ask "ooh, is that a new top?" So, people do sort of take note. If I had been 'into' handbags when I worked there, I would have been careful not to rotate all the time, for various reasons such as the nature of the workplace (it's a non-profit), the disposable income of other co-workers, and just general office cultures that vary from place to place. In some offices here in the private and public sector, there is a lot of peer pressure to bring a nice premium designer handbag to the office to parade to your coworkers and discuss with them about - ours was not one of those workplaces. Even our director made comments about new clothes and hairstyles, so if you didn't want to draw attention to yourself in that way, you would just keep it on the DL.
I would adopt a 'wait-and-see' attitude and get a better feel of your workplace culture before doing your rotations.
I would adopt a 'wait-and-see' attitude and get a better feel of your workplace culture before doing your rotations.
I'm trying to understand why the boss's wife would at all matter when deciding what bag to carry to work. I really mean no disrespect to the people who have posted such comments - just really trying to figure it out.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I used to work as a nurse in a pediatrician's office, so the doctors who owned the practice were all my "bosses". Five of them were female, and one was a married male who's wife I met on many occasions. Not a single one of them cared that the bags I carried were more expensive than theirs, nor did they care how many I owned. I know this to be true because these people became my friends over the years that I worked there, coming to my house for parties, having playdates with our children, and going out for dinners in the evening.
On the flip side, I am the "bosses wife" in my husband's office and whenever I've met his female employees and male employees' wives, I always look to see what kind of bag they're carrying - I'm not into shoes and clothing so much - and totally appreciate it when someone is carrying a beautiful bag. In fact, I know the salaries of his employees and will wonder to myself why someone wouldn't buy themselves a nicer bag when I know that they can probably afford it. And, I couldn't care less if one of his employees is carrying a nicer, or more expensive bag than me. Why would I? Am I suppossed to care?
I'd appreciate any feedback on this subject because I've always been puzzled by it. Thank you!
As I mentioned in my previous post, I used to work as a nurse in a pediatrician's office, so the doctors who owned the practice were all my "bosses". Five of them were female, and one was a married male who's wife I met on many occasions. Not a single one of them cared that the bags I carried were more expensive than theirs, nor did they care how many I owned. I know this to be true because these people became my friends over the years that I worked there, coming to my house for parties, having playdates with our children, and going out for dinners in the evening.
On the flip side, I am the "bosses wife" in my husband's office and whenever I've met his female employees and male employees' wives, I always look to see what kind of bag they're carrying - I'm not into shoes and clothing so much - and totally appreciate it when someone is carrying a beautiful bag. In fact, I know the salaries of his employees and will wonder to myself why someone wouldn't buy themselves a nicer bag when I know that they can probably afford it. And, I couldn't care less if one of his employees is carrying a nicer, or more expensive bag than me. Why would I? Am I suppossed to care?
I'd appreciate any feedback on this subject because I've always been puzzled by it. Thank you!
I rotate all the time to coordinate with my outfit of the day. I bring a large Missoni for Target tote with me which has a rather loud B&W zig zag pattern. I think people notice that more than the handbag I carry.
So maybe double up (tote and bag) and most people wont give it a second glance. I literally look like the "bag lady" carrying all 3 (including my Built polka dot lunch tote).
The more nonchalant you are about it - the easier it is to pull off.
So maybe double up (tote and bag) and most people wont give it a second glance. I literally look like the "bag lady" carrying all 3 (including my Built polka dot lunch tote).
The more nonchalant you are about it - the easier it is to pull off.
you're obviously not a petty person
on the other hand, your comment that you wonder why some of the staff doesn't buy a nicer bag shows that you do notice
In my (maybe paranoid) mind, there is the possibility that with some bosses (or owner's wives, etc) if they are into fashion and a staff member "outdoes" them, they could think something like "she doesn't really need the money from this job"
If they are competitive, it could annoy them
on the other hand, your comment that you wonder why some of the staff doesn't buy a nicer bag shows that you do notice
In my (maybe paranoid) mind, there is the possibility that with some bosses (or owner's wives, etc) if they are into fashion and a staff member "outdoes" them, they could think something like "she doesn't really need the money from this job"
If they are competitive, it could annoy them
Is that maybe why it was a noted negative to switch out bags? A catty response? It seems so weird to me that someone's handbag(s) would even be considered at the workplace.
On the flip side, I'm sure there are people who are petty enough to see an expensive bag (or even just more than one bag) and think, "So that's where her paycheck goes," or some such jealousy-fueled nastiness.
I've never experienced anything like that in the workplace, but I also think that my co-workers have no clue about bags other than Coach and Dooney and those are probably way out of their price range. (I'm a low-paid teacher, and many of my co-workers are in strict financial situations, even if they're married.)
@swezfamily-
I think you've been VERY lucky to not have to deal with weirdness and cattiness about your bags. Also it seems like you are a very genuine and kind person who takes people at face value and sees the best in everyone. That is actually rare and if you've been appreciated for being that way then you should definitely count your blessings in this.
I'd love to say that it shouldn't matter, do what you want, who cares? But the reality is, in work situations, what other people think really can effect how well you end up doing there and how long you get to stay. If one person, (ie the bosses wife) takes offense by something seemingly unimportant to the world at large, but very important to that one person, she can set about making your life a misery and not rest until you are driven out of there. I know this from personal experience. Luckily I don't have to deal with this now as a SAHM, but if I ever do go back to work, I've vowed to play it very low key until I have a really good idea of who is who and who runs what and who is the alpha female etc.
It's unfortunately, one of those status things that shouldn't matter, but does matter.
I think you've been VERY lucky to not have to deal with weirdness and cattiness about your bags. Also it seems like you are a very genuine and kind person who takes people at face value and sees the best in everyone. That is actually rare and if you've been appreciated for being that way then you should definitely count your blessings in this.
I'd love to say that it shouldn't matter, do what you want, who cares? But the reality is, in work situations, what other people think really can effect how well you end up doing there and how long you get to stay. If one person, (ie the bosses wife) takes offense by something seemingly unimportant to the world at large, but very important to that one person, she can set about making your life a misery and not rest until you are driven out of there. I know this from personal experience. Luckily I don't have to deal with this now as a SAHM, but if I ever do go back to work, I've vowed to play it very low key until I have a really good idea of who is who and who runs what and who is the alpha female etc.
It's unfortunately, one of those status things that shouldn't matter, but does matter.
