% of salary - what's a reasonable amount to spend on engagement ring?

[bonniec]

I've never been a big jewelry person and simply wanted a 1ct solitaire with a 4 or 6 prong setting. After looking around everywhere (friends' jewelers, jewelry mart, Costco, Sams Club), we finally went with Sams Club. Their Regal Collection is really classy (I just checked and they don't have anything at the moment). But my solitaire is 4 prong, raised in just the PERFECT setting, and it was an H/VS1/Ideal Hearts on Fire cut (which is as perfect of a cut as you can get) and I think it was somewhere between 5K and 6K.

MIL was not happy with us buying such a "small" ring as it didn't reflect well on our image (she is Asian, DH and I are both physicians). But the bottom line is, it's just a piece of *thing*. I'm much happier seeing the money in my bank account LOL Honestly, sometimes I feel guilty even having a 1ct ring which is bigger than a lot of Americans...

Compare this with my SIL with a 2ct ring and can hardly make mortgage payments ...

Don't get sucked into the DeBeers marketing scam. And good luck. Can we say an early "Congratulations" is in order????

 

[rainrowan]

Knowing now what I didn't know about dh's salary at the time of the proposal, I should have held out for the 3-month salary rule

 

[bellapsyd]

So what do you want? lol


Actually i am very happy with what i have now.. promise ring and my new ring.. it just wasnt given with the name ering and wedding band so oh well hehe

BEAUTIFUL rings! And (I love the bunny!) We have a bunny thread (I think I already told you that? Not sure) !


I also feel that upgrades lose meaning so go for the bigger diamond now (in the future there will always be more important things to spend $ on rather than a new ring...like house payments, kids, leaky kitchen sinks, etc).

Me and my SO are in that position now. I'm obsessed with Tacori settings and would like at least a1ct. So the setting along drives the price to 5000

 

[Fishfood]

I have a friend who has a gorgeous delicate filigree wide band with etoile diamonds spattered throughout. It is STRIKING and she wears it as both rings. I've seen it strike jealousy in girls with big rocks firsthand LoL

 

[Swanky]

BEAUTIFUL rings! And (I love the bunny!) We have a bunny thread (I think I already told you that? Not sure) !


I also feel that upgrades lose meaning so go for the bigger diamond now (in the future there will always be more important things to spend $ on rather than a new ring...like house payments, kids, leaky kitchen sinks, etc).

Me and my SO are in that position now. I'm obsessed with Tacori settings and would like at least a1ct. So the setting along drives the price to 5000

wow, $5k can get you a much larger stone. . . in this case, it wouldn't be upgrading per se but getting a new band for the wedding
I'd ask for the $5k to go to the stone on a plain band and instead of getting a band for the wedding I'd ask for the setting


edited to add: Oh wait! That actually what we just did w/ my upgrade! LOL!

 

[bellapsyd]

wow, $5k can get you a much larger stone. . . in this case, it wouldn't be upgrading per se but getting a new band for the wedding
I'd ask for the $5k to go to the stone on a plain band and instead of getting a band for the wedding I'd ask for the setting


edited to add: Oh wait! That actually what we just did w/ my upgrade! LOL!

I never thought of that!!!! That is a FABULOUS idea!

 

[Kellybag]

For me, it was so nice to leave that decision in the hands of my husband-to-be. One reason why I fell in love with him was the fact he was in tune with me and there were no worries about my ring. I knew he would choose something beautiful and perfect. It was also extremely exciting.

On a side note, I was raised by Italians with a very European mentality; and this was just not something that I grew up being taught that I should be a part of. (not sure if I am expressing this exactly the way I would like, but I hope you understand in part what I mean)

Any ring chosen would make a wonderful symbol of eternity and commitment on a man's part.

I do hope you receive or find what you love and that will make you happy!

 

[ms.fashionista]

For me, it was so nice to leave that decision in the hands of my husband-to-be. One reason why I fell in love with him was the fact he was in tune with me and there were no worries about my ring. I knew he would choose something beautiful and perfect. It was also extremely exciting.

Sounds like my story!! My DH did very well and picked out my ring ALL BY HIMSELF!! I was very surprised that he knew my taste exactly. We didn't even go ring shopping together beforehand...I am extremely proud of him!

 

[IntlSet]

^^^
You ladies are lucky, I really entertain zero hope of this ever happening. It's not so much the money he is willing to spend I'm concerned about, but rather, his taste.

 

[cjj]

This is just MY opinion; it is NOT meant to offend anyone at ALL:

I think it is ridiculous to spend money on a stone that is literally a dime a dozen. The marketing/brain washing that DeBeers and a few other companies have done on society is amazing. Guilt, debt, anger, etc because the ring wasn't big enough, shiny enough, perfect enough in the 4 C's, etc. shows how shallow many many women are. The fact that "chocolate diamonds" are rejects and are now oohed and ahhed over show how well we can be sold a bunch of crap. Yes, diamonds are sparkly, they are beautiful when the light hits them and prior to the 50's, very very few ever received them as engagement rings. It's American consumerism at it's best.

Do I have one? No. I simply could not see the logic in it. $35,000 for something that does nothing but sit on my finger? Are you kidding me? I don't think so. There is SO MUCH MORE that the money could be used for; SO much more.

I guess what irks me the most is that I know too many women who base their opinion on a guy on the type of ring he buys. "If it's a small diamond, then he must be 1)cheap or 2)doesn't appreciate me, 3)doesn't think I deserve it, 4)doesn't want me to be happy" or a bunch of other childish reasons. If an object is this important and you're going to be pissed, angry or (in some cases I know of) break off the engagement, you have your priorities screwed up.

A man who will hold your hair back from your face when you vomit from chemo after losing your breast to cancer, wipe your mouth and say "you are so beautiful" is worth more than any diamond in the world. And to think one may be passed by just because he won't by "the ring I just HAVE to have bacause that's what THEY say".

Again, this is just how I feel. I don't begrudge anyone their dreams or desires regarding anything. It's just my opinion.

 

[IntlSet]

cjj, I completely hear what you mean. I don't think you're at all offensive, but for some reason, you sound really angry to me... that's just my opinion and I don't want it to offend you because I like you a lot and I invariably enjoy your posts since they are considerate and thoughtful.

The "dime a dozen" theory applies to so many things -- not just diamonds. It includes handbags, designer gowns, Manolo Blahnik shoes, BMW cars... almost nothing in this world is unique and inherently worthy of its pricetag.

I agree completely that going into debt for a ring is really taking it all too far. And yet, many women in this forum admittedly go into debt for handbags, so I think it's really best not to comment on how other people choose to spend their money.

I'm the first to admit that my desire for a really beautiful ring totally stems from superficial desires -- aren't we all in this forum because we love beautiful things? I find it a little crazy to berate anybody for wanting a nice ring because a ring is not very different than a handbag. I'm all for "the meaning of it all" etc., etc., but come on -- that's what *marriage* is about. Marriage is all about meaning: to me, a ring is just a ring. And as a ring, as a piece of jewelry, it would be great if it could be lovely!

Young people like me, when they get engaged or marry, rarely have the opportunity to test their significant others. All you can do is hope that (a) he buys you a nice ring (b) he'll also hold your hair back whether you're puking from too much tequila or from chemo.

It is simply a given that the man giving you a ring is THERE for you. This thread is only about an inanimate object, and I am surprised how many people assume automatically that because I (and other girls) care about what kind of ring I get, I somehow discount other important qualities in a man.

 

[cjj]

^ No offense! But please, please do notice that I said it was just my opinion. If we were sitting in a pub or around the dinner table and someone asked me my opinion, it's how I would answer.

No anger, no nothing; hense the smile at the end of the post. Like I said (and I'll say it again, lol), it's just MY opinion. I don't expect anyone to agree and I would hope everyone here would understand that; esp. as I didn't single anyone out or comment on any post.

It's just what I feel.

 

[missD]

Its really not about how much to spend on the ring, its more about getting the best with what you can afford. Do I want a larger stone that looks like theres a man shoveling coal inside it? No. hhaha. Do I want a perfect D/E?F/ VVS1 stone thats way too small? No either. You got to find the right size for you first then start venturing to the specs then you can juggle that around and find the right price, imo.

2-3 months salary (after tax right?) is A LOT of money for someone our age (I'm 25). If this was the case, it would mean the bf will be shelling out $10,000-$15,000 there on the spot which at my age is not a wise move esp when who wants to get into debt when starting out a life together? My bf's totally against buying a ring laced with huge amounts debt.

I think you should get a beautiful quality stone and something reasonable in size. If you have small fingers, perhaps go for a .80-.90 carat, that will save you A LOT of money than if you went the step above and got a 1 full carat. Visually they're not THAT different.

And if you wanted it to POP out more, go for may be a HALO setting, something delicate but adds to the circumference of the stone so it looks more BLING!

 

[sinniebunnie]

Kellybag- I have no say in my stone shape, my bf has his heart set on getting me a heart (i wanted a round or square) with SI G (we call it sig) I think one of the main reasons to the heart is because i am clueless on which way to wear it. Its like torture turning it around all day long. I'm sure he gets a kick out of that. ush:


cjj- I sadly agree with you. i seriously would rather ride in a nice safe car then a bucket and have a rock on my hand. my budget is 5k i don't think i will go above that in the future. With 35k i can put a nice down on a house. (my area is expensive avg is 1.5mil, hell rent for a 2bd is 2000) I remember someone telling me a story about how she knew a guy who proposed with a 1ct and the girl threw it back.

I also agree with the point you made on the bigger diamond better guy thing. Of course a bigger diamond means he can afford/ is willing to spend. But it can also mean that the guy is not good with money and just went into debt. My 4 cousins who just got engaged/married are mid to late 20's, with princess 1.5-2cts. I think one has a 3 stone 2ct set. It seems the ideal size is 1.5-2cts now.

Then again if someone can afford 35k to spend on a ring then hell GO FOR IT! and post pictures so i can drool!

missD- i think halos are really nice, i wouldn't put it on for the added circumference but more of the BLING factor.. i like shiny..

 

[elizat]

2-3 months salary (after tax right?) is A LOT of money for someone our age (I'm 25). If this was the case, it would mean the bf will be shelling out $10,000-$15,000 there on the spot which at my age is not a wise move esp when who wants to get into debt when starting out a life toether?

I feel bad for men sometimes w/ the issue of wedding jewelry. That is a LOT of money to save up, if they don't finance- and I think financing is a bad decision, unless it is a zero percent interest thing and you know you can pay it off in the time frame. Really, I know I could not come up w/ a spare 15k in the course of 6 months or a year after all the necessary expenses, saving for retirement, etc., which seems to be about when most ppl start deciding to get engaged.