Scarves Love it then leave it ,how do you curate your scarf collection?

[Nomad]

@julian.f thanks so much for sharing! This could have come from my own mouth.
I loved reading your post

 

[julian.f]

Thank you all for reading and your comments and feedback. @tinkerbell68 I couldn't agree more with the "lighter" feeling. This absolution of guilt. No longer being faced with a piece just staring back at you knowing you will not pick it up and you will not wear it and haven't worn it ever or for an extremely long time.

I would say the only advice I have for people wondering whether or not they are ready for this/are "cull curious":

1. You don't have to do it all at once. Maybe start slow with pieces you know won't make you feel uncomfortable letting go. Even a single piece. Then see how you feel, you may be emboldened to continue.

2. Letting go isn't always selling. Sometimes it is gifting to a friend / relative (they usually really appreciate it and you often will get to see your piece being worn). Sometimes it is donating to charity for auction purposes (I saw someone mentioning it in the thread earlier and I love this!).

3. Before you sell, consider if you can do something else with the piece. Example, would you turn it into a pillow or frame it? I have purchased one or two not really to wear but to frame. Another option is to dye it...that's not always a solution but I've managed to transform several scarves through this process into something I do wear more often. If only cashmere could be dyed as easily as silk.

4. If selling, find a platform that makes you feel comfortable. The last thing you need is a major hassle to turn you off the process. Most of mine were sold via Vestiaire Collective. I've not had any bad experiences to date, but I take precautions. They've also made some changes lately that I'm not sure I love but so far so good. And when selling, this is really vital, set a realistic price but one that you can live with. Everyone has an opinion on what the right price is. You'll get lowballers...many will make an attempt, even try bullying (I've been lectured at countless times).The right price is the price for which you are willing to let the piece go and not feel bad about it. Someone else may not pay it. But if the price is in the realm of realism, a new owner / H lover knows. It's up to the buyer to decide what they're willing to spend. But I was very rigid when it came to this. There is always a bit of wiggle room, of course, but many pieces I felt I'd rather hold on to than just sell for a price I'd regret. There is no emergency, you can always wait or try again later.

 

[textilegirl]

Thank you all for reading and your comments and feedback. @tinkerbell68 I couldn't agree more with the "lighter" feeling. This absolution of guilt. No longer being faced with a piece just staring back at you knowing you will not pick it up and you will not wear it and haven't worn it ever or for an extremely long time.

I would say the only advice I have for people wondering whether or not they are ready for this/are "cull curious":

1. You don't have to do it all at once. Maybe start slow with pieces you know won't make you feel uncomfortable letting go. Even a single piece. Then see how you feel, you may be emboldened to continue.

2. Letting go isn't always selling. Sometimes it is gifting to a friend / relative (they usually really appreciate it and you often will get to see your piece being worn). Sometimes it is donating to charity for auction purposes (I saw someone mentioning it in the thread earlier and I love this!).

3. Before you sell, consider if you can do something else with the piece. Example, would you turn it into a pillow or frame it? I have purchased one or two not really to wear but to frame. Another option is to dye it...that's not always a solution but I've managed to transform several scarves through this process into something I do wear more often. If only cashmere could be dyed as easily as silk.

4. If selling, find a platform that makes you feel comfortable. The last thing you need is a major hassle to turn you off the process. Most of mine were sold via Vestiaire Collective. I've not had any bad experiences to date, but I take precautions. They've also made some changes lately that I'm not sure I love but so far so good. And when selling, this is really vital, set a realistic price but one that you can live with. Everyone has an opinion on what the right price is. You'll get lowballers...many will make an attempt, even try bullying (I've been lectured at countless times).The right price is the price for which you are willing to let the piece go and not feel bad about it. Someone else may not pay it. But if the price is in the realm of realism, a new owner / H lover knows. It's up to the buyer to decide what they're willing to spend. But I was very rigid when it came to this. There is always a bit of wiggle room, of course, but many pieces I felt I'd rather hold on to than just sell for a price I'd regret. There is no emergency, you can always wait or try again later.

Wise words here, thanks for sharing!

 

[momasaurus]

Ugh...this is long, sorry, but here goes:

The decision was a gradual process, really part of my overall H journey and, honestly, life journey. I had always worn scarves, they worked well for my daily uniform (think similar to how men wear ties), given my role and industry. It got to a point of me being known for wearing an H scarf pretty much every single day (think Madeleine Albright and her brooches, used to convey a message, feeling, etc.). I think my mania peaked somewhere in 2015/6. Then, in the last 7 years, my life has changed. I no longer work, so my daily uniform is significantly less formal. I started rescuing animals so home is really a loungewear situation (even the more casual clothing pieces stay in the closet as not to be covered in animal hair). My style has also evolved somewhat (this is a normal turn of events for many) but, on top of it all, I've reassessed how I'm living my life. How, as a society, we get frothed up into consuming more than we really need (or even want, for that matter). Example: the feeling of not having anything to wear is also a symptom of having too much choice presented. That said, I have always been a fashion lover so my various collections will remain larger, worn or not. For me...I'll never fully cull it to the capsule or necessities, I couldn't and don't want to. So this "curation" was a steady, long-time-coming, situation. I think the conversation making me realise I had so many scarves but only 1 neck and I could go nearly 6 months without repeating...when I heard myself say that out loud...something inside me made me question myself. I also found myself getting more weary each and every season, fewer pieces were doing it for me - likely because I had so many.

I will say, as an aside, I go through periods (years even) of not really wearing scarves and then hop on that train again. So, I did remind myself of this before I went all out mad and got rid of most of them. The fact that I will remain a collector stands but I was also maxing out my storage space. And, most importantly: as a collector, I love these pieces. I'm also a lover of the house, its heritage, and the artists. I feel I'm not doing these pieces justice by keeping them hidden and them never seeing the light of day. I want them to live, and to be enjoyed. I've never been precious with my collection. For me, each piece deserves to be seen. Maybe similar to rescues, that forever family was not me - I was a temporary caretaker. Someone else could give the piece the life it deserved. And so I set out on my journey.

I really started there...some pieces, as nice as they were, were just not me and, most likely, never were and never will be. Some were never worn. I bought them because I loved the design and felt compelled to buy something. But never did I think how it would fit into my life. So those were easy to pick out, but there are still more of that ilk that need to be culled...I'll get around to them soon enough. Then there were those that I really loved but simply would not reach for because I had something similar that was more suitable, or the CW was off and did nothing for me. I was quite hard on myself there and just convinced myself that they needed to go. There my heart felt heavy: Jaguar Quetzal in the black and gris chine was tough (gris chine - as well as that oatmeal toned natural colour - drained me and just didn't work as much as I loved the design) and I even shed a tear when I sold C'est la Fete (1st edition, men's, grey/black/white which hasn't been touched for over a decade). Such pieces could only remain if they had an emotional component to them: worn on a special occasion, received a gift, etc. I'm also a fan of Dallet, so those I've not been able to part with, exception being Monsieur et Madame (but that's a collab).

Almost every piece that went, I tried on, I looked to see if it sparked anything and it didn't or, if it did, I was honestly questioning myself on whether or not it looked good on me. And off they went. Some were gifted to friends. The majority were sold. Some of the incoming funds were used to fill up the created space with new acquisitions such as a couple Claire de Lunes last season. And so it goes...I need to do another round when I'm up for it and, because of not missing these 30, I have now reached a spot where - as @textilegirl mentions - new acquisitions just have to sing.

It's funny, because despite all the choice I still have, my earliest CSGMs remain the pieces I reach for the most. I laugh at myself for this...or maybe I'm just too lazy and grab what I know works every time. I promised myself, post cull, to do my best to give the remaining scarves more air time. And likely will need to cull a few more out of my collection now that I realise it really wasn't too bad/too hard on me. I must say I am particularly happy when a buyer sends me a note saying how much they love their new piece and how happy they are wearing it. It underscores that I'm making the right decision.

Edit: sometimes I even see one of my sold scarves pop up here, presented by their new owner. It's usually because they use the same handle here as on the site where they purchased it from, so I know it is them. Seeing it living out there in the world sparks as much joy as the original acquisition. It's living its best life.

Everything you are saying is SPOT ON for me. I haven't been on tPF lately at all because of all this. Thanks for your clarity and resolve!

 

[paula24jen]

Everything you are saying is SPOT ON for me. I haven't been on tPF lately at all because of all this. Thanks for your clarity and resolve!

Nice to see you here Moma, if only fleetingly!

 

[lyseiki8]

Ugh...this is long, sorry, but here goes:

The decision was a gradual process, really part of my overall H journey and, honestly, life journey. I had always worn scarves, they worked well for my daily uniform (think similar to how men wear ties), given my role and industry. It got to a point of me being known for wearing an H scarf pretty much every single day (think Madeleine Albright and her brooches, used to convey a message, feeling, etc.). I think my mania peaked somewhere in 2015/6. Then, in the last 7 years, my life has changed. I no longer work, so my daily uniform is significantly less formal. I started rescuing animals so home is really a loungewear situation (even the more casual clothing pieces stay in the closet as not to be covered in animal hair). My style has also evolved somewhat (this is a normal turn of events for many) but, on top of it all, I've reassessed how I'm living my life. How, as a society, we get frothed up into consuming more than we really need (or even want, for that matter). Example: the feeling of not having anything to wear is also a symptom of having too much choice presented. That said, I have always been a fashion lover so my various collections will remain larger, worn or not. For me...I'll never fully cull it to the capsule or necessities, I couldn't and don't want to. So this "curation" was a steady, long-time-coming, situation. I think the conversation making me realise I had so many scarves but only 1 neck and I could go nearly 6 months without repeating...when I heard myself say that out loud...something inside me made me question myself. I also found myself getting more weary each and every season, fewer pieces were doing it for me - likely because I had so many.

I will say, as an aside, I go through periods (years even) of not really wearing scarves and then hop on that train again. So, I did remind myself of this before I went all out mad and got rid of most of them. The fact that I will remain a collector stands but I was also maxing out my storage space. And, most importantly: as a collector, I love these pieces. I'm also a lover of the house, its heritage, and the artists. I feel I'm not doing these pieces justice by keeping them hidden and them never seeing the light of day. I want them to live, and to be enjoyed. I've never been precious with my collection. For me, each piece deserves to be seen. Maybe similar to rescues, that forever family was not me - I was a temporary caretaker. Someone else could give the piece the life it deserved. And so I set out on my journey.

I really started there...some pieces, as nice as they were, were just not me and, most likely, never were and never will be. Some were never worn. I bought them because I loved the design and felt compelled to buy something. But never did I think how it would fit into my life. So those were easy to pick out, but there are still more of that ilk that need to be culled...I'll get around to them soon enough. Then there were those that I really loved but simply would not reach for because I had something similar that was more suitable, or the CW was off and did nothing for me. I was quite hard on myself there and just convinced myself that they needed to go. There my heart felt heavy: Jaguar Quetzal in the black and gris chine was tough (gris chine - as well as that oatmeal toned natural colour - drained me and just didn't work as much as I loved the design) and I even shed a tear when I sold C'est la Fete (1st edition, men's, grey/black/white which hasn't been touched for over a decade). Such pieces could only remain if they had an emotional component to them: worn on a special occasion, received a gift, etc. I'm also a fan of Dallet, so those I've not been able to part with, exception being Monsieur et Madame (but that's a collab).

Almost every piece that went, I tried on, I looked to see if it sparked anything and it didn't or, if it did, I was honestly questioning myself on whether or not it looked good on me. And off they went. Some were gifted to friends. The majority were sold. Some of the incoming funds were used to fill up the created space with new acquisitions such as a couple Claire de Lunes last season. And so it goes...I need to do another round when I'm up for it and, because of not missing these 30, I have now reached a spot where - as @textilegirl mentions - new acquisitions just have to sing.

It's funny, because despite all the choice I still have, my earliest CSGMs remain the pieces I reach for the most. I laugh at myself for this...or maybe I'm just too lazy and grab what I know works every time. I promised myself, post cull, to do my best to give the remaining scarves more air time. And likely will need to cull a few more out of my collection now that I realise it really wasn't too bad/too hard on me. I must say I am particularly happy when a buyer sends me a note saying how much they love their new piece and how happy they are wearing it. It underscores that I'm making the right decision.

Edit: sometimes I even see one of my sold scarves pop up here, presented by their new owner. It's usually because they use the same handle here as on the site where they purchased it from, so I know it is them. Seeing it living out there in the world sparks as much joy as the original acquisition. It's living its best life.

Hi Julian.f,

Thank you for the honest sharing and happy that you were able to find new homes for your silks.

My situation is a little different as DH is no longer able to simply "get up and fly to our other homes" due to poor health. In the past (pre-covid), I would have duplicates of certain scarves or many of the same designs in three locations but after I moved everything back this year - I have one too many even though I still wear the silks !!
Pretty soon I will have to rethink the alternative versus ebay as the recent attempt has yielded zero inquiry. What I did was I allowed my neice a free hand in doing everything [photos + pricing] for me but soon she will have to stop as her husband's job requires them to move to Texas.

 

[eliwon]

Ugh...this is long, sorry, but here goes:

The decision was a gradual process, really part of my overall H journey and, honestly, life journey. I had always worn scarves, they worked well for my daily uniform (think similar to how men wear ties), given my role and industry. It got to a point of me being known for wearing an H scarf pretty much every single day (think Madeleine Albright and her brooches, used to convey a message, feeling, etc.). I think my mania peaked somewhere in 2015/6. Then, in the last 7 years, my life has changed. I no longer work, so my daily uniform is significantly less formal. I started rescuing animals so home is really a loungewear situation (even the more casual clothing pieces stay in the closet as not to be covered in animal hair). My style has also evolved somewhat (this is a normal turn of events for many) but, on top of it all, I've reassessed how I'm living my life. How, as a society, we get frothed up into consuming more than we really need (or even want, for that matter). Example: the feeling of not having anything to wear is also a symptom of having too much choice presented. That said, I have always been a fashion lover so my various collections will remain larger, worn or not. For me...I'll never fully cull it to the capsule or necessities, I couldn't and don't want to. So this "curation" was a steady, long-time-coming, situation. I think the conversation making me realise I had so many scarves but only 1 neck and I could go nearly 6 months without repeating...when I heard myself say that out loud...something inside me made me question myself. I also found myself getting more weary each and every season, fewer pieces were doing it for me - likely because I had so many.

I will say, as an aside, I go through periods (years even) of not really wearing scarves and then hop on that train again. So, I did remind myself of this before I went all out mad and got rid of most of them. The fact that I will remain a collector stands but I was also maxing out my storage space. And, most importantly: as a collector, I love these pieces. I'm also a lover of the house, its heritage, and the artists. I feel I'm not doing these pieces justice by keeping them hidden and them never seeing the light of day. I want them to live, and to be enjoyed. I've never been precious with my collection. For me, each piece deserves to be seen. Maybe similar to rescues, that forever family was not me - I was a temporary caretaker. Someone else could give the piece the life it deserved. And so I set out on my journey.

I really started there...some pieces, as nice as they were, were just not me and, most likely, never were and never will be. Some were never worn. I bought them because I loved the design and felt compelled to buy something. But never did I think how it would fit into my life. So those were easy to pick out, but there are still more of that ilk that need to be culled...I'll get around to them soon enough. Then there were those that I really loved but simply would not reach for because I had something similar that was more suitable, or the CW was off and did nothing for me. I was quite hard on myself there and just convinced myself that they needed to go. There my heart felt heavy: Jaguar Quetzal in the black and gris chine was tough (gris chine - as well as that oatmeal toned natural colour - drained me and just didn't work as much as I loved the design) and I even shed a tear when I sold C'est la Fete (1st edition, men's, grey/black/white which hasn't been touched for over a decade). Such pieces could only remain if they had an emotional component to them: worn on a special occasion, received a gift, etc. I'm also a fan of Dallet, so those I've not been able to part with, exception being Monsieur et Madame (but that's a collab).

Almost every piece that went, I tried on, I looked to see if it sparked anything and it didn't or, if it did, I was honestly questioning myself on whether or not it looked good on me. And off they went. Some were gifted to friends. The majority were sold. Some of the incoming funds were used to fill up the created space with new acquisitions such as a couple Claire de Lunes last season. And so it goes...I need to do another round when I'm up for it and, because of not missing these 30, I have now reached a spot where - as @textilegirl mentions - new acquisitions just have to sing.

It's funny, because despite all the choice I still have, my earliest CSGMs remain the pieces I reach for the most. I laugh at myself for this...or maybe I'm just too lazy and grab what I know works every time. I promised myself, post cull, to do my best to give the remaining scarves more air time. And likely will need to cull a few more out of my collection now that I realise it really wasn't too bad/too hard on me. I must say I am particularly happy when a buyer sends me a note saying how much they love their new piece and how happy they are wearing it. It underscores that I'm making the right decision.

Edit: sometimes I even see one of my sold scarves pop up here, presented by their new owner. It's usually because they use the same handle here as on the site where they purchased it from, so I know it is them. Seeing it living out there in the world sparks as much joy as the original acquisition. It's living its best life.

Great musings - and actions! I’ve sold off some scarves with our most renowned auction house - post working, so the scarf need sharply diminished. Still a few I missed out on when issued are on a pie in the sky list though, but the excitement with new collections has abated. Maybe at this point seen so many that it takes a lot to get the heart racing? But, lovely when the scarves live on with someone appreciating them!

 

[julian.f]

Hi Julian.f,

Thank you for the honest sharing and happy that you were able to find new homes for your silks.

My situation is a little different as DH is no longer able to simply "get up and fly to our other homes" due to poor health. In the past (pre-covid), I would have duplicates of certain scarves or many of the same designs in three locations but after I moved everything back this year - I have one too many even though I still wear the silks !!
Pretty soon I will have to rethink the alternative versus ebay as the recent attempt has yielded zero inquiry. What I did was I allowed my neice a free hand in doing everything [photos + pricing] for me but soon she will have to stop as her husband's job requires them to move to Texas.

Sorry to hear re: DH's poor health. I am very familiar with the consequences of readjusting one's life due to such circumstances, and it is a tough situation to be in. Makes us all appreciate how valuable health really is - once it is gone, one really understands what this means!

Ebay has never been a really good platform for me, so possibly reassessing isn't a bad idea. Maybe Vestiaire or even a consignment site like It's All Goode (https://www.vintage-hermes-scarf.com/), the latter takes 35% (I believe) so consignment usually ends up netting you less.

Another option for those duplicates if you love them, besides turning them into pillows or reworking them into other items a/o gifting them, is possibly wearing some as doubles. I don't know if you have scarf rings but this can be done w/o one. If you tie/connect two of the same scarves once both are bias folded, you will basically have a giant bias folded twill to work with. It is a lot of silk so this is likely only for 90s or smaller, but maybe it could be a way to use your current collection of doubles a/o triples?

 

[lyseiki8]

Sorry to hear re: DH's poor health. I am very familiar with the consequences of readjusting one's life due to such circumstances, and it is a tough situation to be in. Makes us all appreciate how valuable health really is - once it is gone, one really understands what this means!

Ebay has never been a really good platform for me, so possibly reassessing isn't a bad idea. Maybe Vestiaire or even a consignment site like It's All Goode (https://www.vintage-hermes-scarf.com/), the latter takes 35% (I believe) so consignment usually ends up netting you less.

Another option for those duplicates if you love them, besides turning them into pillows or reworking them into other items a/o gifting them, is possibly wearing some as doubles. I don't know if you have scarf rings but this can be done w/o one. If you tie/connect two of the same scarves once both are bias folded, you will basically have a giant bias folded twill to work with. It is a lot of silk so this is likely only for 90s or smaller, but maybe it could be a way to use your current collection of doubles a/o triples?

Hi,
Again 'home-front-situation' took me away from my computer(purseforum). Thank you for all the good suggestions but have to abandon my rehome project as 1) the bay yielded zero even though the prices were reasonable 2) Started on Vestiaire but did not go long enough as my neice could not helped me any longer.
So far I had resorted to gifting or even framed some as home gifts Wearing them as duplicates/triplicates is one idea I will try now. A friend of mine who is on some school boards had also promised to put me in touch with non-profits to donate my scarves. I shall see .. meanwhile I will remind myself to wear a silk on the rare moments when I venture out of the house.
Again, THANK you for giving me your time !!

 

[lyseiki8]

Great musings - and actions! I’ve sold off some scarves with our most renowned auction house - post working, so the scarf need sharply diminished. Still a few I missed out on when issued are on a pie in the sky list though, but the excitement with new collections has abated. Maybe at this point seen so many that it takes a lot to get the heart racing? But, lovely when the scarves live on with someone appreciating them!

Hi eliwon,

May I know how do you sell via " our most renowned auction house" ? I imagine they are looking for grails which are in pristine condition?

 

[Snausages]

Hi,
Again 'home-front-situation' took me away from my computer(purseforum). Thank you for all the good suggestions but have to abandon my rehome project as 1) the bay yielded zero even though the prices were reasonable 2) Started on Vestiaire but did not go long enough as my neice could not helped me any longer.
So far I had resorted to gifting or even framed some as home gifts Wearing them as duplicates/triplicates is one idea I will try now. A friend of mine who is on some school boards had also promised to put me in touch with non-profits to donate my scarves. I shall see .. meanwhile I will remind myself to wear a silk on the rare moments when I venture out of the house.
Again, THANK you for giving me your time !!

I’m so sorry to hear home front challenges and compounding annoyances. Evilbay has become so problematic with an over abundance of fakes and Japanese resellers clogging the algorithms. Have you tried the Facebook buy sell group?

FB group

 

[lyseiki8]

I’m so sorry to hear home front challenges and compounding annoyances. Evilbay has become so problematic with an over abundance of fakes and Japanese resellers clogging the algorithms. Have you tried the Facebook buy sell group?

FB group

Hi,
I am not tech-savvy enough and I wonder about selling anything on social media like Facebook. Have you and what is your experience or TIPS? Thank you!

 

[lyseiki8]

OOPssss .. I failed to see the link you have included in your message. Much appreciated Snausages. ☺️

 

[Snausages]

OOPssss .. I failed to see the link you have included in your message. Much appreciated Snausages. ☺️

Like any other forum there’s never a guarantee a buyer won’t be wackadoo. I have to remind myself that most people are good! It’s always a good idea to ask for buyer references, and for buyers to ask for seller references. One of the admins, Amy, is active on tPF and does a lot of rehoming there (I know her real name and her eBay handle but for the life of me I’m blanking on her tPF name!)

 

[frou frou]

It’s been a while , I can’t even remember how to quote , but just reading Julian F’s post made me think about my very similar relationship to the scarves.
I’m into a more slouchy androgynous aesthetic and feel guilty that I don’t reach for the scarves or shawls, with just a couple of exceptions. Ideally I’d like to keep just two or three 90cm and about five CSGMs .
Same goes for the bags ….