Looking at engagement rings... we know nothing. Any advice?

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#16
Wow thank you so so much for replies!! What I get from this is this might be a much longer process than I originally thought. Actually I was beginning to realize that after visiting the last jeweler we went to but now I'm really seeing it. Only 3 or 4 were even a little like what I'd want. And I still don't know!
Does anyone know how long you or other people take to find the perfect ring? Does it take months? I was hoping to find it by mid October.
I don't want to upgrade, I don't think I could say goodbye or replace my rings. And makes me paranoid because in that case I want to make 110% sure I love it!
My boyfriend is going to decide from what I figure out I like and hope I won't be misleading by not being totally sure.
You guys were so helpful, thank you again!!
 
#17
ame said:
very true.
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I want to third this.
The information on Pricescope is second to none and you should definitely go there and read their educational material.
You can also ask questions but be aware that they have 3 or 4 favorite vendors that they will steer you towards and they can get VERY strong. The vendors that they steer you towards are all reputable but maybe not right for you. They can also be pricey.
But on the other hand, the vendors may be right for you. Make up your own mind, that's all.
About the certs--GIA cert is great, AGS is probably even better (they actually grade harder than GIA). EGL-USA grades a little softer than the two listed above but is also reputable (you should pay a little less though). ELG from out of the country is not good, especially not EGL Israel. The other certs are basically worth nothing.
 
#18
It's like a wedding dress, you'll KNOW when you try it on!
If you really find what you want then you can scour the internet looking for a more reasonable deal. What I did was figure out EXACTLY what I wanted, then I found it online, from Whiteflash actually. I went to my local jeweler and told them what I found and if they wanted my biz they had to meet/beat it.
I came out of it w/ a bigger stone for the exact same amount :D
Same specs otherwise, but a full half carat larger.
 
#19
Adore said:
Does anyone know how long you or other people take to find the perfect ring? Does it take months? I was hoping to find it by mid October.
I don't want to upgrade, I don't think I could say goodbye or replace my rings. And makes me paranoid because in that case I want to make 110% sure I love it!
My boyfriend is going to decide from what I figure out I like and hope I won't be misleading by not being totally sure.
You guys were so helpful, thank you again!!
Click to expand...

It took us months and I was insane during that period of time. I really thought that my FI was stalling because he didn't want to marry me. Like, I couldn't believe how much time it was taking us (but he also was a busy law student at the time in his last semester, so he tried to make it to the stores as he could).

We don't believe in upgrades (*but additions), so we knew the 3-stone style was perfect for us since it will stack with bands nicely on my left hand and is a style I'm confident I can wear everyday since it's more like a "band." After many anniversaries, I still want a giant solitaire for my right hand. :nuts:
 
#20
black jade said:
I want to third this.
The information on Pricescope is second to none and you should definitely go there and read their educational material.
You can also ask questions but be aware that they have 3 or 4 favorite vendors that they will steer you towards and they can get VERY strong. The vendors that they steer you towards are all reputable but maybe not right for you. They can also be pricey.
But on the other hand, the vendors may be right for you. Make up your own mind, that's all.
About the certs--GIA cert is great, AGS is probably even better (they actually grade harder than GIA). EGL-USA grades a little softer than the two listed above but is also reputable (you should pay a little less though). ELG from out of the country is not good, especially not EGL Israel. The other certs are basically worth nothing.
Click to expand...

I have had GREAT experiences with GoodOldGold.com and FacetsCollection.com and IDJewelry.com, but whiteflash was probably the worst experience of my life. Ulcers, stress, legal issues...and yet Whiteflash is still the most (over)hyped vendor on there.

When I had to replace my e-ring last year after it was stolen, I really wanted to replace it immediately and thought for sure I could...It took me a few months, and ultimately I went to the vendor in NYC (goodoldgold) to see more in person before deciding. I don't have an issue with upgrading, esp now that my original is gone, but I don't think Ill be doing so for a while. I know DH and I planned on a monster 3-stone at around 20-25 years using my solitaire as a sidestone (well, assuming I haven't upgraded that by then...which Im sure I will) so I have planned for that to occur.

Just use Pricescope to learn how to identify a great stone, and to use the tools. I have an EGL-USA stone in my e-ring, and I did in my original E-ring as well. They aren't all bad. In fact, they are probably stricter in clarity grading than GIA/AGS than they may be in color. All three major labs definitely have their strong suits. GIA=color, AGS=cut quality, EGL-USA=clarity. You just have to decide what is important to you.

If nothing else select your perfect diamond, and it might take a long while to find that, and have it put in a temporary solitaire. Then you can figure out the setting later.
 
#21
I agree with the others who recommend going to pricescope.com and reading up on diamonds. I thought I knew a lot about diamonds until I started reading that site. Like others have said, CUT IS KING. It's the most important factor when selecting a diamond.
 
#22
Adore said:
Does anyone know how long you or other people take to find the perfect ring? Does it take months? I was hoping to find it by mid October.
I don't want to upgrade, I don't think I could say goodbye or replace my rings. And makes me paranoid because in that case I want to make 110% sure I love it!
Click to expand...
Dear Adore,
facts and figures is the one thing.
The other thing is the feeling you - or your boyfriend - have while looking at the ring.

I once had a ring with good specs but no fire. So I found out fire is the thing I need. Not VVS1.
Cut Cut Cut Cut and once more Cut is what matters to me.
The funny thing is: when buying for example at a pawn shop you won't have the chance to get a certificate on the cut if it is not available first hand. But by time you can trust your feelings and your eyes. You will SEE the difference, as soon as you see an excellent cut, next to a "good" cut.

Go and visit places and look for rings that make you happy and excited when you see them. Your boyfriend will learn quickly what the difference makes.
Sorry, I did not find the time yet to read through the whole thread, so I don't know if you have a Tiffany's store nearby. I would check them out for sure since they provide excellent cut stones.

Yesterday evening I saw a pair of studs and did not hesitate to urge my father to come TODAY as SOON AS HE CAN to get them for my mum. She loves them.
I am sure, your boyfriend will be at this level soon.
Maybe he should participate here, too?

And most important: enjoy the process, make it a fun-project, not a burden!
 
#23
Go on BLUENILE.com - it's a pretty comprehensive website. You can just look at that site to get idea of prices and what you can get out of your budget when you select certain specs. Pretty much all their diamonds have a GIA or AGS certificate (PDF), so you can see what that paper looks like as well. Hubby got my stone here, and they have a return policy too - I LOVE my stone. You don't have to buy it here, it's just their diamond search tools are quite educational for a newbie.

I would go to one of those chain jewelry stores (and Tiffany's if you have one close by - just for fun!) and try some setting styles on. However, don't jump to purchase anything here (especially chain store 'mall' stores) because the prices are often very very high for the quality. What looks good in pictures might not look good on your finger - so best to see what's out there.

Look for stones with certification, GIA or AGS. CUT IS KING!!!!!!

Set a budget once you know what size stone looks good on you. Set aside some money for the setting once you know how much you want to spend. Some people spend thousands on settings, but those thousands can really UP your diamond size!

If you have an opportunity, see a stone in person if possible - sometimes what looks good on paper might not make your heart sing. You might see on paper that a stone is an "J" color and think...'hmmm might be kinda yellow/warm?' but when you see it in real life, you might go WOW this is the ONE FOR ME!

Pick a setting you see yourself wearing for a long time. Don't go for fad/trend settings or you may be itching for a setting change too soon. Also sometimes, fad settings clash with wedding rings. So think of the wedding ring when when making a purchase. There should be some harmony between the two.

Do your research on the jeweler if you're custom making anything. If you're custom making a ring, adding things here and there and pretty much designing it yourself. Don't skimp on your jeweler. You really get what you pay for here. A teeny TEENY bit of crooked-ness will haunt you forever if you're detail oriented.

Got to pricescope.com - however it can be overwhelming for a newbie but they have a lot of pictures so you can browse around until you find some stones and then you can ask them for their opinions.
 
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#24
I definitely agree with MissD on looking at Bluenile.com because they have great information that is specific for each diamond shape, not just diamonds in general. I learned a lot from their website.
 
#25
I know one thing...if its my engagement ring, i would like to wear it for ever and ever so i will choose a ring which is easy and comfortable to wear.
Personally i love rings with some writing or symbol engraved on it like this:
its beautiful with some message engraved on back of the ring from your lover :)
its sweeet
 

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#26
The ladies here have given very sound advice.

I actually didn't know much about diamonds until DF and I were ready to shop for one. It was a learning experience. What I did first was try settings. I went out on my own to various jewelers to see what's out there.

Funny that the ones that I saw online that I thought was totally ME was not. The jeweler had me try a setting and as soon as it was on my finger, I knew it was it. I didn't decide right then and there. I let the idea sit for a week then went back to try it again to see if I really wanted it.

Total time process was 2 weeks. DF knew how much he wanted to spend and the Cs. So once that was decided, we shopped around. He doesn't believe in upgrading so he selected something that was perfect for my finger with the hopes that I don't want "bigger" down the line.

A lovely tpfer recommended her jeweler to me and he was fab to work with.

gluck! :)
 
#27
Thanks again for advice!
I would like to as you guys this other question:

Is there any way to just to into a jewelry store and look and if I see nothing I like I can just leave without a sales associate sinking their claws into us and making us stay an hour?

Because we did this last night, went to a fairly large jeweler and all sales associates were busy so we got the chance to just look through the glass. I saw nothing I liked pretty easily, nothing that jumped out at me. Then as we were leaving a sales person introduced themselves to us and asked what we were looking for. We told them and then they took us aside, and it was like aghhhh we were just leaving! I said we were looking but didn't see much so we might come back.

We were there for an entire hour after that and the guy kept trying to find what I described and they just plain didn't have it, as we saw ourselves already.
Then they showed me a particular band and the diamonds were so much prettier and that somehow became the ring I wanted to get! I didn't even like it. Then they're taking out diamonds and showing us and it's like auuughhh I don't like them. Shouldn't have opened my mouth.

I was thinking we should just say next time "oh we're looking for engagement rings but only have about 10 minutes, just looking at styles," but would that be enough? We can't keep spending an hour at every store, I'd rather look myself with him and take it from there.
I can imagine some places have settings that they don't have out under the glass, right? These stores so far have everything they have already out.

I've seen a few styles online I'm curious to try on but if I don't see them I don't want to sit there and study rings I don't like for an hour. This happened at each store but up until now we have realized we still just want to come in and look and if we ourselves see something we'll ask someone.
What's the best way to avoid them tying us down?
 
#30
If I could go back in time and do the engagement ring shopping all over again I would go for a setting with a very low profile. DH picked out my ring, after all he was paying, although I was along and agreed to it. He picked a classic Tiffany-style setting with tall white gold prongs of about 1/4" high. When we hold hands it jabs him in the fingers and after all these years he still grumps about having selected it.

I do a lot of things with my hands--gardening, furniture refinishing, general life--and I don't always remember to take my ring off. The diamond in the high prongs often gets in the way. I once bent the prongs and had to have it repaired. I would prefer to have a diamond that doesn't get in the way, that I don't need to remove from my finger so often.

Don't think you need a honking big diamond. Some of the most elegant (and practical) rings have very small stones of high quality. I have only 1/5 of a caret and that's really enough for me.

In general we wish we had given more thought to buying our wedding bands. We bought thin, plain bands and both DH and I have on occasion needed our bands repaired after they were gouged or bent. We wished we hadn't cheaped out and had bought heavier, more substantial bands.

We went to a jewelry who was recommended by friends. I think it's a good idea to get recommendations. Ideally you want an independent jeweler with a good local reputation and years in business. Things do go wrong with rings. They break, they crack. Stuff happens. It's good to have someone who stands behind the merchandise they sell and won't rip you off.

Good luck!
 
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