Is upgrading your e-ring common?

[dlg]

My DH asked me two years ago (for our 10th anniversary) if I would like to upgrade my ring. At that time I told him no. I love my ring and the band made just for my ring. It has incredible sentimental value to me. A few weeks ago I noticed that I have broken my ring. It has a crack half way across the center (it is a marquise cut, the crack is horizontally across the widest part). I never knew you could break a diamond, but I have learned that you can break any stone if you hit it hard enough in the right spot. I've always smiled when I look at my ring because the day he proposed was so wonderful, so special. I know he spent a lot of time picking out the stone and planning the surprise. I'm actually teary as I write this. I've been looking at new stones, but I'm just having a hard time replacing it. I'm so mad at myself. I have broken many things (including bones!), but I'm the most upset over breaking my ring. So Lola24, I'm with you on the sentimental thing.

 

[Eugin]

Yep, and everyone is totally entitled to their opinion, there is no right or wrong answer, it's what feels right to you. I would never give up my ring regardless, and if one day my husband wants to give me another diamond solitare type ring I would never consider it my engagement ring.

I agree, I wouldn't call another solitaire stone my "engagement" ring either. I guess I would feel like I wasn't being completely truthful if someone asked if an upgraded stone was the "engagement" ring. The original one would always hold a lot of sentimental value for me.

 

[gillianna]

I don't consider buying a new ring upgrading.....I have been married 28 years and have picked out a few new rings as the years passed by. My taste has changed and hubby has let me pick out new rings for special occassions, like the birth of our children, our 25th anniversary. My last ring was a Tacori platinum setting with tiny diamonds in the front and back of the band, it stands up high and I had them set the middle with a beautiful blue sapphire *just over a carat), it is a perfect size. I am not a fan of big rings and feel they are too out there for me so I never wear my big stone rings. My Tacori ring is the ring I love the best. I have a Tacori platinum wedding band that is very delicate looking that is also a favorite. Some of my friends are horrified that I don't wear my original wedding rings and other friend have reset or bought new rings in different style stones, bands and I think it is great to be able to do something different if you want to. I got a nice ring from my Mom with about 10 diamonds in it that is so not me and I would love to get the stones made in to a simple band ring. Then I would wear it. I seem to prefer colored stones versus diamonds.

 

[dallas]

I think "upgrading" isn't the norm, but many people are doing it nowadays. Personally, I would never upgrade. My e-ring is symbolic of our engagement and it's gorgeous and exactly what I wanted. It's too meaningful for me to "upgrade" for a bigger stone. Also, I wouldn't want anything larger. I know it would really hurt my husband's feelings if I were to ask for something different, as he put so much time, effort, and money into making me the perfect ring, and I already love it so much. The one thing I'm considering is getting another band to accompany the one I already have. I love my wedding band, but I think the ring would look even more beautiful sandwiched between two bands. So instead of an "upgrade," I think he'll buy me another band in the future.

It's all personal choice...for many, their e-ring holds a significance apart from their marriage. For me, it's intrinsically tied-into our marriage, because we spent so much time picking it out.

Instead of upgrades, we've discussed diamond stud earrings, or a diamond necklace. But I will never give up my e-ring.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I feel exactly the same way about my e ring.

 

[Lola24]

My DH asked me two years ago (for our 10th anniversary) if I would like to upgrade my ring. At that time I told him no. I love my ring and the band made just for my ring. It has incredible sentimental value to me. A few weeks ago I noticed that I have broken my ring. It has a crack half way across the center (it is a marquise cut, the crack is horizontally across the widest part). I never knew you could break a diamond, but I have learned that you can break any stone if you hit it hard enough in the right spot. I've always smiled when I look at my ring because the day he proposed was so wonderful, so special. I know he spent a lot of time picking out the stone and planning the surprise. I'm actually teary as I write this. I've been looking at new stones, but I'm just having a hard time replacing it. I'm so mad at myself. I have broken many things (including bones!), but I'm the most upset over breaking my ring. So Lola24, I'm with you on the sentimental thing.

Oh, I'm sooooo sorry about your diamond, I know two people (who ironically had marquise stones) that hit the stone and cracked it.......I guess this is a sad exception to replacing an e-ring, I know my cousin did make the stone into a necklace at least and then replaced the diamond in her e-ring, don't know if your damage is too much to do that but if it you can at least you can keep your original stone close to your heart......

 

[KatsBags]

When he proposed, my husband knew I wanted a Marquis cut stone but wanted me to pick out the setting. So, he purchased the ring as a solitaire. The plan was always for me to choose a setting that I loved. Well, as they say, life happens and I never really got around to it. I wore the solitaire with my wedding band. For our tenth anniversary, we decided to get the setting I wanted. I would never replace the diamond as he was very proud of the research he did to be able to buy a nearly flawless stone. Like others have said, it is symbolic of everything about our relationship. The new setting is the original diamond with two smaller round diamonds on either side of it and two baguettes going down each side.

I don't see it as an upgrade so much because I have the original diamond. It's more of a "belated" setting...if that makes sense?

 

[ilzabet]

i've had three rings so far and plan to upgrade at least once more. we were very young when we got engaged. it just wasn't feasible at the time to buy a "forever" ring without putting it on credit, which we weren't (and still aren't) willing to do. i'd probably feel differently if we'd had more money to spend and i'd let him have a little more input....but when you're working in the way less than $1K range you kind of have to be picky KWIM?

so i guess at this point i'm just not very sentimental about my wedding jewelry...he only suprised me with the first one (which was always meant as a "placeholder" until i found one i liked) and never really put much effort into the jewelry aspect besides setting down some cash. to me, that's not really something to be sentimental over. i still have them both though and probably won't change them. hmmmm. maybe i am sentimental afterall....

 

[mangowife]

A little OT, but I "upgraded" my mom's engagement ring because the original setting was sooo high, she never ever wore it. I thought that was such a waste, and especially since my dad passed away a few years ago, I really wanted her to be able to wear her diamond. So I brought my mom to a jeweler and she choose a new wide, pave, low setting. I don't think she had ever considered getting a new setting! She wears it everyday now, which means so much to me! She gets tons of compliments, too. Also, she never knew the specs on her stone, so we also go that loosely appraised at that time.

 

[tiny cat]

I'm not engaged yet, but my mother has gotten new (and larger) diamond rings throughout her 30 year marriage to my father. It was never spoken about as a replacement or "upgrade" to the first ring, merely an additional diamong ring for her collection. She wears her original wedding set on her left hand and one on her right hand, which she changes around, depending on her mood I guess.

My parents do the exact same thing. My parents got engaged when they were really poor teenagers so the engagement ring was ONE POINT! That's right, 0.01 carat. But as the years have gone by and they've done well for themselves, my dad has given my mom bigger and bigger diamonds, from a 0.5 carat solitaire for their 10th anniversary (which she recently gave to me!) to a 3.5 CTW stunner for her last birthday.

My own engagement ring is small but beautiful and if I do get a larger diamond in the future, it won't be an "upgrade" as far as I'm concerned, it'll just be another ring. My engagement ring is my engagement ring. But that's just my own psychological semantics!

 

[ashlend]

There will never be another engagement ring for me besides the one that my husband proposed with. The ring was a huge part of our proposal story (we went shopping to look at ring styles while on vacation, and at the time he wasn't planning to propose for another couple of months... but I fell in love with a particular ring, and, knowing he wouldn't be able to find the same one back home, he bought it on the sly and surprised me with it that very night.)

That ring to me is a reminder of how much my husband loves me, and how important it was to him for me to have just what I wanted. It would be a massive slap in the face to him if I ever asked for anything different.

 

[kzengineer]

I have a new setting. We were in college when he proposed and he spent what money he had on the diamond rather than the setting. The diamond is only a 1/3 carat, but the setting was a 1mm band. After 5 years the underside cracked and it was wearing thin. We replaced it last year with a setting with about .4 carats more added to the sides. I still have the center diamond though. I think that this will be it, I don't plan on getting a bigger diamond.

 

[esiders]

Where I live, "upgrade" means you trade in your original e-ring for a bigger/better one. And the women I know who do upgrades, do it because someone in their circle has a fabulous ring that they wish their husband's got for them. My sister gets that a lot...women will drag my sister over to their husband, shove her ring in their face and proclaim "THIS is the ring I want as an upgrade" (it's a 2.2 carat princess cut in platinum).

 

[Japster]

It's quite common, though most of my local customers only upgrade after 5+ years or more together. I just made a lovely 6 carat emerald cut ring for a client for a 12 year anniv.

 

[Faith]

I don't really agree with or understand the "upgrading" of an engagement ring....Why would I want to replace my original engagement ring, the one that I was married with, the one that holds the sentiment and closure of the engagement to marriage process??? That ring in my opinion should always stay with the marriage. If in years to come one wants a larger diamond or different ring I don't see anything wrong with an additional ring worn on a different finger but to call it your engagement ring just doesn't seem right and seems almost cold and superficial rather than the symbol which it was originally intended as. I don't mean to offend anyone, this is just my honest opinion.

Lola I agree with you wholeheartedly. Everyone is different and has different opinions about this, but I could never part with mine. It means too much to me.

 

[LV Rawks]

I had to reset my original engagement diamond because the original setting was damaged, but I could never part with the stone. My husband picked it out all by himself (with a little help from my MIL who passed away) so it has far too much sentimental value for me to ever replace it with another. I have gotten other rings for anniversaries, birthdays, etc...but I only have one engagement ring.