Budget. We both work, but I buy my own stuff. If I want a bag, I’ll save X amount from each check. Give myself a deadline. Work some overtime
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It seems I am the odd one out in this thread. My husband works, I homeschool our children. We discuss large purchases before spending and that's that. I do all of the budgeting and accounting for our family, so I am usually the one who worries more about allotting money to the correct places. My husband has no issues with my shopping at Hermes, but if he did I suppose we would discuss it and try to figure out a compromise. We've known each other for so long that we have become sort of homogenized and have the same view of our finances, and what is worth spending for and what isn't.