Divorced or soon will be divorced ....

[loogirl]

I had mine made into a necklace. But after I remarried, my DH commented every time I started to wear it that "I guess I don't buy you enough jewelry... you're wearing that"! So last week, after 13 years, off to auction it went! Successfully! And now I will buy myself something that doesn't have ties to my first marriage. Just my experience...

How does he know it was your original engagement diamond. I don't tell my husband the details of all my jewerly. I am not divorced, but I have items that were gifts from family or that I purchased myself over the years - he has no idea what came from where and would never even ask.

It seems a bit overbearing to me that a man would be that invested in my jewerly box.

 

[meazar]

How does he know it was your original engagement diamond. I don't tell my husband the details of all my jewerly. I am not divorced, but I have items that were gifts from family or that I purchased myself over the years - he has no idea what came from where and would never even ask.

It seems a bit overbearing to me that a man would be that invested in my jewerly box.

No secrets here- and he is BEYOND generous with jewelry gifts. “Overbearing” seems like an aggressive word...imho...

 

[Viaggiare]

I gave my ering back to my ex. Just didn’t seem right to do anything else and there was no way I could ever wear it with the meaning of it wrapped up in a past relationship. It was a symbol of a past relationship and
I had moved on. It was liberating to give it back. If we had had a daughter it would have gone to her eventually.

 

[lynne_ross]

Interesting question. I hope to not be in this situation, but I think I would give my ring to my daughter (eldest child and only girl) to do whatever she wants with it. I think she would cherish it more than I would at that point. I don't think I could wear it again due to what it represents.

 

[NLVOEWITHLV]

How does he know it was your original engagement diamond. I don't tell my husband the details of all my jewerly. I am not divorced, but I have items that were gifts from family or that I purchased myself over the years - he has no idea what came from where and would never even ask.

It seems a bit overbearing to me that a man would be that invested in my jewerly box.

I kinda get what you’re saying. My hubby has no idea what jewelry he has bought for me aside from the 5 major items he chose. I also buy myself things but usually from his account and tell him it was a gift from him
I got rid of my jewelry items from other guys, but if I didn’t I wouldn’t feel the need to mention it to him. Most of my jewelry doesn’t have sentimental value, it’s just pretty little baubles!

 

[A1aGypsy]

If my spouse had been married before and I came to find out that a piece they were wearing was the engagement ring from their first relationship and they had never told me, I would not be happy.

That was a pretty significant symbol of the relationship. I don’t think it is overbearing at all. I think that is very different from just a piece of jewellery that an ex purchased

 

[GGGirl]

In order to move forward in your life you must let go of the past which especially includes your engagement ring. The ring represented something that no longer exists which is a commitment of marriage. It’s okay not to give up right now. But as time passes you might feel differently about keeping it. Put it in a drawer or safety deposit box and revisit later. Later you might realize you no longer need this ghost of the past because you have a new and better life. GL Dear PF Friend.

 

[skyqueen]

First...it's your life, do what makes you happy. There is no rush, take your time. Use your intuition, you'll know what's best for you.
I have sold/traded 2 engagement rings of value. But that's me...I'm not a bit sentimental. I would rather have something I love wearing rather then something that sits in a safety deposit box. I call it positive karma and putting the past (good or bad) behind me. I inherited my Mother's e-ring and had the main stone made into a necklace. I don't wear rings anymore and love wearing "her" special necklace.
Good luck deciding and keep us posted.

 

[JenW]

I had mine made into a necklace. But after I remarried, my DH commented every time I started to wear it that "I guess I don't buy you enough jewelry... you're wearing that"! So last week, after 13 years, off to auction it went! Successfully! And now I will buy myself something that doesn't have ties to my first marriage. Just my experience...

Can I ask what service you used?

 

[loogirl]

If my spouse had been married before and I came to find out that a piece they were wearing was the engagement ring from their first relationship and they had never told me, I would not be happy.

That was a pretty significant symbol of the relationship. I don’t think it is overbearing at all. I think that is very different from just a piece of jewellery that an ex purchased

My point is why would anyone even ask? Like is he interrogating her about each piece of jewelry? Where did that pendant come from?

The men I know wouldn't even think to comment on it.

I'm not into men who care about women's accessories or clothes though. Like they notice if you look good but arent focusing on the details. Men who try to influence what women wear even in harmless ways annoy me.

And you have to be next level petty and insecure to be jealous of a piece of jewelry.

 

[A1aGypsy]

I don’t think it’s jealousy per say but hey, just call me petty and insecure.

Oh wait. You just did.

If I had a big diamond around my neck I could absolutely see my husband asking me where I got it, not as a form of trying to impact what I wear or jealousy or anything nefarious but general conversation and an interest in me.

 

[meazar]

My point is why would anyone even ask? Like is he interrogating her about each piece of jewelry? Where did that pendant come from?

The men I know wouldn't even think to comment on it.

I'm not into men who care about women's accessories or clothes though. Like they notice if you look good but arent focusing on the details. Men who try to influence what women wear even in harmless ways annoy me.

And you have to be next level petty and insecure to be jealous of a piece of jewelry.

You totally missed my point. So not worth the effort to engage. Bye Bye! ( and it was a ROCK).

 

[meazar]

I don’t think it’s jealousy per say but hey, just call me petty and insecure.

Oh wait. You just did.

If I had a big diamond around my neck I could absolutely see my husband asking me where I got it, not as a form of trying to impact what I wear or jealousy or anything nefarious but general conversation and an interest in me.

I don’t think it’s unusual at all to tell your new husband/fiancé that a specific piece was your former engagement ring. If you start out hiding things, there’s trouble. But we digress. BTW, I think she was calling my husband petty and insecure!!!

 

[meazar]

Can I ask what service you used?

I pm’d you.

 

[OutWest]

If the ring was bought by your daughter's father, I'd remove the stone, have it made into a simple, classic solitaire (prong-set or dbty), and give it to her for a significant event--18th birthday, high school graduation, college or grad school graduation. Post-divorce, what it's become is essentially a symbol that you loved each other and made something together far more beautiful than diamonds (her!) And THEN I'd go buy yourself something amazing to celebrate this next phase of your life!