Collection at the Tipping Point

[Sparkletastic]

I know; how is this possible? How can I SIMULTANEOUSLY feel like a) I have too many and am starting to duplicate, but b) there are still things that are "missing?" Ridiculous.

I don't think it's ridiculous. LOL! There are always new bags to love!!! I know I'm going to sound like a broken record since I've posted this elsewhere but I REALLY would be lost without my trusty list which has two parts:
1) I keep track of what I use every day. That way after 6 months - year I can see what ISN'T being used or used enough. This exposes and eliminates the unneeded multiples that I otherwise wouldn't be able to "see". And (gulp!) I sell those little used / unused bags Every now and then a bag gets a "stay of execution" -I try to get it in the rotation. But if it still isn't being used after another year, out it goes!
2) When I really think I want a new bag I write it down. Then every day I ask myself if I'd use that bag with my outfit INSTEAD of one I already have and love. If so, it gets a tick mark. If not, it doesn't. Only 2 bags (out of 14 so far) have survived this vetting process. I realize I wouldn't use the bag as much as I thought AND reminds me I already have the perfect bag for that use / outfit.

Some feel lists are a hassle but I'm an uncured, barely contained handbag addict. LOL! I need an easy process to keep me from buying the daily bag of the moment!!

@SummerfriendI was at the tipping point the last few years so I spent a lot of time reducing my collection by both selling & donating to friends & charity. I have also learned TONS from TPF & all the WONDERFUL folks here~ I love hearing everyone's perspectives! Probably 2 of the most powerful learnings for me have been if it (handbag) doesn't spark joy than don't buy it, or if I own it & there's no joy in it any longer, then sell or donate (do not keep it in closet unused forever.... I was doing that for years)... This I learned from a fabulous thread on "shopping from your own closet." @Sparkletastic is a fantastic contributor there! And secondly, I now keep a photo inventory of my current bags so that when I'm considering a new bag, I clearly study how this new bag will fit in (or not) & my goal is always to NOT have crazy redundancy (which I clearly had lots of before going on a massive overhaul in reducing my collection). Ooooo I'm long-winded /sorry....time for me to shut it!

Kendie, congrats on getting your closet to where it works for you! Your bag collection is gorgeous!!

And, Awwww! Thanks for the compliment. I think we all learn a lot from each other here on TPF! Love my pocket friends!

And I COMPLETELY agree on the power of lists, photo inventories, etc. Having a clear view of what we have and comparing it to a new purchase is a great tool to keep from overbuying.

I really enjoy hearing about people who put together a collection, and then STOPPED and just use and enjoy what they have. It's easy on tPF to get caught up in the idea that loving handbags means BUYING handbags, but really, the PURCHASE is just the beginning - the true love of handbags is in USING them and allowing them to enhance our comfort & personal style.

Yes! THIS! The hunt that ends in the perfect bag can be exhilarating. But if we truly are buying the "perfect" bags, the hunting should eventually end (other than possibly a purchase every year or three to keep a collection fresh.) Our happy should be in wearing our bags. Not chasing the next one. I'm kinda happy because I'm getting used to the idea that I'm just about there. LOL! And I'm finally really enjoying my bags.

 

[Amazona]

There is nothing like getting sick and/or major life changes to put bags in their proper perspective! I'm glad you are recovered and doing well! (and there is a lot to be said for a great pair of sunnies!)

You are so right! Radical changes in life are a good reminder of what's good, right and necessary. I didn't even realise I was unhappy and unwell, both were long standing conditions that made me tired and kind of blind to my own misery. Finally getting the help I needed with my health and meeting a man who thinks that I deserve the best of everything (instead of constantly making me feel like he deserves better than me, like the ex did) woke me up.
There truly is a lot to a great pair of sunnies, hoping to have some new Ray-Ban magic in my life come Christmas! Thanks for the well wishes

 

[prepster]

You are all so brilliant. I love this thread. Such wise perspectives and advice! One thing that has helped me "get my house in order," so to speak, is elevating my standards for the items that I bring into my life. I have realized that I love quality garments--superior fabric, flat seems, well-sewn button holes. The difference in the way that I feel wearing beautiful, well-made clothing is appreciable. It changes my posture, how I walk, even probably how I behave.

The desire for quality also seems to effect everything else, my relationships, my decorating, my cooking etc. I have realized that it is okay to give myself permission to buy less, eat less, have much less--but better. I've found the same thing on this bag journey. The more I am exposed to high quality workmanship, the more particular I seem to be becoming about which bags I will let into my bag wardrobe. I'm not accepting bags into my life simply because they are "hot," or because they have a reputation with socialites and celebrities.

I'm finally starting to trust my own style, taste, and ability to discern. But because I consider myself to still be working at this whole elegance thing, when I want something, I tend to really think hard about it and research and sort of test and question. Having read all of your wise words, I'll probably enjoy the process more.

 

[Sparkletastic]

The desire for quality also seems to effect everything else, my relationships, my decorating, my cooking etc. I have realized that it is okay to give myself permission to buy less, eat less, have much less--but better. I've found the same thing on this bag journey. The more I am exposed to high quality workmanship, the more particular I seem to be becoming about which bags I will let into my bag wardrobe. I'm not accepting bags into my life simply because they are "hot," or because they have a reputation with socialites and celebrities.

I'm finally starting to trust my own style, taste, and ability to discern. But because I consider myself to still be working at this whole elegance thing, when I want something, I tend to really think hard about it and research and sort of test and question. Having read all of your wise words, I'll probably enjoy the process more.

I love this. Especially the bolded statement. So very wonderful.

 

[catsinthebag]

I don't think it's ridiculous. LOL! There are always new bags to love!!! I know I'm going to sound like a broken record since I've posted this elsewhere but I REALLY would be lost without my trusty list which has two parts:
1) I keep track of what I use every day. That way after 6 months - year I can see what ISN'T being used or used enough. This exposes and eliminates the unneeded multiples that I otherwise wouldn't be able to "see". And (gulp!) I sell those little used / unused bags Every now and then a bag gets a "stay of execution" -I try to get it in the rotation. But if it still isn't being used after another year, out it goes!
2) When I really think I want a new bag I write it down. Then every day I ask myself if I'd use that bag with my outfit INSTEAD of one I already have and love. If so, it gets a tick mark. If not, it doesn't. Only 2 bags (out of 14 so far) have survived this vetting process. I realize I wouldn't use the bag as much as I thought AND reminds me I already have the perfect bag for that use / outfit.

Some feel lists are a hassle but I'm an uncured, barely contained handbag addict. LOL! I need an easy process to keep me from buying the daily bag of the moment!!

Kendie, congrats on getting your closet to where it works for you! Your bag collection is gorgeous!!

And, Awwww! Thanks for the compliment. I think we all learn a lot from each other here on TPF! Love my pocket friends!

And I COMPLETELY agree on the power of lists, photo inventories, etc. Having a clear view of what we have and comparing it to a new purchase is a great tool to keep from overbuying.

Yes! THIS! The hunt that ends in the perfect bag can be exhilarating. But if we truly are buying the "perfect" bags, the hunting should eventually end (other than possibly a purchase every year or three to keep a collection fresh.) Our happy should be in wearing our bags. Not chasing the next one. I'm kinda happy because I'm getting used to the idea that I'm just about there. LOL! And I'm finally really enjoying my bags.

"Our happy should be in wearing our bags. Not chasing the next one." Truly words of wisdom! Thanks for putting it so succinctly. I think for a lot of us, the trouble begins when it starts being about the hunt, not the bag itself.

 

[Kendie26]

You are all so brilliant. I love this thread. Such wise perspectives and advice! One thing that has helped me "get my house in order," so to speak, is elevating my standards for the items that I bring into my life. I have realized that I love quality garments--superior fabric, flat seems, well-sewn button holes. The difference in the way that I feel wearing beautiful, well-made clothing is appreciable. It changes my posture, how I walk, even probably how I behave.

The desire for quality also seems to effect everything else, my relationships, my decorating, my cooking etc. I have realized that it is okay to give myself permission to buy less, eat less, have much less--but better. I've found the same thing on this bag journey. The more I am exposed to high quality workmanship, the more particular I seem to be becoming about which bags I will let into my bag wardrobe. I'm not accepting bags into my life simply because they are "hot," or because they have a reputation with socialites and celebrities.

I'm finally starting to trust my own style, taste, and ability to discern. But because I consider myself to still be working at this whole elegance thing, when I want something, I tend to really think hard about it and research and sort of test and question. Having read all of your wise words, I'll probably enjoy the process more.

Bravo & major kudos to you!! So well said ..[emoji173]️it! [emoji322]

 

[HopelessBagGirl]

I wonder if one way to keep things mindful is to examine your closet and bag collection and ruminate on your needs ALL OFFLINE and then come to some conclusions about holes in your collection, genuine scenarios that you actually face in your current love in which you have NO BAG to fit the bill. Then, you write down every criterion that the needed bag would need to perfectly fill the hole. Bonus points for hunkering down and figuring out if there's a way for multiple holes to be filled by a single bag (for example convertible strap options or expanding zippers so it can fluctuate in size, or colorblock so it matches more, etc). All without thinking of a single actual bag that has caught your eye in the wild. Once you've written down the criteria per hole(s), then you go into the world online or in stores to see what bag fits every single criteria.

 

[Sparkletastic]

I wonder if one way to keep things mindful is to examine your closet and bag collection and ruminate on your needs ALL OFFLINE and then come to some conclusions about holes in your collection, genuine scenarios that you actually face in your current love in which you have NO BAG to fit the bill. Then, you write down every criterion that the needed bag would need to perfectly fill the hole. Bonus points for hunkering down and figuring out if there's a way for multiple holes to be filled by a single bag (for example convertible strap options or expanding zippers so it can fluctuate in size, or colorblock so it matches more, etc). All without thinking of a single actual bag that has caught your eye in the wild. Once you've written down the criteria per hole(s), then you go into the world online or in stores to see what bag fits every single criteria.

Yep. This is similar to how I rebuilt my collection from 130+ lackluster bags to my current tight collection of 21 perfect bags (my max is 25). I sold off all but 2 of the 130 as I figured out my usage / color / style needs and then bought ONLY for those "slots" v just buying bags I like. This really helps me not buy. I love a lot of bags so that can't be my buying criteria. LOL!!! I have to have some reasonable approach to choosing. For example, I identified that I needed a medium sized blue shoulder bag. So I hunted one and eventually fell in love with my blue Miss Dior. I didn't do the reverse that I used to do - see a bag and then add it just because I loved it!

Right now my list is showing that I need a black shoulder bag, gold shoulder bag and TBD color large sectioned tote. So, when a bordeaux top handle bag or animal print bucket crosses my line of sight I swoon and move on. They don't have an identified need so I know they likely will be a "bad" purchase.

 

[HopelessBagGirl]

I love the methodology we both seem to aspire to! Okay you currently adhere to and I aspire to! Well I'm not NOT doing it, I'm just creeping towards being more disciplined and methodical. Like my summer mz wallace haul (4 bags which for me is tons) was an even mix of justifying because I wanted the bag at the price I found and identifying a need first and then filling it. Room for improvement. Then the massaccesi bag I ordered at the end of July /beginning of August was lust for the particular leather color but on the other hand I vaguely knew I had no dark blue carryall tote and needed one with certain features so I ordered it custom to the type of bag I knew I would get a ton of use from and in a color 'hole' in my collection so.....not awful but I erred in how the buying process began. Room for improvement!
Now I'm designing a bag & woc set from scratch with an etsy bag maker in an attempt to fill nearly every dang hole remaining in my collection in one highly customized (after much philosophical ruminations about what features are truly most important and create a very versatile and useful piece) fell swoop, for under $600. So I'm getting laser focused about what I need in my collection and also how to be really clever in combining multiple bag needs into one versatile piece whenever I possibly can. I have given so much thought and lived through so much trial and error, mostly error, on the kind of functional larger bag and wallet clutch that I need to get through the day, that it is easier to know my needs and get real with my collection, the question is whether my number is 12 (every bag gets a whole month to bask in the light of my attention) or higher.

Where I'm a bit less clear is in my small evening purse collection and I'm at the moment wobbly and at the tipping point in terms of no focus and all lust and just want all the bags.

 

[Summerfriend]

I wonder if one way to keep things mindful is to examine your closet and bag collection and ruminate on your needs ALL OFFLINE and then come to some conclusions about holes in your collection, genuine scenarios that you actually face in your current love in which you have NO BAG to fit the bill. Then, you write down every criterion that the needed bag would need to perfectly fill the hole. Bonus points for hunkering down and figuring out if there's a way for multiple holes to be filled by a single bag (for example convertible strap options or expanding zippers so it can fluctuate in size, or colorblock so it matches more, etc). All without thinking of a single actual bag that has caught your eye in the wild. Once you've written down the criteria per hole(s), then you go into the world online or in stores to see what bag fits every single criteria.

Yes, I actually do exactly this! I have two lists on my phone - one is a list as you've described, of all the contexts for which I need a bag (travel, daytime wedding, date night, etc.). Under each of those headings I list all my current bags that fit the bill. I need at least one, and I start to get stressed if I have too many, for each category. Currently, I really do only have 1 or 2 per category . . . EXCEPT "everyday bags." I am the MOST drawn to medium-size, functional day bags. Fortunately, a lot of these overlap with other categories too, but I recognize as I look at this list that I truly don't need any more for this purpose.

My second list is "my (lifetime) handbag collection." That's literally the name of it. Here, I have listed my whole collection, grouped by designer. The key is that this lists my WHOLE collection, including bags that I don't have yet and may not get for a few years. If I don't actually own it yet, there's an asterisk next to it, and when I acquire it, I remove the asterisk. There have been maybe 1 or 2 things that I've bought that weren't yet on this list, but the big purchases have all been an asterisk removal.

These lists do help me keep an eye on the big picture. What makes me feel like I'm sliding past the tipping point is volume - having so many bags that I don't use any one of them enough to become a "signature bag" for me. That's always been a big thing for me. I am coming around, though, to the idea of having, like 6 signature bags instead - different ones for different seasons and different reasons.

 

[prepster]

Such smart ideas! I love the idea of making a bag list and having criteria for each unfilled slot. I admire all of you who have a perfect bag for your various occasions. It means you're out having wonderful experiences and participating in many activities in all seasons and you're looking chic! I find that I often don't have the right bag. I'm beginning to think that I am putting too much pressure on my bags to fill too many roles. Poor little darlings.

 

[Summerfriend]

Such smart ideas! I love the idea of making a bag list and having criteria for each unfilled slot. I admire all of you who have a perfect bag for your various occasions. It means you're out having wonderful experiences and participating in many activities in all seasons and you're looking chic! I find that I often don't have the right bag. I'm beginning to think that I am putting too much pressure on my bags to fill too many roles. Poor little darlings.

I used to use a diaper bag for everything, so I have come a long way, LOL!!

 

[prepster]

Yes, I actually do exactly this! I have two lists on my phone - one is a list as you've described, of all the contexts for which I need a bag (travel, daytime wedding, date night, etc.). Under each of those headings I list all my current bags that fit the bill. I need at least one, and I start to get stressed if I have too many, for each category. Currently, I really do only have 1 or 2 per category . . . EXCEPT "everyday bags." I am the MOST drawn to medium-size, functional day bags. Fortunately, a lot of these overlap with other categories too, but I recognize as I look at this list that I truly don't need any more for this purpose.

My second list is "my (lifetime) handbag collection." That's literally the name of it. Here, I have listed my whole collection, grouped by designer. The key is that this lists my WHOLE collection, including bags that I don't have yet and may not get for a few years. If I don't actually own it yet, there's an asterisk next to it, and when I acquire it, I remove the asterisk. There have been maybe 1 or 2 things that I've bought that weren't yet on this list, but the big purchases have all been an asterisk removal.

These lists do help me keep an eye on the big picture. What makes me feel like I'm sliding past the tipping point is volume - having so many bags that I don't use any one of them enough to become a "signature bag" for me. That's always been a big thing for me. I am coming around, though, to the idea of having, like 6 signature bags instead - different ones for different seasons and different reasons.

It sounds to me like you have a lovely collection of bags that you like, and that you really do think through each new purchase. I love your lists. The great thing about collecting bags is that it's a fun hobby and one does it because the bags are beautiful in their own right, but it also helps one get dressed and look nice at various functions. And of course, bags have the added benefit of carrying our stuff quite nicely so we don't have to have such large pockets. It doesn't sound to me like you're being excessive in your collecting, but if you feel like you have too many "medium-size, functional day bags," you could either stop buying those for awhile and use what you have, retiring them as they get ratty, or deaccession some of them now while they are still sellable to make room for new acquisitions. Even museums do that from time to time.

You probably look really nice when you go out because you have the right bag for your outfit, so perhaps simply always looking chic and appropriate is your signature, rather than being identified with a certain bag. I hear what you're saying though, and I get it. Queen Elizabeth and her Launer bags, Kate and her clutches, Di and her Dior. But they have a lot of people to carry everything else they need. For them, the bag is more something to do with their hands/security blanket than an actual functional piece of equipment.

 

[prepster]

These lists do help me keep an eye on the big picture. What makes me feel like I'm sliding past the tipping point is volume - having so many bags that I don't use any one of them enough to become a "signature bag" for me. That's always been a big thing for me. I am coming around, though, to the idea of having, like 6 signature bags instead - different ones for different seasons and different reasons.

Another thing just occurred to me, in thinking about a "signature." Is it possible that your collection needs curating? In other words, perhaps there is a craving for some kind of cohesiveness that will make your collection uniquely you, as opposed to a collection that might belong to anyone. I remember reading a novel years ago, one of those bodice-rippers, where the heroine only wore blue gowns. Every shade of blue from almost white, to robin's egg to deep midnight, but always blue. This became her signature, and gave her collection of clothing (I am guessing) a sense of cohesiveness and of being curated only for her.

When I think of Kate and her clutches, clutches seem to be her signature and they work synergistically with her always feminine, ladylike look. She has casual clutches and very dressy clutches, but always a clutch. They work for her because they are lightweight, and probably allow her to do something with her hands so that when she has to stand or sit for long periods (while simultaneously being photographed umpteen thousand times) she doesn't have to worry about fidgeting.

So one way to build a collection that is truly your own, is perhaps to think of curating it the way a collector of art would curate a private collection. Find a theme that runs through your collection and works synergistically with your personal style. Then your bags make your style more clean, identifiable and powerful.

 

[HopelessBagGirl]

Another thing just occurred to me, in thinking about a "signature." Is it possible that your collection needs curating? In other words, perhaps there is a craving for some kind of cohesiveness that will make your collection uniquely you, as opposed to a collection that might belong to anyone. I remember reading a novel years ago, one of those bodice-rippers, where the heroine only wore blue gowns. Every shade of blue from almost white, to robin's egg to deep midnight, but always blue. This became her signature, and gave her collection of clothing (I am guessing) a sense of cohesiveness and of being curated only for her.

When I think of Kate and her clutches, clutches seem to be her signature and they work synergistically with her always feminine, ladylike look. She has casual clutches and very dressy clutches, but always a clutch. They work for her because they are lightweight, and probably allow her to do something with her hands so that when she has to stand or sit for long periods (while simultaneously being photographed umpteen thousand times) she doesn't have to worry about fidgeting.

So one way to build a collection that is truly your own, is perhaps to think of curating it the way a collector of art would curate a private collection. Find a theme that runs through your collection and works synergistically with your personal style. Then your bags make your style more clean, identifiable and powerful.

Inspirational post! And a unique take on mindful bag obsession!