I told her yesterday that I would get her the bag she wants by the end of the month. Then she texts me to say I don't feel like celebrating because I don't have the bag. Can we move the birthday celebration to when the bag is ready? That ticked me off. If I don't have money then I can't celebrate a birthday? I'll stop there since we're going into relationship territory. I was fine until she said that.
Warning. Long post. Lol!
I would be incredibly hurt if my husband wanted to postpone his birthday celebration time until I could get him a specific present. It would feel like I have to pay an admission fee to “get” to have that time. And, it would feel like a material thing was more important than “us.”
I’d also be angry if he wanted me to spend money on a non essential item that wasn’t fun money / disposable. From your comments, you aren’t financially strapped but, you do need to plan and delay this purchase. I’d want to delay until the amount was super comfortable to spend.
So, with the
HUGE disclaimer that I’m not hearing your wife’s side, I get why you are full of WTF’s.
I agree that this is a relationship issue. Why IS she so focused on the gift and why ARE you focused on the time? I have my biases but, I hesitate to say either is right or wrong. There’s a book called
The 5 Love Languages that may help you. It outlines the theory that how one person may want give love may not be how the other can feel it. “Gifts” and “Time” are actually 2 of the 5 languages. So, you two may be doing the relationship equivalent of both wanting the same thing (happy birthday) but your wife is speaking in Mandarin and you’re speaking Italian. Or a better analogy would be you both want to put out a fire and one of you thinks you should use a blanket while the other wants to throw on water. Perhaps some good conversation, reflection or even a third party can help you see if your goals are the same and help you harmonize your approaches.
But, to answer your original question. Why does she want another bag?
• Fashion: Variety helps with mixing and matching clothes. You probably have more than 2 shirts and 2 pair of pants. Almost never does anyone keep all their clothing categories to the bare minimum we need.
• Function: She may need a certain type of bag to solve a need. For example, she may have satchels but need a hands free crossbody to wear running errands.
• Perspective: Being on tPF, she likely has a warped view of how many bags is “normal”. I know I do! My collection of 22 bags seems tiny.

But, we’re bag lovers so, we don’t have to be nor do we aspire to be “normal”.
• Love language: The financial or even value compromise you make to get the bag may feel to her like proof you care.
• She has functioning eyes: She may just think it’s cute and want it. Lol!
In any case, I wish you two the very best. Marriage is too special and wonderful to have conflict over what is essentially a sack for stuff. My two cents - don’t buy her anything you will resent. That will just breed discontent over time. I would much rather go without a bag or buy it for myself than EVER get a grudge gift from my husband. Work the core issues out first.
Good luck!