So I can definitely help with this one being that education is what I do. I often deal with stress and anxiety in children who do make these awful comments. It is so important that the school knows he’s feeling this way so I’m glad you are talking to them. It’s important to help him to recognise, express and, importantly, rebalance his emotions.
The success of doing additional work at home can be very mixed. And here I don’t mean regular homework set for the whole class by the teacher but work set by the parent or a tutor for one child. For some children they will catch up and improve. For many others the very request from parents that they should do extra work can send the message that they are failing in some way. This message further erodes their self confidence and they learn less as a result both at home and also in school. They then experience a whole range of negative emotions. It’s a tricky ground to navigate unless the child is asking for help.
Children do their best work first thing in the morning at school when they are fresh. As you say, by the time school finishes they are exhausted and need some down time. Learning works best when it is purposeful and fun. If you can find some Apps or games that reinforce the learning rather than worksheets it might be more enjoyable so you’d meet less resistance.
Many families go through this very thing and I know how hard it is for you and your DS. Good luck.
Thank you so much for your reply and the encouragement! I appreciate the insight into the professional point of view!
Whether the teacher will acknowledge my message or reply is uncertain. He generally is not very communicative. We are in the former GDR. Most teachers´ mindset still is: "suck it up and perform".
The additional work is not my choice, but the backlog from our Covid infection. While sick at home DS was expected to be homeschooled. Neither him nor me were physically capableof doing so. We were sick, not chilling lazily at home.
A huge pile of grammar work remained untouched, but he is supposed to know it all for an upcoming exam. We can´t help but try to catch up now.
Of course DS is terribly annoyed to lose his spare time and he hates to be reminded of the need to catch up.
Haha, DS is a night person like I´ve been all my life- through and through. First thing at the morning at school he is dead to the world, even if he had a healthy night of sleep. The time this kid is productive is when everybody else is long asleep. Unfortunately we can´t do nightshifts on normal school days. When we are in homeschooling work is done in the middle of the night and very productively so.
We tried several apps and games and he did not respond well. To him most fall into the category of "cringe".
What actually seems to work is "soft learning".
A professor back at uni introduced me to this magic tool. He was highly provocative. We either hated him or made fun of him. Classes were agitated and very loud. Everybody was free to leave. When the exam came up many of us noticed we had understood and memorized everything we were supposed to learn without ever having the intention to do so. I remember this wise man very fondly!
So this afternoon instead of practising with another traditional cooking recipy work sheet (the topic today was operation description using the passive) I pulled out a box... I´m no traditional cook! This made the task more accessible already. In the end we moved over to loud and messy. Frustratedly DS said: "kill me," and we did an operation description of smothering somebody with a pillow... I guess he will remember what to do now...
Our doors and fridge are covered with posters with all the facts to have a quick glimpse for reassurance.
Late last night/ early this morning we fought over a parts-of-speech worksheet and became very loud and messy very quickly. While shouting at me why he did not care whether which word was what and using lots of inappropriate words as examples he suddenly had all the right facts together! This morning he told me he had the feeling he understood something...
At least there is some sense of achievement!
We keep trying and hope for the exam to be over and get passed. Barely is all he needs.
Thank-you for reminding me we are not the only family in this situation. It helps!
This POV is why my bag shopping has (relatively speaking) slowed. I want my clothes to feel as luxe as my bags and jewelry do so I’ve refocused.