2022 Resolution: Shopping my own bag and SLG collection. Anyone else?

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2 Aug - brand showcase: A-F
4 Sept - brand showcase: G-L
11 Sept - brand showcase: M-R
18 Sept - brand showcase: S-Z
25 Sept - totes
2 Oct - satchels
9 Oct - crossbodies inc WOCS
16 Oct - shoulder bags
23 Oct - bucket bags
30 Oct - clutches
6 Nov - backpacks
13 Nov - bags that don’t count
20 Nov - pairing bags with shoes
27 Nov - pairing bags with other accessories
4 Dec - bag storage
11 Dec - SLGs
18 Dec - charms

Challenges:
Sept - bags in different locations
Oct - Halloween: wear orange or black bags
Nov - International Merlot Day: wear wine coloured bags or pair bags with wine.
Dec - use the bag.
 
Oh Sweetie. Being new to this thread, I had no idea that you have gone through this. I admire your courage and your upbeat attitude. It makes me so sad that those people were so mean to you.
Consider yourself lucky! The poor souls on here have had to endure such stories so many times, I think they're probably wanting to gag me by now! :lol:

And thanks! It's not really a good attitude. To be honest, I was so freaking depressed after this happened! I'm just lucky I have so many positives in my life that they balance out this more difficult portion. :)
 
I have a little life update, but no bag news as I haven't used any this past week. Sorry if this is all too long and there are any typos. I'm quite tired and am pouring my heart out whilst I've got some courage left in me. :lol:

I met up with my former boss and it was lovely catching up. However, he did ask to see me without a mask (he knew my accident had changed my appearance) and his reaction was awful. He looked horrified. He said all the right things, was very polite, but he was clearly not expecting my new face.

I keep forgetting that other people don't see what I see. To me, one side of my face is wonky but it's still a normal face. I don't quite think it warrants such shocked reactions but, clearly it does because it keeps happening. Evidently, I'm desensitized.

He said he wouldn't be able to offer me my old job back because they're no longer masked up in the office and my appearance would make clients and staff uncomfortable. I should say, we are open and honest with each other and I was expecting him to be this direct. I appreciate it and was not offended.

I tried to explain that I wanted a remote position anyway as my mum is now living with me and we are both in the vulnerable category, and I'd prefer not to deal with clients but perhaps I could take on an admin role. He seemed unconvinced and remained hesitant. Eventually he admitted that he doesn't expect the rest of the team to be able to adapt and he thinks it would be an unhealthy environment for me if they couldn't see past my injuries.
In the end, we decided to head to the office together where he'd introduce me to everyone, show me all the new stuff the company is working on, and then we'd decide our next move based on how that initial trial went.

Introductions were awkward. Most of the people I'd worked previously with have moved on, so it was all these people I had never seen. They were staring, giggling, uncertain of where to look. I made normal conversation with them, took a tour, sat with the boss and gave him some input on something he was working on that I have some experience in. Figured that the shock would pass and it would all be fine later.
Then I went to the restrooms and as I walked in, I heard several of the women I'd been introduced to speaking about me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I was frozen in fear. Suffice it to say, the comments about my appearance made me feel physically ill.
I had been friendly and, in my experience, people get over the initial shock and then can just engage with me normally. However, these people were not going to be adaptable. It was clear that I would always be mocked behind my back. The things they said were the cruelest I'd heard yet- and I've heard a lot.
My former boss had hinted at this but I didn't quite get it until I overheard their conversation. I had a misplaced confidence in myself, thinking I could get them to see me beyond the face.

So, now what? I've tired to return to work since the accident and have repeatedly found myself in this position. Some people are honest about my face not being a good representation of their brand. Others just say I won't fit in. Whichever approach is taken, I know the issue is that I look frightening to them. I'm glad I've not been hired to meet some disability quota or out of pity. Still, it leaves me feeling quite stuck.
Of course, there is the added problem of the length of time I've been unemployed now. Literally since the accident, 4.5 years ago. The longer I am not working, the less employable I become. The pandemic really didn't help with my entire industry shutting down for the past 2 years, as well.

I think being self-employed is the only way to proceed now. I'd like to think I'll return to a corporate job at some point, but it's clearly not happening at this time. Holding out for it is draining me and I need to focus on something else. My mental health can't keep taking these hits.
This is a challenge I'll have to rise to. Feeling quite deflated but I know I'll pick myself up and get on with it.

I also met with the surgeon whom I was referred to for possibly reconstructing the disfigured section of my face. It was a brief meeting and examination as he'd already seen my file/photos/medical history from my doctor.

He examined me and explained that the only solution would be something called Scultpra. Basically one side of my face was crushed when the car hit me. The cheek and jaw bones were set in surgery afterwards, but didn't heal correctly due to complications I had. Then the skin of my face sort of adhered to the scar tissue that formed around the injury as I was healing in the months after the accident, so that side of my face has no cheek/facial fat. You can see bones, facial muscles, tendons, indents and such. I don't know how to explain it.

The Scupltra is like a filler of some sort (?) that would be injected underneath the skin, and plump up that space so you don't see the bones underneath. My face wouldn't be symmetrical or totally normal, but it would be better.
However, after examining me, he said my skin is too thin for this option. It is also fully adhered to the scar tissue and he wouldn't be able to get in between the skin and underlying muscle to inject me. He would risk hitting muscle/bone with the needle.
He said even if he managed to successfully inject me, my medical history indicates that I'd have complications from the Sculptra and there's a very high probability that I would end up looking even more disfigured if I attempted it.

He sent me to another colleague of his for a second opinion (thankfully I got seen immediately right after this consult so it was all done in one day), and the other surgeon examined me and told me never to touch my face. He said any attempt to fix this would tear my facial skin as it's so thin and would permanently ruin my face.

I've had the same feedback from other doctors I've seen over the years, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but it remains disappointing. Sculptra is new to me and was interesting to hear about, but since it's not an option, I'll looking at this whole thing as an interesting masterclass where I learned something totally new.

This is not the update I wanted to post, but such is life. Time to lick these wounds and find another way forward. If anyone read all that; thank you for your patience! I'm sorry I go off-topic so often. I had said I'd stop doing that but this is kind of my only outlet. Hopefully less of this from now on. Thank you all for being here for me. :hugs:

ETA: Funny how posting about what's happening gives me a clearer perspective. It has just hit me how much I've been handling since the pandemic started. I've either been in hospital or trying to create a "normal" life in the brief moments outside of hospital, applying for jobs whilst in quarantine. And somehow I also moved to another country. :shocked:
I'm tired! :lol:
Taking some time off now, I think. Not going to think about working, or my health, or anything serious at all. I'm going to focus on being present. I'm easily the luckiest person on the planet and I'm losing sight of that. I just want to enjoy resting, get some sunshine, focus on all the good fortune I do have, and recharge my batteries. The obstacles will be overcome somehow, but not unless I'm starting from a place of gratitude.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with all of this.
 
I'm so sorry you had to deal with all of this.
Thank you! :heart:

But to everyone, no more of this! I'm fine. It's all fine. :yes: It's an update to my earlier post, nothing more. I don't want to derail the thread again! I will forever be grateful for your continual support and I assure you it's not taken for granted.
Life will go on. Someday soon, I'll be able to share that I got to the other side of this tunnel and something wonderful is happening. I can't wait for the day! :biggrin: :flowers:


To get us back on track: I've decided that when I next venture out, I'll be taking Mr. Grumpy! It seems the perfect bag for my current mood! :lol:
mr. grumpy!.jpg
 
Incedible rehab! As always . :smile:


Love it! I would just attach my own strap- which I think you said in another post- sorry I've lost track as I was catching up.
Need to ask about that ring on your index finger! Is that a cow's head? Looks really gothic and cool, so I'd love to see another pic of it if you have one. :smile:

Thank you.

The bull is silver and enamel man's ring from Gucci. I love it too. I have the head on a necklace too.
 
I have a little life update, but no bag news as I haven't used any this past week. Sorry if this is all too long and there are any typos. I'm quite tired and am pouring my heart out whilst I've got some courage left in me. :lol:

I met up with my former boss and it was lovely catching up. However, he did ask to see me without a mask (he knew my accident had changed my appearance) and his reaction was awful. He looked horrified. He said all the right things, was very polite, but he was clearly not expecting my new face.

I keep forgetting that other people don't see what I see. To me, one side of my face is wonky but it's still a normal face. I don't quite think it warrants such shocked reactions but, clearly it does because it keeps happening. Evidently, I'm desensitized.

He said he wouldn't be able to offer me my old job back because they're no longer masked up in the office and my appearance would make clients and staff uncomfortable. I should say, we are open and honest with each other and I was expecting him to be this direct. I appreciate it and was not offended.

I tried to explain that I wanted a remote position anyway as my mum is now living with me and we are both in the vulnerable category, and I'd prefer not to deal with clients but perhaps I could take on an admin role. He seemed unconvinced and remained hesitant. Eventually he admitted that he doesn't expect the rest of the team to be able to adapt and he thinks it would be an unhealthy environment for me if they couldn't see past my injuries.
In the end, we decided to head to the office together where he'd introduce me to everyone, show me all the new stuff the company is working on, and then we'd decide our next move based on how that initial trial went.

Introductions were awkward. Most of the people I'd worked previously with have moved on, so it was all these people I had never seen. They were staring, giggling, uncertain of where to look. I made normal conversation with them, took a tour, sat with the boss and gave him some input on something he was working on that I have some experience in. Figured that the shock would pass and it would all be fine later.
Then I went to the restrooms and as I walked in, I heard several of the women I'd been introduced to speaking about me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I was frozen in fear. Suffice it to say, the comments about my appearance made me feel physically ill.
I had been friendly and, in my experience, people get over the initial shock and then can just engage with me normally. However, these people were not going to be adaptable. It was clear that I would always be mocked behind my back. The things they said were the cruelest I'd heard yet- and I've heard a lot.
My former boss had hinted at this but I didn't quite get it until I overheard their conversation. I had a misplaced confidence in myself, thinking I could get them to see me beyond the face.

So, now what? I've tired to return to work since the accident and have repeatedly found myself in this position. Some people are honest about my face not being a good representation of their brand. Others just say I won't fit in. Whichever approach is taken, I know the issue is that I look frightening to them. I'm glad I've not been hired to meet some disability quota or out of pity. Still, it leaves me feeling quite stuck.
Of course, there is the added problem of the length of time I've been unemployed now. Literally since the accident, 4.5 years ago. The longer I am not working, the less employable I become. The pandemic really didn't help with my entire industry shutting down for the past 2 years, as well.

I think being self-employed is the only way to proceed now. I'd like to think I'll return to a corporate job at some point, but it's clearly not happening at this time. Holding out for it is draining me and I need to focus on something else. My mental health can't keep taking these hits.
This is a challenge I'll have to rise to. Feeling quite deflated but I know I'll pick myself up and get on with it.

I also met with the surgeon whom I was referred to for possibly reconstructing the disfigured section of my face. It was a brief meeting and examination as he'd already seen my file/photos/medical history from my doctor.

He examined me and explained that the only solution would be something called Scultpra. Basically one side of my face was crushed when the car hit me. The cheek and jaw bones were set in surgery afterwards, but didn't heal correctly due to complications I had. Then the skin of my face sort of adhered to the scar tissue that formed around the injury as I was healing in the months after the accident, so that side of my face has no cheek/facial fat. You can see bones, facial muscles, tendons, indents and such. I don't know how to explain it.

The Scupltra is like a filler of some sort (?) that would be injected underneath the skin, and plump up that space so you don't see the bones underneath. My face wouldn't be symmetrical or totally normal, but it would be better.
However, after examining me, he said my skin is too thin for this option. It is also fully adhered to the scar tissue and he wouldn't be able to get in between the skin and underlying muscle to inject me. He would risk hitting muscle/bone with the needle.
He said even if he managed to successfully inject me, my medical history indicates that I'd have complications from the Sculptra and there's a very high probability that I would end up looking even more disfigured if I attempted it.

He sent me to another colleague of his for a second opinion (thankfully I got seen immediately right after this consult so it was all done in one day), and the other surgeon examined me and told me never to touch my face. He said any attempt to fix this would tear my facial skin as it's so thin and would permanently ruin my face.

I've had the same feedback from other doctors I've seen over the years, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but it remains disappointing. Sculptra is new to me and was interesting to hear about, but since it's not an option, I'll looking at this whole thing as an interesting masterclass where I learned something totally new.

This is not the update I wanted to post, but such is life. Time to lick these wounds and find another way forward. If anyone read all that; thank you for your patience! I'm sorry I go off-topic so often. I had said I'd stop doing that but this is kind of my only outlet. Hopefully less of this from now on. Thank you all for being here for me. :hugs:

ETA: Funny how posting about what's happening gives me a clearer perspective. It has just hit me how much I've been handling since the pandemic started. I've either been in hospital or trying to create a "normal" life in the brief moments outside of hospital, applying for jobs whilst in quarantine. And somehow I also moved to another country. :shocked:
I'm tired! :lol:
Taking some time off now, I think. Not going to think about working, or my health, or anything serious at all. I'm going to focus on being present. I'm easily the luckiest person on the planet and I'm losing sight of that. I just want to enjoy resting, get some sunshine, focus on all the good fortune I do have, and recharge my batteries. The obstacles will be overcome somehow, but not unless I'm starting from a place of gratitude.

I don't know how you do it, all power and strength to you
 
Crepe Suzettes on Israel’s roof.

From Eilat, which is the far southeastern corner of the country, we drove to Haifa, which is the far northwestern corner on the country. It is only 267 miles or 430 kilometers. Google maps told us it would be a 5 hour drive. Waze told us 4.5 hours. Both lied. It was an 8 hour drive. I learned a new lesson. Check time estimates during the same time of day that you will be driving. 10 pm Google estimates are worthless.

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Northern Israel is as lush and green as Southern Israel is bare. Because it is spring, there are fields with yellow flowers on the weeds and a surprising number of hollyhocks along the road. Haifa is a major port city on the Mediterranean with big booms and container ships milling around. The city is built on a hillside sloping up from the port and it is quite beautiful. The buildings are modern apartment buildings (1950s?), but the streets are winding and narrow. The Bahia temple in Haifa was the founding one, so it is the worldwide center of the religion. The temple owns an enormous plot of land which stretches across 10 levels on the hillside.
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At the foot of the Temple is the area known as the German Colony which was settled by the Templers (Protestant sect) of Germany in 1868. They believed that settling in the Holy Land would hasten the return of Christ. They were very advanced in urban planning and farming. A third of them were Nazis, so they were all rounded up and sent to internment camps in 1941. Currently this area is the happening place in the city, with a lot of Arab owned bars, cafes, and restaurants that are centers of cultural discussions. With the Mediterranean climate, the restaurants all have outdoor seating covered with leafy trellises and lights.
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My favorite thing about Haifa was all parking is free. On the narrow side streets, there are marked spaces on one side of the street. Those are all filled up? No problem. Just pull ¾ of the way up on the sidewalk on the other side. Not illegal. I loved the free-spirted attitude toward parking. My least favorite thing about Haifa is also the parking. It is all parallel parking. I suck at the that. It was nerve wracking in a rental car that I was not that familiar with. Back, forward, back, approaching infinity. I was not willing to try sidewalk parking for fearing of leaving the rental car bumper in Haifa.

In this picture, the cars on the left are in spaces and the cars on the right are on the sidewalk.
View attachment 5387814


We took a day trip to the Golan Heights which is the far northeastern corner of the country, bordering Syria and Lebanon. That was another Google Maps lie on time involved. The Golan Heights reach an elevation of 4,000 feet. We went to Mt. Bental which was the scene of a major battle in the Yom Kipper War of 1973. Because of the elevation, the Syrians thought it would be a good spot for dropping missiles on Israel. Syria brought in 1,500 tanks and 1,000 pieces of artillery. (Honestly, I can’t imagine how the Syrians got 1,500 tanks up 4,000 feet. The squirrels powering our rental Corolla were really working.) The Israelis countered with a much smaller force of 160 tanks. The Israelis destroyed 900 of the Syrian tanks and won. They won just in time, as they were down to their last 7 tanks!

Israel took control of the Golan Heights, so no one else could use that high ground to bomb them. There seems to be a recurring theme. Neighboring countries attack Israel and the result is they lose some of their land. I was told that Israel is the only country without official borders because it is surrounded by disputed territories that it controls for security reasons but does not really own.

Who expected the views of Syria and Lebanon to be so green?
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I knew there were old army tanks and bunkers at Mt. Bental, but there turned out to be much more. The path to the top is lined with whimsical metal statutes. The characters look like the creatures in the bar scene from Star Wars. I initially thought they were made from debris from the war, but then I saw that they were for sale and concluded they are probably made from old car parts.
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At the top is a famous coffee shop named Coffee Anon, which is a dual pun on the name of the former Secretary General of the UN (Kofi Annan) and the Hebrew words for coffee in the clouds. It had a surprisingly sophisticated menu. We had yummy crepe suzettes, which was our best meal to date in Israel. See those little brown squares. They had ICE CREAM inside!
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On the trip back to Haifa, we went to the Sea of Galilee with the intent of going to the town of Caperium. Jesus performed several healing miracles there. Caperium was super tiny, and the road in looked scary, so we blew that off, opting to go to the very run down Caperium National Park next door.
View attachment 5387824

Here is a fun fact. The Sea of Galilee is not salt water: it is fresh water and therefore, technically is a lake. I keep imagining that there were realtors in 200 bc who decided that it would attract more residents if they called it a sea, but that really can’t be the reason for the misnomer. I also imagine those realtors said to plant palm trees.

Our vacation comes to an end later this week. I have two more topics to cover. Driving in Israel and the café lifestyle of Tel Aviv. The café lifestyle is a fat topic as it will cover food, people, and fashion.
I love your updates! I can almost taste the crepes! The phots are brilliant. Can’t wait for the final instalments.
I think red is a neutral too. And speaking of red, seeing the red vernis key holder @cowgirlsboots has, here is my rouge Reade PM…View attachment 5388156
Wow, this is so beautiful. I’m back to thinking I should have red!
I have a little life update, but no bag news as I haven't used any this past week. Sorry if this is all too long and there are any typos. I'm quite tired and am pouring my heart out whilst I've got some courage left in me. :lol:

I met up with my former boss and it was lovely catching up. However, he did ask to see me without a mask (he knew my accident had changed my appearance) and his reaction was awful. He looked horrified. He said all the right things, was very polite, but he was clearly not expecting my new face.

I keep forgetting that other people don't see what I see. To me, one side of my face is wonky but it's still a normal face. I don't quite think it warrants such shocked reactions but, clearly it does because it keeps happening. Evidently, I'm desensitized.

He said he wouldn't be able to offer me my old job back because they're no longer masked up in the office and my appearance would make clients and staff uncomfortable. I should say, we are open and honest with each other and I was expecting him to be this direct. I appreciate it and was not offended.

I tried to explain that I wanted a remote position anyway as my mum is now living with me and we are both in the vulnerable category, and I'd prefer not to deal with clients but perhaps I could take on an admin role. He seemed unconvinced and remained hesitant. Eventually he admitted that he doesn't expect the rest of the team to be able to adapt and he thinks it would be an unhealthy environment for me if they couldn't see past my injuries.
In the end, we decided to head to the office together where he'd introduce me to everyone, show me all the new stuff the company is working on, and then we'd decide our next move based on how that initial trial went.

Introductions were awkward. Most of the people I'd worked previously with have moved on, so it was all these people I had never seen. They were staring, giggling, uncertain of where to look. I made normal conversation with them, took a tour, sat with the boss and gave him some input on something he was working on that I have some experience in. Figured that the shock would pass and it would all be fine later.
Then I went to the restrooms and as I walked in, I heard several of the women I'd been introduced to speaking about me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I was frozen in fear. Suffice it to say, the comments about my appearance made me feel physically ill.
I had been friendly and, in my experience, people get over the initial shock and then can just engage with me normally. However, these people were not going to be adaptable. It was clear that I would always be mocked behind my back. The things they said were the cruelest I'd heard yet- and I've heard a lot.
My former boss had hinted at this but I didn't quite get it until I overheard their conversation. I had a misplaced confidence in myself, thinking I could get them to see me beyond the face.

So, now what? I've tired to return to work since the accident and have repeatedly found myself in this position. Some people are honest about my face not being a good representation of their brand. Others just say I won't fit in. Whichever approach is taken, I know the issue is that I look frightening to them. I'm glad I've not been hired to meet some disability quota or out of pity. Still, it leaves me feeling quite stuck.
Of course, there is the added problem of the length of time I've been unemployed now. Literally since the accident, 4.5 years ago. The longer I am not working, the less employable I become. The pandemic really didn't help with my entire industry shutting down for the past 2 years, as well.

I think being self-employed is the only way to proceed now. I'd like to think I'll return to a corporate job at some point, but it's clearly not happening at this time. Holding out for it is draining me and I need to focus on something else. My mental health can't keep taking these hits.
This is a challenge I'll have to rise to. Feeling quite deflated but I know I'll pick myself up and get on with it.

I also met with the surgeon whom I was referred to for possibly reconstructing the disfigured section of my face. It was a brief meeting and examination as he'd already seen my file/photos/medical history from my doctor.

He examined me and explained that the only solution would be something called Scultpra. Basically one side of my face was crushed when the car hit me. The cheek and jaw bones were set in surgery afterwards, but didn't heal correctly due to complications I had. Then the skin of my face sort of adhered to the scar tissue that formed around the injury as I was healing in the months after the accident, so that side of my face has no cheek/facial fat. You can see bones, facial muscles, tendons, indents and such. I don't know how to explain it.

The Scupltra is like a filler of some sort (?) that would be injected underneath the skin, and plump up that space so you don't see the bones underneath. My face wouldn't be symmetrical or totally normal, but it would be better.
However, after examining me, he said my skin is too thin for this option. It is also fully adhered to the scar tissue and he wouldn't be able to get in between the skin and underlying muscle to inject me. He would risk hitting muscle/bone with the needle.
He said even if he managed to successfully inject me, my medical history indicates that I'd have complications from the Sculptra and there's a very high probability that I would end up looking even more disfigured if I attempted it.

He sent me to another colleague of his for a second opinion (thankfully I got seen immediately right after this consult so it was all done in one day), and the other surgeon examined me and told me never to touch my face. He said any attempt to fix this would tear my facial skin as it's so thin and would permanently ruin my face.

I've had the same feedback from other doctors I've seen over the years, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but it remains disappointing. Sculptra is new to me and was interesting to hear about, but since it's not an option, I'll looking at this whole thing as an interesting masterclass where I learned something totally new.

This is not the update I wanted to post, but such is life. Time to lick these wounds and find another way forward. If anyone read all that; thank you for your patience! I'm sorry I go off-topic so often. I had said I'd stop doing that but this is kind of my only outlet. Hopefully less of this from now on. Thank you all for being here for me. :hugs:

ETA: Funny how posting about what's happening gives me a clearer perspective. It has just hit me how much I've been handling since the pandemic started. I've either been in hospital or trying to create a "normal" life in the brief moments outside of hospital, applying for jobs whilst in quarantine. And somehow I also moved to another country. :shocked:
I'm tired! :lol:
Taking some time off now, I think. Not going to think about working, or my health, or anything serious at all. I'm going to focus on being present. I'm easily the luckiest person on the planet and I'm losing sight of that. I just want to enjoy resting, get some sunshine, focus on all the good fortune I do have, and recharge my batteries. The obstacles will be overcome somehow, but not unless I'm starting from a place of gratitude.
Thank you! :heart:

But to everyone, no more of this! I'm fine. It's all fine. :yes: It's an update to my earlier post, nothing more. I don't want to derail the thread again! I will forever be grateful for your continual support and I assure you it's not taken for granted.
Life will go on. Someday soon, I'll be able to share that I got to the other side of this tunnel and something wonderful is happening. I can't wait for the day! :biggrin: :flowers:


To get us back on track: I've decided that when I next venture out, I'll be taking Mr. Grumpy! It seems the perfect bag for my current mood! :lol:
View attachment 5388332
I’m so sorry this happened.

You are not derailing the thread and we care about you. I’m shocked and saddened for you that you were treated like this. I’m not naive that these things can happen but I can tell you it wouldn’t happen where I work. You should be employed based on your merits and nothing else. We’d educate both the children and the staff to understand what you have been through to be completely inclusive. There is an excellent charity “Changing Faces” in the U.K. who I’ve brought in before to help with a child in a similar situation to you. https://www.changingfaces.org.uk
I’m not sure where you are but employment law and the Equalities Act 2010 would cover you against being treated this way in the U.K.

You are a positive and guiding light to us in being grateful for what we have in the face of adversity. I admire your courage and your good spirits.

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Bob Marley

And that bag is totally brilliant! There are definitely times when I need my own Mr Grumpy!
 
I have a little life update, but no bag news as I haven't used any this past week. Sorry if this is all too long and there are any typos. I'm quite tired and am pouring my heart out whilst I've got some courage left in me. :lol:

I met up with my former boss and it was lovely catching up. However, he did ask to see me without a mask (he knew my accident had changed my appearance) and his reaction was awful. He looked horrified. He said all the right things, was very polite, but he was clearly not expecting my new face.

I keep forgetting that other people don't see what I see. To me, one side of my face is wonky but it's still a normal face. I don't quite think it warrants such shocked reactions but, clearly it does because it keeps happening. Evidently, I'm desensitized.

He said he wouldn't be able to offer me my old job back because they're no longer masked up in the office and my appearance would make clients and staff uncomfortable. I should say, we are open and honest with each other and I was expecting him to be this direct. I appreciate it and was not offended.

I tried to explain that I wanted a remote position anyway as my mum is now living with me and we are both in the vulnerable category, and I'd prefer not to deal with clients but perhaps I could take on an admin role. He seemed unconvinced and remained hesitant. Eventually he admitted that he doesn't expect the rest of the team to be able to adapt and he thinks it would be an unhealthy environment for me if they couldn't see past my injuries.
In the end, we decided to head to the office together where he'd introduce me to everyone, show me all the new stuff the company is working on, and then we'd decide our next move based on how that initial trial went.

Introductions were awkward. Most of the people I'd worked previously with have moved on, so it was all these people I had never seen. They were staring, giggling, uncertain of where to look. I made normal conversation with them, took a tour, sat with the boss and gave him some input on something he was working on that I have some experience in. Figured that the shock would pass and it would all be fine later.
Then I went to the restrooms and as I walked in, I heard several of the women I'd been introduced to speaking about me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I was frozen in fear. Suffice it to say, the comments about my appearance made me feel physically ill.
I had been friendly and, in my experience, people get over the initial shock and then can just engage with me normally. However, these people were not going to be adaptable. It was clear that I would always be mocked behind my back. The things they said were the cruelest I'd heard yet- and I've heard a lot.
My former boss had hinted at this but I didn't quite get it until I overheard their conversation. I had a misplaced confidence in myself, thinking I could get them to see me beyond the face.

So, now what? I've tired to return to work since the accident and have repeatedly found myself in this position. Some people are honest about my face not being a good representation of their brand. Others just say I won't fit in. Whichever approach is taken, I know the issue is that I look frightening to them. I'm glad I've not been hired to meet some disability quota or out of pity. Still, it leaves me feeling quite stuck.
Of course, there is the added problem of the length of time I've been unemployed now. Literally since the accident, 4.5 years ago. The longer I am not working, the less employable I become. The pandemic really didn't help with my entire industry shutting down for the past 2 years, as well.

I think being self-employed is the only way to proceed now. I'd like to think I'll return to a corporate job at some point, but it's clearly not happening at this time. Holding out for it is draining me and I need to focus on something else. My mental health can't keep taking these hits.
This is a challenge I'll have to rise to. Feeling quite deflated but I know I'll pick myself up and get on with it.

I also met with the surgeon whom I was referred to for possibly reconstructing the disfigured section of my face. It was a brief meeting and examination as he'd already seen my file/photos/medical history from my doctor.

He examined me and explained that the only solution would be something called Scultpra. Basically one side of my face was crushed when the car hit me. The cheek and jaw bones were set in surgery afterwards, but didn't heal correctly due to complications I had. Then the skin of my face sort of adhered to the scar tissue that formed around the injury as I was healing in the months after the accident, so that side of my face has no cheek/facial fat. You can see bones, facial muscles, tendons, indents and such. I don't know how to explain it.

The Scupltra is like a filler of some sort (?) that would be injected underneath the skin, and plump up that space so you don't see the bones underneath. My face wouldn't be symmetrical or totally normal, but it would be better.
However, after examining me, he said my skin is too thin for this option. It is also fully adhered to the scar tissue and he wouldn't be able to get in between the skin and underlying muscle to inject me. He would risk hitting muscle/bone with the needle.
He said even if he managed to successfully inject me, my medical history indicates that I'd have complications from the Sculptra and there's a very high probability that I would end up looking even more disfigured if I attempted it.

He sent me to another colleague of his for a second opinion (thankfully I got seen immediately right after this consult so it was all done in one day), and the other surgeon examined me and told me never to touch my face. He said any attempt to fix this would tear my facial skin as it's so thin and would permanently ruin my face.

I've had the same feedback from other doctors I've seen over the years, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but it remains disappointing. Sculptra is new to me and was interesting to hear about, but since it's not an option, I'll looking at this whole thing as an interesting masterclass where I learned something totally new.

This is not the update I wanted to post, but such is life. Time to lick these wounds and find another way forward. If anyone read all that; thank you for your patience! I'm sorry I go off-topic so often. I had said I'd stop doing that but this is kind of my only outlet. Hopefully less of this from now on. Thank you all for being here for me. :hugs:

ETA: Funny how posting about what's happening gives me a clearer perspective. It has just hit me how much I've been handling since the pandemic started. I've either been in hospital or trying to create a "normal" life in the brief moments outside of hospital, applying for jobs whilst in quarantine. And somehow I also moved to another country. :shocked:
I'm tired! :lol:
Taking some time off now, I think. Not going to think about working, or my health, or anything serious at all. I'm going to focus on being present. I'm easily the luckiest person on the planet and I'm losing sight of that. I just want to enjoy resting, get some sunshine, focus on all the good fortune I do have, and recharge my batteries. The obstacles will be overcome somehow, but not unless I'm starting from a place of gratitude.
I am sorry on both counts. I was really hoping they would both work out. You are very talented starting your own small business might be the way to go.
 
Thank you! :heart:

But to everyone, no more of this! I'm fine. It's all fine. :yes: It's an update to my earlier post, nothing more. I don't want to derail the thread again! I will forever be grateful for your continual support and I assure you it's not taken for granted.
Life will go on. Someday soon, I'll be able to share that I got to the other side of this tunnel and something wonderful is happening. I can't wait for the day! :biggrin: :flowers:


To get us back on track: I've decided that when I next venture out, I'll be taking Mr. Grumpy! It seems the perfect bag for my current mood! :lol:
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I love Mr. Grumpy!!!!!!!
 
Driving in Israel

I found the idiosyncrasies of Israeli driving to be very interesting and wanted to share the things that entertained me. After I wrote this, I thought “way too many words and bad pictures.” You, the reader, can pare this down by scanning the topic headings in bold and only read the ones that interest you. You can save it for when you are really bored and have absolutely nothing else to do. Or you can use it as a sleeping aid.

In advance, I want to apologize for the quality of the pictures. As I am the driver, it was difficult to take pictures when I wanted because the image either flew by, or I was up to my arse in traffic, or I was trying to not get hit by someone passing. Also, the pictures don’t really illustrate how crowded the roads are because many of the road pictures were taken on a Friday, which is the Sabbath, so most people are home that day.

In the planning phase of our vacation, I read that Israeli drivers were very aggressive. I lived in Los Angeles for 7 years, and I figured they could not be worse than Angelinos. Renting a car was the only way to get to the places we wanted to visit, so we did. The first few days were white knuckle, but it got easier.

We picked up our rental car and it turned out to be a great car. It was a hybrid Toyota Corolla. It had signs on both sides and the rear indicating that it was a Budget Rental car. I figure that is the universal sign in Hebrew “clueless idiot behind the wheel.” I liked that. I figured I would need all the help I could get. I loved having WAZE on the dash as a nav system. It was a bit of a problem that she only spoke Hebrew. It also took us a few days to understand the icons, but the arrows were the bomb. Having a good car made the following challenges less difficult.
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What is the speed limit and how fast I should drive? Israel is very stingy when it comes to posting speed limit signs. The other cars provide no clue. Somehow, I got it in my head that the speed limit was 80 kilometers per hour, and everyone on the road was passing me on the two lane road. I guessed that everyone else was going 90…100….110. I got out of their way the best I could. I didn’t want a speeding ticket. I finally read in a traveler’s blog that everyone was, in fact, going 10 to 30 kilometers over the speed limit. After that I sped up.

It helped when I learned to convert from kilometers to miles per hour. If you are a miles-per-hour driver, you think you are flying when you are creeping. I thought 80 kph felt like a reasonable speed, only to learn that I was going 50 mph. After that, my happy place was a 90 kph speed limit, with me driving 110 kph. To Americans, that sounds crazy fast, but it is only 68 mph.

After you get the hang of driving at the same over-the-limit speed everyone else does, you start wanting to pass the slower moving trucks. Passing pumps up your adrenalin and makes driving in the desert infinitely less boring. Passing fights sleepiness.

The highways in the West Bank are for Israelis only. No Palestinians allowed. Seriously, the road is controlled by Israel and the land on either side of the road is controlled by the Palestinian Authority. I have no idea how Palestinians cross the road.

This is one of the rare 4 lane roads outside of Jerusalem photographed on the first day of Passover so we had it all to ourselves.
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Closer to Jerusalem is the wall separating the West Bank and the City. That is the infamous wall on the right. This picture was taken from a taxi that we had take us on a tour of Ramalah. The Israelis own the road and the Palestinians own the land on each side.
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Israel should be called the country of round-abouts. The first town we went through on the way to the Bedouin camp was at the intersection of a small road and a smaller road. When you see something like that on a map in the US, it means there is going to be one stop light, a gas station, a grocery store, and 600 people. This Israeli town was bigger than 600 people. To get from one side of town to the other, we had to go through 12 traffic circles. Those 12 traffic circles did not have a single sign identifying the street names or highway number. Shouldn’t there be signs to guide you on how to stay on the same highway you are on? You have to know where you are going before you can go there. Without WAZE, we would have been toast.

Initially we thought it was just a quirk of that town. As we ventured forth on the next day, we realized “hey there are really a lot of round abouts here”. I am not exaggerating when I claim that in 4 days, we went through 400 round abouts. You would think after going through 400 roundabouts, I would have a picture of at least one, but I don't because my eyes were glued to WAZE trying to figure which road to take out of the circle. Our Hebrew speaking WAZE, taught us the only Hebrew word we learned on our vacation. It sounds like SHEK-LA-SHEY. That is Hebrew for “traffic circle”. Sometimes WAZE was SHEK-LA-SHEY-ing us so frequently, it sounded like a chant. Israeli roads don’t have a lot of traffic lights and stops signs are practically an endangered species. I saw only 5 stop signs in 4 days of driving.

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Israelis don’t go through traffic lights on pink. Israelis do have traffic lights in the crowded parts of major cities. In the US, when a light turns yellow, people speed up so that the two people behind them can go through on red. In Israel, yellow lights are short and people actually stop immediately. But…Israelis have another yellow light that we don’t. When the light is going to turn green, there is a yellow light that means “get ready.” Israelis start through the intersection on that yellow!!! What??? It is like jumping out of a chute with a firing pistol. This is cheating on the FRONT end of green, whereas we cheat on the BACK end of green.

The Israeli highway rest stop is a design cluster fork. In the US, rest stop means a mini park on the interstate to go to the bathroom and to walk your dog. In Israel, it is a combination gas station, mini mart, café, bathrooms, and sidewalk vendors which is found on major roads. You take the exit off the highway to the rest stop, which is the only thing on that exit. The exits look like ours, but what is at the end of the ramp is very different. Every car is forced to drive through the gasoline area first. There are about 5 angled gas bays and there is angled parking and a sidewalk vendor on either side of the gas bay area. Cars are all askew as they are waiting for a pump or a parking space. To the uninitiated like us, it looks like pure chaos. You weave your way through pumps and waiting cars and reach another line of cars trying to get one of the parking spaces in front of the café & bathrooms. You buy something and do your business and then navigate at least two traffic circles to get out of the rest stop and back on the highway again. It is just flat out weird to have to go through a traffic circle to get out of a gas station complex.

As you look at all these cars, keep in mind they were all on the road with us a few minutes before. This is the kind of traffic I have been trying to tell you about.
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Being unable to order food is a great diet. In our first rest stop experience, we had to have help making the gas pump work (we never figured out how to make the pumps work anywhere). We were lucky in getting a parking space, and we tried to buy food. The food is far superior to American gas station food, but we were too overwhelmed with the process to order.

There is a long counter with pizza and sandwiches and food that is unidentifiable to us. There are people who collect money and prepare the food. On the outside of the counter, there are frigs with drinks and ice cream. I wanted to get a drink and ice cream so that I would not have to use the electronic ordering system, given how poorly we fared making the gas pump work. I took my items to the cashier who would not take my money because…….wait for it……. I had not ordered them the through the electronic system. I had an involuntary moment of eye rolling. I have to admit, the idea of shoplifting flashed through my mind.

They sent someone out to help us order the things in our hands on the electronic menu, so we could pay for them. Everyone in Israel speaks English, except for the woman they sent to help us. She set the ordering machine on an English setting and entered our order even though she could not speak English. It was ludicrous that now we could read the words and she couldn’t, but she was doing the entry. We made it through, and then collapsed into despair, when we said we wanted to pay with credit card and she pressed cash (which we could read and she couldn’t).
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The Israeli super power is passing. IMHO, the Israeli road system is under-developed. With the exception of Tel Aviv, in every place we were there were way too many cars for the number of lanes. The only reason Tel Aviv is not over-populated with cars is because it is over-populated with razor scooters and motorcycles. Tel Aviv is a walking city so not so many cars but the razor scooters, and motorcycles, and bicycles are everywhere. This, btw, is one of the main shopping and strolling streets. Rothchild Blvd is supposed to be like 5th Ave. NY.
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Back to the passing topic. One person told us the road infrastructure is under-developed is because such a high portion of the Israeli national budget goes to defense. Most of the roads are two lanes. There are some limited stretches of 4 and 6 lane roads on the outskirts of Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, and Haifa and they have speed limits of 120 kph. Except they are prone of traffic jams that slow things to 7 kph. How can a country that is this advanced and clever have a system of mostly two lane roads?

Like all two lane roads worldwide, there are stripes marking passing and no passing zones. In the US, the passing zones are stretches of road in which you can see on-coming cars. In Israel, they have passing zones with blind curves or blind hills. This was especially true in the Golan Heights which had a lot of hills and curves. I just kept repeating to DH every time we came to a blind passing zone “can you believe this?” I finally concluded the only explanation is Israelis have X-ray vision.

It seems like all Israelis go one direction at one time. Traffic seemed heavy to me going up to Mt. Bental in the Golan Heights. The Golan Heights is a lightly populated area with a lot of small roads, so it should not be busy. When we came down the mountain, traffic was pretty light going our direction, but we counted 70 on-coming cars without a break going up the mountain. Would that not be maddening to be stuck in? We had the same experience going north to Haifa—huge traffic jams going to Haifa and smooth sailing going back to Tel Aviv. This is not like our morning and evening rush hours where traffic all goes one way. This happens all day. I don’t get it.

Since Israelis spend so much time in one way traffic jams, they become fiendish passers. I believe that I was a road hazard, because my habit as a defensive driver is to leave a lot of space in front of me. That big fat space was an irresistible lure to the impatient, frustrated Israeli driver who spends a lot of time on inadequate roads with too many other drivers. It didn’t matter that I was in the fast lane and was driving the exact same speed as everyone else, people would spot that gap in front of me and pass me on the right to get it. They swerve into right lane and then cut back left to get to their destination 20 feet ahead of me.

Passing Israeli style is a team sport. 1. The passing car gets only the front half of their car ahead of the being-passed car. 2. Then the passing car cuts back in. The back half of the passing car is EVEN with the front half of the being-passed car and obviously the two cars can’t occupy the same space in the same lane. 3. If you are the one being passed, It is your job to not hit the back half of the passer’s car, so you either hit the brakes or swerve toward the berm. The first couple of times it happens, you go "holy cow" and clinch the steering wheel, but after a while, you come to expect it. I could see in the rear view mirror what was coming, so I would warn DH "close call coming" (especially with the passing on the right) so he would not be totally freaked out.

In spite of all the things about Israeli driving that seem crazy and scary to me, I did not see a single car wreck in five days on the road. Not one. At home I see at least one accident every single day in the 5 mile drive from our house to our business. I don't understand the absence of accidents in Israel. The only explanation is that this is the Holy Land and they are God’s chosen people.
 
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Thank you all so much. No matter what I say, it is never enough to express my deep sense of gratitude for each of you and the unwavering support you've given me. :love:

@Katinahat I have not heard of that charity but it's absolutely amazing! Thank you for linking it. I am mostly at peace with what has happened, but I need to learn how to cope with other people's reactions better. There's an entire section on exactly that subject on the website! I'm so grateful! :tup::heart:
 
Thank you all so much. No matter what I say, it is never enough to express my deep sense of gratitude for each of you and the unwavering support you've given me. :love:

@Katinahat I have not heard of that charity but it's absolutely amazing! Thank you for linking it. I am mostly at peace with what has happened, but I need to learn how to cope with other people's reactions better. There's an entire section on exactly that subject on the website! I'm so grateful! :tup::heart:
Yes @Katinahat That was a great link and I totally agree with your post.
 
I don't know if this is embellished or multicolor. It's Brighton city chic New York pouch. I bought it new in 2013. It is really small, which limits how often I use it.
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Coach quilted signature hobo with fur trim. I've had this since 2012; it was made in 2004. I got it for a bargain price and only use it a few times a year. DH hates it.

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Coach studded mini Preston. I bought it new in 2014. I think it is adorable.
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Michael Kors Uptown Astor. I bought it new in 2012. I love this bag.

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Coach turnlock curb chain whiplash Dakotah. I bought it new in 2015. I love this bag.
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Is woven leather considered embellished? If so, I have two. Coach Bleecker woven pocket hobo and a vintage Bottega Veneta. Both were bought secondhand in 2018.

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I have a few others with studs, quilting, and other embellishments but eventually I'd be showing my whole collection.
 
@jblended , I’m so glad that link was useful and also very glad you are mostly at peace. You are amazing.

@Cordeliere , more incredible travel blogs! Both the food ordering and the driving/passing sounds terrifying! Well done for surviving to tell the tale so expertly.

@papertiger, I’m swooning over all your Gucci embellishments!

@whateve , beautiful bags and somehow I knew these were yours the minute I looked at the mini preston even before seeing your name.

You’ve made me think about three Coach bags I have, all shared before in colour weeks, two of which definitely count as embellished and one with an interesting quilt pattern.

Tearose Dinky: with tearose and rivets.
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Western Nomad: with western inspired rivets
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Quilted Crosby: no embellishments but the pattern is unusual.
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I have a little life update, but no bag news as I haven't used any this past week. Sorry if this is all too long and there are any typos. I'm quite tired and am pouring my heart out whilst I've got some courage left in me. :lol:

I met up with my former boss and it was lovely catching up. However, he did ask to see me without a mask (he knew my accident had changed my appearance) and his reaction was awful. He looked horrified. He said all the right things, was very polite, but he was clearly not expecting my new face.

I keep forgetting that other people don't see what I see. To me, one side of my face is wonky but it's still a normal face. I don't quite think it warrants such shocked reactions but, clearly it does because it keeps happening. Evidently, I'm desensitized.

He said he wouldn't be able to offer me my old job back because they're no longer masked up in the office and my appearance would make clients and staff uncomfortable. I should say, we are open and honest with each other and I was expecting him to be this direct. I appreciate it and was not offended.

I tried to explain that I wanted a remote position anyway as my mum is now living with me and we are both in the vulnerable category, and I'd prefer not to deal with clients but perhaps I could take on an admin role. He seemed unconvinced and remained hesitant. Eventually he admitted that he doesn't expect the rest of the team to be able to adapt and he thinks it would be an unhealthy environment for me if they couldn't see past my injuries.
In the end, we decided to head to the office together where he'd introduce me to everyone, show me all the new stuff the company is working on, and then we'd decide our next move based on how that initial trial went.

Introductions were awkward. Most of the people I'd worked previously with have moved on, so it was all these people I had never seen. They were staring, giggling, uncertain of where to look. I made normal conversation with them, took a tour, sat with the boss and gave him some input on something he was working on that I have some experience in. Figured that the shock would pass and it would all be fine later.
Then I went to the restrooms and as I walked in, I heard several of the women I'd been introduced to speaking about me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I was frozen in fear. Suffice it to say, the comments about my appearance made me feel physically ill.
I had been friendly and, in my experience, people get over the initial shock and then can just engage with me normally. However, these people were not going to be adaptable. It was clear that I would always be mocked behind my back. The things they said were the cruelest I'd heard yet- and I've heard a lot.
My former boss had hinted at this but I didn't quite get it until I overheard their conversation. I had a misplaced confidence in myself, thinking I could get them to see me beyond the face.

So, now what? I've tired to return to work since the accident and have repeatedly found myself in this position. Some people are honest about my face not being a good representation of their brand. Others just say I won't fit in. Whichever approach is taken, I know the issue is that I look frightening to them. I'm glad I've not been hired to meet some disability quota or out of pity. Still, it leaves me feeling quite stuck.
Of course, there is the added problem of the length of time I've been unemployed now. Literally since the accident, 4.5 years ago. The longer I am not working, the less employable I become. The pandemic really didn't help with my entire industry shutting down for the past 2 years, as well.

I think being self-employed is the only way to proceed now. I'd like to think I'll return to a corporate job at some point, but it's clearly not happening at this time. Holding out for it is draining me and I need to focus on something else. My mental health can't keep taking these hits.
This is a challenge I'll have to rise to. Feeling quite deflated but I know I'll pick myself up and get on with it.

I also met with the surgeon whom I was referred to for possibly reconstructing the disfigured section of my face. It was a brief meeting and examination as he'd already seen my file/photos/medical history from my doctor.

He examined me and explained that the only solution would be something called Scultpra. Basically one side of my face was crushed when the car hit me. The cheek and jaw bones were set in surgery afterwards, but didn't heal correctly due to complications I had. Then the skin of my face sort of adhered to the scar tissue that formed around the injury as I was healing in the months after the accident, so that side of my face has no cheek/facial fat. You can see bones, facial muscles, tendons, indents and such. I don't know how to explain it.

The Scupltra is like a filler of some sort (?) that would be injected underneath the skin, and plump up that space so you don't see the bones underneath. My face wouldn't be symmetrical or totally normal, but it would be better.
However, after examining me, he said my skin is too thin for this option. It is also fully adhered to the scar tissue and he wouldn't be able to get in between the skin and underlying muscle to inject me. He would risk hitting muscle/bone with the needle.
He said even if he managed to successfully inject me, my medical history indicates that I'd have complications from the Sculptra and there's a very high probability that I would end up looking even more disfigured if I attempted it.

He sent me to another colleague of his for a second opinion (thankfully I got seen immediately right after this consult so it was all done in one day), and the other surgeon examined me and told me never to touch my face. He said any attempt to fix this would tear my facial skin as it's so thin and would permanently ruin my face.

I've had the same feedback from other doctors I've seen over the years, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but it remains disappointing. Sculptra is new to me and was interesting to hear about, but since it's not an option, I'll looking at this whole thing as an interesting masterclass where I learned something totally new.

This is not the update I wanted to post, but such is life. Time to lick these wounds and find another way forward. If anyone read all that; thank you for your patience! I'm sorry I go off-topic so often. I had said I'd stop doing that but this is kind of my only outlet. Hopefully less of this from now on. Thank you all for being here for me. :hugs:

ETA: Funny how posting about what's happening gives me a clearer perspective. It has just hit me how much I've been handling since the pandemic started. I've either been in hospital or trying to create a "normal" life in the brief moments outside of hospital, applying for jobs whilst in quarantine. And somehow I also moved to another country. :shocked:
I'm tired! :lol:
Taking some time off now, I think. Not going to think about working, or my health, or anything serious at all. I'm going to focus on being present. I'm easily the luckiest person on the planet and I'm losing sight of that. I just want to enjoy resting, get some sunshine, focus on all the good fortune I do have, and recharge my batteries. The obstacles will be overcome somehow, but not unless I'm starting from a place of gratitude.
I´m so sorry yo had to go through this awful experience at your old work place. The folks there should be ashamed for their behaviour. I´m speechless.
I´m sorry the hoped for face treatment isn´t for you either. On the other hand. You are fine with your face. There is no need to take endless risks to "improve" it.
Sending a huge hug!
 
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