Tell me I'm crazy, but WOULD YOU GET MAD IF..

#91
Sorry, I would be pissed. I'm very jealous crazy like that and I don't care if there was touching involved or not. To even mention it I think is stupid and more attention-seeking than anything, or to see if he can get a rise outta you. And if it were me, I'd bring out the boxing gloves.
 
#94
BlueBunny said:
Just curious, would any of you break up with your BF over this???
Click to expand...

Yes. In a second.

Not because he got a "naked lap dance," but because he thought that it was a good idea to do so, if that makes sense to you.

Life is too short to spend it with someone who does not share your core values and IMO it is better to look for someone who does.

If my SO ends up a strip club with co-workers or friends(which happens every once in a great while, maybe every five years or so) I know that he is there to enjoy some "male bonding" with the guys, he will have one, maybe two drinks and not pay for any "extras."

Not becaue he would "get in trouble" when he gets home, but rather because he does not wish to participate in those sort of activities.

I would never tell him that he was "forbidden" to go on these outings because I know that we both feel the same way about what sort of behavior is acceptable.
 
#95
^^ ITA with everything robyn said. It is more that he willingly paid for something like that, that he thought it was a good idea, than that it actually happened. He clearly does not share your values regarding these things, and I'm not sure it is worth arguing over. You cannot change him or what he believes, so move on.
 
#97
Did you ask him why he told you? Did he tell you because he felt bad and wanted to be open and honest? Or did he tell you to get a reaction or to shove it in your face? I guess it depends on why he told you about the lap dance. Also important is whether you two talked about this beforehand. I know I asked my boyfriend to not get a lap dance or extras when he went to a bachelor party, so if he came home and told me he got a lap dance it would be worse than the lapdance itself. You know, the whole "you told me that you didn't like this, I did it anyway, so there!" attitude would be troubling. My boyfriend said he would never get a lap dance and that strip clubs are ripoffs that prey on the stupidity of men.
 
#98
Honestly, I would not break up with him over it. But that also depends on if he was open with you about going to the strip club in the first place, if it was just for fun or if it was because he feels like he wants more, etc.

And in strip clubs you are not allowed to touch the strippers or you will be kicked out- so he was telling the truth on that. Doesn't mean he may not have wanted to touch her. And the strippers, are fully nude for lap dances much of the time, and seriously, would be all over him.

Ok not trying to make you feel worse- just telling you what most likely happened.

And it just depends how you feel about it... diff people feel very differently about strip clubs.

Hang in there!
 
#100
he wouldnt do it actually i got myself a lap dance before its no big deal for me........if he wanted one i would just ask to watch.....i think the fact that i dont care makes it not very exciting for him....
 
#101
If he was your fiance and his buddies threw him a bachelor party at a strip club, he's going to get a lap dance - no question about it. That I wouldn't mind. I'd actually find it kinda funny. My boyfriend is so shy, I could imagine him up on stage turning red as a beet while some stripper danced and gyrated on him :roflmfao: I've been to strip clubs a few times with my boyfriend and I find them amusing. If I'm drunk enough, I'm usually the one giving them cash :graucho:

But if your boyfriend is making a habit out of this, or is dismissing it as nothing if you don't agree with his actions, that's a problem. Blue Bunny, this isn't the first time you've posted about your BF. You deserve better! He should respect your feelings, and if you are hurt by his actions, speak up and tell him. If he loves you and respects you, he will apologize and talk things through with you, and respect your wishes.
 
#102
I think the important thing is how you feel about it. From this thread it's obvious that everyone has their own idea what's ok. There are other factors in your relationship that might make it either okay or a huge red flag and we just don't know. Every relationship is different and the boundaries that people set are different. It's been said: Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Maybe this behaviour is in that category. Sort of like, it's an just fine behavior for a man but is it still ok when that said man is in a relationship? Try to look at it from that angle.
 
#103
OH hell nah!!!!!! I would kill him ... EWW thats just nasty and disrespectful to you.... ask your self this would he mind if you got a lap dance from a guy totally naked.... My answer is if he cares about you yes it will bother him but if he doesnt care that they do that (lap dance) to you he doesnt care about you.... I dont like that one bit ....
 
#104
breaking up - that depends. I think there is a major difference btw going to a strip club and watching from a distance, obviously, and getting a lap dance, naked no less. how did that happen, bec if I understand right, that usually needs to be arranged?

if this has been an ongoing issue btw the two of you, and he went anyway, probably yes.

if this just happened, no. did he tell you himself? but anyways, no. I wouldn't be happy, obviously but I wouldn't break up over it, if you agree it won't happen again, given that you don't like it. if this might turn into a habit - i'd let it go. anyhow, it really depends on the situation IMO.


and, the whole bodily fluids thing is just grossing me out.... EW!
 
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