LYING ...and Forgiveness?

Beach Bum

Beach Bum

O.G.
Feb 17, 2006
34,704
44
#1
So im in a killer situation where someone close to me got caught lying to me.AND the only reason I caught this person was because I had the proof..They had no way out...(Yes.they tried to deny the lie at first too..which only makes it worse)
I am one of those people who just cant stand lies.Im like if u lie to me..I will never deep down be able to trust u again.Is this only me?
or am i just not being fair?
Im trying to let it go ..but cant......

R u guys able to forgive and forget........????:confused1:
im wondering how to handle this and if Ill still be able to remain on good terms with this person or not.
Tell me it isnt just me....LOL!
 
#2
I'm with you, Jill. I may be able to forgive, but I'll never forget. If I may ask, how long have you known this person and is there a history of lying?
 
#3
How can you, it is so hard to ever trust someone again after they lie to you. My marriage went through xxxxx> We got through it because we were married. If I am not married to someone, I dont owe them a thing, that is my opinion anyway. People like us put alot in trust, because we dont lie to people, hope the pain goes away soon
 
#4
I can't stand it when people lie - I'm one of those who can't ever forget something wrong someone did to me, no matter how hard I try. Was it a massively huge lie?
 
#5
It really depends on how close you are to that individual and how big the lie was.

If you are extremely close to this individual, then because of this lie, not being on good terms with this person might hurt you since you might miss them later and maybe a few years down the road, you might not care as much about this situation as you do now.

I think you should just always keep in mind about how this person lied to you, and keep your distance from that person.

I too can forgive, but will never forget.
 
#6
Known this person for over 10 years...never ever would of thought they would even be capable of a lie.This person was probably the last person on earth I could picture lying to me.
 
#7
There is nothing worse than being lied to, period. It can cause so many issues, not just now, but way later down the line.

I always hope for the best and I do believe that time heals SOME wounds...don't be too hard on yourself. We need people in our lives that we can trust, which come so few and far between.

Good luck, girl! Thanks for coming here for support!
 
#8
Okay, that is pretty bad. I would probably be in shock if someone I knew for ten years who I never imagined would lie to me did that.

I think you should defintely confront them, and keep your distance with that person. Also, try to remain on "nonchalant" terms with this person.

Seriously, when people are confronted with something like this, you NEVER know how they might act. They might make you look like the liar...
 
#9
People lie for different reasons. Sometimes they lie out of fear or they lie because they don't want to hurt someone or because of control issues. Lying is lying, of course, but I guess it depends on the intent. Some people lie to be manipulative or to be malicious. If it is the latter motivation then it is really hard to deal with. In any event, the BETRAYAL that comes with this is really hard to overcome.
 
#10
I confront the person who lied to me and ask them to explain why they felt the need to lie and I always forgive, but not for them, for me. I don't want to walk around carrying the burden of their lies so I let it go...but I never forget and things are never the same between us. I just can't stomach a liar.:nogood:
 
#11
I guess I'd try to forgive but I hate lying so I'd probably not want to be around the person. Unless it's something minor (like saying yeah, that dress looks good when in fact it's ugly) I wouldn't be able to get over it.
 
#13
I can forgive, but I cannot forget. Like Roo said, there's many different reasons why people lie ...So I'd really have to say it depends on what she lied to you about.
 
#14
Forgive maybe, but forget never.
I think the feeling of disappointment is the worst. When you thought you could trust somebody completely and never expected that this person could ever lie to you.

When the feeling of trust is gone, it will probably never come back.
 
#15
The way you described it.... it seems very shocking and the person denies it....... This would be one of those things that would be a constant red light for the length of the relationship and it would be down hill from there for me. Its just natural to not want to be hurt and off guard like that again....

But since the situation and what the lie was and why is not revealed.....the only way I would let it go would be if I completly understood and felt the situation was reasonable enough. But in the end, it just wouldnt be the same for sure......
 
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