Your Perfect Wedding Ring OR His??

[dearmissie]

When DF and I started talking about engagement/wedding rings we talked about the styles we both liked. I was open to all kinds of styles, however DF said he preferred me to sport a ring with one stone. He says, "One stone, one true love" and because one big stone is worth more than a bunch of small ones. Then he also stated that he would like the stone to be the type where if it were to be folded in half and quarter, it would be aligned perfectly together. Examples: Princess or Round. When DF and I started talking about engagement/wedding rings we talked about the styles we both liked. I was open to all kinds of styles, however DF said he preferred me to sport a ring with one stone. He says, "One stone, one true love" and because one big stone is worth more than a bunch of small ones. Then he also stated that he would like the stone to be the type where if it were to be folded in half and quarter, it would be aligned perfectly together. Examples: Princess or Round.

The other day when I went to pick out my new engagement ring setting, I met a man who was looking at engagement rings for his GF. He said she wanted a princess cut, be he didn't like it and because it was HIS money, that he was going to buy her what he liked which was a round. I told him, "But it's her ring! She has to wear it!"

What do you ladies think?? Is the ring for him?? Or for her?? (You lucky people who have the same taste are very lucky!!)

The other day when I went to pick out my new engagement ring setting, I met a man who was looking at engagement rings for his GF. He said she wanted a princess cut, be he didn't like it and because it was HIS money, that he was going to buy her what he liked which was a round. I told him, "But it's her ring! She has to wear it!"

What do you ladies think?? Is the ring for him?? Or for her?? (You lucky people who have the same taste are very lucky!!)

 

[barcreperie]

I think I'm glad I'm not the one this man is going to be marrying.

 

[LeeMiller]

^^^
LMAO!!!

 

[dearmissie]

I think I'm glad I'm not the one this man is going to be marrying.

Haha I know. I was like, "You're not wearing it!!" But he didn't care. He felt that if he's paying for it he should have the last say! Ughh!! LOL. I know that weddings are both people, I learned. DF does not want diamonds at all. I kept buying it for him because I liked it, but now I agree. Haha. (well I have to, he lost the 12 diamond band I bought him!) Plus, he's rough on his rings, so a plain band is much more reasonable.

 

[Swanky]

eww! What a jerk! Maybe she'll politely decline
It's a union between TWO people, it's about both of us/you.

DH also digs a solitaire, I WANT him to love my ring as much as me and me getting some side pears isn't as big of a deal as him loving it. We compromised, I got a bigger stone!

Seriously, there's for sure one ring out there that every couple can agree on, I think it's important that they do.

 

[musey]

Then he also stated that he would like the stone to be the type where if it were to be folded in half and quarter, it would be aligned perfectly together. Examples: Princess or Round.

This is pretty much every shape, right? Except hearts and trilliants, I suppose.

What do you ladies think?? Is the ring for him?? Or for her?? (You lucky people who have the same taste are very lucky!!)

If his girlfriend went out and bought him a pearlescent pink VW bug, because it's her money and that's what she likes, would be be happy? I think NOT!

I think it should be about both. I think that if it is really THAT important to a guy, then he should have input. That said, I don't think that a guy should ever make those choices based solely on what he wants. Sure, it's his money (in most cases), but it's his gift to her, so why would he want it to be all about him? I think that, if there are major disagreements about what looks best, all executive decisions should be deferred to her because--like you said--it is her ring.

I just can't comprehend buying someone a gift based solely on one's own tastes. That guy should feel rather foolish giving his girlfriend something that he knows she doesn't want.

 

[musey]

As a side note, FI had no strong feelings about the ring. There were lots that he liked, but it was never an "I want that one" kind of reaction, but rather a "do you like that one? no? okay, let's find one you do!" kinda thing. So I guess that's part of why I just really canNOT comprehend some guy forcing his own tastes onto his girlfriend's (or fiancee's or wife's ) finger.

 

[dearmissie]

I also like the pear shape and the marquise. you cannot fold those into 4s

 

[ilzabet]

i feel there should be a compromise.....but her tastes should influence it more. for example i love really ornate pave antique-y style things, DH thinks they're gaudy. if it were all up to him i probably would have ended up with something very modern looking which is not my style at all. i still got my pave ring, but it's not as big or detailed as if i were going to pick it for myself (well, i did pick it for myself but his tastes influenced it)....and i love it more.

 

[musey]

I also like the pear shape and the marquise. you cannot fold those into 4s

Pear no, but marquise you can! Anything that's symmetrical from side to side AND top to bottom you could do that.

I can't say I understand the whole folding into fours metaphor, though!

 

[dearmissie]

i totally forgot u can with a marquese. my bad. you know the whole folding thing. like take a paper in half, and another half. ull get a perfect fitting. same with a circle. DF just like its to ALL be equal on all sides. thats why he didnt want me to get the marquese as my ering. so instead, i got it for something else! haha!!

 

[musey]

i totally forgot u can with a marquese. my bad. you know the whole folding thing. like take a paper in half, and another half. ull get a perfect fitting.

Haha yes, I understand the concept of folding I guess I just don't get what it has to do with an engagement ring. Symmetry I understand, if that's what he's getting at. I was trying to figure out if folding a shape into fours held some sort of meaningful metaphor for a strong relationship

Like I said before, I have some trouble understanding a guy having such strong feelings about his girl's engagement ring! Asschers weren't my FI's favorite, but he didn't seem to think his "favorites" had anything to do with the selection of my ring. Since, you know, it is my ring--it's sitting on my hand, not his. And he's ended up loving what we ended up choosing, even though it wasn't entirely his taste from the get-go.

Now, if I wanted a skinny heart diamond with a pink sapphire halo, I can see him not being all that jazzed about it. But if I'd wanted that, that's what we would have gotten. Good thing he wouldn't be the one wearing it

All that matters, though, is that both people are happy with the arrangement. If a woman is happy to wear whatever her husband chooses, even if it's not her favorite, then there is no problem. I just am saddened to hear of men who dismiss their lady's favorite just because it's not their 'taste,' for whatever reason.

 

[elizat]

I agree w/ everyone here. It should be a combo. Yes, it is his money, but if someone else has to wear it, that counts. It's like him buying his mother a new Playstation for her birthday when she has no clue what it even is.

 

[dearmissie]

Haha yes, I understand the concept of folding I guess I just don't get what it has to do with an engagement ring. Symmetry I understand, if that's what he's getting at. I was trying to figure out if folding a shape into fours held some sort of meaningful metaphor for a strong relationship

Like I said before, I have some trouble understanding a guy having such strong feelings about his girl's engagement ring! Asschers weren't my FI's favorite, but he didn't seem to think his "favorites" had anything to do with the selection of my ring. Since, you know, it is my ring--it's sitting on my hand, not his. And he's ended up loving what we ended up choosing, even though it wasn't entirely his taste from the get-go.

Now, if I wanted a skinny heart diamond with a pink sapphire halo, I can see him not being all that jazzed about it. But if I'd wanted that, that's what we would have gotten. Good thing he wouldn't be the one wearing it

All that matters, though, is that both people are happy with the arrangement. If a woman is happy to wear whatever her husband chooses, even if it's not her favorite, then there is no problem. I just am saddened to hear of men who dismiss their lady's favorite just because it's not their 'taste,' for whatever reason.

Haha I know what you mean. I guess being all symmetrical and even (equal) to him is a symbol of being equal in all aspects of the marriage. (so woman's right of him. lol) that not one part (or person) of the relationship will be stronger nor weaker than any other part (or person) of the relationship. And yes, I too believe its only fair to compromise and have BOTH parties love the ring!

 

[Kellybag]

There is absolutely no right or wrong answer here, but I can say that marriage is about way more than a ring. I do see both sides to this and understand both sides. It is a difficult one!

I really feel in your case it truly depends on how much getting what you want means to you. To some, it is everything and to others, it is something they can be a bit more flexible on. Only you know that answer deep down.

I can tell you that as you are married and over time, you do see the ring a little differently than when you were waiting to receive yours. I have heard this from countless people.

I hope it works out and makes you both happy in the end.