What is a reasonable "wish list" for a SA?

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I think your list is fine (some lovely items!). For me, if it's something you know you will purchase for sure the moment it becomes available, then it's fine to request because you are sure of what you want (translation, not just asking SAs to look for things you're not 100% sure of), even if it might be something that's readily available :)
 
Your list is fine, I've always given my SA a super long list of items from silk to SLG to shoes to homewares. They just call me whenever something arrives.

With the vase, i think still tell them now, and pay for it when it comes, and ask the store to ship it whenever you want to.

Bags are tricker, since it is competitive, SAs have to draw to who can sell that bag, but if I don't tell my SA that I would like to have that bag, then she won't even go into the draw in the first place.

As long as the list is not a long list of birkins only, the SA are happy to find your items for you.
 
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