What if you no longer like your wedding band?

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Splurgeface

Splurgeface

Pandomaniac!
O.G.
Jul 28, 2010
553
4
#1
I got married very young and we didn't have a lot of money so I opted for a very cheap 9ct gold band with three tiny low carat dull diamonds dotted along it. I wish we'd put more money into the rings and less into other aspects of the wedding because the ring is something that will stay with you and I really dislike mine now! I never wear yellow gold for a start and its just so cheap looking. What's more, I saw it in Argos for £64.99! :D

So here is the question ... what would you do if you really no longer liked your wedding band? Would you still wear it? Would you replace it? Somehow that doesn't seem right either.

What would you do?
 
#2
I'm stuck with mine for the next million years. When we got married, we also did not have a lot of money. Since there are two people getting married, we opted for really nice wedding bands and I didn't get an engagement ring. The bands are really nice; yellow gold, diamonds and our names are in platinum. Very, very nice rings. However, they are probably at least 5-6 mm wide and it feels a little dated (20 years though!).
I broached the subject last year to DH about changing the band and he was so hurt and upset that I will never bring it up again.

Instead, after 20 years I will set aside some of the budget and get a diamond solitaire finally!

It's a decision that only you guys can make for yourself. For some people, it doesn't have to be THE ring that you got married in, it's just a symbol. For others, only THE ring will do.
 
#3
I'm still currently in a wedding band funk, meaning I can't find one that I feel is just right, so in a few years I'll get back to you! :p

I have a friend who strongly disliked her wedding set, her fiance (now husband) picked it out, she put up with it for as long as she could. It's not that she absolutely hated it, it just wasn't her style. Anyway, she brought up the mention of reworking it for their 5 year anniversary and he was open to the idea. They brought it to a jeweler who was able to use the gold and her diamonds from her previous set and make it into a new set. Her new set is lovely and it still means the same to her because the same raw materials were used.

In the case of a less expensive ring, I would more than likely just hang onto it for sentimental value if nothing else.
 
#4
My DH feels that once you change your wedding band, it's no longer the same. Granted, he let me do it anyways.....not once.....THREE times LOL...

I'm now happy with my band & don't see myself changing it at all.

If you can afford something you like and prefer now, I'd say go for it. Hang onto the original as NYC suggested & talk it over with your DH.

Kitsunegrl, your DH is a sweetheart!
 
#5
It's so personal/subjective. . .
I didn't have an webbing 'band' originally. I had an engagement ring and then we had it put into a setting for the wedding. I was early 20's then and had a very different style and did virtually zero research..
About 5 or so yrs ago DH actually brought up changing it, or upgrading. So we did. We could afford more, but it was less about that than it was about it loving the ring. We never intended to go as big as we ended up going and if we didn't have more money I'd have been fine either keeping it or not spending more but just changing the shape of the stone.
The stone doesn't hold the sentimental value for us, the promises we made do and the circles we slipped on our fingers. I know a lot of people are super sentimental about their stone or specific ring, that's cool too :D
 
#6
It is a personal thing. I hear a lot of women talk about "upgrading" their wedding sets. Personally I am very happy with mine - I would have been happy if he married me with a ring out of a gumball machine, though. I did add an anniversary band to it this past November (10 years). I don't think I would ever actually replace my wedding band & engagement ring, they're just too meaningful to me, even though they're just material items.

I think if you're really unhappy, instead of totally replacing it, what about adding something to it? Like an anniversary band, or a diamond (or other gemstone) solitaire? Something to "kick it up a notch" so to speak?
 
#7
I have a plain gold band that I wear when I am riding dicey public transportation or working in a place where bling isn't appropriate/advisable. The idea is that if it's lost or stolen it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Maybe you could get something nicer/bigger for special occasions and use the other one for kicking around or for the gym?
 
#8
I have stackers...so I wear my wedding band sometimes (thin pave eternity) and sometimes I wear others. Although right now I don't wear anything except my ering because my hands are so bloated from being pregnant!

I say get a new ring when you find one you love and start rotating it in.
 
#9
I would suggest you just speak to your husband and say you are looking for a more updated look for your band. I can understand people are sentimental about having the same band or e-ring, but it is not something that has to be the cause of great distress. You are not saying you dont love him, or you don't love being married. you are saying you are not in love with your band! I would talk about maybe agreeing to go pick something more updated out together!
 
#10
i agree with the other posters that it's all in what matters to YOU. i don't think i could ever replace my wedding band/engagement ring because of the sentimental value to me that my husband picked it all out on his own BUT if it was something that i picked out or that he didn't care about then sure, i would. we splurged on our rings because we didn't have to pay for our wedding and that made the difference. my taste HAS changed a bit since receiving my ring 3 years ago (i have princess cut and now prefer rounds), but i'm just going to get an eternity band for 5 yr anniversary an be happy with that :)
 
#11
To be honest he wouldn't mind me replacing it at all, but it wouldn't feel the same to ME to wear a "wedding ring" that he didn't slip onto my finger at our wedding all those years ago. Having said that, I don't wear my wedding band anyway, for reasons already stated. I am quite happy to not wear it but feel a bit disappointed that I don't have a wedding band to show off nor a symbol of my marriage on my finger.
 
#12
I have many wedding bands. I do have my original, the one I got married with, but I no longer wear it. Just keep your original and buy one you know you will wear.
 
#13
I agree, it is a personal decision between you and your husband.

My dh and I got married in 1989 so my style and likes have totally changed since then! My original stone was a pear shape (SO 80's!) and it had a loose prong. After it was fixed I thought they put on a horrible looking huge prong so I just didn't wear it again. While it was getting fixed my parents gave me my grandma's diamond rings and they were so pretty so I just wore them everyday and put away my own ring. My dh asked a few times if I'd wear mine again and I said probably not...

So, this Christmas he gave me a loose diamond and we went together to pick out a setting. It is beautiful and very updated :smile1: Honestly, it probably means more to him than it does to me because I was perfectly happy wearing my grandma's ring. But, I'll wear it!!
 
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