I'm not following this thread anymore. To the people that we're helpful and kind- thank you.
This has turned into much more than I ever thought- obviously I learned my lesson that even though I didn't ask, people will feel the need to throw advice and ridiculous judgements at me, my family help and my relationship.
I know you are asking about carat weights and styles, but some posters are taking ALL information into consideration.
I don't think anyone intends to be nasty or criticize your dreams. Posters are just VERY conscious about what expenses you will have coming up and don't want you to feel bad if you get a stone less than 2 carats. I was in your shoes two years ago, stressed about finding the perfect ring, and waiting a significant amount of time for my now DH to propose. He fortunately doesn't hold any crazy behavior during that time against me.
My husband was also finishing law school, with an impressive GPA from a top 20 law school even. Regardless, we had a Tiffany retail budget and could afford a 1-1.5 carat ring paid in cash. I definitely didn't sacrifice anything with my ring, and in hindsight I am glad we got a FANTASTIC ring about 50% under budget. When we found my Tiffany ring and the price was right, my husband bought it THE NEXT DAY. All of a sudden, he wasn't dragging his feet!
If you are waiting this long for a purchase, either your demands keep changing OR your boyfriend doesn't see the "value" in spending that much quite yet. In previous posts, he was adamantly wanting to purchase from Tiffany. Do you think he was waiting for a style that's more of a "value"... like a diamond that faces up larger than its carat weight and price?
Since you seem drawn to halo style rings, I would consider spending $15k on a 1.5 ct set in a halo setting. If you are going to be engaged for two years and it's not important that you have the "dream wedding" (we did, and I could have a 5 ct stone with nice specs for what it cost), and no emergencies come up then maybe get the best of both worlds with a 2.5 ct solitaire on your first anniversary!
And for general advice for those in a similar position as Rogersa:
I'm just posting this as a newlywed. You would be amazed at what expenses you will still have... and the surprises. Unfortunately, we're a 1-income household right now (fortunately, we have money from investments coming in too and it's my husband that's working) and from my experience, it is a HARD job market for those of us in our 20s. The lower level employees are always the first laid off... and I graduated from a top tier private university with 5 years of management experience even!
You may need to add some of your own savings to your gifted DP to get the home you REALLY want. Or need $$$ for renovations (we renovated our bathroom before even moving in). And the really cool furniture is really expensive... it's easy to spend $15k on a sofa or $8k on a chair when you want everything to be "perfect." It's one thing if your BF just goes out on his own accord and buys a 3 ct ring, and another if he feels like that is what you REALLY want (and expect despite lip service otherwise). He might want to spend the difference on things you could both enjoy during this special time in your lives... like a $20k honeymoon to the Maldives, a new car, upgraded kitchen, or furniture to fill up your new home.