Switching SA in the same store

[RitaLA]

Hello everyone! Hope you are well and healthy.
I do understand that this topic might have been endlessly discussed here in this forum, but I am having a hard time coming up with authentic and emotionally intelligent "wording" to talk to my H SA about switching SAs. I can have the authentic piece down but I am not knowing how to word it in a way that might convey the message in a kind way. I know some people are blunt and straightforward forward and they see H relationships as utilitarian and transactional. I can be VERY blunt and straightforward and that is exactly what I am trying to avoid. I think there is a large piece of utilitarian and transactional parts to it, after all, they are a business. But I am working with a human being and I cannot deny that component. Bottom line: I met my SA last year and she wasn't referred by anyone in specific. I moved to Vegas and I met her. Now, two years down the road, I met another SA 6 months ago that I just simply adore and we work very very well together. He is a delight to work with. We just connect and I love going to the store to chat and purchase items from him. Of all the stores I worked with, he is the best. So now, I asked him if he can be my SA and of course, he said yes but asked me to talk to my current SA who works at the same store. Two years ago, I went through a similar process but it was a bit different because I was moving from CA to the Midwest. So I wrote an email to my SA saying that I would be switching stores due to the logistics. That was an easy breakup because the reason was obvious. Now, in this situation, the matter is more subjective and I think that's where I am stuck. I am feeling bad for working with her for two years and suddenly finding someone that I work better with. I am not knowing how to word it to her.
Please, I would like to ask for kindness. If you think this is a "first world" problem (which it is) and tell me to take a hike, skip this thread and move on.
I really don't need people telling me that I am fretting over nonsense or criticizing me for caring about the impact of my words on another human being.
If you simply don't care, cool. You don't need to express it.
Thank you for your input!

 

[880]

A friend of mine had this issue. I asked my SA (who is an assistant manager at my local flagship H) how it should be handled. He said simply start slowly shopping with the new SA and phase out the old one. (She started by shopping on her old SAs days off, and then it became organic, so no longer an issue). His reasoning is that at the end of the day, your boutique wishes to keep you as a client, and a client always has the prerogative to shop with whomever that person wishes. He did indicate that this is not unusual. Same as if your SA was on vacation or medical leave. Since you wish to comply with your new SA’s request to let your old SA know, I would make it extremely short and polite, like Just wanted to let you know, I’ve clicked with X, so going forward I’ll be shopping with him. It’s also possible that your old SA already knows since you’ve been working with him for six monthsm and your actions will speak for themselves, but that is JMO.

ETA: I personally would not spell it out in black and white for reasons stated above, and I agree with @acrowcounted and @Love Of My Life below that it could end up being more difficulty and drama, but of course everyone handles things differently. An SA relationship is not a marriage and one can show respect without uncomfortable explanations.

 

[hopiko]

Tough situation. I would am exactly like you....honest, blunt and straightforward but also empathetic. I would say something along the lines of " I enjoy working with you but when you were not available, I have worked with X and he and I really jelled. He reminds me of my XXXXX (insert important person in your life here) and feel more connected to him. While our relationship has been wonderful, I wanted to let you know that I am planning to work with XXXXX in the future as I am more comfortable in this relationship. Thanks for friendship and terrific service.

Then, make sure you go to the store on his/her days off for a bit so you don't have that awkward encounter.

Good luck and let us know what happens!

 

[acrowcounted]

The fact that the new SA is putting this on you is pretty sh!tty and I honestly would be leery to work with this new person going forward. It should have just been as simple as you call and set appointments only with the new SA and the old one kinda just gets the hint after a while. But new SA asking you to talk to old SA about it…drama, no thanks!

 

[RitaLA]

A friend of mine had this issue. I asked my SA (who is an assistant manager at my local flagship H) how it should be handled. He said simply start slowly shopping with the new SA and phase out the old one. (She started by shopping on her old SAs days off, and then it became organic, so no longer an issue). His reasoning is that at the end of the day, your boutique wishes to keep you as a client, and a client always has the prerogative to shop with whomever that person wishes. He did indicate that this is not unusual. Same as if your SA was on vacation or medical leave. Since you wish to comply with your new SA’s request to let your old SA know, I would make it extremely short and polite, like Just wanted to let you know, I’ve clicked with X, so going forward I’ll be shopping with him. It’s also possible that your old SA already knows since you’ve been working with him for six monthsm and your actions will speak for themselves, but that is JMO.

Thank you so much for your time and input! I appreciate it!

 

[RitaLA]

Tough situation. I would am exactly like you....honest, blunt and straightforward but also empathetic. I would say something along the lines of " I enjoy working with you but when you were not available, I have worked with X and he and I really jelled. He reminds me of my XXXXX (insert important person in your life here) and feel more connected to him. While our relationship has been wonderful, I wanted to let you know that I am planning to work with XXXXX in the future as I am more comfortable in this relationship. Thanks for friendship and terrific service.

Then, make sure you go to the store on his/her days off for a bit so you don't have that awkward encounter.

Good luck and let us know what happens!

That's really good! It actually reminded me that I started working with him during her maternity leave. THANK YOU!

 

[RitaLA]

The fact that the new SA is putting this on you is pretty sh!tty and I honestly would be leery to work with this new person going forward. It should have just been as simple as you call and set appointments only with the new SA and the old one kinda just gets the hint after a while. But new SA asking you to talk to old SA about it…drama, no thanks!

I see where you are coming from but I think he might be trying to avoid the drama by me being transparent and honest with my SA. I do like her and she has been good to me, but it's just not the same. I need to gather my logical side together and face the situation. Ugh ... Thank you for your perspective. I appreciate you

 

[lill_canele]

The fact that the new SA is putting this on you is pretty sh!tty and I honestly would be leery to work with this new person going forward. It should have just been as simple as you call and set appointments only with the new SA and the old one kinda just gets the hint after a while. But new SA asking you to talk to old SA about it…drama, no thanks!

I see where you are coming from but I think he might be trying to avoid the drama by me being transparent and honest with my SA. I do like her and she has been good to me, but it's just not the same. I need to gather my logical side together and face the situation. Ugh ... Thank you for your perspective. I appreciate you

In this situation, I actually think that if I wanted to be the one to change SA's, then it's on me to initiative and finalize that change.
If it something that I want to do, then I have to take the responsibility, actions, and potential consequences of doing so.

It would be a different story if an SA wants me to be his or her client when I already have an SA. That is something internal that the SA needs to figure out. (kind of have been in this situation before, but I just stick with my SA and just ignore the other one entirely lol)

Or if I can create a similar but not exact scenario.
I have Bob as a lead on a project. Then I've realized that Mary is more suitable to be in that role, not only skill-wise but also relationship wise with others. I think it's better for the outcome of the project and those working on it for the lead to change from Bob to Mary. Well, then, if it's something that I want to do and no one else came up to me to ask me to change anything, then I'm going to have to be the one to start it. So what I would do is go to Mary and explain how her skill set and relationship with others is more suitable and ask her if she would like to take the role. If she agrees and wants to do it, I go to Bob and respectfully acknowledges his work and efforts and emphasize that it's not that his performance is poor in any way, it's more about what works best for the team and the project. And tell him I would like to transition him out of that role in order for him to focus more on what he's good at and let Mary phase in and take over that role.
At the end of the day, no one is losing their job or a title, it's just a change in tasks.

From another perspective:
At the end of the day, it's just a transfer of the client (you) to another SA. No one is getting in trouble, losing their job, or their main roles and responsibilities. I think just clear and respectful communication (when the time is right), is sufficient. And the fact that you are asking means you care and you don't want to rub people off the wrong way, which I think is a good thing.

 

[Love Of My Life]

I think your new SA is creating a situation that is challenging for you to find the "right words"
& is causing some stress that should not take place. You are an H client & should enjoy your
shopping experience with your choice of SA.
With that being said, your former SA probably is aware that you are not shopping with her in
your usual manner.
SA's understand these situations at times more than we give them credit for.
I would just text her simply being as candid as possible. Whatever words you will likely
come up with may sting for the moment but this shall pass.

 

[RitaLA]

In this situation, I actually think that if I wanted to be the one to change SA's, then it's on me to initiative and finalize that change.
If it something that I want to do, then I have to take the responsibility, actions, and potential consequences of doing so.

It would be a different story if an SA wants me to be his or her client when I already have an SA. That is something internal that the SA needs to figure out. (kind of have been in this situation before, but I just stick with my SA and just ignore the other one entirely lol)

Or if I can create a similar but not exact scenario.
I have Bob as a lead on a project. Then I've realized that Mary is more suitable to be in that role, not only skill-wise but also relationship wise with others. I think it's better for the outcome of the project and those working on it for the lead to change from Bob to Mary. Well, then, if it's something that I want to do and no one else came up to me to ask me to change anything, then I'm going to have to be the one to start it. So what I would do is go to Mary and explain how her skill set and relationship with others is more suitable and ask her if she would like to take the role. If she agrees and wants to do it, I go to Bob and respectfully acknowledges his work and efforts and emphasize that it's not that his performance is poor in any way, it's more about what works best for the team and the project. And tell him I would like to transition him out of that role in order for him to focus more on what he's good at and let Mary phase in and take over that role.
At the end of the day, no one is losing their job or a title, it's just a change in tasks.

From another perspective:
At the end of the day, it's just a transfer of the client (you) to another SA. No one is getting in trouble, losing their job, or their main roles and responsibilities. I think just clear and respectful communication (when the time is right), is sufficient. And the fact that you are asking means you care and you don't want to rub people off the wrong way, which I think is a good thing.

Excellent analogy! Thank you! Yes, I do care and I know how cold and logical I can be but I want my current SA to feel honored and respected for the time and service that she has provided. Thank you very very much! Great insight.

 

[lill_canele]

Anyway, regarding your scenario. I think this has happened to me in Fendi.
I walked in, the SA introduced herself to me and gave me her contact info. I never really spoke to her after that and didn't think much about it after.
Some time passed, I walked in another time, met another SA and we got along beautifully and I loved her personality and energy. I definitely liked this 2nd SA more (let's call her Katie). And so I texted Katie and ask her what days she worked and went in on the days she was working.
I honestly never really thought about the 1st SA because we never communicated after the 1st meeting, never talked about items or purchasing etc. I wasn't that serious about it and she didn't show any intention of keeping me as a client.

But the day I walked in when both were there and went to see Katie, the look in the 1st SA's eyes were like daggers. Boy, she was pissed. I'm not sure if she assumed that I was her client after meeting her once, but she probably did by the look on her face.

I gave Fendi a bit of a break and would eventually go back to see Katie, and after a couple of glares from the 1st SA, she stopped giving me looks. Probably finally let it go.

While I am very loyal to my SA's and will only purchase from them: Whether I get assigned an SA or not, at the end of the day, I go to who I like, and I suppose, I chose my SA.

Anyway, just a story of my experience. Hope it was a fun read for everyone.

 

[RitaLA]

I think your new SA is creating a situation that is challenging for you to find the "right words"
& is causing some stress that should not take place. You are an H client & should enjoy your
shopping experience with your choice of SA.
With that being said, your former SA probably is aware that you are not shopping with her in
your usual manner.
SA's understand these situations at times more than we give them credit for.
I would just text her simply being as candid as possible. Whatever words you will likely
come up with may sting for the moment but this shall pass.

Thank you! I am the one struggling to find the right words. LOL Zooming out of the situation, it seems pretty black and white, but for some reason, I am having a hard time wording my "break up." A part of me says the following in my head, "Hey yo ... great working with you but we don't really jell. Know what I'm saying? So, peace out." LOL The other part of me wants to put the same words in a nice bow to carefully word it in a way that communicates respect. I am not saying that you suggested to approach with a lack of respect. not at all. I am just describing my dilemma. My end goal is to be respectful but for some reason, I am not finding the words to say it properly. Thank you for your input!

 

[RitaLA]

This is all very interesting. I am realizing how avoidant I am. If I had to send her a text message and put this in writing, I would be totally fine, but I was planning to go to the store and talk to her in person, which I think is best since I might bump into her in the future. I am realizing that the conversational piece is what bothering me. Anywho ... I don't want to make this bigger than it actually is. I just wanted to brainstorm ways to phrase my "moving on. Nice meeting you."
Thank you all

 

[Love Of My Life]

Excellent analogy! Thank you! Yes, I do care and I know how cold and logical I can be but I want my current SA to feel honored and respected for the time and service that she has provided. Thank you very very much! Great insight.

Just pm'd you..

 

[A bottle of Red]

The fact that you met the other Sa while the original was on maternity leave makes it easier I think. You can just let her know you met the other Sa while she was on maternity leave and you really work well together so going forward you will stay with him.
I hope it goes smoothly for you