Sad realization...

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AlbertsLove

AlbertsLove

O.G.
Jul 5, 2007
2,212
70
#1
I have long been dreaming about getting engaged.. but I have come to realized that I will never have my dream ring. I am shallow? A big dreamer? I was born into a very poor family. I know work and go to school my dream is to become a teacher. My boyfriend for 3 years is a school bus driver. He make enough for us to make a happy home. But he will never be able to buy me a Tiffany Engagement ring. I saw them this week and feel in love. He would never be able to afford it, and a part of me does not want him to buy it. But I dream of it. In its little box. He promised that no matter what he would get me a real ring, but I know he will never consider a Tiffany. I love him, he is amazing, he loves his job and I know he is happy. I am happy, but It is sad to think that I could never have my dream ring. I should be happy to get any ring from him, and I would be, but oh a tiffany ring. They are so bright and shiny, I felt like I was a deer stuck in a headlight:faint:. I am being evil, here. Am I a ungrateful person?
What do you guys think about the amount of money being spent in e-rings? Is there any guilt? How much is okay to spend, or how much should be spent? For those ladies who have Tiffany Engagement Rings, are your hubby wealthy? or am I over thinking this?:confused1:
 
#2
What matters is that you have a SO that you love. Rings are just objects, and the brand, the carats etc don't really matter. Do you know how many women with huge diamonds are unhappy, and their marriages fall apart? If this ring is your dream but you know you can't afford it, why not start your own ring fund, and save a little money every month (lets say 20 $ every month). After a few years you will be able to afford it, or your SO, or you will make more money and be able to buy it sooner than you think. We all have to work for our dreams. And without dreams and aspirations life is not worth living for. Set a goal and work for it!!! Imagine the pleasure and joy you will feel after you buy this ring. It doesn't have to be an "engagement" ring, but it will be your dream come true ring.
 
#3
Coming from someone who has gone through this stage...the ring seems very important at the stage you are at, but as you travel through time your viewpoint will change a little. It is lovely to have this dream ring, but you will see other things are much more important.
Why don't you consider a different ring from Tiffanys, but still a gorgeous ring?
How about a Celebration Ring?
http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Category.aspx?cid=287462&mcat=148210
Choose one in your price point that will make the both of you happy and not cripple your finances. It will still sparkle like crazy and you will feel great that it is from Tiffanys as that is your dream.
Then, as a few years pass and your finances change you can either add another band and stack them or possibly purchase your solitaire you now have your eyes on.
There are no rules on how to do it. Choose what makes you happy. Some women only have one ring and some have many.
Best of Luck!
Congratulations, you have someone who loves you!!!
 
#4
Hi AlbersLove, Please cheer up, we all have dreams, but what is important is to be patient and work step by step to achieve them ... It will take time but that's ok because you will be looking forward to that special day when you will be able to buy your dream ring and who know maybe with time you might change your mind/taste and want something else..As for now why don't you get from Tiffaney's a ring within your budget and believe me regardless how simple it might be, it will fill your heart with joy.....you sound like you really want that ring but it is only a ring, you have something more precious which is your boyfriend who loves you....
BTW Lily25's idea of starting a fund sounds really good....
Good luck and congratulations
 
#5
Albertslove, I understand where you are coming from....who wouldn't love a beautiful Tiffany engagement ring? I was searching for one (privately, DH didnt know) and what he ended up gettng me made me just as happy because its what he chose for me....and to me that meant more than a Tiffany diamond. It is a gorgeous ring from a reputable jewelery store and I am beyond proud to wear it...even if its not from Tiffanys. I hope you get what you want but in case you get a different ring, I'm sure you'll love whatever he gets for you because of how much you obviously love him.:heart:
 
#7
I know where you are coming from...you are dreaming of something and not just any old thing will do. I remember being in your position years ago. My gentle suggestion would be to remember what's important about being married and that's definitely the person. The ring won't make you happy but the right person will! I love Tiffany's too, so I understand the gazing and longing at their rings. But I also have schooling through GIA specifically for diamonds, and even though I LOVE Tiffany's, you are truly paying for the name and the box with an engagement ring! There are certain items at Tiffany's that are for the design, etc., and can't be purchased elsewhere but with most Tiffany engagement rings, the same ring (color, clarity, carat, cut) can be purchased elsewhere for a lot less! If money's no object well by all means I understand why someone would go for it, but when money matters you can certainly have a similar design and stone for a significant amount less somewhere else.

You can always treat yourself later to something from Tiffany's when it's more affordable or a smaller trinket now.

The person is really what matters, not the ring. I remember what it's like to think soooo much about the ring but I can promise you - it's not important. The biggest ring in the world won't make you happy like the right person does!

I hope you feel better about everything soon...
 
#8
I don't know if you realize this, but tiffany diamond rings can be found on ebay for as little as $800 in platinum. The ones I have seen are around .22 carats and look lovely. Most have box, papers, etc. They usually have the carat weight engraved into the inside of the band, too with the tiffany hallmark. This way you can get the ring of your dreams for less $$ and get the sparkle factor.

I would have no problem at all getting tiffany quality this way (I have been looking too)!! I am sure your fiance will be happy that you are looking out for your future together by being practical.

Just be sure you pay with cc with paypal to make sure you get exactly what you pay for and are happy with your purchase.:smile1:
 
#9
Marry the man of your dreams, not the ring of your dreams! The ring can always be bought later. Who's to say you can get it as an anniversary gift later on? By the way, on the Canadian Home Shopping Channel (www.theshoppingchannel.com), they sell one that is a drop dead double of the Tiffany RB solitaire for less than $200 Canadian. It's even an ideal cut, top quality cubic 14 carat gold ring. It's in the "Dimonelle" collection. I have a real Tiffany 1.5 ct solitaire, but would be just as happy to own the Shopping Channel one because it looks exactly like mine, but costs soooo much less. Maybe you can wear something like that for now and replace it with the Tiffany ring later, nobody would know the difference. Best wishes to you!
 
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#10
I can understand how much you desire a Tiffany engagement ring. I think it is something you can strive for in your future.
This is my little story. When we got married, we did not have the money for a very nice engagement ring. Plus, there are two people getting married not one. So we decided to get two nice wedding bands instead. Next year, we will have been married for 20 years. I still do not have an engagement ring. We have been in the position to get a very nice ring for me, but I just haven't really wanted one. Now, I have decided that I would like to get the Tiffany Swing Celebration Ring with diamonds & sapphires for my 20 year gift. I will have to save a little for it, but we are in a much better financial system to be able to get a nice ring without guilt.
I hope my little story might help you! :)
 
#11
Kellybag said:
Coming from someone who has gone through this stage...the ring seems very important at the stage you are at, but as you travel through time your viewpoint will change a little. It is lovely to have this dream ring, but you will see other things are much more important.
Click to expand...

:tup:
That is absolutely right.

My husband and I have had ups and downs financially (he's in a volatile business), and though I have a lovely enough ring, it's hardly been the most important thing in our marriage.

Honestly, there have been periods of time when I have rarely worn the ring-- not because I don't respect the symbol or because I don't like it, but because wearing it hasn't meshed with a lifestyle of being elbow deep in diapers or teaching a toddler to ski.

At the time we got engaged, I thought there couldn't be anything better and more exciting than the ring and the event. When we were married, I thought that topped everything. But looking back now, nothing has been more transcendent and wonderful and important than the birth of each of our children. I would choose to replay the moments when I first saw my red-faced, squalling, precious boys over a ring any day. In fact, I am pretty sure I will never top those moments in the delivery room.

So while the ring is exciting and fun, there is SO much more to look forward to. And so much more that will define your marriage and the pleasure and happy memories you take from it.

btw: I agree with the person who suggested the Tiffany Celebration rings. You might be able to afford one in your budget, get the tiffany box, and have something beautiful and special and sparkly, just not a solitaire. (For now.)
 
#12
ggirl said:
I don't know if you realize this, but tiffany diamond rings can be found on ebay for as little as $800 in platinum. The ones I have seen are around .22 carats and look lovely. Most have box, papers, etc. They usually have the carat weight engraved into the inside of the band, too with the tiffany hallmark. This way you can get the ring of your dreams for less $$ and get the sparkle factor.

I would have no problem at all getting tiffany quality this way (I have been looking too)!! I am sure your fiance will be happy that you are looking out for your future together by being practical.

Just be sure you pay with cc with paypal to make sure you get exactly what you pay for and are happy with your purchase.:smile1:
Click to expand...

Yes, this is a good idea. Diamonds are pretty and sparkly and shiny and everything, but they are worth so little in the long run that even Tiffany diamonds are worth little to nothing on the resale market--a mere fraction of what they initially cost. But with Tiffany you're also paying for the name, so I'm sure that adds to the depreciation. Why not consider a ring that looks like a Tiffany but is made by a different company? Not a counterfeit ring, but merely an inspired one? I don't know the names of places that sell these right off hand, but...if I'm not mistaken, others have posted about them in the past. Or...what about buying your own ring? I know this sounds revolutionary to some, but if I had been so unhappy with the ring my fiance picked out for me, or if I knew I wanted a ring that cost way more than my BF could afford, for example, I would have considered paying the difference myself, or buying the ring myself outright.

Good luck!
 
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#13
^^^^
Great idea. I've also seen some Tiffany engagement rings on Signed Pieces. There's nothing wrong with buying a "second hand" diamond. So many diamonds are reborn into new rings from old ones, anyway.
 
#14
lily25 said:
What matters is that you have a SO that you love. Rings are just objects, and the brand, the carats etc don't really matter. Do you know how many women with huge diamonds are unhappy, and their marriages fall apart? If this ring is your dream but you know you can't afford it, why not start your own ring fund, and save a little money every month (lets say 20 $ every month). After a few years you will be able to afford it, or your SO, or you will make more money and be able to buy it sooner than you think. We all have to work for our dreams. And without dreams and aspirations life is not worth living for. Set a goal and work for it!!! Imagine the pleasure and joy you will feel after you buy this ring. It doesn't have to be an "engagement" ring, but it will be your dream come true ring.
Click to expand...

I have thought about that.. but I thought maybe it took out the whole surprise factor. I know he would choose an amazing ring, but I have bever seen a ring that sparkles like the Tiffany. It had like color inside. They even look chubbier. Oh by the way for out 3 year anniversary he did buy me solitaire from whitehall. They are closing down and gave him a great deal. The problem is that I have gained tons of weight and the ring did not fit. So I am debating on wether to wait until I loose weight or get it resize. I mean I think it would look a lot smaller if the bad got bigger. He is an amzing guy but he believes that there are want and needs. Is there a problem with using my promised ring and convert it into a e-ring?
 
#15
ggirl said:
I don't know if you realize this, but tiffany diamond rings can be found on ebay for as little as $800 in platinum. The ones I have seen are around .22 carats and look lovely. Most have box, papers, etc. They usually have the carat weight engraved into the inside of the band, too with the tiffany hallmark. This way you can get the ring of your dreams for less $$ and get the sparkle factor.

I would have no problem at all getting tiffany quality this way (I have been looking too)!! I am sure your fiance will be happy that you are looking out for your future together by being practical.

Just be sure you pay with cc with paypal to make sure you get exactly what you pay for and are happy with your purchase.:smile1:
Click to expand...
This sounds like a great idea, but I am not sure if I know if its real. I would hate to not know. I am even afraid of getting a ring re sized cause I think it would be swapped... Have u bought one of bay?
 
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