Yes, but have none of your friends, married or otherwise, had custom jewelry made for them other than wedding jewelry? A jeweler who is good does other things besides setting engagement rings.
If you don't want to go to Pricescope, (where they will send you to jewelers that you have to mail your jewelry to), perhaps you can look up jewelers in your area and then search online to see reviews of their work--if you google you can find sites where people review their experiences with various businesses.
And even if someone has been married twenty years, the jeweler who set their stone might still be in business. From what it sounded like, your mother has gorgeous jewelry--who maintains her pieces?
On P'scope they always mention Leon Mege. He is expensive but from what I remember, you had a pretty amazing stone and a very good budget--maybe he would be the one for you?
With the quality that your stone sounded like and the price you paid and the high end jewelers you were first exploring, I just don't think Jared is going to be up to your standards. You ended up with the right stone for you and I am sending up a little prayer right now that you will also find a setting that will make you very, very happy. It's out there somewhere!