Is it wrong to ask for a designer bag as a gift when someone asks?

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klb4556

klb4556

O.G.
May 18, 2009
2,083
119
#1
Hi everyone! I tried to find a similar thread, so I apologize if I missed one.

But I'm having people like my boyfriend and his mom and others ask what I want for Christmas, saying they "need ideas". Why tell them something you don't really want?

So, my question is: what is your stance on asking for a designer bag as a gift?

Just an fyi, the one I asked for is 230.. not too high. Even though he's my long term boyfriend, I still feel semi-guilty.

There are things he spends LOTS of money on, hobbies.. etc and I don't judge him because that's what he loves, just hope some people don't think the liking nice handbag-thing is too much.


opinions?

thanks!
 
#2
Ah.
The "what do you want as a present?" scenario.
Annoys the *bleeeeeeeeep* out of me.

Basically, I give list of several items, different price categories.
And let person choose comfort zone.
If several questioners get same list, can decide amongst themselves who wants to buy what.
This avoids those quaint little arguments about, "But, don't you want this instead?"

However, there's usually a rogue gifter. Who ignores my suggestions completely.
And buys foot massager machine.
Which becomes money, when returned--to buy what I want later.
Magic!

Either way, all works out.
Keep heart. :)
 
#3
klb4556 said:
Hi everyone! I tried to find a similar thread, so I apologize if I missed one.

But I'm having people like my boyfriend and his mom and others ask what I want for Christmas, saying they "need ideas". Why tell them something you don't really want?

So, my question is: what is your stance on asking for a designer bag as a gift?

Just an fyi, the one I asked for is 230.. not too high. Even though he's my long term boyfriend, I still feel semi-guilty.

There are things he spends LOTS of money on, hobbies.. etc and I don't judge him because that's what he loves, just hope some people don't think the liking nice handbag-thing is too much.


opinions?

thanks!
Click to expand...
i think for boyfriends and DHs, there is really no limit, it depends on personality. Some guys like to surprise their wives with jawdropping jewelry, like Richard Burton for Liz Taylor. Some guys are thrifty so they won't be comfortable.

For relatives though, esp in-laws, I'd be a lot more careful. In those scenarios, gift cards may be better.

I'm one of those weirdos that doesn't like people to spend on me though. I do plenty of that myself. I prefer handmade gifts and acts of service e.g. babysitting, tech support or web research.
 
#4
Not at all (from your long term boyfriend) - assuming you can get him to give you a price range and what you ask for falls within it.

My husband hates to shop so he tells me to pick out something and tell him exactly what I want and where to get it (or we go together to buy it and he pays).

Last few Christmases and birthdays I've picked a purse or SLG (some MK and a couple of LV) and when it's his turn he gets something of around that same value for his hobbies.

Other friends and relatives, I wouldn't ask for something that expensive - but I think it would be OK to say there is something specific you want and ask them to give you a gift card toward it.
 
#5
It probably depends on your relationship. I have no shame showing my SO the bag I'm interested in, especially if he asks for suggestions. There's not really anyone else I would ask though, my family would never have the money, and I'm not close enough to anyone else to get them to spend that kind of $$$ on me.
 
#6
Miss Meow said:
Not at all (from your long term boyfriend) - assuming you can get him to give you a price range and what you ask for falls within it.

My husband hates to shop so he tells me to pick out something and tell him exactly what I want and where to get it (or we go together to buy it and he pays).

Last few Christmases and birthdays I've picked a purse or SLG (some MK and a couple of LV) and when it's his turn he gets something of around that same value for his hobbies.

Other friends and relatives, I wouldn't ask for something that expensive - but I think it would be OK to say there is something specific you want and ask them to give you a gift card toward it.
Click to expand...

I second this!
 
#7
When I normally get asked that question, my response is usually along the lines of "a gift from the heart is a lot more precious than something that I can get myself later on" or "I want you to be here to celebrate x occasion with me" or something similar to those two responses. Although I really want that Rolex, or that Hermes bag or that Lamborghini, I would rather my friends friendship rather than material goods.
 
#8
miss meow said:
not at all (from your long term boyfriend) - assuming you can get him to give you a price range and what you ask for falls within it.

My husband hates to shop so he tells me to pick out something and tell him exactly what i want and where to get it (or we go together to buy it and he pays).

Last few christmases and birthdays i've picked a purse or slg (some mk and a couple of lv) and when it's his turn he gets something of around that same value for his hobbies.

Other friends and relatives, i wouldn't ask for something that expensive - but i think it would be ok to say there is something specific you want and ask them to give you a gift card toward it.
Click to expand...

+1
I don't think I ever mention anything designer in front of my MIL when she asked what I want. Just a token gift is fine with me when it comes to gifts from the inlaws and friends.
 
#9
I most definitely think it depends on who is fielding the question. My oldest daughter for instance? she'll drop exact names, info... we are both purse people so no harm there.

The DH usually wants me to buy myself something vs him.. he has done some but he finds the shops intimidating and uncomfortable.

when the inlaws were involved(sadly, one critically ill and one has passed) i would keep things simple, they would have neither understood nor wanted to purchase designer anything.
 
#11
I've been married for 19 years, and I don't think that I've ever told my in-laws what to buy me when they ask. I tell them to focus on the kids. Usually, they just give me a card with $100.
I tell my husband to get me something that he would like me to have. Since he's into electronics, that's what I usually get.
 
#12
klb4556 said:
Hi everyone! I tried to find a similar thread, so I apologize if I missed one.

But I'm having people like my boyfriend and his mom and others ask what I want for Christmas, saying they "need ideas". Why tell them something you don't really want?

So, my question is: what is your stance on asking for a designer bag as a gift?

Just an fyi, the one I asked for is 230.. not too high. Even though he's my long term boyfriend, I still feel semi-guilty.

There are things he spends LOTS of money on, hobbies.. etc and I don't judge him because that's what he loves, just hope some people don't think the liking nice handbag-thing is too much.


opinions?

thanks!
Click to expand...

I don't think $230 is bad at all. I think it's okay to ask of long term BF or husband. I wouldn't ask my in laws though.. And I agree with the previous comment, I would give the in-laws list of gifts with a range of prices and let them pick :)
 
#13
L.Vuitton.Freak said:
When I normally get asked that question, my response is usually along the lines of "a gift from the heart is a lot more precious than something that I can get myself later on" or "I want you to be here to celebrate x occasion with me" or something similar to those two responses. Although I really want that Rolex, or that Hermes bag or that Lamborghini, I would rather my friends friendship rather than material goods.
Click to expand...

My thoughts too.

My in-laws live in a different country so give some money towards the trip of visiting them and that's usually stuffed into something when our backs are turned, anything else I'd only accept a nominal item. If asked, I'd bat their question right back "whatever you buy me I'm sure it'll be wonderful"

Although it's not wrong at all, but if it's only $xxx then I'd rather buy for myself
 
#14
I hate to sound like a scrooge, but I really hate it when people ask me what I want as a gift. To be quite honest, I just want cold hard cash! I'm a deal shopper, and it pains me to know a family member spent full price on an item when I could've gotten it for less.

Since I work, it just feels wrong for me to ask someone who doesn't work (e.g. my MIL) for a luxury item. But she loves shopping nonetheless.
 
#15
If it's DH, I'm shamelessly telling him what I exactly want. Well, it's not like he's going to gift me that anyway. He's not big on purse, but it's fun to tell him just in case someday it may come true. :) But if it's anybody else, I just simply tell them whatever is ok. It's the heart that comes with it and it's true, too. :)
 
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