Your message isn’t showing up in the quote, but I wanted to say, I understand. This is my escape too, as a stay home mom. You’re not alone!
How does it make you feel when you get a new handbag or in the process of planning to buy one?
- Thread starter RitaLA
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It is very hard. I am not a stay home mom and I couldn’t say I relate but as a very intuitive person I think I can have some insight and I can have a glimpse. It is very comfortable and convenient for people outside your worlds to judge but only you guys know what the triggers are. So it might take some introspection to sit down and understand what is going on inside to see what is that the shopping is providing, what kind of feeling is that the handbag purchasing is giving you that makes you hold on to it? To me, it was self steem. It was a long story. It doesn’t create the same feelings for everyone. That’s what helped me with so I had to re create my self esteem from someme where else because I cannot rely on handbags to do that for me. But others might do it for fun. I don’t know
This is a great thread. I can identify with so much of what is said.
For me, it’s definitely the thrill of the buy. The process of going into the store, chatting with the SA and seeing what’s on offer. Somehow you’re lulled into this surreal bubble where it seems perfectly normal to pay thousands for a bag!
I find it’s really hard to go back to contemporary brands once you’ve started the luxury route. And because I’ve “invested” so much in certain bags, I try to rotate through them and my less expensive contemporary brands are ignored.
And as @Annawakes said, once you’ve paid for one $4000 HG bag, that $2000 one next to it doesn’t seem so pricey anymore. Not to mention the designer shoes and belts that “only” cost a fraction of the bag price. Pretty scary how quickly our brain adjusts. Which is also why I think it’s better not to go down the luxury route too early in life.
We talk of ban island and purse peace but I think to really turn off that buy switch, we have to stop looking. If you don’t see it, you won’t want it or miss it. Rewire our brain to look for other stimulus. That’s the theory anyway. [emoji51]
For me, it’s definitely the thrill of the buy. The process of going into the store, chatting with the SA and seeing what’s on offer. Somehow you’re lulled into this surreal bubble where it seems perfectly normal to pay thousands for a bag!
I find it’s really hard to go back to contemporary brands once you’ve started the luxury route. And because I’ve “invested” so much in certain bags, I try to rotate through them and my less expensive contemporary brands are ignored.
And as @Annawakes said, once you’ve paid for one $4000 HG bag, that $2000 one next to it doesn’t seem so pricey anymore. Not to mention the designer shoes and belts that “only” cost a fraction of the bag price. Pretty scary how quickly our brain adjusts. Which is also why I think it’s better not to go down the luxury route too early in life.
We talk of ban island and purse peace but I think to really turn off that buy switch, we have to stop looking. If you don’t see it, you won’t want it or miss it. Rewire our brain to look for other stimulus. That’s the theory anyway. [emoji51]
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+1 on this.This is a great thread. I can identify with so much of what is said.
For me, it’s definitely the thrill of the buy. The process of going into the store, chatting with the SA and seeing what’s on offer. Somehow you’re lulled into this surreal bubble where it seems perfectly normal to pay thousands for a bag!
I find it’s really hard to go back to contemporary brands once you’ve started the luxury route. And because I’ve “invested” so much in certain bags, I try to rotate through them and my less expensive contemporary brands are ignored.
And as @Annawakes said, once you’ve paid for one $4000 HG bag, that $2000 one next to it doesn’t seem so pricey anymore. Not to mention the designer shoes and belts that “only” cost a fraction of the bag price. Pretty scary how quickly our brain adjusts. Which is also why I think it’s better not to go down the luxury route too early in life.
We talk of ban island and purse peace but I think to really turn off that buy switch, we have to stop looking. If you don’t see it, you won’t want it or miss it. Rewire our brain to look for other stimulus. That’s the theory anyway. [emoji51]
After I started buying Hermes, everything else is affordable. My wake up call happened right after I bought my Ostrich Kelly. I suddenly was on an exotic Hermes kick and I want to get a Birkin Touch next because at $17,000 price point, it is reasonable... Then I was like, OMG WHO AM I? Back in the day, I almost freaked out when I found out the Chanel bag I’ve been eyeing from a storefront costs $2,500.
I am now on a serious bag ban and refocusing on self enrichment rather than instant gratification.
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HI! I'm not sure if you were quoting me or not, but thank you for that thoughtful response. I would say my I more look at bags (online) than shop, coming here to look at the bags etc is an escape for me. If I had the money, for sure I would be buying, buying, buying bags. It would be an escape from the daily stresses I have lately, sorry I don't want to hijack this thread. But feeling like I have to be attached to her 24/7 and always having to be the calm reasonable one can be hard, my son has ASD and I'm a single parent so I do feel a lot of stress. I can very easily see myself just getting in the car and being very happy about the fact that I was going to be shopping for a new bag. So for me, buying bags would be directly related to how much stress I was feeling.
Good thread you guys! 
Thanks for sharing all your thoughts and feelings.
Thanks for sharing all your thoughts and feelings.It makes total sense what you are saying and it is hard. I caught myself many times looking at everybody else’s purchases, vicariously rejoicing through their acquisition because it is fun. We face a lot of different trials in this world and life can be tough. I pray that you will always find the strength to keep fighting and great people will be sent your way to be angels around you!! It is no fun to battle as a single mom and see your child struggle. You are already a heroine!!!!
Ladies, you are all great. 
All your posts are so sensitive and honest.
TPF is a microcosm. We are all bag lovers here and like to look at reveals and new models in the numerous subforums.
When you think about it, do you really see so many expensive bags where you live?
Of course if you live or work in some posh places, you will come across ladies carrying high end purses.
But the majority of women on this planet will never spend more than€50 on a bag and I am not talking of third world countries where €50 is a huge amount of money.
I think that the question we should ask ourselves to stop spending thousands of euros or dollars on a bag is
" Does this purse really cost that much to make?"
The truth is that it doesn't..and we all know it.
That could help us ....
All your posts are so sensitive and honest.
TPF is a microcosm. We are all bag lovers here and like to look at reveals and new models in the numerous subforums.
When you think about it, do you really see so many expensive bags where you live?
Of course if you live or work in some posh places, you will come across ladies carrying high end purses.
But the majority of women on this planet will never spend more than€50 on a bag and I am not talking of third world countries where €50 is a huge amount of money.
I think that the question we should ask ourselves to stop spending thousands of euros or dollars on a bag is
" Does this purse really cost that much to make?"
The truth is that it doesn't..and we all know it.
That could help us ....
This is true.. My ex-husband and I were talking about my bag habit and he asked if I would ever spend 1000.00 on a bag. Right away I said" Yes! If I had the money to do that! " He was like.." wow honey... that is a LOT of money.. think about what else you could do with that.. It's a BAG! That's crazy! " It was SO foreign to him, just unbelievable, to THINK of spending that much. But I'm numb to the prices now. Even though I don't buy bags costing a tenth of that, I see some reveals here and the prices and it no longer phases me. If I had the money, I WOULD be buying. I'd be in trouble, too. Because I know myself and it would be "OK I'll just buy this one nice bag and then from now on put the money into savings." Yeah right.Ladies, you are all great.
All your posts are so sensitive and honest.
TPF is a microcosm. We are all bag lovers here and like to look at reveals and new models in the numerous subforums.
When you think about it, do you really see so many expensive bags where you live?
Of course if you live or work in some posh places, you will come across ladies carrying high end purses.
But the majority of women on this planet will never spend more than€50 on a bag and I am not talking of third world countries where €50 is a huge amount of money.
I think that the question we should ask ourselves to stop spending thousands of euros or dollars on a bag is
" Does this purse really cost that much to make?"
The truth is that it doesn't..and we all know it.
That could help us ....
I don't know, I don't know if it's filling a void, a release from stress, an addiction, a thrill, a high, maybe all of the above. I'm not in any $ trouble over this but what if I was? Honestly, truly I would have a very hard time stopping anyway. It's a little scary to think I'd have such a difficult time controlling myself.
Totally agree. This is actually where I am now. (Well, I felt a lot better after reading all the thoughtful replies in this thread. Thank you so much ya’ll. But man, I was in bad shape earlier this week when I was literally driving myself crazy, just itching to buy a new bag.). I was like, how on earth did I get here? What the hell am I doing? Why can’t I control this? I’m not in debt either, or in danger of living on the streets from this or anything like that, but it WAS really scary to realize that I’m teetering on the brink of not being able to stop myself.
What @Mariapia and @eckw said above is absolutely the right things to focus on. Stop looking (impossible as that may seem to me right now), and also, step back and realize that most people DON’T have a bag addiction. That the bags are not really worth thousands of dollars, in terms of how much it cost to make them. Like my mon mono Neverfull. I look at it and it’s literally a simple piece of canvas with a bottom; two thin straps, and my initials painted on it. In the colors of my choice. For close to $2000. It’s hard to justify. And yet I want a speedy too! Sigh.
My plan now is to use the heck out of the 5 bags I already have. Get my moneys worth, if that’s even possible. I finally confessed to my husband I have an addiction to buying bags. I told him that every day I DON’T buy a bag is a small victory!!! I wonder how long I can keep up this bag ban. Hopefully I can make it at least a year. And then after that hopefully I’ll not want to break my streak.
And my final thought is, yes, we all have different reasons we get addicted to buying bags. Some of the ones were already mentioned above: stress, self esteem, the thrill of the boutique experience. For me, it’s boredom. I like that excitement of looking and buying online. I actually don’t like the boutique experience that much anymore. Too many two faced SA’s, but that’s a different story. It’s so easy and gratifying to just point and click. BUT I’m going to try to find other ways to spice up my life. Like maybe going on a trip in October! My first plane ride with my toddler
i can say that in my case I immigrated to this country from a very poor background and ended up in California. Without realizing I suffered of very low self esteem but never took the time to sit on that pain and deal with it. So living in a very high end area with people strolling Hermès and Chanels to the grocery store (yes, flip flops and Hermès at the grocery store) I felt a need to fit in. But honestly that revealed more of my insecurity than the environment where I was living at. So once I realized how I was feeling I decided to stop everything and not allow this to consume me. I needed to do work in my own heartLadies, you are all great.
All your posts are so sensitive and honest.
TPF is a microcosm. We are all bag lovers here and like to look at reveals and new models in the numerous subforums.
When you think about it, do you really see so many expensive bags where you live?
Of course if you live or work in some posh places, you will come across ladies carrying high end purses.
But the majority of women on this planet will never spend more than€50 on a bag and I am not talking of third world countries where €50 is a huge amount of money.
I think that the question we should ask ourselves to stop spending thousands of euros or dollars on a bag is
" Does this purse really cost that much to make?"
The truth is that it doesn't..and we all know it.
That could help us ....
Yes, the thrill of walking into the store talking to the SA, someone you can talk to about bags, the store environment, the “bubble”. It is a surreal bubble... almost like a fashion version of Disneyland. A place where we can forget stress, worries, cares of this world, etc. it takes us to a place where ideal is almost tangible. And I think we want it, we desire it. I once read an an article that was doing an analysis on why people are attracted to brands. They were saying that the image these fashion houses create are so powerful that customers are willing to pay anything to be associated with that brand. Almost as if it is part of their identities. They almost become one with it. Interesting thought processThis is a great thread. I can identify with so much of what is said.
For me, it’s definitely the thrill of the buy. The process of going into the store, chatting with the SA and seeing what’s on offer. Somehow you’re lulled into this surreal bubble where it seems perfectly normal to pay thousands for a bag!
I find it’s really hard to go back to contemporary brands once you’ve started the luxury route. And because I’ve “invested” so much in certain bags, I try to rotate through them and my less expensive contemporary brands are ignored.
And as @Annawakes said, once you’ve paid for one $4000 HG bag, that $2000 one next to it doesn’t seem so pricey anymore. Not to mention the designer shoes and belts that “only” cost a fraction of the bag price. Pretty scary how quickly our brain adjusts. Which is also why I think it’s better not to go down the luxury route too early in life.
We talk of ban island and purse peace but I think to really turn off that buy switch, we have to stop looking. If you don’t see it, you won’t want it or miss it. Rewire our brain to look for other stimulus. That’s the theory anyway. [emoji51]
But regarding your comment on the price we are willing to pay ... oh my goodness... yes, I remember 13 years ago I remember pulling a Cole Haan receipt for a bag that I bought for $250 and I remember how guilty I felt paying what I considered to be a lot of money. Now, 4000 is acceptable