How did you slow down/stop spending what you didn't have because of your addiction??

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#16
klb4556 said:
I have a lot of goals, but none seem feasible right now, so I went to what was more feasible, getting things, coming right to your door.. etc. Since traveling, a home business and other goals weren't attainable at the time. Thank you! that book sounds like exactly what I want to do.
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Hey you,

You seem super sweet and so willing to take advice--I'm not sure if my original post came off kind of preachy, I typed it on my phone, so I apologize if it did! You sound like a really amazing person and I wish you every luck in dealing with this issue. Btw, I refuse to believe that your goals are unattainable! You can do it, I know you can. :)

And yes, please read the book, especially if you can find it in your library or get it on Kindle (no need for more clutter!) She teaches a philosophy of being grateful to (not FOR) your possessions for giving you joy, which sounds really weird, but is incredibly helpful!
 
#17
I think you have great insight into why you've been spending as you have, and I think that's the first step to success.

If you like to read, you can shop your local library completely free. You could come up with a list of things you'd like to learn about, and cross off each conquered title as an accomplishment. Maybe you'd like to learn a new type of cooking? I'm sure that even with health restrictions there are goals you can accomplish and on the cheap. You could also consider volunteering, as many places have a low time commitment, like two hours a week. It's harder to buy as much when you see so much need out there. Best of luck!
 
#18
Think about the home you want to buy. Start collecting pictures for decorating ideas and DIY projects. You have a lot to learn about buying and maintaining a home and making it your own, so start learning about that. It's really fun!

Shop online for homes and decor instead of bags and sunglasses. But don't buy anything for your home, because you will probably change your mind later. You can keep the pics you download though.

You just need to substitute something else for the shopping activities. Something that is more interesting than shopping for fashion.
 
#20
Is this passion about bags only? I ask because perhaps, just perhaps, you might think about whether you could ever envisage turning it into a profitable pursuit as in, working in retail selling purses, or apprenticing yourself to a master saddler, or learn in a workshop how to design and handcraft your own pieces to sell them at fairs, LARP bazaars, or Etsy... would such ideas hold any appeal to you, or is the thrill more in the hunt than in the whole hands down creative process? Not trying to connect the dots here, just trying to see what those dots are. Sometimes a passion may turn out to be a hidden talent bursting to break out and blossom...
 
#21
Pimpernel said:
Is this passion about bags only? I ask because perhaps, just perhaps, you might think about whether you could ever envisage turning it into a profitable pursuit as in, working in retail selling purses, or apprenticing yourself to a master saddler, or learn in a workshop how to design and handcraft your own pieces to sell them at fairs, LARP bazaars, or Etsy... would such ideas hold any appeal to you, or is the thrill more in the hunt than in the whole hands down creative process? Not trying to connect the dots here, just trying to see what those dots are. Sometimes a passion may turn out to be a hidden talent bursting to break out and blossom...
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this would absolutely appeal to me! I've even looked into leatherworking classes locally!
As long as I could still buy what I really appreciate from time to time :) or if I could make what I wanted :)
 
#22
Jesssh said:
Think about the home you want to buy. Start collecting pictures for decorating ideas and DIY projects. You have a lot to learn about buying and maintaining a home and making it your own, so start learning about that. It's really fun!

Shop online for homes and decor instead of bags and sunglasses. But don't buy anything for your home, because you will probably change your mind later. You can keep the pics you download though.

You just need to substitute something else for the shopping activities. Something that is more interesting than shopping for fashion.
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great advice
 
#23
You do seem incredibly kind and you are most definitely not alone. I love bags as well - but when it gets to the point that the thought of buying a bag actually makes me MORE depressed, I think to myself, "Whoa! Stop here. There's a problem."
I make sure that my bills are always paid on time, but I should have a ton more in my savings account than I do. I think others on this thread have given great advice. While I'm passionate about the craftsmanship of bags themselves (I enjoy learning about leatherwork, reading about designers, etc), I'm turning my attention to hobbies I've neglected (I used to make a lot of jewelery, I used to dance, I used to read nonstop). And as hard as it can be, taking breaks from tpf - especially the reveals! - really does help.
Again, you are not alone. Just find ways to be kind to yourself which do not involve shopping. It is a good feeling. I wish you the best of luck!
 
#24
Like everybody said always pay your bills first and get out of debt. And I'm sure almost all of us here made mistakes how to handle our financial wether in handbag addiction or in something else. But there is always a way to fix the problem and just do it one day at a time it's not a overnight solution obviously. I was in a situation 5years ago that 2 of my credit card is max out do to iresponsible spending of money that I do not have so bills are paid late and my credit was down that I hardly get approove of anything. But I was determine that I can fix it if I do behave my self and focus on my needs, so I paid my bills on time I got my self a piggy bank to put some extra cash for my FUTURE BAG and after that I have a goal to buy me a new car so clearly I need a good credit for a lower interest rate and a money for a down payment. I luv makeups,handbags,and shoes:-) but for a mean time I UNSUBSCRIBE with all the stores that I usually go or buy online so that way I don't see anything that it's advertise and make me wanna buy and think about it over and over, and that simple step helped me a lot not to buy anything. And cleaning out your closet is a big help as well I usually keep my handbag to their dustbag but not seeing them daily is not good I felt like I don't have enough..lol but what I did I took them out and displayed in my closet wen I openmy closet I see them clearly and obviously that makes me NOT to buy another "black" handbag but small changes in our lifestyle will help us determine how to spend our hard earned money:-) But hey Cheerup and everything is going to be ok, just one day at a time:-)
 
#25
glasskey said:
I have recommended this book repeatedly, but I have to recommend it again here: a lady named Marie Kondo wrote a book called something like The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. In the book, she shows you how to pare down your possessions to only those things that bring you joy. After I went through her program, I genuinely found that I don't covet things the way I used to because I loved everything I had, and had gotten rid of everything else. I was satisfied for the first time.

In addition, I agree with the advice to get an additional hobby, and set some goals for yourself, such as losing weight, exercising more, learning a new language, etc., to keep yourself busy.

Finally, I encourage you to think of ways to be creative and to create. Shopping, in the end, is consumption and nothing more. You are taking from the world, not giving. What are some ways you can create? Write a blog? Cook for your family? Volunteer? Learning to give and not merely to take has enriched my life immeasurably.
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I just checked my library online and I am 493rd in line to reserve this book! It must be very popular! There are 170 copies, so hopefully it won't take too long...
 
#27
glasskey said:
Hey you,

You seem super sweet and so willing to take advice--I'm not sure if my original post came off kind of preachy, I typed it on my phone, so I apologize if it did! You sound like a really amazing person and I wish you every luck in dealing with this issue. Btw, I refuse to believe that your goals are unattainable! You can do it, I know you can. :)

And yes, please read the book, especially if you can find it in your library or get it on Kindle (no need for more clutter!) She teaches a philosophy of being grateful to (not FOR) your possessions for giving you joy, which sounds really weird, but is incredibly helpful!
Click to expand...

no offense taken at all. I know most people just want to help and I asked for help so there we go :) thanks!
 
#28
Apelila said:
Like everybody said always pay your bills first and get out of debt. And I'm sure almost all of us here made mistakes how to handle our financial wether in handbag addiction or in something else. But there is always a way to fix the problem and just do it one day at a time it's not a overnight solution obviously. I was in a situation 5years ago that 2 of my credit card is max out do to iresponsible spending of money that I do not have so bills are paid late and my credit was down that I hardly get approove of anything. But I was determine that I can fix it if I do behave my self and focus on my needs, so I paid my bills on time I got my self a piggy bank to put some extra cash for my FUTURE BAG and after that I have a goal to buy me a new car so clearly I need a good credit for a lower interest rate and a money for a down payment. I luv makeups,handbags,and shoes:-) but for a mean time I UNSUBSCRIBE with all the stores that I usually go or buy online so that way I don't see anything that it's advertise and make me wanna buy and think about it over and over, and that simple step helped me a lot not to buy anything. And cleaning out your closet is a big help as well I usually keep my handbag to their dustbag but not seeing them daily is not good I felt like I don't have enough..lol but what I did I took them out and displayed in my closet wen I openmy closet I see them clearly and obviously that makes me NOT to buy another "black" handbag but small changes in our lifestyle will help us determine how to spend our hard earned money:-) But hey Cheerup and everything is going to be ok, just one day at a time:-)
Click to expand...

this was a lovely way of putting it, thank you for your positivity! :)
 
#29
iluvbagsnshoes said:
I just checked my library online and I am 493rd in line to reserve this book! It must be very popular! There are 170 copies, so hopefully it won't take too long...
Click to expand...

Wow! That's a lot of copies, and even more people!

It is a really good book, however (I checked out my library's copy last week!)

Her first step to tidying is to figure out what you want, and why tidying is important to you. Ask yourself "but why do I..." Because if you aren't doing it for you, you'll give up midway.
 
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