Engagement ring problem, pls help

[bagshopr]

I would just stick with the ring he bought you already. Really, there are many more important things than having a real diamond. Let him get settled in his career before you start thinking about buying an expensive ring.
What counts is the sentiment and love that came with the ring, not how big or how expensive it was. No one needs to know that your ring is not a real diamond. Wear it proudly.
Believe me, if cz's had been an option when I got married, I definitely would have gotten a nice cz ring instead of a diamond.

 

[elizat]

^ I agree. He might have gotten upset because if he does not have a stable job and has a low income, it can be stressful. Put the shoe on the other foot- would it have stressed/upset you? For me, it would have if I was him. If everything else in the relationship is good and he treats you well, you are happy, etc., I would not worry about an actual diamond at this point. There is time for that later.

Bag- I totally agree about CZ or substitutes like moissanite, if you want a ring that looks like a diamond. I think it is just a smarter way to spend money, if you have student loan debt, don't have substantial savings and zero debt, etc.

 

[onegirlcreative]

what i'm curious about is, why did you agree to get a faux diamond in the first place when it's clearly bothering you? were you just anxious to have that ring on your finger to tell everybody that you're engaged, only to be embarrassed or disappointed later? was the "idea" of being engaged more appealing than waiting until he can afford to get a real diamond ring? i'm sorry, but you agreed to have a faux diamond initially, and perhaps once your fiancé graduates college and gets into his career, then you'll be financially in a position to get a real stone.

i agree that you should NOT buy the stone yourself, nor should you do it behind his back. what if he took it without you knowing to surprise you and get the stone replaced, only to have the real one replaced? think of how hurt he'd be once he realized that stone was real and you obviously replaced it without his knowledge. that would open up a whole other can of worms.

i think since you agreed to have the faux diamond to begin with, you should be ok with that until he can afford to get you a real one. it should come from him, not you.

and btw, for a college student or anybody with a low income, $1,000 is a lot of money, so for you to say that it's not much money right now is kind of callous, imo.

 

[2manybags]

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I agree that this is not a good sign. It's an indication of what kind of behavior you can expect in the future.

I think you hit the nail on the head.

 

[kristie]

^^^I am in agreement here.......it seems that there is a bigger underlying issue than just "real vs. faux" diamonds.......it seems that there is an immaturity to the relationship element that does not appear ready for any kind of marriage.

Sorry, OP, I am not trying to bring you down at all....that is only what I am interpreting from your posts. How old are the two of you and how old were you when you met and then got engaged? I am assuming if you have been engaged for three years but are still in college, you got engaged in High School or shortly thereafter?