Engagement ring cost guilt?

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#17
ame said:
My "original" (meaning the one I wore for the wedding, as I actualy had a Tiffany at first before the store damaged and then LOST IT TWICE) was stolen 2 years ago, and I STILL am not over that, and the amount over the insurance payout we spent to get an even better spec'd stone than we had (clarity). I keep thinking "we could have fixed our basement walls with all this" or "I wish we'd gotten new windows or paid off the car instead". Despite loving my ring like crazy. That also is hindered by how much setting drama I have had with my rings. I cannot seem to escape ring jinx drama. HOPEFULLY my new wedding band getting here next week may close that door. I am so damn sick of spending money on this stuff. Money I could be saving or buying other stuff with!

My mom and dad have definitely commented profusely on how "poorly" my
financial choices are. They told me not to replace it, and while in part they're right, I never would have if we didn't then.
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My friend's ring was stolen, and she got insurance payment, but was required to repurchase another ring, she couldn't keep the money for house repairs.
 
#18
I can't imagine feeling guilty about anything you can afford and that's not somehow inappropriate with the potential to cause problems. Meaning for example wearing something in a line of work or situation that would draw negative attention. It's all a matter of good judgment and finances.
 
#19
I have 4 brothers (talk about protected younger sister). We have been through 5, counting mine, engagements. Each of my brothers took my mom and me to help pick out the ring. I kind of invited myself... Anyway, my mom used the same piece of advice each time: save for it and make it matter. It won't be a financial hardship and you will have worked for it, just as you will work for your marriage. Each of my brothers chose a great lady and a great ring. No one spent more than they could afford, because the money was set aside specifically for the purpose of buying an engagement ring.
 
#23
I would not feel guilty if I were you! I am sure he wants to spend it on you. And an engagement ring is meant to last a lifetime - except if you will be getting an upgrade later. Anyways you are worth it! :)
 
#24
If your fiance had presented you the ring (without your knowledge of it's worth) would you still feel as guilty? I got engaged well into both my and my huband's careers...and I could buy a HOUSE with what my ring cost, but no....I don't feel guilty at all.
This is what my husband selected for me...he could afford it..and I love it.
Please try to relax and enjoy your ring....especially if you dont want to feel tempted to "upgrade" later. If your fiance has good judgement and can afford it, don't worry.
 
#25
rogersa said:
When do you guys take it off? Baking and such that requires my hands it will be taken off for an hour or so, but do you shower, swim, class, sleeping, go to the beach, vacations, gym etc? Because I don't ever want to take it off!!
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I wear my e-ring whenever I leave my house, but as soon as I get home I take it off. I don't take a shower, cook, or sleep with it. I just want to keep my ring clean and in good condition.
 
#26
marialc121 said:
I wear my e-ring whenever I leave my house, but as soon as I get home I take it off. I don't take a shower, cook, or sleep with it. I just want to keep my ring clean and in good condition.
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I wear my ring almost 24/7. I probably shouldn't but I do. My ring is significant but I don't feel guilty. I am pretty low maintenance and don't ask for everything under the sun. I love gems and jewelry and my stone suits my style. My husband knows I love jewelry for the aesthetic value and not to be a show horse so he like to get me what I want and I don't ask for much. Big pieces yes but I would rather have fewer pieces of significance than many little pieces.
 
#27
I love thinking of it as a dollar a day! That's so sweet! See, I was thinking that I would never want to take it off. If it were from tiffanys try do free cleaning and repairs and stuff like that, not that I would let it be damaged and stuff. But I would take it off when washing my hands or putting cream and and using my hands to bake or when changing my oil. But otherwise I don't ever want to take it off! Thanks everyone for your help and I will definitely have lots of pictures when I get engaged! :)
 
#28
My ring is on almost all the time. I take my ring off to shower or to put on lotion..thats it. I wear it to sleep and house clean and to the pool and when I'm cooking. I know it's horrible..I don't care. I still warn people that you should take it off when around chemicals that could damage the metal, or pools that could damage the metals. Also sleeping in rings puts on a lot of wear and tear and your sleeping anyway so might as well prolong the rings life and take it off. Unfortunately I suck at taking my own advice. But I have a pretty beefy ring and setting. i think with something delicate I would follow proper guidelines....maybe ;-)
 
#30
If you really feel guilty (which you shouldn't) I would use the inspiration of the design/setting/stone of the tiffany ring you like, buy your diamonds wholesale and get the ring custom made. That way you have a better quality stone and at least you know that even though a lot of money was spent; your ring will be worth more than what you paid and you haven't spent money paying for a "brand" name. PLUS it is soo much fun designing your own ring and buying the stones!!!

I am like you and do not even plan or re doing my ring so for me I wanted the ring that I liked and chose and my partner and I were able to design it together. AND you can design your e ring to suit/sit perfectly with a custom made wedding ring also.
 
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