Ages Ages at Hermes Never have i had this issue and its a Brand that has had both men and women creative directors. i think the issue is always !!!! around the fact that they have to consider if they will sell you a bag, you can only buy a certain number of bags, you can only see one bag at a time, thus this leaves everything up to the SAs judgement and or criteria..... so happy to report No, have never had this happen and i have been there with and with out my husband so .............
Does Hermes Practice Sexism?
- Thread starter dooneybaby
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Hmmm. I have to say that at ANY store, including H, if I am with my husband, they defer to him 1000% assuming he is in charge of the credit card. And my DH is low key - he just wears a nice watch, and I might be carrying a bag that's quite a bit more expensive than the watch. They, I suppose, assume he bought it for me.
The ONLY place this does not happen is stores that know me. So my H SAs whom I am close with know perfectly well that I make my own decisions and they've seen me buy a bag without asking DH. Also certain art galleries, where it's known that I am the customer.
Now, if I am alone, it's all good most places, and IF I am dressed like I can afford whatever it is, I am treated well. If I am dressed down/not carrying/wearing anything expensive, well, then it varies. That's retail. I hate that this happens so if I am out high end shopping I probably have a special order Hermès bag on my arm. It's stupid, but I just don't want to deal with attitude so I arm against it.
So yes, sexism happens at Hermès, but no more than anywhere else.
The ONLY place this does not happen is stores that know me. So my H SAs whom I am close with know perfectly well that I make my own decisions and they've seen me buy a bag without asking DH. Also certain art galleries, where it's known that I am the customer.
Now, if I am alone, it's all good most places, and IF I am dressed like I can afford whatever it is, I am treated well. If I am dressed down/not carrying/wearing anything expensive, well, then it varies. That's retail. I hate that this happens so if I am out high end shopping I probably have a special order Hermès bag on my arm. It's stupid, but I just don't want to deal with attitude so I arm against it.
So yes, sexism happens at Hermès, but no more than anywhere else.
This reminds me of my talking to my mother about sexism in my workplace. She was like of course there is, and I asked how would she know, and she said: but sexism is everywhere.
This is assuming that the woman doesn't work or doesn't make more than the husband ... which is often NOT the case.
OK I will go ahead and mention the elephant in the room - I think it's because men are assumed (not incorrectly in many cases) to be the ones paying for the purchases. Therefore if they get a bag they are willingly paying for it right then and there with their money whereas a woman is perhaps getting permission from the husband to spend the husband’s money.
I literally have been asked "is your husband ok with you spending like this" by SAs (H and other brands, and in different countries). I actually earn more than my husband and am the one paying for my luxury purchases (I have decided to always go shopping by myself too) but I do get why. It's still the default way of thinking that men are the ones providing the funds, because of how things used to be (I remember when my mom can't even *own* a card without going through her husband), and of course, in many cases still continue to be (gender pay inequality is a thing). And it definitely can be true that the husbands are picking up the tab (how many posts have we seen that mention "my husband is going to put me on ban island" on this forum?). I have also personally ran into someone at my store hiding her purchase (like a small leather good into her pocket) and joking (and I hope only just joking) with the SA to not have her husband angry at her with the H shopping.
It's like when husband and I go out to eat at a restaurant and the waiter defaults to giving the check to him instead of me. IMO it's the same assumptions at work. Is it sexiest? Yes that is literally what this is, but I don't think at the root it is (simply) an H thing or an SA (/waiter) thing, rather it’s reflecting on the still existing gender roles and inequalities in cultures and societies as a whole.
P.S. an aside - I am not saying that there is anything wrong with people spending their partner's (or parents') money or whatever. As long as the ones providing the money are happy, I don’t think it’s up to anyone else to judge. I wouldn’t say no if my husband wants to buy me H or anything - in fact he has done it once and it’s my most special piece that I will never get rid of
The assumption that a woman is using man’s money to buy luxury goods is so outmoded. Honestly, if I were asked if my husband was ok with a purchase, I would go buy the item somewhere else.
I traveled a lot for my job before COVID. Most of the teams I managed were men only. Guess who ended up with the check? Not me. Guess who was paying? Me. Wasn’t particularly amusing. I did have a quiet word with the managers of the restaurants went often. It helped.
My husband doesn't drink. Not at all. But whenever we order a beer and a cola at a restaurant, he always gets served the beer and me the cola
Sorry I've gone off topic. But yes, sexism exists, even in something as simple as a man should have the beer and the woman the non-alcoholic beverage. Everything that @momoc has said is accurate. Outdated gender roles still exist in today's societies, and it will take a few more generations before these assumptions die out.
My husband doesn’t normally eat red meat, but I order steak a couple times a year. Usually gets brought up to him. Do waiters don’t keep track of this? Similarly, I often get red wine and he gets white... people often assume it’s the other eay
I noticed this a few months ago (pre coronavirus). A friend and I went to one of those big department stores (Bloomjngdale’s I think), and she just got out of a workout, so she was wearing athletic clothing, and I was wearing a McQueen dress and carrying a Kelly. It was a very surreal experience. The sales people seemed to be knocking themselves over to talk to me and completely ignored her. It was uncomfortable to me (and to her, I imagine). The kicker is that she was actually the one shopping... I think she was looking for some sort of specific Bottega wallet. We left quickly without buying anytjing
Ugh. I feel like I haven’t really seen that happen, but would certainly make a point of pointing it out and not purchasing from the business. I would be very upset.
AnnaE, i never been asked this at any luxury store. but, it occurs to me, I go to buy, not to shop (The sole exception being perfume which sometimes requires a visit to try on or obtain a sample, then some time to decide. And that’s why it’s important to have an SA that knows what your preferences are and what you already have, so if I need an opinion, i consult with the SA and I get an honest opinion. I also never had a problem saying to my SA, I want to spend x for an item; I want these functional factors; and I want to fit my ipad or blah, blah blah in it, what do you recommend in that range. That’s how I discovered the Victoria and I have several. Also re your point about not being given the check, yup.
but, referring to the QTpik8 above who worked retail in college (I worked for Louis Boston for a year after college (it was my day job to pay the rent on my visual art studio) before graduate school, I also don’t pull out a microscope and inspect seams. And I prefer actually to buy my own H and generally shop by myself bc girlfriends tend to talk me into things I don’t want or interfere with my focus.
note: my family is sexist in the sense that they feel it’s the husbands job to pay all bills, including H, period. But Even though my mom could also buy her own, I think she is happier borrowing from my closet. (It doesn’t usually go the other way, bc i don’t care for her bag choices or hw choices.
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I only wish I could send my husband to get me a H bag ... 
That's outrageous, I'd walk out.
There is something to be said about what you wrote. I have a very frugal aka reasonable husband and unnecessarily babbled about it to my SA whom I treat as a friend. I use typically our joint Amex card where we collect points but sometimes don't want hubz to know that I bought something on impulse so I split things between my cards.
He took it as 'my husband doesn't want to pay/I use his money without a permission' and I've learned through our common friend he's worried about me and impact of my spend on my relationship and therefore didn't want to sell me another B/K/C. I was like WTF
So then I was honest with my SA and told him about exactly how much I earn on my new contract (it's Eastern Europe, one can be explicit haha) and then as if by magic not only a 2 Constances to choose from materialised but was told I can put SO or choose a Birkin of my choice. Odd!!! I've learnt to keep my mouth shut about my husband's approach to my OWN spending lol.As many write here, sexism is everywhere. I get treated significantly better when I am with my SO at luxury boutiques/hotels/airports/restaurants/etc.... My SA at Hermes has never met him, and she knows I make my own money so I have never experienced sexism at Hermes.
My SO is 18 years older than me so when we go shopping at other luxury boutiques, most SA think he is the one with the deep pockets and I look like I have a sugar daddy. Sometimes I get angry but I will admit I love it when we are at dinner and the bill always gets handed to him
My SO is 18 years older than me so when we go shopping at other luxury boutiques, most SA think he is the one with the deep pockets and I look like I have a sugar daddy. Sometimes I get angry but I will admit I love it when we are at dinner and the bill always gets handed to him
I own a retail store. The amount of customers that come out and SAY "can you split this on these cards" or "can I pay part cash/part card..I don't want my husband to know" is eye opening. I would never ask..people can pay however they wish..but so many ladies OFFER this information..or come out and say "I like this shirt, but I'm going to go home and ask my husband if it's okay to buy it" when a lot of people wouldn't just offer up that info. So I'm sure H gets conversations like that all the time as well.There is something to be said about what you wrote. I have a very frugal aka reasonable husband and unnecessarily babbled about it to my SA whom I treat as a friend. I use typically our joint Amex card where we collect points but sometimes don't want hubz to know that I bought something on impulse so I split things between my cards.
He took it as 'my husband doesn't want to pay/I use his money without a permission' and I've learned through our common friend he's worried about me and impact of my spend on my relationship and therefore didn't want to sell me another B/K/C. I was like WTF
My SO is 18 years older than me so when we go shopping at other luxury boutiques, most SA think he is the one with the deep pockets and I look like I have a sugar daddy. Sometimes I get angry but I will admit I love it when we are at dinner and the bill always gets handed to him
Yeah, I think age is a separate issue with its own complications. I have friends in a similar situation where the younger part of the couple has gotten nasty comments in stores and restaurants (not a lot thankfully) with even worse implications than just a sugar daddy situation... I understand that people make assumptions and especially in retail where the SAs meet a lot of people and want to make clients feel like they're on the same page as fast as possible. But as a general rule, it's not going to flatter any of the parties involved implying that one is being paid to be there... Even if it could be true.
I know a lady that uses the phrase " My husband refused to give me money for this purchase " as an excuse to back out from a sale without having to explain why . Even if she was using her own money . So maybe DH is , after all , ok with it 
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.For sure. And I wasn’t happy to learn somebody didint want to sell me an item inferring something (wrongly) from my random usage of cards and a few jokes about my husband. I suffer from anxiety and babble in stressful situations but that was awkward. My lesson is to focus and don’t share anything or make silly jokes though I deem this as hyper sexist