diamond buying- we walked out feeling bad

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juliejewels

juliejewels

O.G.
Feb 18, 2008
108
0
#1
BF and I finally settled on a setting and are exploring centerstone options.

Of course I am dying for a 2 -3 ct center stone, but I also know that with my athletic active lifestyle it may not be practical. Not to mention I don't want BF to feel pressured to finance a ring. I don't want to owe a lifetime on a ring.

So shopping yesterday , we found a beautiful 1.65 radiant E colorless VSI...??((I think, I am still getting the lingo down)) it is beautiful in the setting we picked . So sparkley and white!

Then, I had them take out a 2.03 ct oval and it blew me away. It a was D colorless and flawless... it was a gorgeous cut and HUGE on me. ~Love at first sight~ I have never seen anything so magnificent in my life.

The sales people then began to lay the sales pitch on thick. "Oh, but he needs to get this stone for you, you are worth it, you have waited, you are priceless like this diamond." " This diamond found you, you were not looking for it, just like you were not looking for him and just found him. It is meant to be" ( no kidding- these were actual lines. The best was , "This first stone does not offend me, but the second is breathtaking and a ring to be noticed. How could you settle for anything less? "

I accidently saw the price and the sales lady was quick to cover it and say,"well, dear you are not supposed to see that, " and then was quick to bring up financing options.
As they continued to lay it on us, I stopped them and politely said I was embarassed and would like for my BF to choose the stone and discuss the payment when I was not there. I also was adament that I did not want him going into debt over a ring.

BF began feeling really bad about our initial choices said he would not feel stupid and judged if he went back to get the ring with the first stone. He said he would probably go the the gallery in the neighboring town. ( same store , different location)

I just feel sick about this today.

How would you react? I know BF's ego is hurt... I mean no guy would want to go in now and get the smaller stone.

I did let him know over and over that I wanted to marry him not for a big ring , but because he was so special and I want a life together...but somehow when he saw me loving that larger diamond, I think he will feel inadequate if he gets me anything else.

So what do I do now? I figured I would drop the topic of a ring entirely and lee him do whatever he plans to do.

:shrugs: ~Julie
 
#3
And you might want to say to him about the practicality? You said that you have an active lifestyle and am assumed he aware of this and should put it into consideration when choosing the size
 
#4
Hi, Julie!

First of all, I don't blame you for feeling bad, and if I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd want to do business withs salespeople who presented ring and stone choices in that way.

This is just my opinion, so please take this with a grain of salt, but I am a big believer in karma and objects having "energy." I know that sounds new-age and very "out there" but I can assure you I'm a normal everyday gal. I'm just saying that this is not a regular purchase, like going to buy a car, or a major appliance. This is a very symbolic item and when so much focus is placed on choosing the correct one, there's a lot of emotion and "energy" associated with it. Case in point....have you ever put on jewelry that you inherited and it made you "feel" different? When I put on my grandmother's old wedding band, I can "feel" the love she had for her husband, my grandpa. I'm NOT saying that selecting this ring and oval stone means that you won't feel love, but that you may associate some guilty or negative feelings if you choose this stone and that would be a shame.

Please forgive me if I'm stepping my bounds, because I don't want to offend, but if it were me, I would go somewhere else to select my ring.

I wish you the best of luck and a lifetime of LOVE and HAPPINESS!
 
#5
Ugh, I'm sorry the lady was so rude. Now that you know you like an oval, maybe you can find something similar online? Maybe tell your boyfriend visit pricescope.com and people can help him find a diamond you'll love at a great price. If you go down just below two carats, you will save a lot. You can also go down a bit in color and clarity and still have a beautiful white stone. Then you can have the size and shape you want without dealing with annoying salespeople and save money too. Good luck!
 
#6
^^^ I agree. I'd go somewhere else too. Also, if you're in love with the oval stone or the D color or the IF clarity, etc., then shop around online for a stone with the same characteristics and see if you can get a better price on it.

I'm NOT someone who will ever buy from a sales person who doesn't make me feel 1000% comfortable with my purchase, no matter how big or small. When DH and I bought our wedding bands, we shopped many places and with many sales people (engagement ring purchase was separate). We finally purchased rings from a store where we were made to feel comfortable. Our sales associate literally made us feel like we were his only customers, and was happy to show us everything from a plain tungsten band for DH (about $150) to multiple diamond carats set in platinum ($5,000+). We were in the store two times, and each time for about 2 hours. We ended up in the middle price range and were never made to feel like we should spend more or less, even when our credit app came back with an approval of about 4 times what we spent.

This is an important purchase, and in my opinion, you're buying the service as well as the diamond. Anything (gumball machine ring, twist tie) can symbolize your commitment to each other. You're looking at spending a decent amount of money (2 ct, D, IF is definitely a significant purchase), and you should spend it with a company and sales staff that makes you feel like a fairy tale couple, no matter what the budget.

Congratulations!!! :love:
 
#7
I feel for you ... in a way either stone from the same store would bring up the 'bad' feelings you have. I'd say go out and shop somewhere else and have fun! Forget about this store! Do your research online, discuss with your BF the shape, which of the Cs is/are the most important to you, and the setting. Let the sales person know ahead of time that you are shopping together and just want to look at a few stones, but want to leave the decision to your BF since he is the one paying. If you encounter the same stupid sales pitch, let them know you'd like to talk it over between the two of you, and hopefully they will get the hint to shut up.

Good luck, and enjoy this together as a couple - don't let the pressure from the sales people get to you. Please come back and update us.
 
#8
Well if you really love the oval maybe go with that cut in a slightly lesser grade? D color flawless though tops in diamond category - also tops in pricing. Maybe you can drop the color to G-H and clarity to a VS or completely eye clean SI1 if you can find it.

I personally hate when sales staff come on so strong that it's actually offensive. You shouldn't feel bad ring shopping!

Oh - and I definitely would NOT purchase from the high pressure sales store that made you feel that way.
 
#9
Crystalina said:
Hi, Julie!
I'm NOT saying that selecting this ring and oval stone means that you won't feel love, but that you may associate some guilty or negative feelings if you choose this stone and that would be a shame.

Please forgive me if I'm stepping my bounds, because I don't want to offend, but if it were me, I would go somewhere else to select my ring.

I wish you the best of luck and a lifetime of LOVE and HAPPINESS!
Click to expand...



Not offensive at all... I was thinking the same thing, that I might feel guilty looking at it if he were to get it. I definitely do not want that. I want this to be the happiest time of our lives.

BF is pretty against the online shopping as an option. He is really a practical kind of guy. I think he is overwhelmed right now.

He did say he loved seeing how excited I was and was happy we could experience that together. For now, I am just going to leave it up to him. He has been showing the pics we took to his friends at work- both male and female. So maybe he is not feeling as wounded as I thought? Not sure.

He does make very good money, he probably can afford the ring, but I don't want it to be about that. If he planned to spend about $12,000, that is what I want him to stay at. I do hope he explores different grades of stone in that oval, it was quite beautiful in the setting. I personally could not tell a D from an I in color. He seems ot want a high quality stone.

There are not a lot of nice jewelry stores in our area... mostly mall jewelry stores and then the super-duper high end that is way out of our league and I think BF is shopped out. He is the kind of guy who now needs to process this and then make his move. I am the impulsive "gotta have it now" one.

Wow- you ladies are so encouraging and helpful . I love this forum.


~Julie~
 
#10
Pricescope has a section where you can find a local dealer - maybe see what comes up near you? That way, you can have the best of both worlds. Honestly, out of the 4 Cs, I think cut is the most important in the quality of the diamond. If you go down a little in color, it's still a high quality diamond. Maybe he should do their online tutorial - better to learn from a source like that versus a store that wants to sell you something, you know? I hope you find something fabulous!
 
#11
If you would like to bring the cost down, lower the colour and clarity. F VS1 or VS2 or SI1 (eye clean one) is probably going to look just as good without the super high costs associated with a D colour or a IF clarity. A flawless stone is something that is flawless only under 10X magnification. Magnify it by 20X and you might find an inclusion there. No one is going to know that the stone you are wearing is a D IF just by looking at it. Go for a D IF if it is a "mind clean" thing, KWIM? The D IF oval that you see is super expensive not just because it is bigger, but largely because it has the top colour and top clarity. You mentioned that your boyfriend wants a good quality stone. IMO, a good quality stone is defined as something with a very good or excellent cut. Between an average cut D IF and a very good/excellent cut say, FVS2, the better cut stone will perform better visually and cost significantly less too.

I second the opinion of visiting www.pricescope.com. It is not a vendor, but a jewelry/diamond/gemstone education forum with experts in the field, vendors and consumers gathered to discuss these beautiful things. I hope you will enjoy this ring shopping process.. good luck! It is meant to be fun, not meant for you to feel bad..
 
#12
You should look up "diamond brokers" in your are/. They are't in a mall paying high rent so tehir prices are lower. They usually also have a much larger selection of loose stones for you to choose from.
They also call themselves "wholesale" but that's kind of an oxymoron. . . if they're "wholesale" they wouldn't be selling to us now would they;)
I'd HIGHLY suggest this route though, also bring a photo of the setting you like, it's likely they can reproduce it as well for up to 1/2 off a mall price.

2.03 ct oval and it blew me away. It a was D colorless and flawless
Click to expand...
I'm POSITIVE you can still get a 1.95-2.15 crt spectacularly cut oval in a E or F color and SI1 for considerably less. If he was almsot comfortbale w/ that price they quoted him, you could likely go up to a 3 carat for that same price in a broker's store/office.
 
#13
i'm sorry. diamond buying is intimidating, those salespeople were tacky and rude.

i wish you guys the best, and hope you don't purchase from them.

when you finally get your perfect diamond ring, i hope you swing by the store and show it to them...then mention how you would never purchase from that store.
 
#15
Check out some online retailers:
goodoldgold.com is a great one.

I am sorry that this is how your experience had to go. This is why I refuse to go to a store. I will be buying online from now on.
 
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