Change my Tiffany E-Ring?

[thewildraven]

Anyways, we settled on a new ring:
http://www.tiffany.ca/engagement/rings/tiffany-soleste-round-ring/1carats-61100164
I don't know how long it takes for Tiffany's to produce a ring. The specs are just okay. Not great.
But, I had to work within the budget he set out for ring and band. I'm getting a cheap band to compensate for my ring of choice. I figure it's easier to upgrade the band than the e-ring.

You still don’t sound very happy about it, “had to work with his budget” “the specs are just okay. Not great” “cheap band” upgrade”. Getting engaged should be a joyful occasion it shouldn’t be about how expensive the ring is....I wonder what you class as a “cheap band”, you are already planning an upgrade ... so even though you said you were happy to work within his budget you really weren’t , you even thought the original budget which was 25k to 30k was too low as you went higher to give him options. I am sorry if I appear a little harsh but if you have very expensive expectations and he can’t or won’t fork out for them then perhaps you need to rethink what really matters to you. Being presented with an expensive (and yes by a lot of people’s standards it is very expensive) Tiffany engagement ring that your fiancé probably took a lot of time and effort choosing should have been such a happy occasion, he was probably quite excited to see your reaction.

 

[loogirl]

You clearly made it obvious you wanted a high end brand and your fiance doesn't have the budget to get you a "great specs" ring at Tiffany. He figured your need for Tiffany trumped everything.

I mean 25k for a ring is insane to most people. That is a lot of $ on something that in the end really doesn't matter. What would you have done if your fiance could only afford a 5k ring? You can't say because you will wear it everyday someone should spend 50k on it. Many lovely rings at all price points.

Good luck on your marriage, I'm guessing you're gonna need it lol.

 

[KCeboKing]

You clearly made it obvious you wanted a high end brand and your fiance doesn't have the budget to get you a "great specs" ring at Tiffany. He figured your need for Tiffany trumped everything.

I mean 25k for a ring is insane to most people. That is a lot of $ on something that in the end really doesn't matter. What would you have done if your fiance could only afford a 5k ring? You can't say because you will wear it everyday someone should spend 50k on it. Many lovely rings at all price points.

Good luck on your marriage, I'm guessing you're gonna need it lol.

I’m part of that most people. Lol. The thought of $25K on a ring sounds crazy to me! Mine was MUCH less than that, and it was still a lot to me and people around me that know. Like you said, there are lovely rings for many price points....I think there is confusion on what is important in a marriage and this is not a great way to start off an engagement...for either the parties involved.

 

[AlyceG]

I agree with others, you really don't sound happy with the new ring either. Honestly who cares about the specs. You are getting (and already had) a gorgeous sparkling Tiffany engagement ring. That is the dream of so many that will never be realised! I would love to have received a T engagement ring the price of a small car. Think about it that way.

Just try to appreciate that you are getting married to the man of your dreams! But ask yourself this, if your partner couldn't get you a ring at all... would you still say yes? Would you still marry him? Because that's what's important, not the ring.

 

[OutWest]

Time to ask yourself hard questions. Why are you getting married? Once married, are you going to expect him to go into debt to buy you more? Hopefully, he's asking himself some really tough questions, too. Maybe let him read your threads here, then talk about it? It's better to do it now then set yourself on a sure path to being among the 50% that divorce.

 

[mirrorbeyond]

I have been reading this thread and honestly feel curious because it’s a bit confusing to me. I think what Sedatedrainbow trying to say is that she was disappointed by the ring her DF chose because he gave her an impression that he wanted her input but in the end ignored her opinion. And she made it clear a couple times that she didn’t mind a non-brand or smaller size if he has a lower budget. I think she was just trying to find a balance of what she wants (size/brand name/style) with the budget he gave and got confused. Honestly, I can’t blame her because if he did give her a high expectation and every girl can be confused when choosing her e-ring herself (I have been through it cuz I was involved in our own process)

However Sedatedrainbow I would try to talk to your DF and find out why he ignored what you said? Was it a budget problem? (Why did he tell you 25-30k when the real budget is much lower?) was it that he just loves halo setting? (my DH proposed with a Tiffany setting purely because he loves the setting himself while I really don’t mind. And now I grew to love the setting myself as well) I think it’s very important to have a sit down conversation because it’s also a serious problem if he constantly ignores your thinking/needs.

 

[OutWest]

As re: budget, my understanding is that he was financing the ring on credit, so he may have overestimated what his credit line would be, or he may have sensibly decided that starting marriage in debt for a ring wasn't the best idea.

 

[kbell]

I'm sorry you're disappointed with your ring. Hopefully you love the new one. I get it... neither are like what you specified you wanted when he's the one who asked you what you liked. Why ask the ? If you're not caring about the answers? Both have micropave style halos which you did not want. I disagree with the tone of others that you're somehow wanting a more lavish or pricey ring when you said you two could explore nonbranded & he said no... it's about style. I'm glad you both agreed on an exchange & hope you love it!

My heart has always wanted a round solitaire - plain no diamonds band no halo. Had I received anything else regardless of size, regardless of brand, I wouldn't love it the same. That's being honest & has no reflection on my love for my fiance. We designed mine together. I LOVE jewelry & he knew it was important I love my forever ring.

Good luck & BEST wishes!

 

[Guuci4Me]

Wow! I am shocked at some of the not so nice comments. I think if you had wanted to put in some of your own money to get what you truly wanted that is perfectly fine. Better to get what you like now than later. I love the round soleste and they call it a round brilliant for a reason. Just know that Tiffany is amazing! They will actually let you exchange up to 6 months from the purchase. You could always exchange and pay the difference yourself even now after this exchange. A lot of men would never know the difference. Congrats and enjoy staring at your beautiful ring!

 

[sedatedrainbow]

I have been reading this thread and honestly feel curious because it’s a bit confusing to me. I think what Sedatedrainbow trying to say is that she was disappointed by the ring her DF chose because he gave her an impression that he wanted her input but in the end ignored her opinion. And she made it clear a couple times that she didn’t mind a non-brand or smaller size if he has a lower budget. I think she was just trying to find a balance of what she wants (size/brand name/style) with the budget he gave and got confused. Honestly, I can’t blame her because if he did give her a high expectation and every girl can be confused when choosing her e-ring herself (I have been through it cuz I was involved in our own process)

However Sedatedrainbow I would try to talk to your DF and find out why he ignored what you said? Was it a budget problem? (Why did he tell you 25-30k when the real budget is much lower?) was it that he just loves halo setting? (my DH proposed with a Tiffany setting purely because he loves the setting himself while I really don’t mind. And now I grew to love the setting myself as well) I think it’s very important to have a sit down conversation because it’s also a serious problem if he constantly ignores your thinking/needs.

Thanks very much for your input!
After the proposal, things just got crazy!
I had a long conversation with him afterwards about his actions. He said he didn't have the guts to say he didn't want to purchase the ring at a certain price. So, he just guessed based on his own budget.
Again, I'll add that while we were at Tiffany's he fought with the SA saying he had no problem affording the ring I wanted, he just doesn't believe in purchasing for me what I liked. That was a harsh thing to hear.

As re: budget, my understanding is that he was financing the ring on credit, so he may have overestimated what his credit line would be, or he may have sensibly decided that starting marriage in debt for a ring wasn't the best idea.

He completely could afford the ring outright. He is putting the ring on credit because he thought he might as well break up half of the price of the ring into monthly payments with no interest. There's no debt on his end with this ring.

I'm sorry you're disappointed with your ring. Hopefully you love the new one. I get it... neither are like what you specified you wanted when he's the one who asked you what you liked. Why ask the ? If you're not caring about the answers? Both have micropave style halos which you did not want. I disagree with the tone of others that you're somehow wanting a more lavish or pricey ring when you said you two could explore nonbranded & he said no... it's about style. I'm glad you both agreed on an exchange & hope you love it!

My heart has always wanted a round solitaire - plain no diamonds band no halo. Had I received anything else regardless of size, regardless of brand, I wouldn't love it the same. That's being honest & has no reflection on my love for my fiance. We designed mine together. I LOVE jewelry & he knew it was important I love my forever ring.

Good luck & BEST wishes!

Thanks for your input!
Yes, I didn't know why he bothered to ask me for input. He said he later regretted his decision to do that. I also love jewelry and if he didn't ask for my input, that would also be an indication of something.
I'm more satisfied with my new ring than the previous one. I'm happy I pushed for it. However, he does groan about going over his budget by 3k, so we're still dealing with that

Wow! I am shocked at some of the not so nice comments. I think if you had wanted to put in some of your own money to get what you truly wanted that is perfectly fine. Better to get what you like now than later. I love the round soleste and they call it a round brilliant for a reason. Just know that Tiffany is amazing! They will actually let you exchange up to 6 months from the purchase. You could always exchange and pay the difference yourself even now after this exchange. A lot of men would never know the difference. Congrats and enjoy staring at your beautiful ring!

Really? I could still exchange it? But, I suspect that I can only exchange it if I didn't change the band sizing. I didn't even know that I could get the Tiffany setting with the diamonds on the side. I'm curious if that would have been better for my taste. My SA didn't even show us that option. I completely agree with you! It's better to know what I like now and let him know what I like as well.

Thanks for your feedback!

 

[loogirl]

I still don't get it. I think you are mistaken - he clearly has issues with the price - who charges things if you can "afford it outright." Also, sorry but fighting with an SA and saying he doesn't believe in getting you something you want/like? That I can't even comprehend. Why wouldnt he want to get something you like?

 

[KCeboKing]

This whole thing confuses me. Clearly he has an issue with the price. People don’t choose to put things on credit if they can afford it. But even moreso, why is the price so important to you? It almost sounds like it is more important to have him spend X amount on it then the ring itself, or the meaning behind it. Where you said “however he does groan about going over his budget by 3k, so we are still dealing with that “ he obviously did not want to spend as much as you are making him. Yes, he should get you something you like/want, but you both should also be able to compromise on the price. If this is already causing issues...there will be so many more down the road in your marriage.