Chanel on dates

[snowbubble]

Soo this might be weird, but I started dating a new guy and have not worn any flashy designer on any of the dates. I've only been wearing high street pieces like Rebecca Minkoff, and maybe non-logo items like my Balenciaga, and a Reissue bag once.

Just so sad going on dates, and my bags are sitting at home. :C

Reason being, I didn't want to appear spendy or wasteful on money. I don't know perhaps I'm thinking too much. Perhaps, my parents made a really mean/hurtful comment about how "Your handbags are just going to scare away any good guy. No ones going to see those logos and think highly of you." Gosh that stuck in my head.

Have you ever encountered or thought about this too?

 

[snowbubble]

Really depends if the person you are dating is even aware of high end brands. Not all guys are familiar with fashion. My husband is clueless about fashion- he shops only at jc penny (no offense to penny shoppers).

in regards to your parents comments- parents say things so bluntly and it hurts and stings, but just remember they are from a different generation and they mean well. My mom would often say things that would sting, she sadly died in a car accident recently, and all the stuff age said is so irrelevant now. Maybe in some circumstances your parents are correct, and maybe their not. All it takes is one right person, and hopefully it’s someone who will love you and not judge you for purchasing, wearing or owning designer bags, even if they don’t get the allure.

I'm sorry about your mom. :C
Thank you for your reply, it makes a lot of sense. I think it stings so much because there is some truth to it.
I like what you said, "All it takes is one right person".

 

[Lejic]

As they said: I’m sure your parents mean well.

as for your dates: you might be surprised. I was actually chatting with my then-boyfriend about a girl at work who’d lost her ~7k at the time Chanel bag, and immediately bought the same right after. I’d said “if it were me I’d punish myself a little I think, you know?” My supersaver, kinda stingy, saving-enough-for-retirement-at-35 boyfriend said, wisely: “If she loved it enough to spend that much in the first place, it makes complete sense to replace it immediately.”

At first I was surprised, but then I realized he was right, and could see that even though he himself wouldn’t spend 100 bucks on a bag let alone 7k, he didn’t judge her or anything, and understood that people spend their money differently.

All that is to say: wear what you want, girl. As long as you show that overall you’re in control of your finances, he shouldn’t judge. If you were maxing out 4 credit cards, and unable to pay rent or something I might allow him to care how you spend your money.

 

[Lalaloopsy12345]

I'm sorry about your mom. :C
Thank you for your reply, it makes a lot of sense. I think it stings so much because there is some truth to it.
I like what you said, "All it takes is one right person".

Even if there is truth to it, it’s your parents truth. You can have your truth be whatever you believe. If wearing the bags makes you feel fabulous then wear them. Your partner in life is best if they treat you kindly and with respect and love, regardless of what you wear to date them.

I agree with the above poster about financial security.

 

[snowbubble]

As they said: I’m sure your parents mean well.

as for your dates: you might be surprised. I was actually chatting with my then-boyfriend about a girl at work who’d lost her ~7k at the time Chanel bag, and immediately bought the same right after. I’d said “if it were me I’d punish myself a little I think, you know?” My supersaver, kinda stingy, saving-enough-for-retirement-at-35 boyfriend said, wisely: “If she loved it enough to spend that much in the first place, it makes complete sense to replace it immediately.”

At first I was surprised, but then I realized he was right, and could see that even though he himself wouldn’t spend 100 bucks on a bag let alone 7k, he didn’t judge her or anything, and understood that people spend their money differently.

All that is to say: wear what you want, girl. As long as you show that overall you’re in control of your finances, he shouldn’t judge. If you were maxing out 4 credit cards, and unable to pay rent or something I might allow him to care how you spend your money.

Well said!
I should wear them confidently. LOL All of a sudden he's gonna be like.. HOW MANY CHANEL BAGS DO YOU HAVE?! :X
That is so true, people spend their money differently.
The narrow minded guys will judge, but turn around and spend on vehicles and watches.

 

[bisousx]

When it comes to dating, I would not dim my shine to make someone else feel more comfortable, nor would I go out of my way to flaunt them.

If anything, I would take it as a convenient red flag if a guy was intimidated by a bag. Someone who is easily intimidated and judgey is NOT someone you want. Dating should be about being yourself and being able to weed out who’s right for you - not changing who you are for them.

Good guys come in all shapes and forms, and even income levels. Even if the guy doesn’t believe in fashion or luxury spending, it can be a great conversation topic for you to banter over your passion for it and why it’s a good investment (or not).

My husband is as frugal as they come. When we first met, I would never have even thought of leaving my nice things at home and transforming into a new person in hopes he would see me different. He is not a wasteful spender at all, and I enjoyed discussing well thought out luxury purchases with him. Over the years, he has grown to appreciate my purchases and even started to admire their beauty on its own.

 

[Tahoe10]

When I dated four years ago (which led me to the guy I’m with now), I’d bring a low key bag on my first date. This is because the first date should not have unnecessary distractions (in my opinion). I didn’t want a guy to think that I expected him to buy me nice things (I buy all of my luxury items myself). After a few dates with the same guy (who is still my boyfriend four years later), the Chanels started to make their appearances. There is no reason to hide who you really are and the best part of dating is letting someone really get to know you! In retrospect, I am glad I waited a few dates because it did start conversations about money, which isn’t something I would want to do on a first date.

 

[Lalaloopsy12345]

When it comes to dating, I would not dim my shine to make someone else feel more comfortable, nor would I go out of my way to flaunt them.

If anything, I would take it as a convenient red flag if a guy was intimidated by a bag. Someone who is easily intimidated and judgey is NOT someone you want.

Good guys come in all shapes and forms, and even income levels. Even if the guy doesn’t believe in fashion or luxury spending, it can be a great conversation topic for you to banter over your passion for it and why it’s a good investment.

My husband is as frugal as they come. When we first met, I would never have even thought of leaving my nice things at home and transforming into a new person in hopes he would see me different. He is not a wasteful spender at all, and I enjoyed discussing well thought out luxury purchases with him. Over the years, he has grown to appreciate my purchases and even started to admire their beauty on its own.

that’s amazing. I have tried talking handbags with my husband and it goes nowhere. He tunes out as soon as I say handbag. Now my 10 year old son has taken interest In bags. When I told him I was selling my lv speedy he asked if he could use it because it looks like a chess board. Lol

 

[lalame]

If it's something you're into, why hide it? If he truly would lose respect for you or any woman for liking what you like, then what future would there be for you both anyway? The best thing you can do for any relationship is be yourself, period.

 

[ccbaggirl89]

My current bf, second date I wore a Chanel classic flap and he says I look nice and have a nice bag. I asked if he knew what it was and he was so proud to say "it's an LV." I asked him if he knew what it might cost and he was in the range of $50. I don't expect the typical man will know or care about women's handbags unless they have something in their lifestyle that would put them in contact with that. I'd wear what you like and 'educate' the guy later if you have to. I did - eventually - have to tell the guy what the bag cost when he saw my entire collection and it started a conversation about money, which is ultimately an important topic.

 

[showgratitude]

Soo this might be weird, but I started dating a new guy and have not worn any flashy designer on any of the dates. I've only been wearing high street pieces like Rebecca Minkoff, and maybe non-logo items like my Balenciaga, and a Reissue bag once.

Just so sad going on dates, and my bags are sitting at home. :C

Reason being, I didn't want to appear spendy or wasteful on money. I don't know perhaps I'm thinking too much. Perhaps, my parents made a really mean/hurtful comment about how "Your handbags are just going to scare away any good guy. No ones going to see those logos and think highly of you." Gosh that stuck in my head.

Have you ever encountered or thought about this too?

I am not sure that most guys know how much a signature/designer item cost--unless of course they are into those kinds of stuff as well. In which case, using your designer items shouldn't be an issue then when with him. Anyway, you date to get to know the person better and for the person to get to know you better. Why put up a fake persona? Just be real. Enjoy the date and use your designer items. If he walks away because of that, at least you found out the truth.

 

[stylistbydesign]

My DH was not into fashion when we met, but he was VERY clear that I was.....and that it would always be more than a casual interest for me. He loved that about me, even though it was not something he cared about. If the guy is worth dating seriously, he needs to know who you are. And you are a girl who loves her handbags! 25 years of marriage later, and DH is very invested in fashion, and takes longer than I do to choose his outfit and get ready. Fly your handbag flag proudly!

 

[LPR200]

I think the most important thing while dating is to be authentic. If a guy runs because you like designer bags, he wasn't the right guy for you! My husband is frugal for himself but loves to see the pleasure I get from my purses and he gamely helps me pick my big ticket fashion purchases-- not because he cares, but because I care. I try to follow baseball for him!
I kissed a lot of frogs, and the one thing I learned is people's true nature comes out-- and if you are looking to spend your life with someone, your true natures should match.
My parents sound similar to yours-- they don't get me or my love for designer. But like one of the previous posters said, their truth is there truth, not yours. You determine the life you lead! Enjoy your purses and good luck finding the prince who loves all sides of you and your bags!

 

[English1221]

When I was dating my now hubby I wasn’t into luxury bags at all, so I wouldn’t know how he would react. He makes a lot more money than I do and works around many female colleagues who are die hard Hermès fans. I don’t think he would keep dating me if I already had a Chanel bug back then. He totally worked his way up the corporate ladder from grassroots backgrounds. He would prefer someone that is more grounded and less into luxury.

 

[Egel]

If you wear a Chanel as a bag, you would treat it as a bag. But you wear the Chanel because you love the bag and you are on TPF because you love bags. I suggest wearing the bags you already wear. Have a chat about hobbies and mention bags. When things get serious have a chat about money. And after that you know him and he knows you and at least he will know it's more than just a bag.