A Fake Bag and a Friend

TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others

LoverField

LoverField

Member
Aug 21, 2015
135
183
#1
One of my closer friends, a nice person, came out to meet me, and she was carrying an obviously fake Chanel purse, like a NYC sidewalk-vendor grade fake :shocked:. I don't have a perfect purse-vision, but even I could tell that the bag was a fake made of cheap materials. She has never in her life purchased a premium designer bag herself (her husband bought her a Gucci bag a few years ago, her only premium bag), so doesn't know much about what a real Chanel bag is supposed to look like. She told me it was a limited-edition Chanel that her late mother left her. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to upset her.

I see her quite often, as we like to walk and hike together. On the one hand, I want to spare her feelings, so I think I should mind my own business. On the other hand, I am embarrassed for her, because the bag really cheapens her overall style. If I were making such a plainly visible mistake, I would rather be told, so that I can correct it. But if I (gently) tell her, it could not only hurt her feelings, but also there is nothing she can do about it short of throwing the bag away. I'm not really concerned about her getting personally mad at me, so that factor is out of the equation. And I have zero intention to lecture her about morality issues --- I don't get on high horses because I'm afraid of heights.

What would you do if a good friend of yours unknowingly were carrying a fake bag? Would you tell her?
 
  • Like
Reactions: MrsFord04
#6
I think you're overthinking this.

If the bag is such an obvious fake, chances are, other people would know it, too. If your friend genuinely believes it's a real thing, she might just end up in an awkward situation if at some point in the future someone (some stranger, not her friend) tells her the truth. Especially since she already has one Gucci bag and has expressed at least some interest in designer items.

You can simply tell her, "Sorry I didn't tell you before, but I just wanted to let you know that while this bag is pretty, it's not vintage and not made by Chanel, it's inauthentic. You can easily tell this by looking at x,y,z." I really doubt it would do any damage to your friendship, that sounds completely over-the-top. You're looking out for your friend, not attacking her sense of style or whatnot.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 880, Sparkletastic and LoverField
#7
If it was left to her by her late mother, identifying it as fake could be especially painful. I would not risk causing pain to a friend over this. If you're really scared that someone else may decry the bag as inauthentic to her, or fear that she is putting herself in a situation where she may be in danger of ridicule, you might suggest that she have it "appraised" by a professional. That way, the bad news will be broken by someone neutral, and you can be available to provide comfort if needed - which is what friends do best. :flowers:
Otherwise, holding on to something (real or fake) left to her by her mother may be helping her feel closer to someone she's lost. I wouldn't want to do anything to interfere with that.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Insightful
  • Love
Reactions: MrsFord04, VintageAndVino, DragonTurtle and 19 others
#9
A relative I'm close with is candid about and happy with her fakes. She thinks it's funny that she's mistaken for wearing authentic accessories by Chanel, Burberry, whatever, because she's known to be a stylish and wealthy woman. Her interest in spending on such things is zero. She is, on the other hand, a generous donor to important causes on a scale I can only admire.

I have to think that karmically she wins versus whatever small diatribe I'd offer. And PS I had that chat once, and she snorted and moved on.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: 880, LoverField, poopsie and 3 others
#14
jellyv said:
A relative I'm close with is candid about and happy with her fakes. She thinks it's funny that she's mistaken for wearing authentic accessories by Chanel, Burberry, whatever, because she's known to be a stylish and wealthy woman. Her interest in spending on such things is zero. She is, on the other hand, a generous donor to important causes on a scale I can only admire.

I have to think that karmically she wins versus whatever small diatribe I'd offer. And PS I had that chat once, and she snorted and moved on.
Click to expand...

I might be the only one secretly clutching at my pearls at the purse horror :nuts: I guess using a fake bag is not such a mortifying thing to non-TPFer civilians. In my crazy head, I started thinking of a scenario where a purse police calls her on it in public to embarrass her and I wanted to save her from that danger. I will mind my own business.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 880
#15
Joule said:
If it was left to her by her late mother, identifying it as fake could be especially painful. I would not risk causing pain to a friend over this. If you're really scared that someone else may decry the bag as inauthentic to her, or fear that she is putting herself in a situation where she may be in danger of ridicule, you might suggest that she have it "appraised" by a professional. That way, the bad news will be broken by someone neutral, and you can be available to provide comfort if needed - which is what friends do best. :flowers:
Otherwise, holding on to something (real or fake) left to her by her mother may be helping her feel closer to someone she's lost. I wouldn't want to do anything to interfere with that.
Click to expand...

That is an extremely tactful and thoughtful answer. Thank you.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: 880, lill_canele and Joule
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top