2023 Resolution: Shopping my Own Bags and SLG Collection

[Vintage Leather]

A long standing tradition in this thread is to remind ourselves of how wonderful our own collections are by showcasing them. We can see how far we have come, collection wise, and we reminded that we have all (or most of) what we need making it easier to shop our own closets.



• New theme weeks start each Sunday

• Don’t jump ahead but, if you miss a week, please do show your bags “late”.

• Show bags individually or in a group

• You do NOT have to wear the bags that week

• For added fun, show old pictures from previous years to demonstrate how you have curated it over time.

• This is completely voluntary. There is no pressure to post at any time.





So what are the showcases? In the Fall, we group our bags by makers! Feel free to show bags, small leather goods, or however it is easiest to organize!

August 13 - Balenciaga, Bottega Veneta

August 20 - Burberry, Celine

August 27 - Coach, Chanel

September 3 - Chloe, Dior

September 10 - Dooney & Bourke, Fendi

September 17 - Ferragamo, Givenchy

September 24 - Goyard, Gucci

October 1 - Hermes, Kate Spade

October 8 - Loewe, Longchamp

October 15 - Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs

October 22 - Michael Kors, Miu Miu

October 29 - Mulberry, Prada

November 5 - Proenza Schouler, Rebecca Minkoff

November 12 - Saint Laurent, Tods

November 19 - Tory Burch, Valentino

November 26 - Bags by Jewelers: Bulgari, Cartier, Tiffany Co, Van Cleef & Arpels. Alternatively, the pillboxes, compacts and other lovelies made by jewelers that fit in your bag.

December 3 - independent artisans and custom bags.

 

[whateve]

I hate going shopping with my husband. He is a pain in the a**. He wants to look at what he wants to look at and then gets huffy if I want to take a minute to look. It makes shopping with him an irritating experience. I avoid it whenever possible, which is surprising because I usually enjoy doing most anything with him. I typically shop by myself, while DH is working. My favorite shopping buddy (my mom) is gone. I could always count on her honest opinion on whether something looked good, fit right and was “me.” I miss her in so many ways.

My husband is "allergic" to shopping. He will occasionally come to a mall with me and find a place to sit while I shop. He wants to know how long I will be so I feel rushed. He isn't interested in anything I'm buying. I picked out everything when we remodeled. He never offered an opinion but the other day when he was showing it off to someone, he said "we" wanted it this way. So I guess he shares my taste when it comes to home furnishings.

My favorite shopping buddies are my daughters but they never go with me anymore, mostly because they live too far away. My younger daughter shares my taste more than the older one does. It isn't much fun shopping anymore. It was a weekly activity when they were in high school.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I miss mine too.

 

[DME]

My husband dislikes shopping, so I pretty much shop alone, which is fine with me. I like taking my time, trying on things and making decisions. Sometimes my friends will ask me to go shopping with them, but while I will tag along and give input if asked, when I want to buy something, especially big purchases, I prefer to go alone and take my time over it. The exception was my watch. Well, I did go alone and try them on initially, and then DH came when I was making the final decision. On that day, I was really torn between the Tank Francaise and the Must with the leather strap. Eventually I decided on the TF and told myself I would get the Must at a later date. Well, he surprised me by getting me the Tank Must with the leather strap recently! Love it! I will post pics in the near future. Sometimes I will ask him his opinion on an outfit or bag choice when we are going out, but most of the time I make the decision and he seems to be fine with whatever I pick. Once in a while, he will have strong opinions on something, but it's rare. A while back, I had a corduroy jacket in the color similar to Dior's Fard color. It was my spring jacket, but for some reason, he really disliked it, which was a pity because I actually loved that jacket. Even so, I kept it for a while, but just wore it every now and then.

Thanks, I haven't tried anything from either brand, so now I am curious to do so.

OK, so I thought this was just me! I’m all for shopping with others, but if I’m after a big purchase, or a specific purchase, I would much rather go it alone. DH or DD will tag along occasionally for these purchases, but I’m more apt to make the right decision when it’s me, myself and I.

Looking forward to watch photos. I love Cartier watches more than any other. Congratulations!

 

[Purses & Perfumes]

I hate going shopping with my husband. He is a pain in the a**. He wants to look at what he wants to look at and then gets huffy if I want to take a minute to look. It makes shopping with him an irritating experience. I avoid it whenever possible, which is surprising because I usually enjoy doing most anything with him. I typically shop by myself, while DH is working. My favorite shopping buddy (my mom) is gone. I could always count on her honest opinion on whether something looked good, fit right and was “me.” I miss her in so many ways.

The thing is, often, I like to take my time and ponder over a purchase, maybe go back once or twice to try things on if I'm not sure. However, he makes very quick decisions, so our shopping styles are quite different. Sometimes I like to linger and browse. So when I need more time to shop, it's just better to shop separately.
I'm so sorry about your mom. My mom loved shopping, but was very indecisive at times. I guess I don't really have a shopping buddy.

OK, so I thought this was just me! I’m all for shopping with others, but if I’m after a big purchase, or a specific purchase, I would much rather go it alone. DH or DD will tag along occasionally for these purchases, but I’m more apt to make the right decision when it’s me, myself and I.

Looking forward to watch photos. I love Cartier watches more than any other. Congratulations!

This, precisely. I sometimes find the input of others distracting, especially some of my friends. When I shop alone, I am more attuned to what really works for me, and make better decisions.
Thanks, the Tank Must is the most classic design from them, and I love rectangular watches.

 

[880]

He likes unique things, "cool" as he would say, things that stand out and are different than others (doesn't matter to him the cost or the brand), but it has to be special.
And then I'm like...how can I wear these things on a daily basis?! He's like...just wear it

My DH is like this too. One ends up with a number of special occasion pieces. DH loves come des garçons oerhaps bc he’s tired of the same old, same old. I’m still working out how to wear these pieces in a way that becomes part of my repertoire

And I am hesitant to buy a premier designer white handbag because of color transfer issues. I'm more comfortable with off-white

I am a newcomer to white bags, and they are like a breath of fresh air. I just make sure when I wear dark colors or denim that the garments are relatively color safe.

I can't do pain anymore

Yup

Hard to frolic in boots.

Try doc martens

my bags were just expensive & logo’s. I appreciate you all see there’s more to it than that

Of course! You have gorgeous bags that showcase your personal style

want to look good in my clothes. When I'm happy with my shape, I want clothes that will show it. When I'm not, I want clothes that hide it. I wear jeans a lot.

I’m the same, but jeans are a tricky fit for me, and stretch denim muffin tops like crazy

back, I had a corduroy jacket in the color similar to Dior's Fard color. It was my spring jacket, but for some reason, he really disliked it, which was a pity because I actually loved that jacket. Even so, I kept it for a while, but just wore it every now and then.

I like fard, but it washes me out even more than gray or straight taupe. Light neutrals are difficult

Sometimes my friends will ask me to go shopping with them, but while I will tag along and give input if asked, when I want to buy something, especially big purchases, I prefer to go alone

I tend not to purchase items when I am with friends, bc chances are, I will get home and have a what was I thinking moment. Since I dislike returning anything (especially for buyers remorse, its better to avoid the situation) i analogies shopping with friends like being at a dessert buffet.

DH loves to shop and has great taste, so if I love something, it’s a bit of a three way vote: SA; DH; and me. This works bc my SAs and DH know my taste and what I already own.

 

[Cordeliere]

The point of dressing, desirability or otherwise, is a whole other discussion, depending on context and situation

What does this mean? Sounds intriguing.

 

[Cordeliere]

This, precisely. I sometimes find the input of others distracting, especially some of my friends. When I shop alone, I am more attuned to what really works for me, and make better decisions.

I feel this way about SAs.

 

[880]

I'm wouldn't ask DH, he thinks the point of dressing is desirability. As I've written before, he likes me in corset and bias slip dresses and heels. He does not get anti-fashion or anything loose on the body at all.

What we want to wear in the moment may sometimes get in the way of what we want to project longterm, which is why - from experience, I will never wear everyday, ordinary, casual to a meeting again (however blah I feel getting dressed in the morning). It's always good to get feedback from trusted friends, family or other - but you also have to take what they say with a pinch of salt too unless the same view crops up again and again, which is how I get 'quirky' (and probably equates most closely to Chameleon form a few years ago). I would never call myself quirky, makes me sound like a pixie

What does this mean? Sounds intriguing.

I was referring to the original post by @papertiger re the point or purpose of how one selects clothes or styles an image
PT was referring to the respective preferences of her DH or friends re desirability or quirkiness. . . while making clear, I think, that what others perceive or value is not always the same as the original intention

I feel this way about SAs.

I feel this way about SAs that I do not know well. If an SA doesn’t know you, the interaction can feel like a once way push to purchase without regard to whether the prospective buyer wants to buy. An SA you know understands that browsing is important and not everything has to culminate into a purchase.

 

[Purses & Perfumes]

I am a newcomer to white bags, and they are like a breath of fresh air. I just make sure when I wear dark colors or denim that the garments are relatively color safe.

Do you pre-treat denim in any way to make them color safe? I think I read somewhere that rinsing denim in a vinegar solution helps (or maybe I am not remembering correctly).

I tend not to purchase items when I am with friends, bc chances are, I will get home and immediately think what did I do. But, DH loves to shop and has great taste, so if I love something, it’s a bit of a three way vote: SA; DH; and me.

Yup, I have a couple of friends who are huge enablers, and try to avoid shopping trips with them. Lol, the dessert buffet analogy is a good one! It's so nice that you have your DH and SA, who know your taste and style really well, to help with those shopping decisions.

I feel this way about SAs.

Some of them can be distracting rather than helpful, but I have also met a few SAs who have given me good input that I have appreciated, although the final decision was always mine. I think it's about being on the same wavelength, but also, some SAs just understand your style and what suits you, and what you're looking for when you're trying to purchase something.

 

[880]

Do you pre-treat denim in any way to make them color safe? I think I read somewhere that rinsing denim in a vinegar solution helps (or maybe I am not remembering correctly).

I posted here. others had interesting suggestions too.

Color transfer from new pants - how long? What to do?

Hi there, I bought three pairs of black pants (the fabric is bengalin) and brought them in to tailor them. I had to put them on and off a few times, also the shoes with which I would want to wear the pants, so the tailor could pin it. After that, the pair of white sneakers had my dark...

forum.purseblog.com

 

[More bags]

over that bag, twins on the scarf too

Thank you @papertiger. Yay, twins on the scarf!

 

[More bags]

So true! Those are the things that bring fulfillment like no other.
Funny how this has triggered a little nugget in my mind...I'm trying to remember a post from these threads from maybe 2 years ago that really stuck with me. I think it may have been (???) @More bags (so sorry if it wasn't you!) who was making dinner with her DDs (?) and shared this brilliant menu they had planned, consisting of all manner of wonderful dishes (including some Mexican and French meals). It stuck with me that their family ritual was to work together and make fabulous meals, and how it would forge even deeper connections and create great memories for their kids to look back on later.
I've gone off on a tangent and I'm probably misremembering a lot of the details (my memory is truly rubbish) but you could feel that anchoring of "family quality time" from that simple post. It's something we should all be so lucky to experience, in whatever form we can get it (parental love, marital stability, chosen family, etc.).

Loving this discussion! So sorry for my very long replies again. Thank you all for giving me so much to mull over!

Hi @jblended, thanks for the mention, is this the story you were thinking of, re: Meal Planning …

In terms of mindfulness, gratitude and appreciation, I changed my mindset, my approach and feelings about cooking the daily meals, dinner, in particular. You’ve probably heard of “get to” vs. “have to.” I used to get frustrated and annoyed about cooking for my family, the time and effort required for meal planning, grocery shopping, processing the groceries when you get home, preparing the meals, cleaning up the dishes, etc.

Instead of ”I have to make dinner, again.” I feel happier when I think, “I get to make dinner.” I can afford to buy groceries, I can buy a variety of healthy ingredients, we get to enjoy sitting down together to share a meal regularly. Meals are a source of sustenance as well as connection in our family. During Covid, I engaged my sons and husband with doing meal planning. For our current routine, they sometimes assist with preparation, and often do the clean up. My younger son took a Foods class as a school option and he enjoys helping out in the kitchen. He also used to be my picker eater as a younger kiddo.

Good food and shared meals is an anchor of comfort and security in our home. We are blessed to enjoy the food, and each other’s company. What are some of your favourite Family Classic Recipes or Meals?

 

[More bags]

Coming up for air after a messy and deeply depressing month. I hope nobody minds if I post my monthly stats early.
Mum and I had a big clear out. We let go of:

- A big chunk of mum’s fine china (to be sold at auction and all proceeds to go to Ukraine, Yemen, Turkey and Syria).

- Some more sterling silver jewellery, as per my resolution to reduce to only my favourite fine jewellery pieces. Also auctioned, as per above.

- Clothes, including much of my remaining workwear. Not gonna lie, this had me sobbing. It was a necessary step to let go of my former life and truly accept that I can’t undo the accident, and I can’t go back to the way things were before.
Part of me was holding out hope for a normal job though I know I don’t have a normal appearance to match. This is me closing that chapter, once and for all, after many (so, so many) previous half-attempts to do so.
The clothes went to a charity helping women returning to the workforce. Much better than them sitting in my storage unit waiting to see the light of day again.

- 2 bags! This wasn’t planned and I wasn’t quite ready to let go but, I was already donating so figured I should just add the bags along with the workwear. Mum also donated 2 of her bags and 2 wallets.
We have a couple of vintage bags we’re ready to release but the corner of the world I’m in will not value their history. I will wait until I’m back home at some point to let them go. Whether it’s to friends or to a small thrift shop, I know that vintage will be better understood (and the items respected) back in England.

- 3 watches (1 of which was mum's). Also unplanned but happy about it. Someone else will love them.
I think I have one more I want to let go of. I’m going to enjoy it for a bit longer, just to be sure, and then put a new strap on it before letting it go.

We also managed to make a nice gift out of some personal care items. When I moved here, I was given vouchers for various stores (Zara, H&M, etc.) to help set me up. As they were non-transferable, I tried to use them wisely and picked up some homeware, small perfume bottles, body lotions and other assorted bits. None of it was stuff I’d wanted or was using, and I’d gifted some of it earlier on but, somehow still had the majority left with me.
Mum packed it all into a pretty gift box, added a cultured pearl necklace and bracelet set of hers, and we gave the box to the overnight custodian who cleaned my ward during my admission this month.
She is the sweetest young girl who always had a smile on her face while working her exhausting shift. She was thrilled at the very random selection and immediately tried on the pearls and sprayed some of the perfume. Was incredible to see her light up and get so excited.

I can’t remember my year-to-date stats but, there’s less of everything. I am reminded of how incredibly fortunate I am to have enough to share.

Sadly, I have only carried 2 bags so far this year (the 2 I just donated, lol). My goal for a while has been to reduce my bag collection and I am making great progress in that area by slowly removing bags as the opportunity arises.
I will be moving into the rainbow metallic suede bag I made. I’m quite excited to see how it’ll hold up with some daily use and am hoping the bright colours will help lift my mood a bit.

Gah, I need to stop with these crazy long posts! Sorry everyone!


PS. @dcooney4 Did you get that tan Hammitt? How do you like it? Sorry if you've answered this before but for some reason I've stopped getting alerts for thread updates.
______

Also, topic for the group, if anyone is up for chatting:
Do you think people notice when they begin to take their privilege for granted? Or can we slip into entitlement without even realizing it?
Those of you raising kids, do you worry that they may not recognize their privilege because this generation is so used to seeing luxury on social media?
It’s a broad topic, sorry, but I’m interested in any thoughts you may have.

I am sorry it was a tough month(s). Great to hear you and your mom are recovering. Congratulations on all of your recent activity and outs. You bring light and joy to many!

Your question about privilege reminded me of the Wheel of Power and Privilege. It was particularly interesting to plot my spot on each of the categories, appreciate my privilege, and consider how I can use my power to uplift those who are marginalized. Keep up the great posts @jblended, we are all continuing to learn and grow from our feelings of being connected, and these insightful conversations.


https://www.thisishowyoucan.com/post/__wheel_of_power_and_privilege

 

[Bag peace]

That's interesting. When you got impatient and squirmy, were you following the therapist, or did you try on your own?

Twice with a hypnotherapist who specializes in guided meditation for PTSD, and several times on my own. Unfortunately a fail every time.

Doing about 7 to 10 minutes regularly is more effective than longer sessions, especially in the beginning. Longer time frames might make you squirmy if you're not used to it.

Thank you so much for this advice and for the videos to look up. I will definitely try again. You're also spot on about the length of time because my own attempts were always 45 mins+ so perhaps it was too much.

Hi @jblended, thanks for the mention, is this the story you were thinking of, re: Meal Planning …

Yes!!!! Thank you for somehow figuring out what I was talking about, even though I seem to have gotten every. single. detail. wrong.

Instead of ”I have to make dinner, again.” I feel happier when I think, “I get to make dinner.”

I love this approach and will remember it. It also reminds me of something similar that I follow when I set my intentions for myself. People tend to focus on what they want to "do" (lose weight, buy a car, etc.), but a better approach is focusing on who or what I want to "be". That means my goals are aligned with my principles, and every action I take is also aligned with that. So, using the same example, instead of wanting to lose weight, I'd focus on wanting to be healthy. It's broader but covers more important things like nutrition, exercise, supplements, but then the other bits we forget like mental and emotional well being, healthy interpersonal relationships, etc.
This has now moved away from privilege, but it's generally been a really good mentality for me to embrace, and I feel better viewing the world through this lens.

Your question about privilege reminded me of the Wheel of Power and Privilege.

This is amazing and it's the first time I'm seeing it! Thank you for sharing!

 

[papertiger]

I was referring to the original post by @papertiger re the point or purpose of how one selects clothes or styles an image
PT was referring to the respective preferences of her DH or friends re desirability or quirkiness. . . while making clear, I think, that what others perceive or value is not always the same as the original intention

As Leotard would say all economies are based on desire (Libidinal Economy) desire is what you make ir, intended or otherwise.

DH's desire is built around the idealised hourglass shape of a woman, mine is to create a expression of harmony translated from what I feel on the inside on any particular day. Occasionally, these may chime but sometimes they may clash.

 

[papertiger]

The worst things an SA can say to me are:

1. "It looks nice with what you're wearing" (I'm looking in a mirror, I can see that for myself!)
2. "X (celeb. name) has one" (then I don't want it)
3. "It makes you look 'fresher'" (er yer, thanks - you think I look tired/old without it)
4. "It fits you perfectly" (that's not the only criteria for buying stuff) My sister hates this because she is larger and the SA makes her feel obligated to buy because they found something that actually fits her.
5. "We only have one left" (did I ask?)
6. "Let me check if we can sell it" (fine, don't bother)
7. "it's only a little mark/pull/scratch" (pardon me for wanting new to look - new)