Why are some people so inconsiderate ?

#16
I think a lot of the OP's points are valid, but sometimes stuff happens..ya know. I mean, I went to a concert this past Friday and I was late, but it was cause my gf got caught up late at the vet (it took over an hour for them to even get called back). We were about 15 minutes late to the show, but we certainly tried out best to enter quietly and find our seats without much commotion (we figured out the rows from the back of the theater where there weren't people sitting).
Also, 9 times out of 10 I remember to turn my ringer off when I go see a movie, but sometimes I just forget.
For your other points, I agree. I often see people entering our building with me maybe 5 strides behind them yet instead of holding the door, they just let it slam in my face. I usually say "No no, I got it, thanks!" when I get in the door. Of course, they turn around oblivious to what was going on.
 
#17
I was taught to say "please" and "thank you." - Not just a quick, dismissive "thanks" either. But a genuine, "Oh, thank you!"

Like other people said, it bothers me when people think they're better than other people.

I hate it when people throw multiple F-bombs into their conversations for no reason at all. Like, "F this, F that . . . Fing this, Fing that . . . "

For the most part, people shouldn't say those things. They're rude and they start to lose their meaning when every other word is the F word. Then it just starts to get annoying.

There's a difference between using it very rarely to show how mad you are (or to place emphasis on something - as in, "I Fing LOVE those shoes!") but don't pepper every other word in every conversation.

Sometimes, though, you get mad enough, you just have to curse. (But never at people.) You feel better when you curse. "Son of a *****!" gets out so much more anger than "Heck to phooey!"

I'll be on the phone with my dad. I'll be mad enough about something to say the F word and I'll still hear "Language" from him.
 
#18
(To add to my profanity rant: If those words MUST be used, never use them in front of children. Growing up, my dad never said anything worse than "G.D.," "J.C." and the S bomb. But that was only when he was really mad. And it goes without saying to never teach your children to say profanities.)


I only saw this happen once, and I'm REALLY hoping it never happens again.

Calling a woman a ***** used to be such a terrible thing someone can do. Now women have owned that word where they use it either in anger or as a term of endearment. (As with the F word though, I believe less is more.)

There's even a worse word than '*****' and that's the c-word. That word doesn't need owning. It's a terrible word, and nobody should call anyone else that word EVER! It's bad when a woman calls another woman that, and it's even worse if a guy calls a woman that.

So I remember being SO disgusted that I saw a picture of Paris Hilton walking into a club with a belt and "The C Word" in HUGE crystal letters was emblazoned on the buckle.

I don't get the point of that. The word is going to be censored out, so it's not like people reading magazines can see the belt.


Okay, I just realized I'm ranting, so I'll wind it up.

One more thing: Extrememly rude t-shirts. There's a time and a place to wear them. My dad still tells the story about the time he was in a Hawaiian airport and he saw a guy wearing a shirt with "F YOU" emblazoned across it in huge letters.

Sixteen year olds do NOT need to be wearing a shirt that says, "I tought your boyfriend that thing you like." (Why don't you just let your daughter wear a t-shirt that says "Jailbait" and be done with it?)

There are funny shirts, there are witty shirts and then there are just plain rude shirts. You can be funny and witty without being rude.

I love funny shirts and I love witty shirts. My favorite: a shirt that said, "Challah back!" (and it had a picture of challah bread on it).
 
#19
Perhaps we should all meet up somewhere really nice to have conference to start a polite revolution as Purse-boy suggested. Hawaii anyone ??

I totally agree with everything that everyone has said here as I’ve experienced all the rude manners you’ve mentioned in your posts. It’s often ironic that many people who behave badly are the ones who should know better. Many parents set a bad example to their children. It saddens me when I hear about people getting upset by the thoughtlessness and inconsideration of others – because manners cost nothing at the end of the day.

I was always brought up to say “please”, “thank you”, “excuse me” etc and to write thank you letters. I’ve sent Christmas/wedding/birthday presents and quite often I’ve had to phone a few weeks later to see if they’ve even arrived – no phonecall or note from the recipient to say “thank you” – even though I may have spent a lot of time choosing something nice. On the subject of gifts - what’s all this about people asking for a receipt when they receive a present because they may want to take it back to the store and either exchange it or get their money back ? :nuts: I guess it’s OK between partners or between parents/children (as I remember my parents once bought me a piece of clothing and said they had kept the receipt in case the size was wrong) but I have been asked for a receipt from a friend because she didn’t like the ornament I gave !! I was brought up to say “thank you – that’s really lovely” (or words to that effect) whenever I was given something – even if I had it already or didn’t like it.

BagAngel - you’re quite right to say that thoughtlessness extends to other areas of life as well as just manners. To cut a long story short (can I tell a short story – I’m not so sure ?) – a friend of mine, who I’d known for many years, lost her husband suddenly a few years ago. I tried to help as much a possible – always available if she needed me, getting shopping, available if she wanted to go out to a restaurant/theatre etc – in fact I gave her priority over all my other friends because of her situation. Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t do for others to get something back, but friendship should be give and take and it’s nice if someone thinks about your welfare. After a few years of always being there for her I went through a difficult patch myself, my father was very ill over many months in hospital and I was ill also – so obviously wasn’t available to go out so often. Did I ever get a phonecall to ask how I was or how my father was doing (NB. my phone keeps a record of all incoming calls even if they’re not answered) ? Did she ever leave a message on my answer machine enquiring how everything was going ? Did I have any offers to go out for a coffee or offers of getting groceries or some other help (I wasn’t expecting this even though I’ve done it myself). The answer (as you’ve all probably guessed) is a resounding NO. Enough said.

Charles – I do sympathise – as I said before, I know things do go wrong. I suppose the thing to do is to try and make a bad situation better not worse.

Anyway I think you’re all wonderful people (I do mean that as well ). :flowers:

“Manners maketh man” – said by someone who was brought up correctly.
 
#20
I totally know what you mean, I was in a restaurant last Saturday with my other half and there was this huge table of people with babies, ther must have been about ten couples and they all seemed to have toddlers and babies that kept crying, they kept standing up over our table walking around, getting nappies out in full view, I might be a grump but I don't think you should take babies to restaurants especially that many, it ruined our meal totally, I also hate it when people talk on mobiles in art galleries!
 
#22
I hate people who cut in line! I yell at those people, which isn't exactly tactful, but I do. I also hate inconsiderate drivers. I think a lot of the things listed do happen out of forgetfulness or necessity, though, rather than inconsiderateness (word?).
 
#23
caitlin1214 said:
My dad hates when he holds doors open for people and they walk through without even thanking them. He just wants to yell after them, "You're welcome!"
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LOL, I did that with a girl one time.. I asked her if she wanted to go ahead of me in line at Target because she only had 3 or 4 things. The girl just looks at me, walks in front of me & puts her stuff down on the conveyor belt. I stood there for a split second & I could feel the hair on the back of my neck start to stand up~ I loudly cleared my throat & said "Oh, your welcome!" with a big smile on my face. She turned & said "Uh, oh thanks." I wanted to beat her in the head with 24 pack of Diet Pepsi:cursing:

My other peeves are driver's who don't wave when you let them out in traffic & people who are SO lazy & leave their empty shopping carts in the parking lot when the cart return is 20 steps away! One time, I was coming out of the store & saw a lady wedge her empty cart between the grill of my car & the car across from me. I was livid. She hadn't pulled out yet so I calmly took the cart & wheeled it in front of her van so she had to get out to move it. Mean, yes.. Did she get the point, :yes:
 
#24
Jimmychoochoos said:
BagAngel - you’re quite right to say that thoughtlessness extends to other areas of life as well as just manners. To cut a long story short (can I tell a short story – I’m not so sure ?) – a friend of mine, who I’d known for many years, lost her husband suddenly a few years ago. I tried to help as much a possible – always available if she needed me, getting shopping, available if she wanted to go out to a restaurant/theatre etc – in fact I gave her priority over all my other friends because of her situation. Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t do for others to get something back, but friendship should be give and take and it’s nice if someone thinks about your welfare. After a few years of always being there for her I went through a difficult patch myself, my father was very ill over many months in hospital and I was ill also – so obviously wasn’t available to go out so often. Did I ever get a phonecall to ask how I was or how my father was doing (NB. my phone keeps a record of all incoming calls even if they’re not answered) ? Did she ever leave a message on my answer machine enquiring how everything was going ? Did I have any offers to go out for a coffee or offers of getting groceries or some other help (I wasn’t expecting this even though I’ve done it myself). The answer (as you’ve all probably guessed) is a resounding NO. Enough said.
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I so cannot believe the similarity in our stories. One which always hurts me a "friend" whose husband died, I took her everywhere, always in my house & out with us when going. When I separated a few years later she never called, visited or asked me out, she dumped me completely! Some time later I met her & asked if i had done something to offend her, knowing that I hadn't, she asked me was she still welcome she would love to come to my house & explain. I said she was then I said to her "Perhaps I know what the reason was. I think it is a small town & you didnt want to be seen to be taking sides?" She said "Yes" that was it! I said to her "Well you know what, don't bother calling you are not welcome!!!! I am rarely rude but i think she really deserved it!
 
#25
Two years ago my Aunt died and a month later we went for a party at my husbands relatives...so I was wearing an Indian bracelet my Uncle had given me of my Aunt's, so one of the relative girls says OH new bracelet I said yes my Aunt passed away last month and My uncle gave it to me, she said Oh look at the new bracelet my husband gave me for Christmas!???? No mention of what I said. Now I went to her Aunt's wake, who I never met but it was for her, went to her grandma's funeral and her husband Uncle's funerals, sent cards and flowers also and I never met them. She and her husband had met my grandma many times at my house, so My Uncle (the same whose wife passed) dies two months after Christmas, a week after his Mom, my Grandma. My husband called to tell his family because my husband was very close with my Grandma and we never got a phone call or visit or any mention ever from them? You would think death etiquette would be a basic with people no? And we see these people very often so they had alot of oportunities to say "I heard, I'm sorry, wish your mom well"...nothing.:shrugs: Sometimes I think some people think you only exist for them and to do for them but when it comes to giving a little back...they have nothing to give.
 
#27
Kimmi said:
Two years ago my Aunt died and a month later we went for a party at my husbands relatives...so I was wearing an Indian bracelet my Uncle had given me of my Aunt's, so one of the relative girls says OH new bracelet I said yes my Aunt passed away last month and My uncle gave it to me, she said Oh look at the new bracelet my husband gave me for Christmas!???? No mention of what I said. Now I went to her Aunt's wake, who I never met but it was for her, went to her grandma's funeral and her husband Uncle's funerals, sent cards and flowers also and I never met them. She and her husband had met my grandma many times at my house, so My Uncle (the same whose wife passed) dies two months after Christmas, a week after his Mom, my Grandma. My husband called to tell his family because my husband was very close with my Grandma and we never got a phone call or visit or any mention ever from them? You would think death etiquette would be a basic with people no? And we see these people very often so they had alot of oportunities to say "I heard, I'm sorry, wish your mom well"...nothing.:shrugs: Sometimes I think some people think you only exist for them and to do for them but when it comes to giving a little back...they have nothing to give.
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So sorry you had such a horrible experience & I totally agree with what you say. I have a friend when I call her I just sit & say nothing & listen to her problems. I laugh to myself when I think I am paying for this call LOL
My mum had surgery last Thursday it took her until Saturday evening to call me to see whether she had lived or died!
 
#28
This eve, I was told I was in my own little sheltered world. In general, I find that a lot of people are clueless about etiquette. Sounding like my mother--sometimes she's right. The cellphone thing really gets me. People have the most intimate of conversations on the phone, I am shocked by their lack of consideration. Often people no longer express a simple thank you and don't know how to behave in a theater or concert. I recently went to a concert of Baroque music and people clapped in between the movements (Ok, not so grave, but that was the kind of thing they taught in school, you know, with things like sharing, not shoving people,). Talking in movies, taking up the whole seat on the bus or subway, not standing for the elderly, pregnant or disabled. It is very sad, because these are little things, but they all add up.
 
#30
And I perfectly agree, manners are becoming a rarity these days in a fast moving society where people don't bother to slow down for a "thank you" or a "please".

I especially hate badly behaved kids in public places. If they are at home and behave badly, then it's the parents' business and nobody else's. But when you are in public, for goodness sake, have some respect for fellow humans. Kids screaming their lungs out, throwing tantrums on the floor of shopping malls or supermarkets....pushing and shoving....I hate it.

Whatever happened to "little kids should be seen and not heard"? or "spare the rod and spoil the child"? Suitable supervision and discipline should be meted out to kids who behave badly, otherwise they grow up to be rotten adults....grrrrr
 
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