What's the fuss over engagement rings?

#16
I'm about the same age as you are too, and me and my bf have talked about engagement as well. He has been talking about a bigger diamond for me than he wanted like around (2-2.5 ct center stone). I was kind of happy :nuts: that he told me he wanted to get one about that big for me but i was only so happy until he told me that he knows a girl who has a 2 ct. ring and wants me to have just as much as she does ( he didn't say it that way but i knew he implied it). hmm........ i don't want any competition here. LOL
i think the big fuss is over materializing that a bigger ring means the best. it doesn't matter anyone but yourself and how it makes you feel.
Some people would rather have the ring than over the house and these are issues to be dealt with personally. nobody can make that decision for you. if you ask me why someone would buy a ring over a house, i could probably give you many reasons why and then i could give you many reasons why to not. but it just all depends on the person.

i love the story about how you started to realize about your worth and material things. :wlae: very good. and i think its up to you two to talk about what size and what will make you happy (truely). maybe you can work a compromise out. good luck! :smile:
 
#17
I've gone back and forth on this. Part of me wanted the beautiful sparkly ring, and the other side was never comfortable with the amount of money it would cost. What is much more exciting to me are the conversations that my bf and I have about getting married, buying a house together, and planning a family (all things I feel more excited and confident about spending money on than a ring). I will be thrilled when he proposes, and feel very proud to wear a simple band on my right hand as an engagement ring (which is custome where he is from in Europe). (Plus, I figure that later in my life if I really want a diamond ring, I can buy myself one if I find one that I truly love!) :yes:
 
#18
I guess I'm going to be in the minority here, but I love my engagement ring more than just about anything in the world. My BF and I bought a house about two years before we got engaged. We paid cash for the ring.

My ring a 1.6 carat asscher in a diamond and platinum halo. I've had the ring for over a year, and I still love to stare at it. It is so beautiful. So me.

I love it because my FI got me exactly the ring I wanted. And I am going to wear it for the rest of my life - every day. I love what the ring symbolizes. I just love it.

Anyway, I don't think someone should go into debt for a ring. But if you can afford it, it is the one thing you may have for the rest of your life.

I don't think it mean I'm taken...I just think it means that I look at my left hand and see what I consider to be an amazing ring, from an amazing man. Just makes me smile! :yes:
 
#19
What you need to consider is YOUR wishes on the matter. If you are totally honest with yourself, will it irk you if you don't have a nice ring, especially since you both can afford one? Will you be happy if he chooses not to go with a nice engagement ring, or will you just accept it because you feel you should?

It may not seem important now, when you are so in love and considering marriage, but it might bother you more and more as the years go on if you accepted his wishes on this issue instead of your own.

So there isn't a "right" answer. Engagement rings are important to some people and not important to others. The only conflict is when someone from the first category marries someone from the second!
 
#20
I love the way to put it...its sooo true that its not that important.....its way to commercialized....

I dont have any opinion either way really...some like it big, others dont, some dont care at all, others do......

For me, I like the design of jewelry more than the carat weight.
 
#21
I think YOUR wishes are the important ones here. Personally I feel very strongly that a man should get a woman what she wants in this case, within reason given his salary and savings. I love my ring, its a Tiffany 1 ct. classic solitaire. We had a bigger buget but the ring I choose is less than 1 month of his net salary - not really a big deal in my opinion. Some people want a certain sized ring or a 2-3 months salary sized ring.

I also come from a cultural background where the husband is expected to buy his wife nice jewelry. I just honestly think if you decide you want a nice ring you should have one and if your fiance has problems with that he will likely have problems with the others things you spend your money on. Don't feel guilted into acting one way or the other, just do what feels right for YOU.
 
#22
I really didn't think that I wanted an expensive ring -- over the years my SO has bought me several semi-precious and CZ rings because those were what I wanted and what I picked out to wear on my left hand.

He was really, really surprised when the next ring that I fell in love with was a 1.38 carat diamond with another 68 points in side stones!

Despite all his complaining about the cost, I think he is secretly happy to have bought me a "real engagement ring."
 
#23
littlelysser said:
I guess I'm going to be in the minority here, but I love my engagement ring more than just about anything in the world. My BF and I bought a house about two years before we got engaged. We paid cash for the ring.

My ring a 1.6 carat asscher in a diamond and platinum halo. I've had the ring for over a year, and I still love to stare at it. It is so beautiful. So me.

I love it because my FI got me exactly the ring I wanted. And I am going to wear it for the rest of my life - every day. I love what the ring symbolizes. I just love it.

Anyway, I don't think someone should go into debt for a ring. But if you can afford it, it is the one thing you may have for the rest of your life.

I don't think it mean I'm taken...I just think it means that I look at my left hand and see what I consider to be an amazing ring, from an amazing man. Just makes me smile! :yes:
Click to expand...

Thats how I feel about my wedding band.

I'm glad I found this thread. When we decided to get married, there was no need for an engagement ring.

I think the fuss over engagement rings is instilled in us for corporate gain. Ever notice the amount of diamond commercials over Christmas and Valentines Day? :idea:
 
#24
I :heart: my engagement ring. It cost my DH $25k. We were financially able to afford this much, no more!! See i think as long as you put the house repayment, bills, wedding etc first, then spend only what you can afford.

I think an engagement ring is important, you must be happy with it!! You will wear this everyday for the rest of your life.... Well hopefully!! :smile:
 
#25
it will be nice to have one. i think the idea of engagement ring has been inflated by romantic movies.
but its better to have a marriage life that works vs a nice engagement ring.
i dont even wear mine everyday..i might lose it :smile:
 
#26
When we were in Europe, I felt fine with my bands or a smaller diamond but here in the US, I usually feel better with some sort of 'rock'.

It seems like my diamonds grow and shirink during the flights.:confused1: ...What seems barely visible here in the Bay Area feels a bit atrocious in Paris, but what seems fine there feels dinky and too small here... :shrugs:

In fact, last year I had my first eng. ring diamond made into half of a stud earring set.

I'm still trying to figure it out. I'd just buy what I love...you'll probably end up with more than one or two rings(i have several already and we married in 02). You can change acc'd to your mood and the occasion.
 
#29
I think when it comes to rings, it's the sentiment that counts. Most of my friends opted out of big engagement rings, instead getting graceful, smaller rings, and I love all of their choices. A few of my friends got ornate wedding bands with diamonds and wear that alone rather than a big engagement ring and plain band. I personally love my great grandmother's engagement ring, which was emerald (as someone earlier in the thread mentioned), and would love to try to get a similar style (though good emeralds are so much more expensive than diamonds, eek!). Just set a budget and pick a ring you love in that budget. The only bad choices I've seen are when girls try to get the biggest diamond for the money and pick a low quality stone.
 
#30
My engagement ring is the most important piece of jewelry I own. My DH and I were dating for 5 years before he proposed...just the way that he did it, all the planning, and the fact that he picked out this diamond all on his own with all the love in his heart, that is awesome! My diamond is not huge, a .62 pear, but I could never trade it for another...I love it! As for the cost...I think that it cost him around $1500 in 1995 and it was set in a plain 14K yellow gold solitaire setting. The setting has since been replaced (it was damaged) with a white gold antique style setting with princess cut and pave diamonds.
 
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