Trying to be calm: This is what happens when you don't buckle your kids up!!
- Thread starter Sternchen
- Start date
So glad that little girl is okay and wasn't more seriously injured.
I'm trying to stay as calm as I possibly can while writing this, since everything is okay...But I'm just very angry and upset.
My aunt asked me last night if I would go with her to a furniture store so she could pick out some furniture for the addition on their house and have someone else's opinion there too.
The place we had to go was around 45 minutes away and we had to drive on the autobahn to get there. Traffic has been bad the past few days gearing up for the holiday that is coming up this weekend but luckily it wasn't bad today. We were driving on the autobahn (going around 160kmh or so) and all of a sudden a truck pulls out in front of my aunt, and I had to slam on my brakes to avoid slamming into the back of Anja since she pulled her E-brake. The only thing I saw in Anja's car was Nicole flying forward. ...She didn't have her buckled in (as always) just had her arms though the straps to avoid the police when they drive by.The hood of her car went under the bottom of the trunk a bit, but it's not like she slammed into it going full speed - thank God!
I don't remember much of what happened after that. I was in high addrenaline mode. A truck that was behind us had stopped and took over the 2 lanes where the accident was, so that nobody could go through and pose a danger to us. I grabbed the baby and got out of the car to check on Anja and Nicole. Anja was fine, and had a few cuts and bruises, and Nicole was laying in the back in the little part between the backseat and the back of the front seat (where you put your feet). She wasn't crying - I don't think she knew what was going on until her mom started to cry, and then she did too. I saw right away from the look of Nicole that her arm was broken and told Anja to leave her in the car just in case anything else was injured or broken and to wait until the paramedics came.
They came relatively quickly, within about 10 minutes and wisked Nicole off to the hospital and Anja went with a police officer in the ambulance. We were also checked out onscene, and everything was fine. We were far enough away from Anja's car that nothing could have really happened.
I went to the hospital after that to see how Nicole was. She has a broken arm and her shoulder was dislocated. They have done surgery on her arm and placed some pins and rods in there since it was broken pretty badly, and she seems to be fine now. I stayed at the hospital for a few hours to make sure that everything was alright and to talk to Anja after the police officer had finished talking to her.
She was extremely upset, and it took a lot for me not to go ballistic on her - but I didn't. I may save that for a later time. Apparently the police have to file a report of this and she will probably be visited by the German Social Services to see what's going to happen. She was scared of what to tell her husband, as would I!! Bart would kill me. But...This is one horrible decision that she has made and she's going to have to live with the fact that because she was stupid and irresponsible, her 4 year old has a broken arm and had a dislocated shoulder and also has a black eye now.
So...I've pretty much got everything out now. Thanks for reading. Nicole is doing fine now. She's in her hospital room with another little girl who also has a broken arm.
Please...Buckle your kids up EVERY SINGLE TIME you get in the car. It doesn't matter if you're "just" running to the store, accidents can happen anywhere!
You are all lucky to be alive! I am glad that the baby only received injuries that she will be able to overcome (hopefully). So many children lose their lives like this, it does not take too much to buckle up. Good luck with everything.
so thankful she is okay. I hope Anja has learned her very emotional and expensive lesson. thanks for sharing this cause it is very important stuff. hope you are able to relax a little more now too - you've been through alot also.
I was raised having to wear my seatbelt even before most people wore them. My mom used to always say she never understood how she could see women with their kids at the pediatrician's office getting them shots that would protect them against viruses they'd probably never be exposed to and then go put them in the car with no seatbelt.
I don't even ride my dog in the car without being in her kennel.
I don't even ride my dog in the car without being in her kennel.
Okay, so quick update on what happened since yesterday afternoon.
The Social Services ended up visiting my aunt and uncle's house, doing a search on it to make sure that it is "fit" for a child to live in and to make sure that nothing dangerous or illegal is going on in the house. They also requested to visit every one of her private caretakers - so they also ended up here. They were very nice and even appologized for having to come, but that it was procedure. They pretty much just asked questions like "Where does she sleep?", "Do you have a carseat for her or do you get one when they drop her off?", "Have you noticed any signs of abuse or neglect, etc?".
Things are NOT good between my aunt and uncle right now. He is soooooo furious with her that he told her she had to stay in the living room to sleep or else he was going to tell her to leave. Not. Good.
Nicole loves Lillifee, so I went out and bought some extra Lillifee crayons (same as Crayola, just cost 10x more, lmao) and 2 coloring books for her and a Caillou book. I'm going to go with her godmother Stephanie this afternoon after Stephanie is done with work.
I think this whole incident has let loose a lot of bad feelings that we've had about Anja. Not just in the way she is with Nicole, but the way she is in her marriage (she goes out clubbing until 3am with her single girlfriends..) and the way she is in her life (We're thinking she has an eating disorder)...Hmphf. This is all really so stressful. Why did she have to be so stupid?
...Made me really evaluate if it would be safe to leave Julia with her when the time comes!
The Social Services ended up visiting my aunt and uncle's house, doing a search on it to make sure that it is "fit" for a child to live in and to make sure that nothing dangerous or illegal is going on in the house. They also requested to visit every one of her private caretakers - so they also ended up here. They were very nice and even appologized for having to come, but that it was procedure. They pretty much just asked questions like "Where does she sleep?", "Do you have a carseat for her or do you get one when they drop her off?", "Have you noticed any signs of abuse or neglect, etc?".
Things are NOT good between my aunt and uncle right now. He is soooooo furious with her that he told her she had to stay in the living room to sleep or else he was going to tell her to leave. Not. Good.
Nicole loves Lillifee, so I went out and bought some extra Lillifee crayons (same as Crayola, just cost 10x more, lmao) and 2 coloring books for her and a Caillou book. I'm going to go with her godmother Stephanie this afternoon after Stephanie is done with work.
I think this whole incident has let loose a lot of bad feelings that we've had about Anja. Not just in the way she is with Nicole, but the way she is in her marriage (she goes out clubbing until 3am with her single girlfriends..) and the way she is in her life (We're thinking she has an eating disorder)...Hmphf. This is all really so stressful. Why did she have to be so stupid?
...Made me really evaluate if it would be safe to leave Julia with her when the time comes!
I am 100% with you on this. Kids should not be in a car without proper restraints. I NEVER allow my little one in anyones car without a car seat. I don't care how much they roll their eyes when I tell them they have to take it if they are taking her. Safety first!!!
Yeah, I remember the car seat drama... no offense but your Anja sounds like a nutty woman... not doing as much as she can to want to protect her child.. hopefully this teaches her a lesson... sometimes, unfortunatley in order for people to learn, horrible things like this need to happen... sadly again, in her child's welfare... ugh.. so disappointing.. I hoope Nicole is ok, and I would definitley let out my anger and let your aunt know how you feel!
Do NOT leave Julia with her!
Never, ever leave Julia with such a careless woman! If she doesn't care about the welfare of her kid in a dangerous situation - yes, driving is dangerous, no matter what - you cannot expect her to take good care of yours!!
So...went to see Nicole today and she was in good spirits. Loved the coloring book, crayons, book and she was happy that Julia came along too (she calls her her sister, lol).
I was contacted by Social Services again this afternoon asking again if I had ever noticed any signs of abuse (physical, sexual, or mental) in Nicole and if I had ever noticed any type of manipulation. I did say that I do believe Anja manipulates Nicole at times, by telling her to say to her father "Don't make mommy mad, or I'm going back to Poland with her" (I heard this direct from her mouth, and I went like this
).
I asked what was going to happen from now, but they said they weren't allowed to answer that, but they would contact me again in the future.
Stephanie (my cousin), the rest of my family and I are pretty worried about what's going to happen from here. Will my uncle tell Anja to leave? Will she take (or even be allowed to) Nicole with her??
I hate that I'm in this stupid situation...
I was contacted by Social Services again this afternoon asking again if I had ever noticed any signs of abuse (physical, sexual, or mental) in Nicole and if I had ever noticed any type of manipulation. I did say that I do believe Anja manipulates Nicole at times, by telling her to say to her father "Don't make mommy mad, or I'm going back to Poland with her" (I heard this direct from her mouth, and I went like this
).I asked what was going to happen from now, but they said they weren't allowed to answer that, but they would contact me again in the future.
Stephanie (my cousin), the rest of my family and I are pretty worried about what's going to happen from here. Will my uncle tell Anja to leave? Will she take (or even be allowed to) Nicole with her??
I hate that I'm in this stupid situation...
Do NOT leave Julia with her!
100%! I talked to my grandmother today about this and how I felt and she completely agreed. She told me that even before this happened she did not want me to leave Julia with Anja.
I guess if anything bad happens to Anja she just had it coming to her. If your uncle asks Anja to leave, I doubt if social services will let her take Nicole with her...it may be that they might even look to place Nicole in a temporary place because of what happened?
That's what I'm thinking too. I dunno how it works with taking a child internationally here and how it would work since Germany & Poland are both in the EU. Hopefully if they do need to find a place for her to stay, then it will be with a member of our family...I can't even imagine how scared Nicole would be. She doesn't talk to anybody who is a stranger, she won't even look them in the eye! The nurse today had to even bribe her by bringing an extra pudding tonight for dinner to let her check her arm!
i can't believe your aunt couldn't be bothered to buckle in her 4 year old. i hope that this teaches her something. i don't understand why people can't wear seat belts. it takes 2 seconds to do it. one of my sister's friends was killed in a car accident because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. she was so young...only 19 when it happened.
i'm glad that nicole is feeling better. poor girl.
i'm glad that nicole is feeling better. poor girl.