Pictures of Ex-Girlfriends

#46
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I wouldn't appreciate if a bf expected me to throw away pictures of my old bf's. It's all part of my past and my memories. How can you ask someone to throw that away.
 
#47
Newgrlonthebloc said:
I don't think I'd like for my husband to have any nude photos of anyone--the only ones of that type he should have are of me :P.
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My gut instinct agrees. I also agree with Purly who said that the naked photos should be given back to his ex "she should have those, not him". I feel the same, and have said as much to him. Now I will have to see if he does it. Oh my... this is the sort of stuff that feels so stupid, but is so symbolic.
 
#48
So to close this thread, I wanted to let all of you know that I had a very brief, calm, but firm conversation last night where I told him those photos made me uncomfortable, did not feel respectful to our relationship, and that to be consistent with how serious and committed he says he is to creating a life together then he will delete all copies of any images of that sort. (I also added that the photos he takes of me like that I consider special and they should be the only photos of that kind that he has!)

So, thanks for all of your replies, Ladies. It really helped me feel confident about bringing this up more firmly with him. He was very sensitive, apologetic, and understanding of my feelings, and he quickly went through and did searches to find any photos on the computer and deleted them. He added that he did not realize these photos were on the computer (which I can believe considering there are over 10k images on the computer and these are old ones). So that is that.

Thanks again. :yes:
 
#49
yikes!! i'd defintely have a problem with (iii)! artistic or not, i'm sure he wouldn't like it the other way around

glad to hear that you got everything off your chest and that your SO got rid of everything!
 
#51
I was not pleased to find pictures of various girls in my boyfriend's nightstand. I told him as much and he just put them back. Yes, I have a jealous streak, but why can't he respect me enough to put them NOT NEXT TO THE BED?? How about somewhere I won't see them. Harumph.
 
#52
Darwin said:
I was not pleased to find pictures of various girls in my boyfriend's nightstand. I told him as much and he just put them back. Yes, I have a jealous streak, but why can't he respect me enough to put them NOT NEXT TO THE BED?? How about somewhere I won't see them. Harumph.
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I would not chalk up your reaction as a "jealous streak". I think you have every right to feel upset about him having these photos in his night-stand! Luckily for me, the images I found were not out and around, but were buried in a folder on the computer that dated back quite some time. Nevertheless, I don't like old photos laying around (espcially not the sort that I found!). ;) Good luck, and I definitely encourage you to speak with him about how you feel.
 
#53
Psh...I have pics of a girl I used to date lying under some papers here on the desk, as well of a stack of pics of Tristan when he was a baby...that include his mom, my ex-gf.
The current gf doesn't have any issues with it. I don't look longingly at them, they're simply reminders of my past and the good times I had, and there's absolutely no way I'd ever throw them out. I just don't see it as disrespectful to have visual reminders of your past. I know my gf dated men prior to me. So what? I'm sure she has pics of her with them too. Again, so what. It's like people expect their mates to throw away their past when they start dating someone serious. I can see wanting him to put them in the closet, but to throw them out/delete them. Nuh uh. I wouldn't do it.
 
#55
I'd hate it! It's rude IMO.... maybe not out in the open, but hidden or forgotten about is ok. I once found a photo in a book, he immediately threw it away when he saw it.
 
#56
yeah...i would NOT be down with that!! :yucky: Regardless of whether you guys are serious, I think it is a serious sign of disrespect that he would flaunt photos (NAKED ones! :wacko:) of her around you. I'd definitely let it be known that those pictures are NOT ok and that they make you feel uncomfortable. I don't think it would be too much of you to ask that they be put away.

Good luck!
 
#57
I would say, "honey I love you very much but these old photos really make me uncomfortable. what if I had the same kind of photos of ex-boyfriends laying around? how would that make you feel?" Just be honest. Ask him why they are still important to him. Tell him while you cannot force him to get rid of them, you cannot control the way you feel about them and can he live with knowing how kind of heartbreaking they are to you for the rest of your marriage? He should compromise in my opinion - they're only memories he should be over by now. He needs to get rid of the luggage.
 
#58
Memories of the past aren't old luggage. Sheesh! Why would you feel threatened by a picture of an ex...key word..EX? Second key word, PICTURE. He wasn't flaunting them around. They were on his PC. Do you expect him to erase his memory of her too?
 
#59
I'd definitely feel uncomfortable with it. That's because my long term boyfriend NEVER keeps sentimental things like that until we got together a few years ago. His ex however was a different story. They dated throughout high school so when we got together she would ask him for stuff that he had no idea still existed, such as notes, holiday grams, weird nick nacs. So for him to keep something like that would definitely bother me as he deleted them right after they broke up and the only photo's he has are family and me.
 
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