Miffed! About my BF...

V

vanojr9

#1
Ok, so I have to go to a formal event with the BF tomorrow that his graduate program is hosting. I really don't know a thing about it other than the dress code and that I won't know anyone there. Ok, that's fine, I can do formal, I bought a dress, clutch, have nail appointments, afternoon free to do hair and makeup, the whole shebang. Well BF said that he'd handle the details because his friends wanted to go out to dinner beforehand etc. and we would all be doing things as a group. So tonight BF calls me and tells me that the whole going together thing fell through. Fine, sometimes things don't work out. But he also says: "So you should probably come up with a plan for us or something..." ME?! This is his formal! So I'm miffed, but I'm trying to be patient. I ask him when the formal starts so I can call around and try to make reservations. He doesn't know. Ookkkk...I pick a random early dinner time and ask him where he'd like to go. He doesn't care. I finally just say "should we just skip the whole dinner thing?" and he's impartial.

Arghh! I'm already putting lots of work into this thing just to get ready and now I'm putting in MORE work. It's like he needs a mother just to TELL him what to do. Is this just how men are or is mine particularly lethargic in this scenario? I'm actually really worried that this is a sign that I will be managing this guy's life for him from now on, and I don't want that at all :cry:
 
#3
He might be nervous too. Women are good planners so maybe he thought you'd be able to come up with something. I hope everything goes well.
 
#4
Men are usually spontaneous when it comes to events. They usually pick up the b-day gift on the day of the party or attempt to make dinner reservation right before they step into the restaurant. We ladies are the better planners here so I guess we just have to get use to it sometimes while we try to smack them across the head as we multi-task. :lol:
 
#5
^^^Yeah, that's a good point. He's very spontaneous, and admits as much. But it's a fine line between spontaneous and irresponsible, though I'm probably worrying over nothing in this case :smile: Thanks for the advice!
 
#6
- It's like he needs a mother just to TELL him what to do

He is such a guy. I don't care how young/old they are, they NEVER change in this arena. My husband is 44 and I am constantly "activities director" in our household. I just accept it. I just try to keep it in perspective, let him be good at the things he's good at, and I'll take the wheel for the things he sucks at. Mommy used to do everything, then we do everything. To make matters worse, my hubby used to tour extensively and had EVERYTHING laid out for him, from what time he needed to get up, to where he was going to eat, to where he needed to be at what time and people to drive him there! His mom and touring ruined him for life. But it's all in the name of love and compromise isn't it? Just go to your happy place and make it the evening that will make you happy (hey! he put YOU in charge afterall!)
 
#7
Irissy said:
Men are usually spontaneous when it comes to events. They usually pick up the b-day gift on the day of the party or attempt to make dinner reservation right before they step into the restaurant. We ladies are the better planners here so I guess we just have to get use to it sometimes while we try to smack them across the head as we multi-task. :lol:
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just as long as they don't try to bring home "freeway flowers"!
; )
 
#8
I agree with what's been said. Women are definitely better at multi-tasking than men, and are often the planners and schedulers of the relationship. Just stay positive, keep thinking about the great time you'll have, keep your primping plans and everything will come together :biggrin:
 
#9
Vanojr, I think our boyfriends must be twins. Mine promised that he'd go to my formal with me and then bailed out the day of bc his plans to come visit me fell through (he didn't tell his parents that he was coming that day & apparently his parents had made plans to go to Atlanta for the weekend). I'm starting to think that the only time guys plan ahead for events and make dinner reservations and go through all the extra effort of making a date perfect is when you're in a movie and the guy has a script telling him EXACTLY what to do :Push: .

I hope things get better for both of us.. hang in there :o)
 
#10
Oh no sparkles48, your situation sounds a little bit more frustrating than mine, you definitely hang in there!!

Thanks for all the sweet advice, ladies! My bf actually just called WITH dinner reservations and a promise of flowers, so he's once again my considerate boyfriend :smile: Apparently I sounded a wee bit annoyed on the phone the first time around! But I will anticipate the male inability to plan and be a bit less annoyed in the future.
 
#11
vanojr9 said:
Oh no sparkles48, your situation sounds a little bit more frustrating than mine, you definitely hang in there!!

Thanks for all the sweet advice, ladies! My bf actually just called WITH dinner reservations and a promise of flowers, so he's once again my considerate boyfriend :smile: Apparently I sounded a wee bit annoyed on the phone the first time around! But I will anticipate the male inability to plan and be a bit less annoyed in the future.
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sounds like you are training him right! (tee hee)
 
#12
vanojr9 said:
Thanks for all the sweet advice, ladies! My bf actually just called WITH dinner reservations and a promise of flowers, so he's once again my considerate boyfriend :smile: Apparently I sounded a wee bit annoyed on the phone the first time around! But I will anticipate the male inability to plan and be a bit less annoyed in the future.
Click to expand...

HAVE FUN!!! :amuse:
 
#13
bagnshoofetish said:
just as long as they don't try to bring home "freeway flowers"!
; )
Click to expand...

Those freeway flowers! :lol: Everytime I see people hanging around on the street intersections selling ballons or flowers around the holidays, I'm always telling myself "he better not be getting me one of those!" :suspiciou
 
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