Inner Conflict That Makes Me Feel So Lowly...

MyLuckyCharm

MyLuckyCharm

Daydreamer
O.G.
Apr 1, 2007
820
0
#1
Heyy girls, I hope you won't mind but I felt as though I HAD to vent about this because it's something that always sticks to the back of my mind. It really gets me feeling hopeless sometimes.

Sometimes I just feel so insignificant to the world, like I'm just one spec in a world full of people. Take this forum for instance; there are well over 50,000 registered users. I'm only ONE of them. I just feel so small and unimportant. I wonder why I even bother if it really doesn't matter at all. I'm just one of many, right?

In a world full of copycats, I crave individuality. But how can that be when I'm only one of many women in this country? How can I stand out, be different, FEEL like I mean something?

I feel so selfish talking like this, but it's something that I've kept to myself for so long that I just needed to speak out. Anyone share the sentiment? I'm sure there are other people who feel this way as well but... I feel so alone!

Okay. *steps off soap box* I'm good now.
 
#2
As you took this forum as an example, so will I

Yes, there are 50,000 of us here. But in each forum if we have been there long enough and presented our ideas thoughtfully and politely enough, we are noted - people agree with us, people disagree with us, much as they would in the world. I've had people PM me when I changed my avatar and my user name - that means people remember who I am.

And when members of this forum go missing as they do sometimes there are threads with the title "Have you heard from [x]? Is she okay?" which means that person [x] has not been here for a while, but their absence has been noted, and people care about them. Of course in order for that to happen, said person has to have contributed somewhat to the forum, and have had good rapport with the rest of the members.

I think this is true for this forum, and for the society we live in.
 
#3
Oh gosh sweetie...your post makes me sad. I don't know your family situation, but I know to them you are NOT insignificant. And you may be one of 50,000 of us, but on this forum, like no other forum on the net, you are a MAJOR part of what makes this so successful.

With our celeb-obsessed culture, it is very easy to feel like you do. Unless you have a million dollars and have a nice a$$, you are a nobody.

But being one part of a big, successful whole is one of the greatest things in this world. Don't let these thoughts get you down.

You are significant to US! :okay:
 
#4
^^I agree Merika:yes:
I know how overwhelming it is though. . . I can totally see your POV.

But you just have to make your mark, you won't feel insignificant if you make an impression on people.
 
#5
you need to watch "Its a Wonderful Life". May sound contrite but the point of the movie is very true. Every person you have come in contact with is affected by your actions/words. We all matter and we all make a difference. Ask yourself, do you want to make a difference for your own glorification or do you want to make a difference in other peoples lives? start volunteering somewhere where people need you. there is no more important mark you can make then to help others. if its publicity and attention you seek, I'm sorry to say but that kind of self serving motive will leave you empty cause the spotlight never lasts.
 
#6
I can sympathize with how you feel. It gets overwhelming. Whenever I start to feel that way, I just start thinking of everyone whom I've "touched" in some way, even if it's in the smallest way. I think of my friends who I've bailed out of tough situations and who have cried on my shoulder when they're down. I think of my colleagues at work who were able to spend a little extra time with their families b/c I was willing to work a little extra. I even think of the woman caught at a tough intersection who I let go in front of me knowing that she'd have to wait forever (and she didn't even wave). These people may not be thinking about me or even really know me, but I know that I made a small difference in their lives, even if it was for an instance.

Hang in there.
 
#7
Hey there! I see by your profile that you're 18. It's natural to feel that way coming into adulthood and wondering what your place is in the world. But as you move forward through life you will go through more experiences which will show you what your gifts and talents are and how to use them. And they may change later, but that's OK!

We are all interconnected in some way to one another.

As epi-curean posted, I too remember the little (and big) things I've done to help others when I get down and feel like I'm just taking up space. For example, I go on lots of walks around my neighborhood and I usually get stopped at least once or twice by someone who is lost and needs directions. Even that makes me feel good knowing I helped them get to their destination hopefully with a little less stress and a smile from me!
 
#9
Epi-curean has the right idea. Have you touched someone else's life lately? Made them feel better in some way? If you have, that's significant. I highly recommend volunteering your extra time to a charity of your choice. Nothing feels better than helping people in need.
 
#11
i AGREE.Life is all about making choices ..both good and bad...learning from it all and interacting with everyone around u.
Once u find your niche in life.later in life......(u r young!).....i think it will all make sense.I honestly think age offers a ton of insight and wisdom.Nothing can take the place of life experiences.U will get there.CHIN UP! we have all been there!
U r very signifigant....u will realize that once u find what makes u happy.Sometimes its a job,a marriage to your soulmate...etc....hang tight!
 
#12
actually sometimes I take comfort in knowing I'm only one in a zillion people. It makes my problems seem less significant when I realize there are all these other people out there with problems, and many are worse than mine. makes me realize in the grand scheme of things it's just not that important, if that makes any sense. That doesn't mean I don't feel important though. I am important to my family and friends and that's all that matters. If you try to compare yourself to other people you will always come up short, no matter who you are.
 
#13
i think it is natural to sometimes question the sense of it all -

find a profession where you can leave a mark - sometimes life choices can also be overwhelming - follow your true feelings in your heart and it will all come good, and you will find yourself not having to wonder like this anymore.

like Jill said - you are very significant. :smile:
 
#14
It's definitely in your interactions with other people in small ways throughout the day that any of us get to mean something. What you do doesn't have to have a spotlight on it to matter. It might not seem special to volunteer, but for the person whose day you brighten, it can mean the world. And this doesn't even have to be a big effort -- I try to do small things everyday and by small I mean let someone ahead of me in line, hold a door, just take a beat and smile at someone I don't know. These aren't lasting impressions, but they form an undercurrent about carrying for the people in the world who might just not feel like they matter either. You're showing them that for that brief interaction, you've noticed their needs and tried to help.

I have a few favorite charities I support because I feel as though I can see what I give make a difference. One is Kiva.org -- you lend a small amount of money with other people to someone in the developing world who has a business need - say 50 people each give 25 dollars so a man can buy a peanut butter making machine. He pays the money back over time into your account, then you can loan it to someone else. You can see his picture, post comments to his program page.

I also support a children's school project in Cambodia. For $12, a child can go to school - and this can completely change his/her life. These kids aren't just poor, they have nothing. The money goes 100% to the kids, it's run by a texas lady and a Cambodian guide. You could even go and volunteer with the kids if you wanted to some day.

If you're speaking in a creative writing/dancing/making art/desiging/making music way ... having been involved with the arts all my life, it was never when I was hoping for "the big idea" to come along that I created anything remotely worthwhile, and by worthwhile, I mean work that made sense to me, and resonated for someone else. I went on to make a web art piece about Land Mine victims in Cambodia that's been shown all over the world. What I'm trying to say is -- baby steps. Your interests will guide you and if you listen to what you like, you'll find intriguing things to do make your life so much more meaningful.

Hope that helps !! I think it took courage to post and that tells me you're not one of 50,000 already.
 
#15
Thanks so much for the quick responses, guys. I didn't get to check them until this morning, and it was a great thing to wake up to. :smile:

I agree with what everyone has said so far. But to me, actions speak louder than words, and in order to internalize what you guys have told me, I've gotta do like I've said: put those words into actions.

Hmmm... as for when someone said that you should try to do little things for people you don't know... well, unless you believe in a little thing called karma, what difference would it really make? I talk to EVERYONE I come into contact with... even if it's just a hello. I'm the type of person that can come up with a conversation out of nowhere- I can talk about anything, anytime, to anyone. I've always just felt comfortable around other people. But what difference would that conversation make? Chances are they won't remember me anyways.

I feel small again. *hides* :wtf: HaHa.
 
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