**Hermes Chat**

#10,577
For people who are basically normal, you can liken periodic episodes of depression like the flu. My mother was bi-polar manic depressive. That cannot be compared to the flu. It's a chronic condition. And if it's untreated or the patient does not take their meds, or the meds no longer work it can lead to serious to life ending consequences.

In my life, my mother's illness was the elephant in the room.
 
#10,578
Mindi B said:
lulilu, my DH really believed that "don't feel that way" was a legitimate suggestion for much of our early years together. Then he had a period of depression after his father died. All of a sudden, he got it. He now likens emotional episodes like that to the flu--he didn't WANT to feel it, but it wasn't going to be rationalized away. Sometimes things like this don't make sense, I think, unless and until you've lived them.
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I'm not saying anything like don't feel that way. What I'm saying is a variation of Eleanor Roosevelt's observation, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If Mom and Pop fight and then Mom dumps how she feels on you, and this cycle repeats and repeats, and you don't like it, you do have the option to do something other than let her dump on you. Because it's evidently not changing anything, leading to any kind of solutions, if she dumps on you. If I understand correctly, she did not have such intensive contact with you for quite some time until this housing situation emerged. Now she does. Maybe a solution is to impose a bit of a boundary on her, to refuse to engage with her about her grievances with Pop. I am not saying this is the right thing to do. It's one option. If you don't like it, don't do it. But it does seem to be pretty clear that Mom knows how to get people riled up on her behalf and nothing good seems to come out of that.
 
#10,579
etoupebirkin said:
For people who are basically normal, you can liken periodic episodes of depression like the flu. My mother was bi-polar manic depressive. That cannot be compared to the flu. It's a chronic condition. And if it's untreated or the patient does not take their meds, or the meds no longer work it can lead to serious to life ending consequences.

In my life, my mother's illness was the elephant in the room.
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Was your mother a creative person? If she was, did that foster creativity in you? Kay Jamison wrote about a link between bipolar & creativity which if it exists might seem to assuage to some degree some of the stuff which is not good.
 
#10,580
Vintage Leather said:
I am within weeks of finishing my thesis for my second master's degree! :party: In another two weeks, I might actually be able to do wild and crazy things like... get more than 3 hours of sleep a night? or rejoin the human race?



I think that correlation - depression being like the flu - is probably one of the best I have heard. It's something that you survive, and something that you having coping methods for working around. But there is no cure, and there is no easy way out. Thank you for this, and ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ for you and yours

And, here's a picture of a well-styled pair of furry shoes. Which still look incredibly silly but... it's pink furry shoes!!
Asians & Hermes
(you'll need to scroll down to the second picture)
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What a good feeling for you! Congratulations!!
 
#10,583
eagle1002us said:
Was your mother a creative person? If she was, did that foster creativity in you? Kay Jamison wrote about a link between bipolar & creativity which if it exists might seem to assuage to some degree some of the stuff which is not good.
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My Mom was creative, but unfortunately lacked outlets. She was trapped in that 50s, 60s traditional role of mother and wife. She would have been far better off if she worked full time. It would have (hopefully) kept her mind off of perceived slights. She also was the kind of person who felt the world revolved around her.
 
#10,586
etoupebirkin said:
My Mom was creative, but unfortunately lacked outlets. She was trapped in that 50s, 60s traditional role of mother and wife. She would have been far better off if she worked full time. It would have (hopefully) kept her mind off of perceived slights. She also was the kind of person who felt the world revolved around her.
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Mine was not creative although she could dress nicely when she wanted.. She did not like to work. She wanted someone else to support her (guess who). She liked to chain smoke and brood. (I guess the smoking kept her thin). She liked to go shopping. Not for me, tho. However, I have rectified that little imbalance myself.
 
#10,587
EB, of course the flu analogy isn't meant to minimize profound mental illnesses. These are, as you say, chronic, recalcitrant, and incredibly disruptive to the lives of the sufferer and his/her family. The analogy was not to suggest a parallel between a mental illness and a mild, fleeting virus--It was intended only to highlight the difference between my DH's previous attitude toward mental struggles (if the feeling is unpleasant, don't feel it!) and his realization, after some personal experience, that emotional illnesses are, well, illnesses, and not subject to acts of will. I apologize if I seemed to be trivializing what your family experiences; it was the last thing I intended.

Ck, that is absolutely a FANTASTIC photo. As CG said, it so beautifully expresses the love and joy inherent in your relationship with Collin. :heart:

VL, DANG, woman, what an accomplishment! Yay, you! So great to "see" you here and hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Many, many congratulations to you, you highly-educated gal, you!
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