Bob Saget: I just got divorced. Ex-wife got the house in the Palisades. No biggie. I got four other houses, I don't give a sh t.
Bob Saget: I was so whacked out on Vikes and Halcion during the 90's I don't remember sh t.
Turtle: I drank three bottles of water in the car for this, so could we just get this over with, please?
X-Box Girl: This is X-box, loser…not the Olympics. We don’t give drug tests. If we did, we’d be out of business, idiot.
Eric: Is your dad home?
Model: My dad lives in Tennessee. You must be looking for my "daddy." He's by the pool.
Concessions Girl: Was the sinking of the ship an attempt to foreshadow the forthcoming sinking of the tech market of 2000?
James Cameron: Uh, no. Actually,I just wanted to make little girls cry.
Eric: You think the night before a Mormon wedding a guy says "How am I going to sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"
R.J. Spencer: Eric, I started this website out of my parents' basement for two reasons: to get laid and to make a little money, neither of which are coming to fruition.
Barbara: Eric, we both know Vince has f cked half the actresses in this town. Mandy on the other hand, is a good girl.
Eric: (to Ari) You seriously gonna sit here and let them bad mouth Vince like this?
Ari: I thought that was a compliment.
Ari: Lloyd, are you with me? (Lloyd hesitates) Lloyd, what are you doing? You and me we have a special bond. Come on let's go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or sexual orientation.
Ari: I can't swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after.
Marriage Counselor: When was the last time you had sex?
Ari: With each other, or...?
Eric: Why Ari? Why?
Ari: I'm in bed E, talk dirty to me.
Eric: It's five o'clock in the morning.
Ari: What are you wearing?
Eric: F ck you!
Ari: I love it when you say "f ck," say it again.
Ari: Where are you? It sounds like you're getting f cked with a jackhammer.
Ari's Daughter: Ten dollars in the curse jar, daddy.
Seth Green: (after seeing Ari display the "Dr. Evil pinky") That's funny dude. That pinky bought me a house in Malibu.
Amanda: Did you guys like "Age of Innocence?"
Vince: I don't remember the story, but I do remember after seeing it I knew how to hold my fork.
Bob Saget: I was so whacked out on Vikes and Halcion during the 90's I don't remember sh t.
Turtle: I drank three bottles of water in the car for this, so could we just get this over with, please?
X-Box Girl: This is X-box, loser…not the Olympics. We don’t give drug tests. If we did, we’d be out of business, idiot.
Eric: Is your dad home?
Model: My dad lives in Tennessee. You must be looking for my "daddy." He's by the pool.
Concessions Girl: Was the sinking of the ship an attempt to foreshadow the forthcoming sinking of the tech market of 2000?
James Cameron: Uh, no. Actually,I just wanted to make little girls cry.
Eric: You think the night before a Mormon wedding a guy says "How am I going to sleep with the same eight women for the rest of my life?"
R.J. Spencer: Eric, I started this website out of my parents' basement for two reasons: to get laid and to make a little money, neither of which are coming to fruition.
Barbara: Eric, we both know Vince has f cked half the actresses in this town. Mandy on the other hand, is a good girl.
Eric: (to Ari) You seriously gonna sit here and let them bad mouth Vince like this?
Ari: I thought that was a compliment.
Ari: Lloyd, are you with me? (Lloyd hesitates) Lloyd, what are you doing? You and me we have a special bond. Come on let's go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or sexual orientation.
Ari: I can't swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after.
Marriage Counselor: When was the last time you had sex?
Ari: With each other, or...?
Eric: Why Ari? Why?
Ari: I'm in bed E, talk dirty to me.
Eric: It's five o'clock in the morning.
Ari: What are you wearing?
Eric: F ck you!
Ari: I love it when you say "f ck," say it again.
Ari: Where are you? It sounds like you're getting f cked with a jackhammer.
Ari's Daughter: Ten dollars in the curse jar, daddy.
Seth Green: (after seeing Ari display the "Dr. Evil pinky") That's funny dude. That pinky bought me a house in Malibu.
Amanda: Did you guys like "Age of Innocence?"
Vince: I don't remember the story, but I do remember after seeing it I knew how to hold my fork.