A "blank check" for a Birkin...

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#17
I too am absolutely incensed :mad:

What an unkind mind your DH has, what exactly is going to happen to your Loro Piano bag ???? Is he going to personally burn it ? Tear it apart ???? Sell it ?????

The type of controlling nature your man has is not loving and kind, it's dangerous.

I can't speak the words i'd like to so i'm going to shut up now.

(and yes, get the dearest you can find, diamond encrusted)
 
#18
I guess I am a bit confused. This is the only handbag that you have and use? You are only allow to own and use one handbag at a time? Does your DH only have one pair of shoes or belt or etc? Also, if he is giving you a gift why give you a condition?

I am not familiar with the brand but just looked it up, they range 2000-3000 Euros and a birkin is double the price range. It's a used bag, not sure if you can get very much for it to put towards a birkin.

I would get a birkin but if this bag means so much to you why do you want a birkin?
 
#19
Why am I the only one not infuriated here? :smile:) I think you are so lucky to have a husband who will give you a blank check to buy a Birkin! I mean, wow, what I would do to have a husband like that. I have an amazing husband who gives me gifts and tolerates my purse addiction--as long as I pay for it. I think it's a very sensible arrangement as well, the same way I let him purchase his indulgences as long as he pays the bills.

I think the reason he wants you to choose is because he will buy you something REALLY expensive that would only have value to you and not to him. The man will spend $$$$$$$$ to buy you the bag of your dreams, that is why he needs to know that it really IS the bag of your dreams. I think it's the same way we would agree to our husbands buying their Rolls Royce, only if they give up their BMW.

Let's give the guy some slack, I think he's an amazing husband to give you the option, albeit some food for thought on your part.

I think the LP is gorgeous--it is to die for! And it's the first time I've seen one. But if it's the Birkin that makes your heart skip a beat, then I guess we'll just have to let this one go. If you want both, it's never to late to start saving up for one. If you're going the latter route, best to let your husband know that you're keeping the LP--and if he could kindly help you save for your future Birkin. That would show how much you appreciate the value of his money.

Both are amazing bags so it's a win-win situation.
 
#20
elibaby said:
Why am I the only one not infuriated here? :smile:) I think you are so lucky to have a husband who will give you a blank check to buy a Birkin! I mean, wow, what I would do to have a husband like that. I have an amazing husband who gives me gifts and tolerates my purse addiction--as long as I pay for it. I think it's a very sensible arrangement as well, the same way I let him purchase his indulgences as long as he pays the bills.

I think the reason he wants you to choose is because he will buy you something REALLY expensive that would only have value to you and not to him. The man will spend $$$$$$$$ to buy you the bag of your dreams, that is why he needs to know that it really IS the bag of your dreams. I think it's the same way we would agree to our husbands buying their Rolls Royce, only if they give up their BMW.

Let's give the guy some slack, I think he's an amazing husband to give you the option, albeit some food for thought on your part.

I think the LP is gorgeous--it is to die for! And it's the first time I've seen one. But if it's the Birkin that makes your heart skip a beat, then I guess we'll just have to let this one go. If you want both, it's never to late to start saving up for one. If you're going the latter route, best to let your husband know that you're keeping the LP--and if he could kindly help you save for your future Birkin. That would show how much you appreciate the value of his money.

Both are amazing bags so it's a win-win situation.
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But if it was to be a gift that will be the "bag of her dreams", why should he make her give up her LP? The LP is a very nice bag in itself, I agree.

If you want the Hermes but don't want to give up your LP, rip up the cheque, save up like crazy and make sure he knows about it. He will feel bad about making you choose in the first place and will probably contribute to part of the cost of the bag himself when he realises how much you want it.

In terms of what colour, leather, style to get.. I would stick to the common colours like black, brown, beige so that you can wear it with absolutely ANYTHING, and FOREVER. I personally love the red. It ALWAYS catches my eye. Black is also beautiful, and would be the most versatile.
 
#21
Iwantaspybag said:
Dear Balletarts,

At first reading, I was absolutely incensed that your husband made this the deal. I do believe he is testing you. Men do this. My father used to do it to me and I think that is why I was so instantly infuriated by this.

After I peeled myself off the ceiling and took a few deep breaths, I started giving him some slack, recognized that he is a member of the emotionally retarded half of the species. His half only believes actions and not words. I can think of a certain action or lack thereof that might get through to him....Not really suggesting this, but I would be so angry I would consider it.

But it is totally clear that you love your LP. No one should be forced to give up something they love just to prove to someone else that they are serious about wanting it. I do not think you should give up your beloved LP under these circumstances. Reread your post. DO YOU SEE THE WORD VOID???

Your questions about what would replace it suggest to me that you have not done enough research. Buying a Hermes bag is like going to graduate school in bagology. You should take at least three months researching the wealth of information here and visiting stores to have first hand experiences with the leathers and to look at the colors in the leather books.

I would not discuss this stupid bargain with him. Proceed with determination that you are going to get your Birkin without giving up your LP. Do your research with the idea that you are going to get the perfect Birkin for you and that you are not just searching for a clone for your LP.

I can feel the set of determination in my jaw as I write this. My DH would only have to take a glance and me and he would know that resistance is futile.

Feel free to pm me if you want thread suggestions to help you with your selection.
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+1!!!! Excellent post!!

I also was disgusted when I first read your post, OP. Not w/you but with your DH. I agree with all the others who cannot understand why someone who loves you would be emotionally cruel in this way. I buy most of my bags with my own money. I tease DH will get upset and although we discuss such things and we do what we can with the general well being of the family, I technically don't need "permission" to make purchases nor would DH ever make an ultimatum in such a way. Tell him thanks but no thanks, keep your LP, and get your Birkin on your own terms. GL dear!!
 
#22
I too was upset by OP's post. You have gotten all kinds of great advice here. I don't know what his motives are, but I don't react well to control or ultimatums. Why does he get to set the circumstances under which you spend money?
 
#23
Do all of you really have to use this forum to trash this woman's husband? You know nothing of their marriage. She needs handbag advice, not personal advice. Balletarts, if you love your LP, keep it. A birkin will not change your life...I speak from experience.
 
#25
''This comparison is like apples and oranges, I realize, but DH has made it clear that I can't have both. I would love to read the thoughts of the majority who will rule in favor of the Birkin, as much as the minority who will root for the underdog. :smile:

Looking forward to your comments![/QUOTE]''

The above highlighted statement really jumped out at me. So this is his reasoning why you can't keep a bag that would only fetch, from what you say, one eighth to one tenth of the cost of a Birkin ( according to the leather you choose)? If he is going to write you a blank cheque for a Birkin, then he obviously doesn't need you to sell your beloved bag to help pay for it, so in my opinion, his reasoning that you must get rid of it is unreasonable to me. You can obviously keep this bag without financial issues to get the Birkin, he knows you love the bag, so asking you to get rid of it makes no sense.

If it were me, I wouldn't go along with these tactics of his as although I don't know your husband and he could be a great guy, from what you say, this idea is controlling in my opinion and unfair. I would save for the Birkin myself and keep the other bag is my best advice.
 
#29
I agree with most of what is above. It is very, very difficult--and risky--to condemn anyone without more knowledge of the individuals involved and the unique context of this particular relationship. However, I don't understand the reasoning behind the husband's ultimatum, and on its face, it seems to be an unnecessary and unkind manipulation. EB said it well: It is best if partners each have some money that is theirs to spend as they wish, no questions asked. I guess my advice, limiting myself to the specific question the OP asked, is no, don't give up your LP. The Birkin issue seems fraught with ill-feeling for some reason, and it would not be a happy bag to own if it must be obtained in this manner. JMO--good luck.
 
#30
hmm...i agree with what etoupebirkin and mindi b has said. OP, it sounds like you LOVE the LP, and obviously a blank check means you and your husband aren't in financial need to pay for the B...why oh why would he impose such an ultimatum. Would you ask him to pick between saving you or his mother if you were both drowning???!!???

it's not healthy for a marriage to be like this. i'd find other ways to fund my b if i were you and sit down with him to explain why. hope this helps sweetie! good luck!
 
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