3 Men, 1 Tree & 2 Chainsaws: What Could Go Wrong?

T

twiggers

O.G.
May 7, 2006
33,003
32
#1
Ahhh let me share my day with you....hubby is sick of me laughing at him so I have to share with some gals who will understand:

OK...so you might know...my area got hit with a really bad storm and one of my ginormous 60-80ft trees decided to rip out of the ground and kind of lean over with its roots partly sticking out. Yea...I was a little freaked.

Anyhow...hubby (oh men...why do they do this) decides that him and his friends can cut down this tree...no problem...it's leaning away from the house.

So the friends , two rednecks (not being offensive, but this is what they call themselves) with pickup trucks and chainsaws pull up at around 1 PM. They stand around the tree for about an hour, pointing in various directions and generally hudding around (occasionally spitting wads of chew tobacco on my lawn LOL).

At around 2 PM they fire up the chainsaws. I promptly run into the house and secure all belongings on my front yard (oh...I'm looking ghetto fabulous now) and have my dog secured in the front yard with me on a leash so that we can run if the tree falls on the house.

I hear the chainsaws fire up and see the neighbors pull out their lawnchairs to watch the show...they actually brought a cooler of beer out too! And lo and behold...more men start flockig to my house (it is like the sound of chainsaws is a beacon call) and pointing and offering opinions.

So the chainsaws keep going and I see no tree falling (it's good because it's not on my house...but bad because I'm curious as to why it hasn't fallen). Well apparently, instead of falling over it just slid off the trunk and is now leaning against another tree.

So what do the men do? Point and confer for another 30 minutes. Then they decide that they will drive on my manicured lawn and tie a chain around the tree and it will just slide down....

The tree does not slide...instead it teeters as if it will fall down on the neighbors house (who are now screaming at my husband) and then rests against another tree.

What does the wife (me) do? Promptly calls a 24 hour tree service.

They show up 2 hours later and have the tree cut down in 15 minutes.

Therefore...the lesson to all women? Do NOT let men get together with chainsaws! It is a recipe for disaster!!!

I now have a 80 ft. tree in my backyard which needs to be chopped up, one broken board in my fence, tire tracks on my front lawn, and a husband who is walking around shamefully embarrased!

Hmmm..wonder if I could get a purse out of him? HEEHEE

My little suburban subdivision has never seen this much excitement before!!!
 
#2
I could picture that whole store. It is just toooooo funny. I am sure this will be the talk of the neighborhood for months. Why do men in groups actually think they have a skill to do something because they own a certain tool?
You really deserve a new purse over all this stress you had to deal with.

My friend had a leaky faucet in ther shower and the neighbor says he can fix it, yep--he brings his tools over and somehow strips the pipe and now instead of a leaky faucet she has a nonstop leak. If she wants to use the shower she has to go outside and turn the main water valve on and turn it off when she is done. She is waiting for her nephew to replace the plumbing soon since he has to tear down the tile shower wall to do it. So even the simplest things can go wrong and end up one big mess. But with a 60-80 foot tree I don't know how those guys even thought they should be out there messing around......
 
#3
This is a classic and well told tale. I can picture this, as can any female who has spent any time at all around a man, or men. Too funny.
 
#5
this reminds me of the time my dad almost killed himself trying to trim the hedges.

i will always hire people for this sort of thing, i don't care what kind of big, strapping husband i have.
 
#6
My DH would have done the exact same thing, no lie. In fact, I bet I know which friends of his he would invite, which neighbor would be yelling at him and which neighbor would bring out the beer! Oh honey, that was a great laugh!!!

Glad to know you got that tree taken care of!
 
#12
dusty paws said:
I can't get over that your neighbors brought out beer and lawn chairs!
Click to expand...

Oh I know....I said I needed to charge admission or something! And this was in quiet middle America suburbia too LOL

The neighborhood kids were all over watching....it was some great entertainment! Meanwhile I was clutching my heart and crossing my fingers! I was beyond freaked out...until the professionals showed up.
AND let me say....it's not like we can't afford to pay someone to do this...just my manly-man husband decides he needs to tackle a huge tree! Go figure!

BUT...the good news...is that hubby realizes he was an idiot and is going to hire them to remove the rest of our trees, so that I can stop worrying about these massive trees falling on my house during storms!
 
#14
Trees are tricky. Luckily, some of my Geometry and Physics classes stuck in my head, cause so far, all my tree removal endeavors have worked out as planned. I have a huge Magnolia that I want to take down. When's your husband free? ;)
 
#15
Your lucky the story turned out funny and that nobody got maimed or killed. My DH worked for a tree service and was a tree climber for a decade and I still get nervous watching him drop a tree. He even knows his own limits and calls a service when needed.
 
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