When shall i give him a key?

Roomyisbest

Roomyisbest

The bigger the better!
O.G.
Oct 18, 2005
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#1
Hello, my fellow PFers. Its been along time since i last had a post. Anywhoo, I need your honest opinions. How long did you wait to give your boyfriend/ SO a key to your apartment and why?

My boyfriend and i haven't been together for a long time (actually only a few months) but I cant help to wonder when is a good time to give him a key:confused1: Should i wait until he offers up his key first or just decide on my own.
 
#2
Well - when I first met my now husband, I was renting my brother's flat. I had only been there a week, my hubby came to stay for the night and everyday after that he just came over with more stuff - day by day he moved in until 1 day he said "I think I've moved in". We haven't looked back and have now been married 10 years.

I think it is when YOU feel right about it. When it feels right it will just happen!
 
#3
Lol, I've been dating my bf for 5.5 yrs and didn't get a key until last year! but that was more based on situations like started dating in college, then long distance, then I never went to his place when he wasn't there because I hated his roommates at his last place, hehee so it wasn't really a relationship milestone for us at all. Plus, I lose keys... very often!

Trust your judgment. Does he need a key? Do you want him in your place with out you yet? Basically it is up to you and whatever fits the situation you two are in right now.
 
#5
Ali-bagpuss said:
Well - when I first met my now husband, I was renting my brother's flat. I had only been there a week, my hubby came to stay for the night and everyday after that he just came over with more stuff - day by day he moved in until 1 day he said "I think I've moved in". We haven't looked back and have now been married 10 years.

I think it is when YOU feel right about it. When it feels right it will just happen!
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Every night for the last 2 months we stay either at my place or his. Mostly mine because its more convenient for the both of us. I'm just unsure of what i shall do and being unsure surely means waiting until i feel its the right time.
 
#6
Blue824 said:
Lol, I've been dating my bf for 5.5 yrs and didn't get a key until last year! but that was more based on situations like started dating in college, then long distance, then I never went to his place when he wasn't there because I hated his roommates at his last place, hehee so it wasn't really a relationship milestone for us at all. Plus, I lose keys... very often!

Trust your judgment. Does he need a key? Do you want him in your place with out you yet? Basically it is up to you and whatever fits the situation you two are in right now.
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Goood questions:yes: Uhmmm?
 
#9
Roomyisbest said:
I'm just unsure of what i shall do and being unsure surely means waiting until i feel its the right time.
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:yes:

Good point! Give it more time. By the time you know it, you will not even think twice, IF he is the right guy. Don't be in a hurry to accomodate a guy you are still unsure about.

Do you really like him and trust him?
 
#10
I guess it all depends on your schedule. I honestly can't remember when my bf got a key. I think I was going out of town and left him one and he ended up keeping it. We'd probably been together over a year, though. He really never used it because he never came to my place when I wasn't around. Does your bf need to be at your place when you aren't there? If not, there's no sense in giving him a key.
 
#11
gr8heart said:
:yes:

Good point! Give it more time. By the time you know it, you will not even think twice, IF he is the right guy. Don't be in a hurry to accomodate a guy you are still unsure about.

Do you really like him and trust him?
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Surprisingly i do trust him alot already. Thats one of the reasons why i thought about it. I do really like him too.

Now i'm wondering if it shall be when we are both in Love with one another. It makes much more sense.

This was all just a thought that spiraled and I couldnt stop thinking about it.
 
#12
katheryn said:
I guess it all depends on your schedule. I honestly can't remember when my bf got a key. I think I was going out of town and left him one and he ended up keeping it. We'd probably been together over a year, though. He really never used it because he never came to my place when I wasn't around. Does your bf need to be at your place when you aren't there? If not, there's no sense in giving him a key.
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He usually justs waits until i get home (which is okay with him) to come over. So not really.
 
#13
MaxHavoc said:
I wouldn't give him a key until he starts paying 50% or more of the rent. ;)
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ITA. When I was dating a guy a couple years ago, he was homeless for a month so I let him stay with me until he was able to move into his new apartment. I had to give him a key to my place since he was living there, which was fine, but after he moved out, he refused to give the key back and used it to get into my apartment whenever he wanted to! Talk about annoying! It became a sticky situation when we broke up because he still refused to give the key back and I was afraid he'd use it to ransack my apartment when I wasn't home! Luckily though, I was able to persuade him into giving it back to me eventually. Now, I refuse to give a boyfriend a key to my apartment unless we live together, which won't be until we are married!:yes:
 
#14
cutiepie21 said:
ITA. When I was dating a guy a couple years ago, he was homeless for a month so I let him stay with me until he was able to move into his new apartment. I had to give him a key to my place since he was living there, which was fine, but after he moved out, he refused to give the key back and used it to get into my apartment whenever he wanted to! Talk about annoying! It became a sticky situation when we broke up because he still refused to give the key back and I was afraid he'd use it to ransack my apartment when I wasn't home! Luckily though, I was able to persuade him into giving it back to me eventually. Now, I refuse to give a boyfriend a key to my apartment unless we live together, which won't be until we are married!:yes:
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Wow, sorry to hear that. I would have changed me locks ASAP. But i do understand your point.
 
#15
When my boyfriend and I just met, I was still living at home. He lived in an apartment, but I lived in a large family home with my brother, mum, and dad. It was pretty big so when he would come over, I would always scream from the top floor to anyone on the main floor to open the door (as I was extremely lazy or studying haha). Sooner or later, my dad was the one to give him a key and said, let's not bother us anymore and just come on in.

He's had a key ever since. Still has it and when I visit my family he has the keys to open the door because sometimes I forget. We've been together for 2 years and he had the key after 10 months.
 
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