Crazy Bride's Maid!!!!!

LAltiero85

LAltiero85

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O.G.
Aug 22, 2006
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#1
Okay everyone....you're gonna love this story!

I have one craazzzzy bridesmaid!!!! Well, okay, first I should explain her style....she is goth, she wears lots of black make-up, and draws things on her face and...etc... She has a crazy bf that adds to her unique style. Now I also must explain that she is not just my friend, but she is my cousin, and wasn't always like this, and we used to be such good friends, we were anyway, until this crazy boyfriend! Anyway, I don't mind her individuality, and I asked her to do her make-up in a more subtle way for the big day, and she happily agreed. In fact, she was almost in tears of joy when I asked her to be my bridesmaid.

Now here's the problem!!!! Her boyfriend decided it would be a good idea that they buy eachother tattoos for Christmas. Well, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with tattoos, but she got it across her chest, right along the chest bone, and it looks like a giant necklace of stars across her chest. Very visible, and the dress is a strappless dress too!!! So, I kept calm, and told myself it would be okay because the dress comes with a shawl, and she can aways get a tattoo cover-up. :sweatdrop:

But that's not it!!! Oh no!!! I just found out that a couple of weeks ago she got her CHEST PIERCED!!!!!!!:wtf: It also is right against her chest bone!!!!! This is getting ridiculous!!!!! Now please keep in mind that I do not judge people on their style of dressing, or by tattoos or piercings. In fact, I applaud individuality. However, she knew that her dress was strappless and very open at the top,:lecture: and that the style of our wedding was very low-key and conservative....so why couldn't she take her duty as a bridesmaid that SHE openly accepted more seriously and wait until AFTER the wedding to get all of this done!!!! She waited this long!!! Why not a little longer??? :cursing:

Sorry, I just had to rant....:rant:

What do you guys think???? Am I making too big of a deal out of this?
 
#2
I can understand your being upset. I think you should pick your battles, though.

Out of the tattoo, the piercing or the makeup, what's the most important? Pick one and talk to her about that.

It seems like a bit much to ask her to take out the piercing, cover up the tattoo and to have more conservative makeup.

I doubt she did it intentionally to screw up your wedding, so try not to think of it as that.
 
#4
I can understand why you are up-set as well... but generosity to your cousin whom you kept close will have to be considered... she will probably need your emotional support one day when she "wake-up" and decided to dump her BF!
 
#5
When my best friend got married I was her maid of honor and she gave us all these rules to follow, I complied with her rules because I chose to be her maid of honor and it was her wedding. Is there anyone that can talk to your cousin and explain that the center of attention should be the bride and not her?

If not, like everyone said, pick your battles, concentrate on being beautiful and enjoying the day...it is your day to be a princess and a goth bridesmaid shouldn't put a damper on the festivities.\\Good luck!
 
#6
It is your day so I think you had a right to be pissed. Perhaps she can cover the tatoo and remove the piercing day of the wedding? It would be the considerate thing to do.
All i have to say is oww!
 
#7
Thanks everyone...the thing that really makes me feel bad is that I never set any sort of strict rules for the girls to follow, I let them choose their own dresses, and hairstyles...I just expected them to be respectful to me on my day!! I would do it for them!!! And if my cousin 'marries this goth guy' then I will even put weird make-up on for her!!! I just don't think it is too much to ask for her to dress respectfully...especially since the ceremony is in a church. I dunno, I'm not asking her to change her lifestyle, just look respectful and not trashy for our day. Did I mention most of the time (this is going to be bad of me...) she dresses like a (gasp) goth hooker?
 
#8
Ask her respectfully whether she would like to remove her piercings for the day, so that she wouldn't take up all the attention from the other bridesmade, and maybe her dress would fit better?

I bought all the stuff for my bridesmaids, and they matched perfectly right down to shoes, bracelets, necklaces and earrings! It was my day to look good, and they respected my wishes as to what I would like them to wear and I paid for everything.
 
#9
I would think the makeup would be the most important thing.


Just request that she keeps her shawl on either during the ceremony or just for pictures.

Are the tattooed stars big?

(At least her tattoo is stars and not skulls, right?)


I know I said this before, but it's not like she did it with the intent of ruining your wedding.
 
#10
I think everyone has given good advice so far, but I know what you mean LAtiero85. It's your special day - congratulations by the way!! You are the princess! I hope things go already, keep us posted - maybe even with pictures! :flowers:
 
#11
Thanks everyone, I know I may be making a bigger deal about it than it actually is....I mean, I just wanted everyone to be happy and everything to be perfect, and I worry too much about what others think...I was worried that the other side (my FI's fam.) would think we were trashy or weird or something, but you know what? Why ruin relationships over what others think?

Thanks again everyone! I will keep you posted.
 
#12
btw....here is a dress that is very similar to what the girls will be wearing... I couldn't find the exact dress online, but I will take a pic of my sister's and post it later...anyway, this is what the dress looks like....
 

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#13
uh... i was concerned about my bridesmaids having TAN LINES, so i don't think you are out of line at all! stuff like that GLARES in the wedding photos- the very expensive ones of your important day. it sounds like she is thoughtful and considerate, though. i'd share your concerns- she seems to be very respectful!
 
#14
gorgeous dress! congrats on your upcoming nuptials. you definitely are reacting nicer than i would. i would be like a bridezilla and just go nuts! since she is your cousin, i think she would understand the issue if you just calmly explained to her. plus your the bride and it is your special day. also, she should have common sense that since it's a conservative wedding things are meant to be toned down. couldn't you ask her to wear a very padded bra? that way the piercings wont really show on the dresS?
 
#15
you can certainly ask her to remove her piercing for the day and cover up her tattoo if you wish. BUT (i'm sooooo going to get flamed now :shame: ) i don't think you have a right to get upset with her for having tattoos and piercings when she did. your life probably revolves very much around the wedding right now, but i very much doubt hers does, or that she even thought about that when she had them done. if someone went bridezilla on me for having that done (not that i would... i don't think anyway!) i'd probably have some serious second thoughts about even being a bridesmaid.
 
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