Only Horse People

hello2703

hello2703

Show Me The Orange!
O.G.
Jun 17, 2006
8,063
28
#1
ONLY HORSE PEOPLE. . . . . .

  • Believe in the 11th Commandment: Inside leg to outside rein.
  • Know that all topical medications come in either indelible blue or neon yellow.
  • Think nothing of eating a sandwich after mucking out stables.
  • Know why a thermometer has a yard of yarn attached to one end of it.
  • Are banned from Laundromats.
  • Fail to associate whips, chains and leather with sexual deviancy.
  • Can magically lower their voices five octaves to bellow at a pawing horse.
  • Have a language all their own ("If he pops his shoulder, I have to close
  • that hand and keep pushing with my seat in case he sucks back".)
  • Will end relationships over their hobby.
  • Cluck to their cars to help them up hills.
  • Insure their horses for more than their cars.
  • Will give you 20 names and reasons for that bump on your horse.
  • Know more about their horse's nutrition than their own.
  • Have neatsfoot oil stains on the carpet right next to the TV.
  • Have a vocabulary that can make a sailor blush.
  • Have less wardrobe than their horse.
  • Engage in a hobby that is more work than their day job.
  • Mucking stalls is better then Zoloft any day.
 
#2
This really took me back!!

I used to work at ranch (for FREE) when I was a teenager just to be near the horses. My parent's couldn't afford one, but I was convinced that I would rather starve than be without horses, so off I went to be near them.

Gosh I miss that!!
 
#5
That's true... but - also true is that your horse can simply be your friend and liveguard... ("please... home now...!"):yes:
 

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#9
Here are a few more!! "Murphy's Laws" for horses

If you do a thorough check of your trailer before hauling, your truck will break down.
There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.
Tack you hate never wears out, blankets you hate cannot be destroyed, horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
One horse isn’t enough, two is too many.
Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half finished. Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse’s head left to trim.
If you’re wondering if you left the water running in the barn, you did.
If you’re wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn’t.
If a horse is advertised "under $5,000", you can bet he isn’t $2,500.
If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street clothes", you will get dirty.
You can’t push on a lunge line.
A horse’s misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
The number of horses you own increases according to the number of stalls in your barn.
An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.
You can’t run a barn without baling twine.
Hoof picks migrate.
Wind velocity increases in direct proportion to how well your hat fits.
If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
If you’re winning – quit.
 
#10
So true!
We know one thats afraid of a banana tree at the edge of the arena. Its been there all of her 11 years. Shes only afraid when tracking left. And only the banana. Not the palms or hibiscus. Just the banana. And the letter C.

dressage queen said:
only horse people understand that horses are afraid of two things:

1. things that move; and
2. things that don't move.

:P
Click to expand...
 
#11
CB, ain't it the truth about those Murphy's Laws....
Plus, a lot of horses are 'afraid' of the letter C and interpret 'working trot into arena, halt at X' as 'passage into arena, stare at C, pirouette at X and break into canter, jump the arena demarkation at steeplechase speed' ;)
 
#12
hello2703 said:
CB, ain't it the truth about those Murphy's Laws....
Plus, a lot of horses are 'afraid' of the letter C and interpret 'working trot into arena, halt at X' as 'passage into arena, stare at C, pirouette at X and break into canter, jump the arena demarkation at steeplechase speed' ;)
Click to expand...


... I know such a horse...:cursing:
 
#13
Hey! were you in Hawaii for Petunia's first Training Level Test 2???
You must have been!!

This is why her island-wide nickname is "The Little Stinker"


hello2703 said:
CB, ain't it the truth about those Murphy's Laws....
Plus, a lot of horses are 'afraid' of the letter C and interpret 'working trot into arena, halt at X' as 'passage into arena, stare at C, pirouette at X and break into canter, jump the arena demarkation at steeplechase speed' ;)
Click to expand...
 
#14
ahh -- sounds like everyone's familiar with the famous
Dressage Test
For Horses Unsuitable to Become Anything
By: Joanna MacDonald et al

1. A. Enter at ordinary serpentine;

2. C. Stop dead. Stare in horror at Judge and shy to left. Continue at ordinary working gallop.;

3. E. Stagger left 20 or 15 or 22 meters in diameter circle or pear shape or five pointed star. Avoid excessive crossing of legs;

4. K. Begin to halt;
Z. Keep trying;
F. You can do it;
B. Pulley rein. Give up. Continue at out of hand gallop;

5. H. Regain right stirrup. Continue at ordinary trot, bouncing;

6. MKT. Change rein, free walk, loose reins. Remove horse from judge's luncheon table. Ask Judge for leg up. Jump back into ring;
​

7. Z. Turn down centre line. Halt. Grin. Burst into tears. Leave arena at free walk on long reins, loose language.​

 
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