Your My Friend Why Didn't You Tell Me ?

  1. If you saw your girlfriends Boyfriend/Husband obviously cheating on her would you tell her?

    What would the reasons be why you wouldn't tell ?

    What would your reasons be if you, decided tell her ?

    What does it depend on ? in your opinion.
  2. I told someone once only once..she was out of town and she calle dme in the middle of the night because she wanted me check and see if his car was outside( we were neighbors) because she had ben trying to reach him..I checked wasn't ..the next day I found out he had been at another neighbors house doing the hoochie koo :sad: so when she came home I let her know because by that time the whole neighborhood was talking about it..she subsequently got mad at me ( although I told no one except for her and my husband) and told everyone they couldn't trust ME!!:rant: I wasn't messing around on her..and a few months later she became friend with the girl her husband cheated on her with..they were going to the gym together and stuff like that..after that I resolved to stay out of it!!:mad:
  3. It would depend on the situation and the friendship. I would try to figure out if she would want to know (because not everyone does) and if she does, I would tell her. If she didn't, I would not say it directly but ask her what she likes about her bf and just point out the facts how the relationship is going (without being really upfront about it). This sounds so confusing but I hope you know what I mean. The point is not to hurt my friend. It's not her fault. I want her to come to the truth by herself in the least hurtful way.
  4. I would let her know in a hinting way...(i.e. put clues in so she figures it out herself). Sometimes if you confront your friend outright with the truth, they can't bear it and shoot the messenger.

    Years ago, my uncle's mistress knocked on our door and my mom opened it. The mistress brought in a baby and said it was the uncle's. Uncle came home, and begged mom not to tell his wifey, paid the mistress and told her to never contact his family agian. Mom ended up feeling guilty about the whole incident, and told uncle's wife right to her face. She proceeded to ignore the betrayal, and pretend that nothing ever happened.
  5. i think i'd want to tell the person but i'm extremely afraid of confrontation/fighting with people :hrmm: and i'd probably be too afraid that she wouldn't believe/would accuse me of lying/turn on me to say something.......but i'd probably eventually have to tell her because how can we stand aside and watch a friend be cheated on? :noworry:
  6. If she was a close friend, I'd sit her down and break it to her gently. If she chooses not to be my friend after that, so be it. I did my part as a friend.
  7. Clinkenwar - What a horrible outcome!! You just did what she asked!!! She was probably very upset and instead of getting mad at the instigators, she got mad at you! The nerve!!! Judging by what you wrote, she didn't sound like a very good friend.

    Personally, I would have more issues with my friend if she didn't tell me. I would honestly feel betrayed. I do think that tact is of utmost important in situations like this. If my friend didn't tell me and I found out she knew, I would have a hard time trusting her in the future and it would really ruin our friendship.
  8. If I saw someone's 'love' cheating I would call my girl right away..take a photo on my cell as proof, just in case he denies it later. I couldn't let my girl not know....that would be betraying my friend, plus he shouldn't be able to get away with it:mad:
  9. this happened before and because I had a good relationship with that friend, I told her upfront.. I did couch the conversation to "I am concerned for your well-being and only want the best for you.." then I try to be descriptive of what I have observed, not try to be judgmental in anyway, but just state the facts.. I also then check in with her if what she might be thinking and feeling.... I decided to tell my friend coz she was so in love with him that she was willing to give up school for him.. luckily for me, after I told her, it was almost like a wake up call, and she was very thankful to me....of course, she cried like a river and for that, i made myself available..
  10. Wow, Pradasmeadow, this is the toughest question you have asked so far! I would have to consider who the people are that are involved, if there are any children involved, what the circumstances were, blah, blah, blah. That being said, in general I will say this: I would confront the cheating husband and tell him to speak to my friend and tell her what's been going on. If he refused to I'd let him know that I just might tell her myself. I'd have to weigh it very carefully, but I'd probably have to let her know as delicately as possible.
  11. Ha :yes: I asked my Husband the same question, he thought a woman is more likely to tell her friend. He thought most Men would not say anything if the situation was reversed.
  12. I have had the opportunity to ponder this one myself..:cry: :amazed: :mad:

    The answer, NO...

    I fought with myself long and hard. It was my girlfriend. Her husband was fooling around on her.

    I decided in the end not to say a word. I do honestly feel that most woman know. There is a feeling you get, or at least a suspition...

    If you tell her, then she MUST act on that infomation or lose face. Maybe she isnt' ready to face it?
    If the hubby is a dog, she will find out on her own, in her own time. And she did, in this case.

    It is awful to be in that situation....but in the end I think minding you own business is for the best for everyone.
  13. If you're good friends with that person, I would tell. I don't understand people who shoot the messenger. I think that's crap because even if she told you to make you lose face or whatever, at least you'd KNOW, and can rectify the situation...instead of just having people laugh about it behind your back! I don't have that much respect for people who willingly CHOOSE to ignore the fact that their S.O. is cheating on them.

    Also, on a tangent, I don't understand women who hate on "the b*tch who cheated with my husband/bf." I feel that the cheater should bear the full brunt of the blame! Even if the woman flings herself all over him, it's HIM who should have the self control not to respond. So yes, she might be worthless trash, but in the end, it's your man who participated. It takes two to cheat. I just get frustrated when women in that situation get angrier at the other woman than at their own guy.
  14. I would definitely tell. I think that not letting your friend know would feel like betrayal. Because after all, you are not making any determinations or judgments or decisions. You are simply informing her of what is going on. And put simply, there may be things going on in their relationship that you dont know about, and giving her that information would probably help her figure out what to do and what is going on between them (her and her significant other).

    Regardless of her decision after I tell her (of staying with him & work things out, or leaving, or whatever), I would definitely be supportive.
  15. If you saw your girlfriends Boyfriend/Husband obviously cheating on her would you tell her?

    What would your reasons be if you, decided tell her ?
    (1) I must protect my friend.
    (2) Men who cheat must DIE.
    (3) If I'm in her position, I would expect my friend to tell me too.