You Hate Them, You Really, Really Hate Them!

  1. You Hate Them, You Really, Really Hate Them!'s staffers recently confessed the ''great'' films they just don't get -- now, see what our readers had to say on the subject

    Crash (2005)
    It's like having a sledgehammer marked ''RACISM'' smashing into your head for two hours. — Faith

    Never have I been more ticked off on Oscar night... Crash was a farce, a movie that only people who don't watch many movies would like. I liked its message about racism, but the script was just way too contrived. And really, are we supposed to feel sorry for a guy who steals people's cars at gunpoint? He got what he deserved, unlike this movie's creators! — Snoogins

    In 10 years it'll be a camp classic. Never have so many serious actors tackled such serious material so seriously — and thrown around so many racial epithets. Just so you don't waste your time, I'll sum it up for you: Racism is bad, m'kay? And racism pushed Sandy down the stairs. — gazzer

    The English Patient (1996)
    A movie full of characters I had no sympathy for. I hated it, and it baffles me when anyone says it's one of the most romantic movies they've ever seen. — Jean

    Longest. Boringest. Movie. Ever. The only movie I've ever seen people walk out on. The scene where she hits her head? Did they just fall asleep during the editing process? Three hours and 10 minutes wasn't long enough? — Ruddiger

    Beautifully shot, but the main story was so meh. If it all could have been about Juliette Binoche and Naveen Andrews, maybe I'd feel differently. — shazam

    When I saw the Seinfeld episode with Elaine screaming, ''JUST DIE ALREADY!!'' at the screen, I couldn't stop laughing for five minutes straight. — Jude

    Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
    What is so great about watching a bunch of idiots be idiotic together? There's no one to root for, no one to care about, and certainly no sign of intelligent life. I'd rather be forced to watch curling. — Elizabeth

    I have a good friend who finds something new every time she watches Napoleon Dynamite. I watched it with her and the only thing I got out of it was that I recognized Diedrich Bader as Rex Quon Do. (Shrug.) It's an acquired taste, I guess, but not for me. — Bob

    It made me feel very, very old. — Fredd Kross

    The Matrix (1999)
    So profound. So groundbreaking. So original. So... NOT! A clichéd mish-mash of concepts drawn from every sci-fi film ever made. Empty, soulless performances. And lots of money blown on slow-mo chop-socky action that Bruce Lee could do for real. — John

    It seems like some high school geek's idea of what's cool. Unfortunately, with the wire-fu, black leather, and techno beats, this movie was already about 3 years outdated by the time it opened. And despite fanboy interpretations that the videogame plot actually IS deep, the subsequent sequels proved them wrong. — Whiteelephant

    Lost in Translation (2003)
    Was I the only one that didn't believe Scarlett Johansson would look twice at Bill Murray? — Kara

    Lost in Translation: Two rich people lounge around their luxury Tokyo hotel and sneer at everyone else. — Adam K

    How that film won a screenplay Oscar is beyond me. It must have had about a five-page script. — Rosie
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  2. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
    The biggest movie con job ever. I went to see it the day it opened with a bunch of my pretentious, fad-chasing Manhattan coworkers who simply ''had to be there.'' The cinematography wasn't cool or hip; it was nauseatingly disorienting. And unequivocally not scary. I don't know what was worse: having to sit through the movie itself, or trail out of the theater overhearing all of the fake, exasperated ''scared'' comments. — Roger

    I thought I was going to literally barf while watching it because of the camera jiggling. And whiny Heather? Die, already! — Jennifer

    When I see it on TV or cable, I quickly run screaming from the room so I don't have to sit through it again. I guess that is the scary part. — Tina

    There's Something About Mary (1998)
    After multiple failed attempts to rent it, two floors of my dorm convened for a group screening. I fell least four times. Not as screamingly funny as everyone seems to think. — Gila

    There's Something About Mary, but there is NOTHING funny about the hair gel scene! Disgusting! — Jon

    Brokeback Mountain (2005)
    Beautifully shot, well scripted, well acted, but I had ZERO emotional connection with the leads. Ang Lee did the whole forbidden love thing much better in Crouching Tiger. If this was a ''straight'' love story, it would have died a quick death. — Scott

    I was so excited to see the movie that I bought the book while in London and read it first. It was awful. I thought, The movie HAS to be good — everyone says it is, right? Hated it. The scenery was beautiful. Seeing Jake and Heath's bare bums: beautiful. That's all the good I can say. — Jennifer

    I felt absolutely nothing at the end of Brokeback except for embarrassment that Heath Ledger's old-age makeup was so awful. — Lauren

    Pulp Fiction (1994)

    I wasn't bothered by the violence... What I couldn't handle was Tarantino's inane, ridiculous dialogue, heralded by fans and critics alike. — Matt
    I routinely get shunned by my friends for this, but Pulp Fiction did not work for me. Yes, it was fresh, yes, it was new, but I didn't fall under the spell. It seemed like a frat boy got his hands on a camera and decided he'd film the most violent things he could think of, and have us laugh and cheer along with him. — Shan

    Forrest Gump (1994)
    My mother dragged me to it kicking and screaming, because I knew it was just a blatant Oscar bid. The phrases from the movie that everyone copied afterward (Life is so not like a box of chocolates) drove me nuts for weeks after. I'd rather listen to Anakin and Padme mush over each other than listen to Forrest's philosophy. — palmpeg

    Forrest Gump: An idiot's view of history, made for idiots. — Fredd Kross
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  3. American Beauty (1999)
    Maybe the most aggressively pretentious movie I've ever seen. Heavy-handed, trite, and filled with one maudlin cliché after another. — A

    Aside from Kevin Spacey's performance (he was brilliant), the movie stunk like a skunk in an outhouse. I was so mad afterward. I felt so let down and disgusted that the filmmakers decided to portray pedophilia as an okay thing. — American Beauty All the Way

    The worst film to ever take home Best Picture. 1999 was the year of Fight Club. It also has to be seen as when Kevin Spacey began a downward slide, and he has never recovered. — Alex
  4. Other popular picks

    The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001, '02, '03 I know fans will throw wizard sticks at me for this, but I didn't get it. Yes, it was set in a wondrous world with great mythology, but what good is that mythology when it has no grounds in reality? You're supposed to relate to the characters, not feel as if they're people who live in your hand. — Lisa

    Mystic River (2003) Don't even get me started on the last 15 minutes. Just way too much of Sean Penn doing the angry/flexing/looking-out-the-window stance... This section should have been only on the DVD release, under Alternate Endings, or, in my opinion, Deleted Scenes. — Eric

    E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) I hated it as a child and I hated it as an adult. I have an 8-year-old daughter and I can tell you, if she found that bug in her closet, she'd go berzerk and wouldn't touch it with a 10-meter cattle prod. — Oi Yoi Yoi

    Moulin Rouge! (2001) We're told in the first five minutes that Nicole Kidman's character dies, and that she has tuberculosis. Then everybody sings and dances for an hour and a half, then Nicole Kidman's character dies from tuberculosis. There's two hours of my life that I'll never get back. — lunaburning

    Mulholland Drive (2001) Hubby and I got cozy for what we thought would be a supreme adult drama. Yikes — at the end we looked at each other and went, ''Huh?'' — barbara

    Sideways (2004) I almost felt ashamed I didn't like it. I hate feeling ashamed for not liking a movie. Which made me dislike it even more... — Cyndi

    Fargo (1996) A 2-hour excuse to do a weird accent. Yah, you betcha. — Jon
  5. Oh...I agree with SO many of those!
  6. I usually hate movies that everyone else loves, and I agree with a few of these.

    I have to disagree with the list about Pulp Fiction though. I loved that movie. I love everything that Quentin does. Yes even Grindhouse. :rolleyes:

    Also I found Brokeback Mountain to be more of a comedy than a love story. Now, I have never been camping nor a guy BUT I don't get how men just get together like that. Maybe they were bored? The original undercover brothers? I did hate Lost in Translation (I fall asleep EVERY TIME I try to watch it) and The Matrix trilogy. Then again, I don't like scifi movies.
  7. i liked Forrest Gump...
    Tom Hanks actually graduated from my high school.
  8. I agree with all but Napoleon Dynamite.
  9. Personally, I loved Crash, and I don't usually enjoy movies that have anything to do with racism.
  10. I agree with all but Napoleon Dynamite and Pulp Fiction.. I worship the ground Quentin Tarantino walks on.... But I have to say, ITA that I thought Brokeback Mountain was comedy when I saw it... it was so forced.
  11. I loved Crash, Brokeback Mountain, Pulp Fiction (I :heart: Quentin Tarantino) and Lord of the Rings trilogy

    they rest of the movies are :tdown:
  12. Lost in Translation and Moulin Rouge are some of my FAVE films! :biggrin:
  13. I liked Moulin Rouge!

    And while I thought some of the lines from Napoleon Dynamite were funny, I didn't like sitting through a whole movie filled with them.
  14. I pretty much agree with that, there are a couple that I thought were cute, like Sideways, Crash, Something About Mary, but just cute, not Great Art like Napoleon Dynamite.

    I have a hard time telling Matrix and Mulholland Drive apart in my memory, they were both just so long and rambling. If I want long and rambling, I can come here and click "Find All Posts By ShimmaPuff."
  15. i agree with the majority of those - lost in translation, lord of the rings, napoleon dynamite, ugh! all waaaaay overrated and irritating to watch, imo. many of them i haven't seen because i KNOW i would hate them (sideways, blair witch). however, Pulp Fiction is my favorite movie EVER and I enjoyed Crash.